First done of the ficlet writing prompts I asked for is done!
fredbassett said... Oooh, wow! Primeval, please. Something with Lester and Ryan? Either slash or gen would be lovely. Prompt: "Thank you, captain. Your report was a model of brevity. As was Cutter's. Now tell me what really happened.
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"Thank you, captain. Your report was a model of brevity. As was Cutter's. Now tell me what really happened."
There was a long silence.
"Are you sure you want to know, sir?"
"No, I am reasonably sure I do not, given the fact that Hart, Temple and Miss Maitland are all hospitalised with what - I am told - is an allergy to something which both Cutter obviously suggested that you both describe as "a previously completely unknown organism of a semi-vegetable nature", whatever that means."
"Slimy and it moves, sir."
"Wonderful. Slimy and it moves, and it has been extinct for 300 million years. For which, I am sure, we are all profoundly grateful.
"However, the attending doctor is asking for samples before he can treat them. Of course samples could be provided, as you inform me that the said something - or possibly a whole colony of it - is apparently even now infesting the ruins of a scheduled monument in the middle of Dorset, along with an unknown number of three-foot...." there was another silence, "Pulmonoscorpius, which I hope is not the scientific term for -"
"Scorpions. Big, ugly, really fu- really big scorpions."
"Thank you captain, the words three foot alerted me to that. Scorpions and what Cutter blandly described as "a nest of potentially venomous giant.... what was the word Cutter used? Archimy-"
"Sorry, sir, to me they just looked like big, ugly, f- really nasty bugs. Whatever they were, they were what came before cockroaches, or so Professor Cutter told me."
"Wonderful. I am not sure which would panic the general population more."
"That's why the flamethrowers were requested."
"Yes well, flamethrowers hardly mix well with scheduled monuments, which is - I am told - due to be the subject to a three-day archaeological dig that is meant to be televised nationwide. And before you say it, neither does semi-vegetable... slime or giant bugs.
"So the minister wants an explanation from me, that he can somehow use to explain this to British Heritage, so they can explain shutting the site down while yet another prehistoric mess is dealt with.
"So once again, captain, tell me - in simple terms that a government minister will understand - what really happened."
There was another long silence.
"Are you absolutely sure you want to know, sir?"
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