Armed to the teeth, let the healing begin
Tonight I got the book, Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents. It's written by Nina W. Brown, Ed.D., LPC. It's about "protecting yourself, letting go of the old patterns, and building a new sense of self."
I just want a healthy productive way to cope so I don't feel and sound like I've got an anvil around my neck. I feel unhappy, sound unhappy, defeated, browbeaten; I need that to stop. During altercations, arguments, and interactions with my mom, too many times I sound like a dog, beaten one too many times. I feel my Spirit is beaten. And that is not who I am, not what I am; I'm stronger than this. I am better than this, and so is our relationship. I'm hoping this book helps me find ways to cope, to find ways and methods of pulling up my strengths and resources so I don't feel and react this way when I'm dealing with my mom. I want to learn how to see the good, and to love her without conditions, all the while protecting myself from her when she's doing her thing, either consciously or unconsciously.
That's a tall order, but I am willing to work on this, fully knowing that all the work that must be done must be done by me.
I am reminded of a church song we used to sing: "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me..."
I also purchased an audio collection of counselor and spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle. I find him quite inspiring, and I think I have a student-teacher crush on him, but that's beside the point.
So... let the healing begin. Something needs to change, and I need to take these steps, and I can't learn these steps on my own, so I'm inviting Nina Brown and Eckhart Tolle to be my guides, my teachers here. so... here I go...
I just want a healthy productive way to cope so I don't feel and sound like I've got an anvil around my neck. I feel unhappy, sound unhappy, defeated, browbeaten; I need that to stop. During altercations, arguments, and interactions with my mom, too many times I sound like a dog, beaten one too many times. I feel my Spirit is beaten. And that is not who I am, not what I am; I'm stronger than this. I am better than this, and so is our relationship. I'm hoping this book helps me find ways to cope, to find ways and methods of pulling up my strengths and resources so I don't feel and react this way when I'm dealing with my mom. I want to learn how to see the good, and to love her without conditions, all the while protecting myself from her when she's doing her thing, either consciously or unconsciously.
That's a tall order, but I am willing to work on this, fully knowing that all the work that must be done must be done by me.
I am reminded of a church song we used to sing: "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me..."
I also purchased an audio collection of counselor and spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle. I find him quite inspiring, and I think I have a student-teacher crush on him, but that's beside the point.
So... let the healing begin. Something needs to change, and I need to take these steps, and I can't learn these steps on my own, so I'm inviting Nina Brown and Eckhart Tolle to be my guides, my teachers here. so... here I go...