DW Fic- Should I Stay? 1/2
Title: Should I Stay? 1/2
Author: Salimali
Rating: PG
Characters: TenII/Rose, Jackie, Pete, Ellie
Disclaimer: I don't own DW or any of its affiliated characters, I just like to play :d
Spoilers: I assume you're all familiar with Journey;s End by now.
Summary: Rose gets injured, TenII has to deal with the outcomes
Author Notes: Again, I dip my toe into the writing water. Takes place in the same verse as Meant to Be.
Thank you to the brilliant wishiknewwho who has been such a star, encouraging me, nagging me and holding my hand. :D
Thank you all for reading xx
The Doctor stormed into his office and slammed the door so hard it nearly broke off its hinges. Jane walked in behind him. He turned to shout and almost forcefully he ushered her out of the room. He was so angry he was beside himself.
“Stupid, stupid girl!” he spat out, stomping around to his desk and sitting down with a sigh, hands ruffling his hair. “Stupid, stupid girl!” He repeated the words over and over again, he poked his fingers into his hair, scraping his scalp in an effort to calm himself before the girl in question came in.
It was no good, standing up he began to pace around the room, hands firmly wedged in his pockets, muttering to himself. He glimpsed the picture of Rose, Ellie and himself on his desk and roughly slammed it down, so he couldn’t look at it anymore. “Stupid, stupid girl!” he repeated. He sat back down at the desk, its peaceful neatness mocking his mood. Rashly, he swept his arm out knocking the offending items onto the floor, papers and folders flying around the room.
Just then the door opened. He looked up sharply, about to shout at Jane again. It was Rose, looking very pale and tired in her blood-splattered clothes. She stood in the doorway, leaning against its frame for support, lifting her injured leg, taking the weight off it. He studied her appearance and as his eyes raked down her body towards the bandaged leg, his heart beating faster as he remembered the danger she had been in today.
“What?” he barked, his anger with Rose taking precedent over his concern for her well-being. “What do you want? I told you I didn’t want to see you again this afternoon. You have been stood down for the day.” Standing, he walked towards her and opened the door.
“Go home Rose.” His words were almost too quiet to be heard as he tried to stay calm. He didn’t want to shout at her, but he was so cross with her.
Rose looked at the Doctor in resignation; she sighed and walked out, slamming the door behind her.
“Bastard!” he heard her mutter. He flung open the door to find Rose standing in front of it, arms folded, ready for the fight.
“Why are you still here?” he asked, “I told you to go home.”
“And just who the bloody hell do you think you are, telling me to go home, like I’m a child?” Rose demanded, stalking back into the office, to stand against the desk.
Closing the office door before steadying himself for the first big row they’d had since they decided to make a life together, the Doctor mirrored Rose’s position against the wall.
“I am your boss,” he ground out. “You disobeyed a direct order today, I should really put you on a warning. Now go home Rose, before you or I say something we’ll regret.”
“A direct order!” Rose raised her voice. “Do you think I know nothing about field work? Just what did you think I did before? Sit at home and twiddle my thumbs?”
“Well, if you were as reckless then as you were today, it’s a wonder you were alive to be able to come and find me.” He started to pace the room again, scruffing his hair with frustration. “You could have been killed, Rose. Does your life mean nothing to you? Do Ellie and I mean so little to you? You didn’t think today, you just didn’t think of us and it makes me feel sick. Now please, just go home.”
Rose bristled at the Doctor’s accusations. She shook her head, trying to clear it of tears before speaking.
“How can you accuse me of those things? I love you and Ellie more than life itself. I knew what I was doing today.”
The Doctor interrupted, throwing his hands up into the air, annoyed that Rose couldn’t see her mistake “Oh heaven help me, Rose. You didn’t know what you were doing. I told you to stay behind the lines. I told you not to approach it. I told you. What do I have to do to get you to trust me?”
Rose, ignoring the last statement, replied, “I did know what I was doing. I’ve read the reports, Doctor, have you? Graungsk are peaceful aliens. How was I supposed to know that a female Graungsk would attack when she was pregnant?”
“Maybe if you’d listened, instead of going all ‘Rose Tyler Defender of Earth’ on me, the Graungsk would still be alive for us to ask why.” The Doctor was almost shouting again now. “And you wouldn’t be stood there covered in bruises and a twelve inch scar up your leg. You were lucky it didn’t go for your stomach, there’s no way the sonic would have saved you then.”
He turned away from Rose to stare out of the window. He hated to see Rose like this. It had been her first assignment out in the field since coming back to Torchwood, and with the Doctor as her boss. He knew that she was trying to prove herself, to whom he wasn’t so sure. She never needed to prove herself to him. But today her judgement had been wrong and it could have been so much worse than a gash on the leg. Every time he closed his eyes he could see her blood-splattered body lying crumpled on the floor. The Doctor leaned his forehead against the cold glass of the window hoping it would help his temper to cool down. He couldn’t imagine a world without Rose, once was enough; he knew that he and Ellie couldn’t live without her.
He felt a light touch to his shoulder, squeezing gently, moving down his arms to encircle him. She placed her head against his shoulder, kissing it though the cotton of his shirt. Lightly he grasped her hands in front of him and there they stood, both calming down, coming to terms with the day’s events.
He gradually became aware that the back of his shirt was wet; he turned, holding Rose tightly to his body.
“Shhhh, shhh, don’t cry. I’m sorry I shouted, please don’t cry, Rose,” he repeated into her hair. His hands rubbed up and down her back, soothing her sobs as he rocked her gently, letting her calm down and stop crying.
“You could have died today Rose,” he stated when she had quietened. “I can’t lose you again, please, I can’t. Please don’t make me live without you again.”
Rose looked up at the Doctor with disbelieving eyes,
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, hoarse from her earlier sobs, “I…”
“I know that you are good at your job, the best even. But today, Rose, when that Graungsk attacked you, I thought my life was ending. I thought, this is it; the universe is having a laugh at me again, taking away my love, my reason for living. And I thought, Rose, how am I going to tell Ellie? What would we do without you?”
The Doctor was so angry with her: she’d taken a risk today and he was petrified. He wondered if she realised as she buried her face in the Doctor’s chest and clutched him so tightly, he felt sure he’d have bruises later.
“Oh Doctor, I’m sorry, I’m really really sorry. I never ever want you to be afraid for me. I can take care of myself, honestly,” Rose said quietly but firmly.
The Doctor wrenched himself away from Rose, his eyes glittering black with anger, devoid of any other emotion, he moved to the other side of the desk and leaned into it, grasping the edges of the table, knuckles white and taught. Rose staggered under his stare, seeing an untameable anger in it, but beneath the anger she could see that the Doctor was afraid.
“Are you so stupid as to not understand what I’m saying?” he asked. “Are you so stubborn that you’d risk it all?” Bending down to retrieve the earlier discarded picture, he thrust it towards her. “This, Rose, is what you’d be destroying. This. Is that what you want? Because you,” he pointed at her, “you, are human and I, I am human, too. I don’t have a TARDIS and a fancy med bay to heal you. I have nothing but 21st Century technology, and believe me, I do not have the power to bring you back to life.”
Without letting Rose answer him, the Doctor turned away and stormed off out of the office and down the stairs.
Rose slumped down into the Doctor’s chair; she was too exhausted to chase after him. Her leg hurt, her head hurt and she was on the verge of tears again. She dialled the extension number for Pete’s office and asked him if he and Jackie could take Ellie for the night. She couldn’t allow Ellie to see her like this, and she wasn’t ready for the question- where was John? Since to be honest, she couldn’t answer it. Curling herself up into his chair, Rose leaned her head upon her knee and fell into an uneasy sleep.
It was some time later that Dr. John Noble (former Time Lord and first class idiot) walked back into his office. He noticed that it was dark now; he’d been walking around in a daze for hours, trying to calm down and understand why Rose had risked her life today. He’d realised while walking that the reason he was so cross was that he was scared of losing her and that she didn’t trust him to look after her. He didn’t know how to deal with that. He and Rose had spent ages trying to build their relationship, he’d fallen in love with Ellie, too, but now it seemed as if it was all going to fall apart, because Rose couldn’t or wouldn’t trust him to keep her safe. Sighing, he moved around the room to sit in his chair but was startled to find Rose fast asleep, looking dreadful. He was devastated to realise that in his anger and fear for her safety, he had upset her. He’d promised to not hurt her anymore, but he’d allowed his temper to take hold, he’d frightened her and then walked away. He needed to trust that Rose didn’t have a death wish, she didn’t want to leave him and Ellie, but that at times, Rose was still as jeopardy friendly as she ever was. He became conscious of the fact that he needed to talk to her carefully and apologise, maybe grovel a bit and see if they could save their relationship again.
He softly tiptoed over to Rose and tentatively moved his hand to her hair. Stroking it gently, he tried to wake her without startling her.
Her brown teary eyes blinked open,
“Doctor?” she whispered. “ You came back. I’m sorry. I won’t risk it again.”
“No, Rose, shhh now, let’s get you home, we’ll talk more then.” He carefully lifted her into his arms and carried her home.