I know why the caged bird kills.
Oh hey, it's one of those (every) Maureen Dowd columns that are real-person fanfiction pretending to be...idk, something the New York Times would print. And this time, it's a ~*crossover*~ with The West Wing. It's funny because it's Obama/Bartlet fanfiction written by Bartlet's creator (whom Maureen Dowd used to date) (as Studio 60 so helpfully informed us). BARTLET Well, it seems to me your problem is a lot like the problem I had twice.
OBAMA Which was?
BARTLET A huge number of Americans thought I thought I was superior to them.
OBAMA And?
BARTLET I was.
OBAMA I mean, how did you overcome that?
BARTLET I won’t lie to you, being fictional was a big advantage.
OBAMA What do you mean?
BARTLET I’m a fictional president. You’re dreaming right now, Senator.
OBAMA I’m asleep?
BARTLET Yes, and you’re losing a ton of white women.
OBAMA Yes, sir.
BARTLET I mean tons.
OBAMA I understand.
BARTLET I didn’t even think there were that many white women.
OBAMA I see the numbers, sir. What do they want from me?
BARTLET I’ve been married to a white woman for 40 years and I still don’t know what she wants from me.
OBAMA How did you do it?
BARTLET Well, I say I’m sorry a lot.
OBAMA I don’t mean your marriage, sir. I mean how did you get America on your side?
BARTLET There again, I didn’t have to be president of America, I just had to be president of the people who watched “The West Wing.”
OBAMA That would make it easier.
BARTLET You’d do very well on NBC. Thursday nights in the old “ER” time slot with “30 Rock” as your lead-in, you’d get seven, seven-five in the demo with a 20, 22 share - you’d be selling $450,000 minutes.
It's also funny because 30 Rock crushed Studio 60 to the expectation of no one.
I watched The West Wing and I supported the Republican dude from M.A.S.H. (TWoP: "the writers' wet dream of a Republican"), who, now that I think about it, was probably based off of McCain. And his Democratic opponent was a young, minority, dark horse candidate who came out of nowhere to win the presidency. And I hated that character because he was too idealistic and fluffy and somehow won a major party nomination/the presidency with no experience (no experience = 3 term congressman + mayor of Houston). Omglolz. And now John McCain will become Barack Obama's Secretary of State. The end.
OBAMA Which was?
BARTLET A huge number of Americans thought I thought I was superior to them.
OBAMA And?
BARTLET I was.
OBAMA I mean, how did you overcome that?
BARTLET I won’t lie to you, being fictional was a big advantage.
OBAMA What do you mean?
BARTLET I’m a fictional president. You’re dreaming right now, Senator.
OBAMA I’m asleep?
BARTLET Yes, and you’re losing a ton of white women.
OBAMA Yes, sir.
BARTLET I mean tons.
OBAMA I understand.
BARTLET I didn’t even think there were that many white women.
OBAMA I see the numbers, sir. What do they want from me?
BARTLET I’ve been married to a white woman for 40 years and I still don’t know what she wants from me.
OBAMA How did you do it?
BARTLET Well, I say I’m sorry a lot.
OBAMA I don’t mean your marriage, sir. I mean how did you get America on your side?
BARTLET There again, I didn’t have to be president of America, I just had to be president of the people who watched “The West Wing.”
OBAMA That would make it easier.
BARTLET You’d do very well on NBC. Thursday nights in the old “ER” time slot with “30 Rock” as your lead-in, you’d get seven, seven-five in the demo with a 20, 22 share - you’d be selling $450,000 minutes.
It's also funny because 30 Rock crushed Studio 60 to the expectation of no one.
I watched The West Wing and I supported the Republican dude from M.A.S.H. (TWoP: "the writers' wet dream of a Republican"), who, now that I think about it, was probably based off of McCain. And his Democratic opponent was a young, minority, dark horse candidate who came out of nowhere to win the presidency. And I hated that character because he was too idealistic and fluffy and somehow won a major party nomination/the presidency with no experience (no experience = 3 term congressman + mayor of Houston). Omglolz. And now John McCain will become Barack Obama's Secretary of State. The end.