Re: I'm Sorry...dis_illusionJanuary 16 2005, 13:36:30 UTC
I'm not really sure why it is that you have so much hate for me but I know that hate is a product of fear. I feel that you fear that I am trying to pull something away from you and yours. Which I can understand but I think that you misunderstand. Many comments you have made are "don't let chris do this or that" "don't let him tell you this or that" While you tell him this and that I stay nutral as I always have. Ryan is a good friend of mine and I will have respect him no matter what choices he makes, He knows that. I've offered my advice when needed and pushed my views never. I feel if I have acted the way people have acted towards me then you would really have something to fear. I don't know what you really expect me to be. I'm not an angel that will make everthing perfect by yesterday. I'm someone who is not too far off, someone who gives out what he hopes to recieve, someone whos stands by who stands by him. I'm not at the high point in my life anymore but this is the focal point and the only place to go is up. Ryans my ninja. With a bit of work we will both be strait in 6 months and everyone will win. Right now it just seems like a battle between you and I. That is not what's important,it just hurts more than it helps. You have put a lot of work into making this situation as hard as possible. You know I'm not perfect and I don't do everything perfect but I'm not the only one to blame here. Sometimes what you win doesn't amount to what is lost.
Re: I'm Sorry...salamanderiJanuary 17 2005, 00:01:02 UTC
Ok, Chris I just don't want to fight anymore I understand what you are saying. This whole thing was blown out of proportion by ALL of us. There is not ONE person to blame or even two at that, it is on all of us because we each fed the fire in our own ways. I am just tired and I don't want to have anymore problems. You go ahead and be Ryan's friend if that's what you two need to do. I think that for now it would be better if you and I don't come too close to eachother. Just give me my time and space, as always, and perhaps we could be friends in the future. All I want is to see Ryan get somewhere in life. That is ALL I want from him. I don't want anybody bringing him down and if you are not going to do that, then by all means...be his friend. But I want your word on that. You can believe that I am afraid all you want, the only thing that scares me is that Ryan will not do anything with his life. The only way in which you are right in saying that I fear you is because I fear that by Ryan hanging out with you every night and getting drunk, that he will not prosper. He's my flesh and blood, I have to see the kid do something with himself or I am gonna go crazy over here. Besides that I have nothing to hide from you. I never have. I have always told you how I felt and whether you felt that or not, that is the truth. So take my advice and give me time and space...alot of it...and we'll see what the future brings. Take care of yourself.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment