[Complete]

[spinincopywheel]

Who: Itachi and Deidara
What: Itachi pays Deidara a visit after his waking is long overdue.
When: Thrusday Night
Where: Inside L's bedroom
Warnings: Oh not much, just the angst, the tension, the heartbreaking sadness.


Six days. It had been six days since Deidara had fallen from the mental strain of Tsukiyomi. He should have awoken three days ago, and hadn't. Itachi pondered the possibility of having gone further then he thought, but dismissed the idea. He was completely in control of his jutsu, every aspect of it. Another idea that had possessed him was that perhaps Deidara's mind had been weaker then originally thought. This idea was dismissed quickly as well. Still something was wrong and didn't sit well with him.

His decision to check on the blond Akatsuki member had been a thought out one, and he waited. He waited until the detective had left his bedside, retiring to the living room for the night. Wings made it easier to reach the forth floor window, further being simplified for him was the window being left open just enough for him to slip his fingers under and sliding it open.

Silently he slipped inside, his bare feet dropping noiselessly to the carpet, taking a moment to silence the quick thudding of his heart beneath his bare chest. He turned his head, eyes a fiery shade of crimson falling upon Deidara's still sleeping figure, and eyebrow arched curiously.

White wings. Of course.

He moved over to the side of the bed, looking down on the sleeping form. He looked so innocent like this, and a small rush of guilt passed over him. Why, he did not know. He knew full well what the blond was capable of. Still, his appearance as of the moment was that of an angel for a painting. A laughable thought.

"Deidara. You can wake up now," he whispered silently into the dark, facing away from him.

It had been twice as long as Itachi had expected. Theoretically, Deidara was supposed to have awaken long before now. Two days. Three at max. However, here it was... day six, and Deidara was still sleeping quietly on L's bed, since the other didn't use it. He had been kept watch over by the detective as well as Hatake Kakashi, but like it mattered. He was completely out of it, still in the coma Itachi had placed him under.

The blond was sleeping peacefully. He had grown white wings, and now resembled the token celestial angel, what with his long locks of golden hair, and bright blue eyes, currently closed. His face was passive, lip lips puckered slightly in sleep. However, even at Itachi's words, he still did not wake.

In the back of Deidara's mind, where the darkness Itachi had placed him into thrived, he himself was trying to remain asleep.

It was, after all, for the better.

A sigh escaped his lips. He turned, kneeling beside the bed, eye level with the blond. Another pang of guilt that ruffled the feathers of his jet black wings. Subconsciously, he streatched the newly formed appendages out backward, discarding a few feathers in the process before they once again folded against his back.

His head hung down, looking at the floor, loose locks of raven hair falling about his face. This was...not right in any sense. He had been careful. I punishment fitting of the crime. Three days he had been out for, two of which he was dead. He had carefully, so goddamn carefully calculated the length. He had it set, but three days... three damn days late! He had to have done something wrong.

"Deidara...," he whispered again, this time closer to him, warm breath dusting over the same cheek that a pale, slender finger ran over.

Something in the back of Deidara's mind clicked.

It was subtle. Someone wanted him awake. The same person he was trying to sleep for. It seemed all at once everything in his body kicked on, and there was a rush in his system. He felt his heart rate increase, and a warm tingle traveled over his body, finally up to his neck and face, where color started to bubble in his cheeks, flushing them pink.

And then, his blond lashes fluttered, barely. His lips parted faintly, a sigh escaping him, and slowly, his eyes opened. Of course, only one was visible.

A dark figure hung over him in the night. Deidara stared back, as if entranced, shimmering crimson eyes focused on him in the night. A finger running over his cheek... large black wings...

Had death come for him?

--...I should have known death would look like Itachi un. How fittingly beautiful...--

--Where am I...? Am I really...? ....Dead?--

"...Who." Deidara managed to let out faintly. His voice was weak. "...Where am I yeah...?"

Relief was the only word for it, and it chased out his unease with a sigh.

He pulled back his hand, letting it fall into his lap with the other one, watching as the blond stirred. So subtle everything was, but in the quiet of night, he could hear everything. the way his heartbeat quickened, his breathing quicker. Hie eyes, the color of freshly shed blood watched as the color flushed into his cheeks, coming up to meet a singularly exposed eye of cobalt blue.

"Beauty is not a factor I associate with death, nor myself for that matter."

It was happening again. This time he could clearly see it. These were Deidara's thoughts he was hearing, this time he was sure. He heard them loud and clear in his mind, yet the blond's lips hadn't moved yet.

"No, you are not dead. Even if you were it is not permanent in this place. You are in the apartment of that detective, on his bed. As for who I am, one would think you could recognize me."

--Itachi.--

Deidara's singular eyes widened, before quickly snapping shut. Without thinking, his arms swung up to lash out at the other man, although the attempt was weak and feeble, considering he hasn't moved in quite some time.

--You! YOU! Get away from me!!!--

Itachi reached out, gently -since when was he the gentle kind- grasping both of Deidara's wrists. His swing was weakened, that much he could tell, and it took little effort to hold the two wrists together, his hands clasped around them...almost as if he as in prayer.

"Deidara. Don't. I understand, you have reason to fear me, but I only came to speak with you, nothing more."

The blond attempted to jerk his hand away from his now sitting up position. Behind him, his wings flicked about, showing off his obvious agitation. He panted before growling, and then looking up at him.

"Speak un," He let out, voice still in a whisper.

He released his grip on the blonds wrists, Letting his hands slid down, once again into his lap. His eyes, not having faded away from vermilion to onyx now stared up at the blond from his kneeling position.

Fitting. The fallen angel kneels before the angel.

"I saw the video Deidara. I watched it, and I'm confused by what I saw."

Deidara stared back at him. His large white wings hung above him a in a perked position, as if surprised. The look on his face matched, he had to admit. His lone blue eye stared down at the dark-haired man, before slowly looking away.

--Please. Go away. Please...--

"....I have nothing to say to you un," He stated.

Dark wings drooped, laying against the floor, feathers bending with the force. They showed his disappointment, dark eyes following suit and dropping to the floor soon after.

So he deserved this, but he wasn't going to give up. He wanted to know. He wanted to know why the man looked so broken after completing something he sought after for so long.

Once again onyx eyes turned up and faced him, though his soot black wings still hung limply to the floor.

"Deidara. I want to know why, if my death was something you wanted so much, then why did you look so broken?"

--Get away from me dammit... you're too close...--

"I just said..."

--...My heart hurts...--

"I don't have anything to say to you un." Although the voice on the inside was crying, Dei's face remained impassive. It was strange... how ninjas were tried to hide and conceal their emotions, but with the ability to see though them, did everyone cry out like that? The blond shifted in the bed, turning away from Itachi slowly, his large white wings shifting as well, closer to the ebony haired man.

"I'm tired yeah."

--I want to go back to sleep again...--

"Deidara..."

Here in front of him was the man that had killed him. One who had taken his life, and though it wasn't permanent, it still left a lasting impression. So then why, why did his heart clench at the sound Deidara's inner voice crying?

He reached out, fingers just brushing over the feathers of the wings..."Utsukushii," a mere breath of the word. So pure, so white. Why were his own so dark and tainted.

"Deidara, please answer me, and I promise I'll leave," he whispered just loud enough for the other to hear, though hoping he couldn't hear the waver in his voice.

--STOP IT!!!!--

Deidara spun back to have him, his arms instantly swiping out. Both of his hands grabbed fistfuls of Itachi's raven-colored locks of hair, yanking him forward before both fo his hands slammed onto either side of his face, locking him in place. The blond brought his own face close, staring deeply into his eyes, his cobalt orb nearly trembling with the whirlwind of emotions that was forming in him.

"Get out." He hissed, his temper rising. His heart was thudding painfully in his chest. His thoughts were not all scrambled, different voices, yet the same person yelling back and forth over what to do, what he had done, what he should have done, what not to do, what he should do--

"I don't want you near me un. I want you to stay away form me. I never--"

--Don't say it.--

"I...."

--Why is he so confusing...? Please...--

"I wouldn't hesitate to do it again!" He snapped, voice hoarse. "Get out. GET OUT!" he finally snapped, shoving him away.

--No one has called me that before yeah...--

"AND DON'T COME BACK!"

--Don't leave me. Not again.--

"EVER!" The blond finished.

His eyes were wide in surprise, his heart racing. He was careful to hear everything, both spoken and unspoken. They contradicted each other, but still he listened even after being pushed away, his bare chest hitting the carpet, hair fanning out around him, wings limp and draped over his fallen form.

Eyes melted from onyx, to crimson, and back again, twinkling in the dim moonlight that shone from the open window. His gaze was steady, though sad. They never left Deidara's trembling form.

Slowly he stood, his own body slightly shaky. It was so different, being able to hear that voice hidden on the inside. Yet, perhaps it was for the better. It made things clearer.

He was quick, arms encircling over the blond, holding Deidara's head to his chest, wings of the darkest midnight circling around both of them.

"I won't leave. Never again."

How did he know?

Deidara felt Itachi's arms take him into the other's warm body. The blond's eyes went wide, and soon his vision turned to black, both with Itachi's body pressed into his face, and of course, the huge black wings that surrounded them. He was drowning in darkness again, like he had when Itachi used his faithful Tsukiyomi on him, however, this darkness, instead of being cold and alone....

...It was...

Deidara's hands twitched on the bedsheets before slowly lifting, arms shaking. In a matter of moments, they slowly rested on Itachi's chest, the blond remaining silent as he sat in Itachi's arms, staring blankly into the warm darkness.

His heart was racing. It was not what he had been expecting. No, not this. Yet it explained so much.

He stayed like that for what seemed like ages. His breath soft and deep, his head tilted downward, looking atop the strands of blond under his fingers. Just the sight of him like this caused his thoughts to race. Though only one question kept resurfacing over and over again.

"How long?"

Deidara didn't move in Itachi's arms. He just stayed there, locked in the older man's grasp.

--How long what? Until you were an obsession un...?-- Deidara's lashed blinked against Itachi's chest slowly. --Stop talking un... you're making me... want to go to sleep again...--

An obsession?

Slowly Itachi moved his arms just enough to try and coax Deidara to look up at him. His didn't know, he didn't really understand....

"An obsession?" his voice echoed his thoughts. He shook his head. "No, don't fall back asleep. You were asleep for far to long."

The blond stared up at him. Somehow... Itachi was hearing his thoughts. The blond sighed faintly, his eyes sliding closed, arms lowering has his hands slipped down Itachi's chest, releasing him altogether. Deidara shook his head slowly, opening his eyes again, staring back at Itachi with his half-lidded blue orb.

"...Yes un. Obsession. Didn't I... say that already?"

--I thought killing you would finally rid my mind of you... but when you disappeared... you were still there. And you haunted me even more persistently than before yeah....--

"If there was some way to get rid of these sick thoughts yeah. I'd do it in a heartbeat. I hate thinking about you un. I hate you."

--Ever since the first day we met... I can't get you out of my mind...--

The words made Itachi's arms fall to his sides, his wings falling from around them, his eyes blank, staring, blinking up at him as his knees hit the floor.

He remained like that for a moment, or longer. Time seemed to be crawling by an an agonizing pace. All he could do was stare.

"Don't say that."

The nineteen-year-old went quiet. Deidara's eyes slowly lowered to look at Itachi, staring at him. How he was on his knees before him... something that before the blond would have rejoiced in.

But like the Uchiha's death, it brought him no joy.

"I'll say what I want yeah."

Talk is cheap un...

"I hate you." Deidara lifted his head to look up at the ceiling.

--Actions speak louder than words, right...?--

"I hate you more than anything, Uchiha Itachi."

--So why am I....?--

Crying. Deidara felt tears start slipping down his face as he stared blankly up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes, enveloping him in darkness again, hoping it would swallow him up.

--....Crying....--

He watched silently. It was all he really could do was watch. Dark eyes taking in the tears -only visible by brier twinkling in the moonlight- falling down his face. He listened to those words, both spoken and not, sadness lingering thickly in the air.

"Deidara," he spoke softly, a slight hint of something lacing the words. He reached up, one thumb brushing the tears away from his visible eye.

"If you truly believe that, look me in the eyes and tell me."

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Deidara hissed at him, smacking his hand away.

"Get away from me, Uchiha! Just...!"

--Stop making me so confused!--

"Fine. Forget it! I'LL leave!" Deidara turned away, scooting out fo the bed. He turned , pushing himself off, his feet onto the floor--

--and collapsed into a pile of sheets and white wings.

He sharply pulled his hand back, holding it close to his chest. The ring on his middle ringer glinted in the dim light, his wings flickering out behind him. Did Deidara ignore his request because he couldn't bring himself to do so?

Confused? What was there for him to be confused about? He was the one who was confused, even being able to hear the man's inner thoughts.

He sighed, moving over to the man as he fell, leaning down next to him, bringing him up to face him, bringing his face up in his hands.

"Deidara. If you really feel that way, look me in the eyes and say it," he repeated.

The blond looked up at him sharply.

"I...!"

He hesitated. His mouth closed, the opened again.

"I... I..."

--I can't do it.--

The blond stared up into Itachi's eyes. He closed them tightly, letting the rest of his tears spill from his face.

"....I can't un."

--What's wrong with me...?--

Once again Itachi used his thumbs to wipe away the overflown tears from Deidara's cheeks. He couldn't do it, like he had thought. Then it was also as he thought; the blond didn't really mean it.

Slowly he shook his head, his thumbs still sliding along his cheeks.

"Nothing. There is nothing is wrong with you. You can't do it, because maybe you don't really mean it."

"Fuck you," Deidara managed to stammer out, however his hands reached out and grabbed Itachi's waist, tightly, as if holding onto a lifeline. He saw the silver glint on Itachi hand, and his blue eyes flit to it, trying to find anything, desperately, to get off the topic of them, of... this.

"What's that un?" He managed to let out, picking on the innocent piece of jewelry. "I thought you got dumped, unless you found someone else while I was unconscious yeah. Of course," He scoffed, weakly, "I shouldn't put it past you yeah? Fuck up someone's mind, and then go and fuck someone. That sounds like the bastard I know."

His own eyes traveled over to the ring resting on his finger, trying to ignore the vice like grip around his waist. It had been delivered to his door earlier that day, and though he didn't know exactly, he had a pretty damn good guess who had sent it.

His eyes looked back over, seeking out Deidara's.

"It's a ring Deidara, a simple piece of jewelry. A gift for my birthday a couple weeks past, nothing more.

"Though, why am I explaining to you? You killed me. You led me on, playing on a wound that is still quite fresh and killed me.

"I belong to no one, Deidara, I have not slept with anyone in a while, and in case you didn't notice it's on my middle finger therefore symbolizing nothing more then decoration."

He sighed, pulling at faintly at the blond's arms, trying to loosen the grip on his waist.

"It almost sounds like you're jealous."

Deidara gave Itachi a look.

--So what if I am?--

"I'm not un. Don't be delusional." Deidara uttered, releasing the other man. He wanted to meet Itachi's gaze, but he couldn't. He took a shaky breath, staring at Itachi's neck, as it was the best thing to focus on at the time. He... he had led him on. And he was admittedly proud of his cleverness and deft--but not what came out of it.

"Itachi un... I..."

"So you are. On what grounds do you think you have the right to be jealous of anyone I take an interest in?"

He sighed, looking off to the side for a moment. Had he still not figured out Itachi could hear what he was thinking? He looked back, only to fine him avoiding his gaze.

"You what?"

Deidara felt his hand twitch.

--Maybe I was wrong about feeling bad about blowing your head off you asshole.--

He didn't say anything. Deidara started attempting to get to his feet, not looking at Itachi. They were weak, he could tell. When he rose, he was a bit wobbly. But it would do to walk out and go into the living room and find L.

"You felt bad? The why'd you do it in the first place?"

Curious now, Itachi reached out with his left hand, grasping the blonds wrist, pulling him back toward him.

Bad idea.

As he pulled, the younger male, still shaky on his legs ,spun and fell into him. Itachi fell back, his wings spreading out to avoid being crushed, his body cushioning the blonds fall.

"Deidara...." he trailed off, looking up at the blond.

--He feels good.--

Deidara's arms wrapped around Itachi's neck as his body fell directly into his. The two seemed to meld together perfectly--Deidara's blond hair rested on Itachi's shoulders, mixing in with the ebony-black locks. He felt his cheeks color faintly, the pink mixing in well with his tannish skin. Their faces were so close... Deidara could feel Itachi's soft breath on his lips, and the blond shifted against the older man's body, moaning faintly at the slight friction as his arms tightened around Itachi's neck, leaning in towards him.

--Why does this feel... so right...?--

How was it that every time they got together they ended up in a position like this? All it did was make things awkward, and yet it seemed almost...natural.

He stared up at the blond, eyes wide open, blinking softly, expression near blank. There was ...something there, but one would have to look for it.

Each breath was soft, his chest rising and falling under Deidara's weight. Each exhalation was mixed with the other's breath, warm against his lips.

Slowly, and not without uncertainty, Itachi slipped his hands around Deidara's waist, moving around and resting open palm on his back. Silently he agreed with the blonds thoughts before closing the short distance between them, lips pressing their together softly.

Deidara was instantly torn in two as he felt Itachi's lips guide themselves into his. His heart seemed to skip a beat. They were...

Kissing. They were kissing, and even though it was supposed to be vile and disgusting that he was even so close to an Uchiha, so intimate, his thudding heart continued to pound deeply into his own chest, against Itachi's, as if forcing them to unify and mesh with each other. Itachi's soft lips against his own made Deidara's stomach knot almost painfully.

But... he didn't pull away.

The blond's arms merely tightened around the older missing-nin again, closing the gap in between them.

His eyelashes fluttered, flickering between keeping his eyes half open, and completely closed. He forced them to remain open, his eyes -dark as night- watched the blond half out of caution. The last time he had been in this position he would up waking up in the forest yelling in pain two days later.

He was so very aware of everything. Aware of the heart -not his own- pounding against his chest, each breath, every movement whether they were his own or not. Even aware that one of his hands had moved up, slipping around the back of Deidara's neck, fingers twining through golden strands.

He rested there for a moment longer, their lips just barely touching. It was...risky, but such was the way of the lives they chose to live. Still Itachi used his hand to pull the blond closer, their lips pressed against each other in a bruising kiss.

The kiss was made firmer, and it sent a shiver up Deidara's spine, one he could feel being suppressed by Itachi's hand on his back. The hairs on the back of his neck seemed to stand on end as Itachi's fingers found their way into his sunny-colored locks. His lips started to tingle from the sheer pressure of the kiss.

He only pressed back harder, tilting his head. His own fingers gripped Itachi's hair, tugging gently, pawing at his scalp like a kitten, before his weight increased on the other man, pressing him what seemed even deeper into the floor. And then, Deidara allowed Itachi what could have been taken almost as a sign of a truce.

This time, instead of asking entrance into Itachi's mouth, he slowly opened his own.

He pressed his fingers firmly against the blond's back shortly after feeling the shiver pass under their tips. His head tilted a little further upward, allowing more room for the hands in his hair that sent a violent shiver jolting under his skin. His hand tightened in the yellow strands, his eyes finally falling closed taking in the pleasant weight of the blond against him.

They didn't stay closed long, snapping open half in surprise as lips parted against his own.

It took him a minute, but finally he responded, his eyes drifting shut again, his tongue slowly -hesitantly- slipped past Deidara's lips. A sign of forgiveness, and the small spark of that would be the beginnings of trust. All of which would be lost if the blond took advantage of it the same way he had last time.

Well, he certainly took advantage of it, but not the way Itachi was probably referring to. Soon, his tongue clashed against the Uchiha's, swirling in his mouth as he gave Itachi's black locks another tug. He continued to lay on top of him, as if pinning him down, even though the blond knew, at any moment if Itachi desired, he would be the one on his back.

A soft moan escaped from his throat, deep into Itachi's mouth. And not just any moan--his name.

"Itachi... un..." Deidara whispered faintly into the Uchiha's open, moist cavern. His slender fingers tightened around Itachi's black locks of hair. "...Ita..."

There was a huff of a sigh released from between their lips. It was made our of sheer relief, the letting go of a weight that had settled on his chest the moment their lips met. Still he didn't fully allow himself to relax. A tiny part of him still held that doubt.

He was distracted though, torn away from his thoughts by fingers pulling at his hair. Soft vibrations of a moan against his lips causing him to pause, obsidian eyes staring flickering open, looking up at the younger male.

He sat up, keeping the blond against him, his nose brushing against his jawline. His wings stretched out behind him, thankful for the movement after being pinned all the time. Itachi's breath was soft and warm, lips barely brushing across skin as they made their way to Deidara's ear.

"Deidara." His voice was low, whispered huskily against the shell of his ear. There was no reason behind the muttered name, just an anchor to reality, making sure that yes, it was really happening.

The blond released a shivering, hot breath against Itachi's own ear when he felt his name whispered heatedly into his ear, verifying their reality. Deidara slowly unwound his arms from Itachi's neck, running his fingers down the man's chest.

"...Itachi..." He murmured again, feeling his face heat up. The other man was so warm against him... the youth felt his stomach wrench at the thought. He uses his hands to push of slowly against Itachi, forcing himself away.

"....I... you need to... you need to leave un." He whispered faintly.

He blinked over at him, dropping his hands, allowing the other to pull away from him. His hands rested limply in his lap. Dark eyes watched for a few seconds before reaching out before Deidara could fully pull away.

One hand pushed aside the blond strands that hung in his face. Itachi leaned forward, lips nearly pressed against the newly exposed cheek.

"I will leave, but only because you asked me too. Not because I want to."

He dropped his hand, slowly making his way to his feet, the midnight wings folding elegantly behind him.

"...." Deidara sat their quietly, glad when Itachi rose to his feet, as a blush settled on his cheeks right after. He merely remained sitting. If he sat there... he would leave. He would leave, and he wouldn't have to deal with him any longer. He could go back to sleep.... he could...

--Don't leave me again.--

His head tilted to the side, eyes falling back down on Deidara's silent form. e gave a small sight, bending over, grabbing the blonds hands, pulling him to his feet.

With a blank, yet slightly softened expression Itachi cupped the blonds face in his hands.

"Don't ask me to go then, and I won't." Briefly he rubbed his nose against Deidara's before pressing their lips together in another kiss.

"Mmm." The blond kissed him back briefly, his eyes closing for those few precious seconds before he slowly pulled away, opening them again to stare at the other man. It was strange--he was seeing him in a new light... not as just an Uchiha... but Uchiha Itachi. A person... someone he had...

"...No." He needed to think about this. "...You need to go."

--As good as I feel in his arms, I need to think about this un.--

He nodded, dropping his hands, stepping over toward the window. He paused there for a moment, looking out, his wings flickering.

He turned back to face Deidara, his head tilted slightly, eyes blinking against the moonlight that fully illuminated his form.

"You'll know where to find me, and when you're ready..." he trailed off, looking back out the window for a moment, then back to the blond. "When you're ready I'll be waiting."

Deidara stared at him. Itachi was perched, ready to take flight.... he had a choice he had to make, a chance to stop him, or let him go.

What to do...

"...Okay un." He stated faintly, remaining grounded to the spot. His eyes remained locked on Itachi, however, he made his resolve. The blond did not move, and wouldn't. Couldn't. It wasn't that simple--couldn't be that simple. Not for people like him. Like them.

His brow furrowed in disappointment, a sigh escaping him to match. Itachi turned back out the window, letting himself free fall, the wings on his back catching him just in time to let him float and gracefully land on his feet.

He turned, looking back up over his shoulder, staring up at the window he just jumped from. He shook his head, ridding himself of the though. He probably wouldn't follow him.

He wouldn't. Deidara walked to the window, staring out at the other man with his one visible cobalt eye. He stared... and stared...

...And then, without an other word, he reached up and shut the window.

Tight.