(no subject)
God this is awful.
Let's be honest; Something is wrong with me, I can't draw or do anything remotely productive lately and I've lost my drive. I'm going away for a while. I'm getting depressed quickly I keep self-hating and becoming incredible jealous of other people's work. I can't accept critism and act like a spoilt child when harshly judged.
I am seriously considering if I have what it takes to be an artist. I am obvisously not a happy camper right now. I'm guessing I've been put in a place, totally out of my comfort zone, thrown in a sea of professional talent while I hold up crayon drawings of a four year old in comparison talking like a toddler to scholars. This is how I feel. I feel drained, upset with my work and progress; having to push myself to exhuastion and getting no where. I am not learning anything here. The only thing I'm benefitting is anatomy which I adore so much but everything else? Nothing. I feel this is a waste and I'm angry with myself right now so if anyone feels irked what I say I'm sorry but dammit I just want some encouranging advice and help from these teachers, not saying what's wrong but what I can make right. Is that so hard?
My biggest problem is talk no action. I don't draw as much as I should, even in free time I have to force myself to do anything and this shouldn't be an issue. I should be enjoying myself. And I'm not. I need to go do some soul searching or something. Get my act together, stop being such a child, continue to support and encourage other artists/friends. Learn, practise and exercise because it's sure as hell not working where I am now.
So until then;
Hiatus