DW Fic- Right Beside You 1/13
Title: Right Beside You 1/13
Author: Salimali
Rating: PG
Characters: TenII/Rose, Jackie, Pete, OC
Disclaimer: I don't own DW or any of its affiliated characters.
Spoilers: I assume you're all familiar with Journey's End by now.
Summary: TenII hasn't settled very well into Pete's world. Rose has to set him free before he destroys them both. Can there ever be a Happily Ever After for these two?
Author Notes: PLEASE NOTE, this is NOT part of the Meant to Be series. This is another take on Rose/TenII's life in Pete's world.
Thank you to the brilliant wishiknewwho and nipplemuggins who have been awesome beta's.
The Doctor sat in the middle of what Rose could only describe as a disaster area. Bits of machinery, high tech computers, wires, batteries, bulbs and umpteen unnameable alien artefacts purloined from the archives at Torchwood surrounded him as he sat, cross legged, his shoulders slumped in defeat. He looked as if he hadn’t eaten or slept for at least a week and Rose noticed as she sniffed the air around him that he certainly hadn’t showered either. Tiptoeing over the debris Rose made her way to the Doctor and placed her hand gently on his shoulder. He shrugged her off impatiently, still looking at the little piece of TARDIS cradled gently in his hands.
“Leave me alone Rose,” his voice croaked, as if that too hadn’t been used for the last week. “I told you last week, leave me alone. You don’t love me. I’m not him. I’m never going to be him. And now this proves it. I’m never going to travel among the stars again and I’ll never be enough for you.”
Rose sighed. It had been six months since Norway and this Doctor was still pushing her away, seemingly punishing her for choosing him over the other Doctor. He thought he was lacking because he was no longer a Time Lord, because he didn’t have a TARDIS anymore. He thought that Rose didn’t love him for him and no amount of telling him otherwise would change his opinion. Rose was tired, tired of fighting with him, tired of the disappointment she saw every time she looked into his eyes, and most of all she was tired of crying and being sad. This was supposed to be their happy ever after, but it wasn’t and she didn’t know what else to do.
“Please stop saying those things,” she whispered dejectedly. “I don’t know if I can take anymore. What’s wrong? Please tell me how to make things better.”
The Doctor laughed a sad, bitter laugh, “What’s wrong? She asks the freak, what could possibly be wrong? You picked the wrong one, Rose. I’m nothing but a copy, a clone, a duplicate, version 10.2 and you deserve the real thing. I haven’t even got a TARDIS for you - hell, now, not even a piece of coral. It’s died Rose dead, caput, no good.”
He threw the offending piece of coral across the room. Rose watched as he threw it away, she’d hoped that when his plan didn’t work, that it would end this ridiculous situation between them and they could move on together. It had got so bad that Rose had gone to stay with her mother as he continued to try and find a way to send her back to the Time Lord Doctor, where he thought she wanted to be. Rose remembered all the times and different ways she’d tried to tell him it was him she loved and that she wanted to stay with him. But she was getting weary.
“I don’t want a TARDIS, I just want you, Doctor,” Rose pleaded, hoping that this time above all the others he might believe her. She was startled when he jumped up and started to pace the room.
“Stop calling me that!” he shouted, making Rose flinch.
“Why? It’s your name isn’t it?” Rose felt her temper spike, months of hurt and sorrow coming to the fore.
“No! It’s his name, not mine,” he spat. “I’m nothing, I have no name.”
“You! You are everything to me,” countered Rose, repeating a familiar argument. She moved around the room to stand near him, reaching out her hand for him to hold.
“I’m nothing, Rose, I’m a nobody. Please leave me alone. Let me be. I’m no good for you.” He opened the door to the flat signalling to Rose that her time was up. “Bye, Rose. Be safe.”
Rose left the flat defeated. There was no way she could persuade the Doctor that she needed to be with him, that she loved him. She walked away and wondered just how many times she could suffer the Doctor’s rejection and still keep her heart whole.
Rose arrived back at the mansion where she was living while the Doctor stayed in her flat, to see Jackie waiting for her with a cup of tea and a sympathetic ear.
“How’s his nibs today?” she asked, genuinely worried for the sanity of both the Doctor and her daughter. “Do I need to go round and smack some sense into him?”
Rose tried to giggle at Jackie’s reasoning but to no avail; the tears rose quickly and were soon flowing unbidden down her cheeks. Jackie was at her side instantly, pulling her close and hugging her tight, rocking her as she had when Rose was a child.
“I don’t think I can go there anymore, Mum,” Rose eventually murmured. “It hurts too much. He hates himself so much I don’t know what to do to make him better. He ends up shouting and hurting me.”
“He doesn’t physically hurt you, does he? Cos if he does, he won’t want to worry about who he is, he won’t have a life to worry about!” Jackie fiercely interrupted Rose, looking at her intently as if checking for any telltale signs of abuse.
“No, Mum, he wouldn’t. He doesn’t realise he’s hurting me, I don’t think. He just doesn’t believe he has anything to offer me, so how on Earth can I love him? But he’s wrong, Mum, I do love him.”
“Yes,” Jackie agreed. “You love him too much. Maybe you need to stay away from him for a while, let him come to terms with himself. And then maybe he can allow you to love him.”
Jackie’s words began to make sense to Rose. She had been thinking this for a while now, but felt that if she left him alone he would think it was the final rejection. While she continued to fight for him there was every chance he would take heed and believe her. But Rose realised today that there was nothing more she could do to prove her love for the Doctor. She had nothing more to give and maybe she just needed to save herself for once. Although she hated the idea of not being with him at all, maybe she just needed to give him time and hopefully he’d come back. She nodded.
“What’s that saying, Mum? If you love someone, you’ve got to let them go…”
Rose let herself into her flat. It was quiet, too quiet. She hoped that the Doctor was still here. As she walked into the lounge, the debris from the previous day was still scattered around the room and the Doctor was curled up in a ball, seemingly sleeping. She walked over to him and gently roused him awake.
“Hello,” she said quietly as his eyes opened to meet hers. “Please don’t shout I need to talk to you.”
He nodded and sat up onto the nearby chair. Rose settled herself on the sofa, taking a deep breath.
“I want to say something to you and I need you to listen to me carefully,” she started. “You want me to leave you alone, yes?” She waited for the Doctor to look at her and nod before she went on. “Well, that’s what I’m going to do. I’ve put some money in a bank account for you; the flat and the bills are paid, so you don’t have to worry about money. Here’s your passport and driver’s licence; I’m sorry about the name, but it’s the only one Pete could think of at short notice. Here’s a mobile phone and charger.”
The Doctor opened his mouth to speak but was stopped by Rose holding her hand up. “No Doctor, just listen. I will leave you alone, because you want me to but you are not to disappear. You need to text me once a week, today, this day every week. I can let you go, but you have to promise me you’ll look after yourself and try and find yourself. And remember this, Doctor- ‘cos you are my Doctor - I love you and I will wait for you. However long it takes, please try and get back to me. Here.”
Rose handed the Doctor a large manila envelope containing his documents. She stood up and kissed him chastely on the cheek and let herself out of the flat. It was only then when she allowed the tears to flow once again.