Happy Birthday Luel :)
Happy Birthday friend!!! ♥♥
I almost missed the deadline for your birthday =O Even though I've been working on this for like a month, it still did not satisfy me. I'm still not sure..., but I won't let your day go by with absolutely nothing!
So here is a little fic I put together with you in mind
I haven't done this in so long, haha...if you also find that it's not ready yet...i'll fix it! :D
GW
Pair: 1=2
Words: 5,374
Warnings: maybe some angst?
Above him there was a jostling crowd of shadowy bodies, maybe five or six in all, vying for position. Featureless faces, with concave hollows covered by sunken skin where there should have been eyes and noses, pressed down menacingly; the faces were almost entirely eaten up by a gaping mouth. Some were red, with glistening sharp teeth and others were grey, with worn down stumps rotting in the gums. Other mouths were black, inside and out, and some were white-hot and burning. Hands snaked out from all directions above Duo, grabbing his hair, pulling his clothes, pushing against his body and grasping his limbs. Duo huddled down in the center of the mass, trying not to look up, while darting his eyes left and right, pleading for an opening somewhere in the forest of legs.
Ah, too late!
The hands descended, dragging into his skin as though it were wet clay, pulling him apart. Duo struggled and gasped, kicking and biting, but there were too many to fend off. He felt like he’d fallen overboard into a human sea and couldn’t get up for air.
“…uo!”
Duo’s conscious suddenly vaulted into wakefulness as a loudly demanding voice reached his ears.
“Duo!” the voice called again. It had a distinct layer of irritation. Heero.
Lying face up on his pillow and blinking the darkened dorm room rapidly into focus, Duo felt horrified as a stream of water escaped his eyes and slid quickly down the side of his face.
Heero’s hovering visage was there to witness it and Duo sat up with clumsy abruptness, turning his face away.
“You’re making an awful lot of noise,” Heero told him matter-of-factly, straightening up as Duo did. “Since your body requires rest you should optimize the effects of REM sleep by doing it quietly.”
Duo snorted. Since they’d met a few weeks back Heero had barely spoken to him except when forced. He didn’t even let Duo engage in small talk, but now, on the cusp of a nightmare, when Duo didn’t want anyone to see him, let alone talk to him, Heero was full of advice. He seemed very reliable that way.
The whitewashed walls of their dorm room reflected the blue of Heero’s computer monitor, but all else was dark. Duo realized Heero had probably been up working, even though the moon was halfway across the sky.
Crickets chirped in the cool night air. The clock on the night stand between their beds read 1:54. A soft, cool breeze fluttered in through the window. It was strange to see Heero awake at this time. To Duo the darkness had always been reserved for secret deeds and silent maneuvers; for things left unspoken and unanswered prayers. For being all alone.
Now, studying each others' half-shadowed faces and colorless limbs it felt like they were sharing something intimate.
A body took on more solidity in the dark, Duo thought, watching Heero’s chest expand as he breathed. The silvery outline of muscles and soft, monotone plains reflecting the moonlight, the dark crevices where definition disappeared, made skin more mysterious, more intriguing, more alluring. It was something Duo hadn’t thought much of before in a pleasant manner, but suddenly his mind was full of the reality of Heero’s body hovering over his. There was an uncomfortable expectancy in the air that Duo couldn’t place.
Heero studied Duo for a moment longer, then straightened his back and returned to his computer. “Keep it down. You’re becoming annoying.”
Duo was silent for a few minutes, hurt and relieved that he’d been left alone, but the loss of that undefined connection sent the creeping memories of Duo’s dream back into his consciousness. It was more than he wanted to analyze. He’d rather be distracted.
“Heero,” Duo ventured. “Could you sit here for a minute?” He patted the bed beside him.
Heero turned back and regarded Duo openly, finally complying without a word. Sitting carefully on the edge of Duo’s bed, dipping the mattress, Heero made no attempt to talk but simply sat, looking at Duo.
“Thanks,” Duo said. The bluish glow of the monitor was reflected in the whites of Heero’s eyes as they stared at each other.
Duo contemplated Heero’s slowly blinking form, wondering how they could have ended up together in this room, at this moment, the two of them, completely different, but with some inherent similarity that had brought them to the same moment in space and time. He wasn’t sure yet if he was glad that Heero turned out to be Heero.
“’Ro-?” Duo began to question.
“Don’t call me that.”
Duo wasn’t in the mood for a battle of wills. He admitted to himself that, while baiting Heero was probably the best form of distraction, he didn’t feel like enduring Heero’s cold rebuffs at the moment. He wanted…just to have someone be concerned for him. He was stuck with Heero, so he didn’t dream that far, but… maybe Heero could be persuaded to be a bit gentler, just for the night.
“OK, I won’t then,” Duo agreed. “But maybe in exchange you could be a little nicer.”
Heero tilted his head just slightly and regarded Duo. “I’m sitting here with you, aren’t I?”
Duo had to concede that. It seemed very unlike Heero, after all. Maybe the darkness made Heero feel freer too, just a little.
The potent combination of silence and loneliness and darkness was exactly how Duo justified his actions in the coming days, when he had more clarity. Otherwise he would not have allowed his hand to snake out from under the sheets, in search of companionship. It had been a long, long time since he’d really touched someone with the intention of gaining solace from them.
The prospect of it being with Heero made Duo’s whole body flush and a pleasant anxiety pooled into the tips of his fingers. His hand trailed slowly to Heero’s side, where it met his hip bone. Duo didn’t think that was a fair place to start, so he moved his search over until he found one of Heero’s hands held lax at his side and clasped it loosely. A small wave of heat broke over Duo’s chest.
“Duo…” Heero warned uncooperatively.
“What?” Duo asked defensively, caught up in his own rushing blood. Heero never let anything slip by, of course.
“Let go.”
“I’m not hurting anything.”
Heero simply tugged his hand away, but Duo made a grab for it and got Heero at the wrist, holding tightly, looking arch.
An irritated light in Heero’s eyes flared and he moved to stand and yank his hand away, but Duo was good at reading body movement and Heero was clearly projecting his intentions.
Duo just wanted a little human warmth. He didn’t think it was too much to ask. Heero needed to lighten up. Instead of letting Heero retreat, Duo sat up and threw his arms forcefully around Heero’s shoulders, looking with admonishment into Heero’s face.
“Come on, ‘Ro. Just be friendly for half a second.”
Heero scowled at Duo darkly.
Duo’s brow was contorting in disappointment when Heero grabbed his arms, twisting them first up and then down so that Duo was pinned to the mattress, his hands above his head.
“Don’t call me that,” Heero ordered.
Heero had sported a triumphant arched eyebrow in the first moment of capturing Duo, but his expression changed quickly when he realized Duo’s eyes were wide and panicked and his breathing was ragged. Heero recognized a fight building in Duo’s muscles and he started to let go, but Duo was faster and kicked him soundly in the kidney.
The two broke apart, Duo retreating to the far side of the bed, his nightmare still raw, and Heero standing and backing up, unconsciously adopting a fighting stance.
They stared at each other for perhaps a few seconds and then Heero turned abruptly on his heel and sat heavily at his computer screen.
“Go back to sleep,” he suggested loftily. “And this time be quiet.”
As Heero’s fingers began to fly rhythmically over the keyboard Duo took a few deep breaths, staring at Heero’s rigid backside. ‘It’s okay,’ he told himself, hugging his arms. He watched the shoulder blades move slightly underneath Heero’s thin t-shirt, and watched the shadows from the window play on his perfectly postured back. ‘With Heero it’s safe, no matter what,’ Duo reminded himself. He had little evidence to prove that reassuring statement, but he’d never felt anything to be as certain as the safety in trusting Heero Yuy.
The keyboard continued to clack and the clouds rolled by as the moon faded in and out. The room was cold, Duo realized. He couldn’t believe Heero was sitting there in a t-shirt and boxers. Exposed, really. Much too exposed…Duo hugged his knees to his chest and wrapped the thin blanket around his body. He closed his eyes and tried not to feel the cruel, whispery fingers of memory pulling at him, grazing his skin. He focused on Heero’s form, on it’s solidity, and the way it looked so righteously menacing from behind as he faced down his computer. It made Duo smile.
“Heero?” he called softly.
Without turning Heero asked, “What?”
Duo bit the inside of his lip. “Could you come back here? Sorry I kicked you.”
Heero shook his head, still focused on the screen. “I gave you your half-second.”
His eyebrows drawing together in frustration, Duo let out an irritated breath. “Heero, come on! I’m asking you for a little companionship here! Can’t you just be a pal and sit for a while?”
Finally, Heero looked at him. His body turned halfway, with one foot out from under the desk and his arm resting on the back of the chair. “What for?” Heero asked suspiciously.
“’Cause I’m lonely,” he said with defensive fierceness. “Don’t you ever get lonely?”
Heero shook his head. “Not really.”
Duo managed to crack a small smile. “That’s a lie, Yuy.”
Heero shrugged, regarding Duo seriously. “I don’t have anyone to be lonely for. Isn’t that the only way you can be lonely? If you’re missing someone?”
It was Duo’s turn to shake his head. “No. You can just feel lonely because you’re alone.”
Heero digested that and nodded. “I see. But you’re not alone,” he pointed out.
“But you won’t sit with me,” Duo said honestly, not caring to discuss metaphorical solitude with Heero.
Heero hesitated. Duo saw the tightening in his calf muscles that signaled he was about to stand halt in mid-contraction. A few breaths eased into the stillness as Heero decided and then the muscles contracted again and Heero stood. He walked to the bedside and sat down, looking at Duo for further instruction.
“Thanks,” Duo smiled slightly.
Heero nodded. In the monitor-light, the two boys sat staring at each other, one softly and the other directly. They sat motionless until the standby mode of the laptop kicked in and the room was plunged into real darkness, with only the far off moon for light.
In that new, darker darkness, Duo felt safer and more frightened by turns. Heero’s outline was still and silent next to him, but the hands and horrible mouths from his dream were there too, in the inky spaces between the furniture. He’d given up being afraid of the dark, but memories were different and didn’t fade with the sun or grow with the moon. They were just always there.
Without thinking about it, Duo’s hand sought Heero’s one more time and this time Heero didn’t pull away as their fingers gently met and Duo’s touch ghosted over his skin. Duo let his hand fall fully over Heero’s after a moment. Neither spoke.
For a long time Duo focused on the sensation of someone else’s skin at his fingertips, and the heat that came off that skin. It had been a long time since he’d felt it.
Heero’s fingers never moved, not even a twitch and Duo became fascinated by the stillness in Heero, his ability to be patient, and quiet, and unquestioning, things which Duo wouldn’t grant himself credit for in any case.
He let his own fingers wander a little further than the top of Heero’s hand, inching onto his wrist and then wrapping under, so he had Heero’s whole hand gripped in his. It was warm and heavy. Duo liked the feel of being palm to palm with Heero. He laced their fingers together in order to fully press those palms together.
Heero let Duo explore without protest. Only his eyes moved as he followed Duo’s hand on its short journey.
Duo enjoyed the contact with Heero for a long, quiet interval. He closed his eyes and opened them only occasionally, to look at Heero for a brief second, confirming his location and his realness, despite the obvious evidence of his hand clasped in Duo’s.
After a long time of Duo not opening his eyes, Heero assumed he’d fallen asleep, and began to gently extricate himself from Duo’s grasp. When he was almost free Duo’s eyes opened halfway and he smiled a sleepy, soft smile.
“Thanks Heero,” he whispered.
Heero nodded and Duo closed his eyes again.
Heero sat back at the desk and moved the mouse to bring the computer back on. The glare of the screen suddenly seemed harsh in the peacefully dark room. With his eyes narrowed against the light, Heero saved the programs he’d had open and began systematically encrypting them and securing his files. Then he shut down the machine and made his way to his own small bed in the corner, across from Duo’s. He could hear Duo breathing, his mouth slightly open from the sound of it.
Under the cool, standard, dorm-issue sheets, Heero closed his eyes and regulated his breathing to a slow, steady rhythm designed to manufacture sleep.
But he lay awake for a long time. Flat on his back, Heero finally gave in to what was keeping him awake and turned his head to look at his room mate. Duo was curled on his side, an arm wrapped around a lumpy pillow that was held against his chest. In the moonlight Heero could see that Duo’s face, which had been smooth and untroubled for a quarter of an hour after Duo had whispered his thanks, was slowly tightening into something disturbed. He’d been making small, restless movements at increasingly short intervals.
“Duo,” Heero called steadily from across the gap. “Wake up.”
Duo’s lips twitched, as if he were yelling out in some other world.
“Duo,” Heero said more firmly, half rising from the bed. He waited, hoping Duo’s features would relax. A few seconds passed with no movement from the boy and Heero sunk back a little into the bed.
“Ha- agh!” Duo’s body convulsed and he moaned suddenly, as if he were lifting a heavy object.
Heero left his own bed quickly and bent over Duo to say sharply in his ear, “Wake up right now, Duo.”
Duo’s eyes popped open, his fists contracted and he absorbed the sight of Heero, who had abruptly straightened up, not wanting to hover over a dangerous fighter.
They regarded each other for the space of time it took Duo to take in his complete surroundings.
Then Heero said, “What’s wrong with you?”
Duo blinked. He let himself laugh at Heero’s earnest question, feeling better, just like that.
“Come closer,” Duo ordered when he’d laughed enough, lifting a hand and beckoning Heero to lean down.
Heero complied. Slowly, Duo set his lips against Heero’s ear and said deliberately, “I have a good memory that’s full of bad memories.”
Heero did not straighten immediately after Duo eased his mouth away. He remained bent at the waist for a few seconds, seemingly contemplating Duo’s answer.
The mattress dipped as Heero sat down where he had before. He looked at Duo’s large, darkened eyes. He looked slightly unreal in the shadows, Heero thought. Eyes too large, mouth too mobile, cheek bones too sharp. Heero thought that if Duo had razor-like, pointy teeth they’d look appropriate in this blue-black gloom, other worldly enough to explain Duo altogether.
“Bad memories…” Heero repeated thoughtfully. “That’s why you can’t sleep?”
Duo shrugged from where he lay against the headboard. “Guess so.”
“I rarely dream,” Heero confessed plainly, with an underlying current of apology in his voice.
“Oh,” Duo said. “How do you manage that?”
Heero shrugged one well-shaped arm. “I’ve never dreamt that much. Only occasionally.”
“What do you dream then?” Duo wanted to know.
“Nothing important,” Heero said simply.
“But what?” Duo pressed.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“But just, what is it?”
“Fields of flowers,” Heero replied sharply, agitated. He gave Duo a hard look that signaled the conversation was through and stood.
Duo huffed in the darkness. “Congratulations. Sarcasm.” He said it more to himself, but he knew Heero heard him.
“Goodnight Duo. Stop keeping me awake.”
Heero climbed back into bed. He lay stiff and unmoving, waiting for Duo to fall back to sleep and stillness to reclaim the room.
But Duo tossed and turned. He kept his mouth shut, but he couldn’t will himself into a restful state. He turned on his side away from Heero and stared wide-eyed at the wall, wondering why Heero was so easy to offend. He seemed so socio-pathically unemotional and then you said one wrong thing, that you could never guess would be wrong, and Heero closed off. He sighed a little above a whisper and let his finger trace the patterns of the spidery plaster cracks in the wall.
“Duo?” Heero’s voice crept across the room.
“Don’t tell me to be quiet,” Duo warned. “I barely made a noise.”
“Why did you liberate me from the Alliance Hospital?” Heero asked bluntly.
Duo let himself smirk mirthlessly in the dark. “Why not?”
“I’m asking a serious question and I expect a serious answer.”
“I don’t know why,” Duo replied honestly and a little heatedly. “I just wanted to.”
“If I were captured tomorrow, would you try to rescue me again?” Heero asked.
“I don’t know,” Duo said again. There was a long pause. “Most likely.”
“That probably wouldn’t be wise,” Heero admonished levelly.
Duo chuckled. “Don’t talk your saviors out of saving you,” he cautioned. “Someday you may need me.”
“Why would you do it?” Heero insisted.
“Anyone with eyes can see that you’re important. The colonies need you and if I can help you to succeed, then we both win.”
“Would you expect me to rescue you?”
“Nah,” Duo said softly.
In the dark, Heero frowned. “Why not?”
Duo couldn’t bring himself to explain that he didn’t need rescuing from some OZ ship or some Leo battle; Heero would barely sit with him in a dorm room when he wanted him to.
“Why not?” Heero asked again.
“It wouldn’t be wise.” Duo snapped, feeding Heero his own reasoning.
“True,” Heero agreed, looking over at Duo. “Don’t wait for me, in that case.”
Duo laughed.
+++
Duo touched the raw, exposed, wet scab on his lip. It hurt to touch it but he couldn’t stop feeling it. It was puffy and made his face feel uneven. He’d stopped running his finger down his broken nose bone hours ago, the pain real enough to dissuade him, but he needed something to distract himself from the overall ache and heaviness of his body. The cell was dark, damp and smelled very much like his childhood, which made it unbearable. He was hungry and cold and most of all, he was very lonely.
A scuffle in the hallway told him he’d better sit up straight before the boots walked in and found him looking like a broken doll.
The door slid back and Duo blinked in the bright light. There was only one this time and Duo considered overpowering him and making a run for it, wondering how far he could get.
Instead, Heero’s gun between his eyes was a welcome sight after so many days in the tragically static cell.
But Heero’s hand under his elbow was more welcome still.
In the small room Heero had secured for Duo, they watched each other. Heero sat in the one chair and Duo lay on the bed. All his muscles ached, but he felt good watching Heero.
“You were wrong,” Heero’s voice said quietly into the little room.
Duo closed his eyes and let go a small smile. “I said I wouldn’t expect you. Not that you wouldn’t come.”
“I came,” Heero confirmed.
“Yeah,” Duo agreed. “I wasn’t waiting though. Just so we’re clear.”
Duo was gratified to hear a small chuckle escape Heero’s throat. “I know.”
“Yeah,” Duo said again. The easy silence stretched on and Duo’s eyes slid and stayed closed as Heero watched him.
“Thanks, Heero,” Duo said quietly, sparking a memory in Heero’s mind of warm hands and cool sheets and the scent of the ocean close by, months and months ago, before all of this got so deep.
“Duo?” Heero wondered, but only got an indistinct hum from the boy on the bed. He got up quietly from the chair and removed his jeans and jacket, placing them nearby. He crept to the bedside and looked at Duo’s face, marred by cuts and bandages, but relaxed in sleep.
“Fields and fields of yellow flowers,” Heero whispered into Duo’s ear, letting his mouth momentarily graze the translucent skin. “That’s what I dream.”
Duo woke alone, but the foam mattress was warm and indented next to him. His lips lifted in the slightest delineation of hopefulness. He sat on the bed, dozing on and off until late afternoon, when the door to the little room opened and Heero walked through, full of admonishments and advice on recuperating here away from the fighting. Duo let Heero believe he was listening to him and taking him seriously, but he was doing no such thing.
+++
Duo found Heero sitting in the large observation bay of Peacemillion.
He approached Heero casually, as the other boy watched him. “I lost count,” he admitted. “Are we even?”
Heero regarded him calmly. “I lost count too.”
Duo grinned. “You’re a bad liar, hey.”
“I’m an expert liar,” Heero disagreed mildly. “But I don’t think it matters now what the count is.”
Duo nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets, still grinning. “Okay, let’s call it even,” he offered. “You saved me, I saved you, times twelve or so, and we’ll just stop counting there.”
“Okay,” Heero agreed, returning the smile in a smaller way.
“But don’t stop saving me if I need it,” Duo ordered. “We’ve gotten far and I want to play ‘til the end.”
Heero smirked. “Understood.”
Duo’s face grew serious for a moment. “And the end is coming, isn’t it? All this, it led to here. I know it.”
Heero regarded Duo with an immovable expression and finally nodded once. “It’s almost over.”
Duo looked penetratingly at Heero. “But listen,” he began, his voice uncharacteristically earnest and stern. “Not everything ends, you got it?” He looked significantly into Heero’s eyes.
Heero stared back wordlessly until the silence was filled with his gaze.
“Anyway,” Duo said, stretching his arms above his head. “I was gonna catch some shut eye.”
“Okay.”
“Are you going to sleep soon?”
“Probably.”
“’Kay,” Duo answered. “See you in there.” He turned on his heel with a parting smile and walked down the hall to the bunks. He walked slowly, undressed slowly, lingered over brushing his teeth and finally climbed into the narrow bunk nailed to the floor in the small cabin. But Heero never came to the bunk opposite his own and Duo felt paralyzed in the silence.
+++
Duo watched Heero as he slept lightly in the pilot’s chair next to him. In a few hours they’d rendezvous with the others and try to somehow topple Dekim Barton’s little-girl-dictator and get the Peacecraft girl back alive. But for now, he could let his eyes trace the curve of Heero’s cheek and the straight line of his nose.
“What?” came Heero’s voice, though his eyes were closed.
Duo realized he’d been caught watching. “Nothing,” he said lightly. “Just admiring your nose bone.”
Heero’s eyes opened then and an eyebrow lifted, asking the question by itself.
“Mine is all crooked now,” Duo sighed, rubbing his finger over his own, once-broken nose.
“Barely,” Heero disagreed. “There’s only a slight bump.”
Duo smiled. “Yours is straight.”
“It hardly matters,” Heero shrugged.
“I like straight nose bones,” Duo announced simply. “Mine’s not as fun to trace now.”
Heero looked at him and quirked another inquisitive eyebrow.
“Try it,” Duo commanded, pointing to his nose.
Heero hesitated a little longer than polite and then, when Duo didn’t retract the order, tentatively ran his forefinger down the line of Duo’s nose.
“Very unpleasant,” Heero assessed and let Duo push him lightly on the side of the head.
He was unprepared for Duo’s forefinger to invade his personal space and plant itself firmly on the bridge of his nose and slide down to the tip, hopping off at the end in a little upward curve. Duo smiled, then looked away.
“I missed you,” Duo said, gazing through the windshield of the ship.
Heero looked over at Duo, and when he didn’t look back, allowed himself a small, touched smile.
+++
“-ero?”
Heero heard voices echoing faintly, as if they were in a tunnel, far away. He looked around, but there was only darkness. The voices-no there was only one, it was just bouncing off the walls-still called and he felt he ought to move towards it.
“Heero? Hey, Yuy!”
Heero’s eyes blinked open. The room was dark, but a good amount of light was streaming in from a harsh florescent panel in the hallway.
“Hospital,” a voice explained. “Don’t worry,” it went on and proved to have Duo’s accent. “It’s safe. The blonde woman’s taking care of you. You collapsed, you know.”
Heero took a deep breath and pushed himself into a sitting position. Duo pressed a glass of water with a pink straw into his hand.
“Here. You’ve been out for about a day, I guess. Your scans all look normal, I hear.”
Heero nodded. He remembered pointing the gun and the little girl running in front of the bullet. It was true, after all, he remembered thinking. She was just a little girl.
“The general belief on the floor is that you were suffering from exhaustion,” Duo explained, the look on his face saying how unimpressive he thought the doctors were, to have figured out what was so obvious.
“I haven’t been sleeping well,” Heero admitted.
Duo studied Heero thoughtfully. “Sorry I woke you,” he apologized. “I just wanted to see for myself that you were okay before I take off.”
“Where are you going?”
Duo crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “Hilde asked me to work in her scrap yard again.”
“You’re going to?” Heero questioned. He didn’t feel fully conscious but his eyes had brought everything into focus finally.
Duo shrugged and smiled a familiar smile. “Yeah. At least for a bit. What else am I gonna do? It’s all over.” He looked at Heero very searchingly.
“We thought it was over last time,” Heero ventured.
Duo shook his head. “This time it’s really over. We’re gonna…we’re sending the Gundams back to chaos. Our part is done.”
“Our part?” Heero wondered with peculiar emphasis.
Duo looked confused for a moment and then shrugged. “Yeah. I don’t want to fight anymore. I did it because I had to at the time and because I had a purpose to fulfill. It’s fulfilled. I’m not a career soldier.”
Heero nodded, understanding. “When are you leaving?”
“In a few days,” Duo replied. “But I’m going with Trowa and Quatre to rechristen my buddy as an innocent nothing.”
“I won’t destroy Wing,” Heero replied fervently.
Duo smiled and shrugged. “That’s your call, Heero.”
“Do you think I should?”
Duo nodded. “Yes. I know you like to be prepared, but this battle is political now and that’s how it’s got to stay.”
Heero closed his eyes and smiled.
+++
Heero listened to the frogs chirruping in the dewy grass outside as he lay in bed. The clock recorded the breathless hour of 3:34 am. He inhaled deeply and was surprised when a sigh escaped his lips. The kingdom of Sanq was silent around him, as usual. The mattress was soft, maybe too soft, but the sheets were cool and light and smelled fresh. The ceiling above him was the backdrop for memories that surfaced and flickered, some lingering, some just flashes of a moment, pieces of larger scenes, that wouldn’t let him sleep. He sighed again.
“Oh good, you’re awake.”
Heero sat up abruptly, but his mind already recognized the voice attached to the shadow that crept through the doorway and he relaxed his murderous instincts.
“Don’t appear out of nowhere like that,” Heero scolded.
“That’s the opposite of what I wanted all this time,” Duo said simply. “But you never showed up. So I thought I had better come to you.”
Heero remained silent and Duo motioned to his bed tucked into the corner so snugly. “Can I sit down?”
“There are chairs,” Heero replied.
Duo smiled and sat down on the bed. “I can’t sleep either,” he confessed. “I have nightmares.”
Heero looked steadily at Duo, so suddenly real in his room.
“How’d you get past all the security?”
“That’s a trade secret,” Duo said, a soft, teasing smile on his lips. “But I’ll admit it wasn’t easy.”
“You should tell me so I can correct any flaws.”
“Heero,” Duo said, his voice suddenly heavy in the quiet. “I’m tired.”
Heero regarded Duo for a brief moment and then shifted his body to the far side of the mattress.
Duo let one corner of his mouth lift. He kicked off his shoes and was out of his jacket and pants quickly and easily. He laid back, his head on Heero’s pillow and Heero looking down at him.
“Thanks, Heero.”
“Duo.”
“Hm?”
“Your nose is just fine.”
Duo laughed. “Thanks.”
Heero was quiet for a moment and then he eased himself back under the sheet and rested his head on the mattress, since Duo had the pillow.
“Why’d you come here so late?”
“This flight was the cheapest,” Duo explained simply around a yawn. In the silence following his answer Duo smiled. “And the soonest.”
“Oh,” Heero said.
Duo opened his eyes and found Heero staring at him. His eyes looked even more intense in the dark; an unquiet stare.
“Heero,” Duo breathed openly, something unspoken attached.
Heero didn’t respond but he continued to look at Duo, slowly moving his face closer to where the pillow and the tip of Duo’s nose began.
Duo watched him.
In the dark, of their own volition, Heero’s hesitant fingertips found Duo’s shoulder. He let them wisp over the familiar curve for a moment before sliding carefully down to Duo’s neck, and tentatively touching the smooth, soft skin there.
“Duo,” Heero said, the slightest hint of a question in the name.
Duo pressed their mouths together. Heero let him.
A quiet, still moment passed and a slight breeze blew in from the window.
Pulling away softly, Heero looked into Duo’s face. “Why’d you come here so late?” he repeated gently.
Duo smiled, a slow wave of warmth spreading over his face. “I didn’t know I was supposed to come sooner.”
Heero blinked soberly. “You said someday I might need you. I thought you would know when.”
Duo was bold enough to carefully run his fingers through Heero’s bangs.
“I know now,” he said happily.
“Good,” Heero said. “Stay?”
Duo agreed with a nod. “OK.”
The corners of Heero’s mouth lifted slightly higher than they normally would have. Duo was happy to watch the shadows dip into the curves that smile produced.
With his normal efficiency Heero tugged the pillow just enough from under Duo’s head that they could share. He found Duo’s hand without fanfare and laced their fingers together.
“Goodnight Duo,” he said breathily.
“’Night, ‘Ro,” Duo replied.
“Don’t call me that,” Heero said softly, without any conviction.
~end~
I almost missed the deadline for your birthday =O Even though I've been working on this for like a month, it still did not satisfy me. I'm still not sure..., but I won't let your day go by with absolutely nothing!
So here is a little fic I put together with you in mind
I haven't done this in so long, haha...if you also find that it's not ready yet...i'll fix it! :D
GW
Pair: 1=2
Words: 5,374
Warnings: maybe some angst?
Above him there was a jostling crowd of shadowy bodies, maybe five or six in all, vying for position. Featureless faces, with concave hollows covered by sunken skin where there should have been eyes and noses, pressed down menacingly; the faces were almost entirely eaten up by a gaping mouth. Some were red, with glistening sharp teeth and others were grey, with worn down stumps rotting in the gums. Other mouths were black, inside and out, and some were white-hot and burning. Hands snaked out from all directions above Duo, grabbing his hair, pulling his clothes, pushing against his body and grasping his limbs. Duo huddled down in the center of the mass, trying not to look up, while darting his eyes left and right, pleading for an opening somewhere in the forest of legs.
Ah, too late!
The hands descended, dragging into his skin as though it were wet clay, pulling him apart. Duo struggled and gasped, kicking and biting, but there were too many to fend off. He felt like he’d fallen overboard into a human sea and couldn’t get up for air.
“…uo!”
Duo’s conscious suddenly vaulted into wakefulness as a loudly demanding voice reached his ears.
“Duo!” the voice called again. It had a distinct layer of irritation. Heero.
Lying face up on his pillow and blinking the darkened dorm room rapidly into focus, Duo felt horrified as a stream of water escaped his eyes and slid quickly down the side of his face.
Heero’s hovering visage was there to witness it and Duo sat up with clumsy abruptness, turning his face away.
“You’re making an awful lot of noise,” Heero told him matter-of-factly, straightening up as Duo did. “Since your body requires rest you should optimize the effects of REM sleep by doing it quietly.”
Duo snorted. Since they’d met a few weeks back Heero had barely spoken to him except when forced. He didn’t even let Duo engage in small talk, but now, on the cusp of a nightmare, when Duo didn’t want anyone to see him, let alone talk to him, Heero was full of advice. He seemed very reliable that way.
The whitewashed walls of their dorm room reflected the blue of Heero’s computer monitor, but all else was dark. Duo realized Heero had probably been up working, even though the moon was halfway across the sky.
Crickets chirped in the cool night air. The clock on the night stand between their beds read 1:54. A soft, cool breeze fluttered in through the window. It was strange to see Heero awake at this time. To Duo the darkness had always been reserved for secret deeds and silent maneuvers; for things left unspoken and unanswered prayers. For being all alone.
Now, studying each others' half-shadowed faces and colorless limbs it felt like they were sharing something intimate.
A body took on more solidity in the dark, Duo thought, watching Heero’s chest expand as he breathed. The silvery outline of muscles and soft, monotone plains reflecting the moonlight, the dark crevices where definition disappeared, made skin more mysterious, more intriguing, more alluring. It was something Duo hadn’t thought much of before in a pleasant manner, but suddenly his mind was full of the reality of Heero’s body hovering over his. There was an uncomfortable expectancy in the air that Duo couldn’t place.
Heero studied Duo for a moment longer, then straightened his back and returned to his computer. “Keep it down. You’re becoming annoying.”
Duo was silent for a few minutes, hurt and relieved that he’d been left alone, but the loss of that undefined connection sent the creeping memories of Duo’s dream back into his consciousness. It was more than he wanted to analyze. He’d rather be distracted.
“Heero,” Duo ventured. “Could you sit here for a minute?” He patted the bed beside him.
Heero turned back and regarded Duo openly, finally complying without a word. Sitting carefully on the edge of Duo’s bed, dipping the mattress, Heero made no attempt to talk but simply sat, looking at Duo.
“Thanks,” Duo said. The bluish glow of the monitor was reflected in the whites of Heero’s eyes as they stared at each other.
Duo contemplated Heero’s slowly blinking form, wondering how they could have ended up together in this room, at this moment, the two of them, completely different, but with some inherent similarity that had brought them to the same moment in space and time. He wasn’t sure yet if he was glad that Heero turned out to be Heero.
“’Ro-?” Duo began to question.
“Don’t call me that.”
Duo wasn’t in the mood for a battle of wills. He admitted to himself that, while baiting Heero was probably the best form of distraction, he didn’t feel like enduring Heero’s cold rebuffs at the moment. He wanted…just to have someone be concerned for him. He was stuck with Heero, so he didn’t dream that far, but… maybe Heero could be persuaded to be a bit gentler, just for the night.
“OK, I won’t then,” Duo agreed. “But maybe in exchange you could be a little nicer.”
Heero tilted his head just slightly and regarded Duo. “I’m sitting here with you, aren’t I?”
Duo had to concede that. It seemed very unlike Heero, after all. Maybe the darkness made Heero feel freer too, just a little.
The potent combination of silence and loneliness and darkness was exactly how Duo justified his actions in the coming days, when he had more clarity. Otherwise he would not have allowed his hand to snake out from under the sheets, in search of companionship. It had been a long, long time since he’d really touched someone with the intention of gaining solace from them.
The prospect of it being with Heero made Duo’s whole body flush and a pleasant anxiety pooled into the tips of his fingers. His hand trailed slowly to Heero’s side, where it met his hip bone. Duo didn’t think that was a fair place to start, so he moved his search over until he found one of Heero’s hands held lax at his side and clasped it loosely. A small wave of heat broke over Duo’s chest.
“Duo…” Heero warned uncooperatively.
“What?” Duo asked defensively, caught up in his own rushing blood. Heero never let anything slip by, of course.
“Let go.”
“I’m not hurting anything.”
Heero simply tugged his hand away, but Duo made a grab for it and got Heero at the wrist, holding tightly, looking arch.
An irritated light in Heero’s eyes flared and he moved to stand and yank his hand away, but Duo was good at reading body movement and Heero was clearly projecting his intentions.
Duo just wanted a little human warmth. He didn’t think it was too much to ask. Heero needed to lighten up. Instead of letting Heero retreat, Duo sat up and threw his arms forcefully around Heero’s shoulders, looking with admonishment into Heero’s face.
“Come on, ‘Ro. Just be friendly for half a second.”
Heero scowled at Duo darkly.
Duo’s brow was contorting in disappointment when Heero grabbed his arms, twisting them first up and then down so that Duo was pinned to the mattress, his hands above his head.
“Don’t call me that,” Heero ordered.
Heero had sported a triumphant arched eyebrow in the first moment of capturing Duo, but his expression changed quickly when he realized Duo’s eyes were wide and panicked and his breathing was ragged. Heero recognized a fight building in Duo’s muscles and he started to let go, but Duo was faster and kicked him soundly in the kidney.
The two broke apart, Duo retreating to the far side of the bed, his nightmare still raw, and Heero standing and backing up, unconsciously adopting a fighting stance.
They stared at each other for perhaps a few seconds and then Heero turned abruptly on his heel and sat heavily at his computer screen.
“Go back to sleep,” he suggested loftily. “And this time be quiet.”
As Heero’s fingers began to fly rhythmically over the keyboard Duo took a few deep breaths, staring at Heero’s rigid backside. ‘It’s okay,’ he told himself, hugging his arms. He watched the shoulder blades move slightly underneath Heero’s thin t-shirt, and watched the shadows from the window play on his perfectly postured back. ‘With Heero it’s safe, no matter what,’ Duo reminded himself. He had little evidence to prove that reassuring statement, but he’d never felt anything to be as certain as the safety in trusting Heero Yuy.
The keyboard continued to clack and the clouds rolled by as the moon faded in and out. The room was cold, Duo realized. He couldn’t believe Heero was sitting there in a t-shirt and boxers. Exposed, really. Much too exposed…Duo hugged his knees to his chest and wrapped the thin blanket around his body. He closed his eyes and tried not to feel the cruel, whispery fingers of memory pulling at him, grazing his skin. He focused on Heero’s form, on it’s solidity, and the way it looked so righteously menacing from behind as he faced down his computer. It made Duo smile.
“Heero?” he called softly.
Without turning Heero asked, “What?”
Duo bit the inside of his lip. “Could you come back here? Sorry I kicked you.”
Heero shook his head, still focused on the screen. “I gave you your half-second.”
His eyebrows drawing together in frustration, Duo let out an irritated breath. “Heero, come on! I’m asking you for a little companionship here! Can’t you just be a pal and sit for a while?”
Finally, Heero looked at him. His body turned halfway, with one foot out from under the desk and his arm resting on the back of the chair. “What for?” Heero asked suspiciously.
“’Cause I’m lonely,” he said with defensive fierceness. “Don’t you ever get lonely?”
Heero shook his head. “Not really.”
Duo managed to crack a small smile. “That’s a lie, Yuy.”
Heero shrugged, regarding Duo seriously. “I don’t have anyone to be lonely for. Isn’t that the only way you can be lonely? If you’re missing someone?”
It was Duo’s turn to shake his head. “No. You can just feel lonely because you’re alone.”
Heero digested that and nodded. “I see. But you’re not alone,” he pointed out.
“But you won’t sit with me,” Duo said honestly, not caring to discuss metaphorical solitude with Heero.
Heero hesitated. Duo saw the tightening in his calf muscles that signaled he was about to stand halt in mid-contraction. A few breaths eased into the stillness as Heero decided and then the muscles contracted again and Heero stood. He walked to the bedside and sat down, looking at Duo for further instruction.
“Thanks,” Duo smiled slightly.
Heero nodded. In the monitor-light, the two boys sat staring at each other, one softly and the other directly. They sat motionless until the standby mode of the laptop kicked in and the room was plunged into real darkness, with only the far off moon for light.
In that new, darker darkness, Duo felt safer and more frightened by turns. Heero’s outline was still and silent next to him, but the hands and horrible mouths from his dream were there too, in the inky spaces between the furniture. He’d given up being afraid of the dark, but memories were different and didn’t fade with the sun or grow with the moon. They were just always there.
Without thinking about it, Duo’s hand sought Heero’s one more time and this time Heero didn’t pull away as their fingers gently met and Duo’s touch ghosted over his skin. Duo let his hand fall fully over Heero’s after a moment. Neither spoke.
For a long time Duo focused on the sensation of someone else’s skin at his fingertips, and the heat that came off that skin. It had been a long time since he’d felt it.
Heero’s fingers never moved, not even a twitch and Duo became fascinated by the stillness in Heero, his ability to be patient, and quiet, and unquestioning, things which Duo wouldn’t grant himself credit for in any case.
He let his own fingers wander a little further than the top of Heero’s hand, inching onto his wrist and then wrapping under, so he had Heero’s whole hand gripped in his. It was warm and heavy. Duo liked the feel of being palm to palm with Heero. He laced their fingers together in order to fully press those palms together.
Heero let Duo explore without protest. Only his eyes moved as he followed Duo’s hand on its short journey.
Duo enjoyed the contact with Heero for a long, quiet interval. He closed his eyes and opened them only occasionally, to look at Heero for a brief second, confirming his location and his realness, despite the obvious evidence of his hand clasped in Duo’s.
After a long time of Duo not opening his eyes, Heero assumed he’d fallen asleep, and began to gently extricate himself from Duo’s grasp. When he was almost free Duo’s eyes opened halfway and he smiled a sleepy, soft smile.
“Thanks Heero,” he whispered.
Heero nodded and Duo closed his eyes again.
Heero sat back at the desk and moved the mouse to bring the computer back on. The glare of the screen suddenly seemed harsh in the peacefully dark room. With his eyes narrowed against the light, Heero saved the programs he’d had open and began systematically encrypting them and securing his files. Then he shut down the machine and made his way to his own small bed in the corner, across from Duo’s. He could hear Duo breathing, his mouth slightly open from the sound of it.
Under the cool, standard, dorm-issue sheets, Heero closed his eyes and regulated his breathing to a slow, steady rhythm designed to manufacture sleep.
But he lay awake for a long time. Flat on his back, Heero finally gave in to what was keeping him awake and turned his head to look at his room mate. Duo was curled on his side, an arm wrapped around a lumpy pillow that was held against his chest. In the moonlight Heero could see that Duo’s face, which had been smooth and untroubled for a quarter of an hour after Duo had whispered his thanks, was slowly tightening into something disturbed. He’d been making small, restless movements at increasingly short intervals.
“Duo,” Heero called steadily from across the gap. “Wake up.”
Duo’s lips twitched, as if he were yelling out in some other world.
“Duo,” Heero said more firmly, half rising from the bed. He waited, hoping Duo’s features would relax. A few seconds passed with no movement from the boy and Heero sunk back a little into the bed.
“Ha- agh!” Duo’s body convulsed and he moaned suddenly, as if he were lifting a heavy object.
Heero left his own bed quickly and bent over Duo to say sharply in his ear, “Wake up right now, Duo.”
Duo’s eyes popped open, his fists contracted and he absorbed the sight of Heero, who had abruptly straightened up, not wanting to hover over a dangerous fighter.
They regarded each other for the space of time it took Duo to take in his complete surroundings.
Then Heero said, “What’s wrong with you?”
Duo blinked. He let himself laugh at Heero’s earnest question, feeling better, just like that.
“Come closer,” Duo ordered when he’d laughed enough, lifting a hand and beckoning Heero to lean down.
Heero complied. Slowly, Duo set his lips against Heero’s ear and said deliberately, “I have a good memory that’s full of bad memories.”
Heero did not straighten immediately after Duo eased his mouth away. He remained bent at the waist for a few seconds, seemingly contemplating Duo’s answer.
The mattress dipped as Heero sat down where he had before. He looked at Duo’s large, darkened eyes. He looked slightly unreal in the shadows, Heero thought. Eyes too large, mouth too mobile, cheek bones too sharp. Heero thought that if Duo had razor-like, pointy teeth they’d look appropriate in this blue-black gloom, other worldly enough to explain Duo altogether.
“Bad memories…” Heero repeated thoughtfully. “That’s why you can’t sleep?”
Duo shrugged from where he lay against the headboard. “Guess so.”
“I rarely dream,” Heero confessed plainly, with an underlying current of apology in his voice.
“Oh,” Duo said. “How do you manage that?”
Heero shrugged one well-shaped arm. “I’ve never dreamt that much. Only occasionally.”
“What do you dream then?” Duo wanted to know.
“Nothing important,” Heero said simply.
“But what?” Duo pressed.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“But just, what is it?”
“Fields of flowers,” Heero replied sharply, agitated. He gave Duo a hard look that signaled the conversation was through and stood.
Duo huffed in the darkness. “Congratulations. Sarcasm.” He said it more to himself, but he knew Heero heard him.
“Goodnight Duo. Stop keeping me awake.”
Heero climbed back into bed. He lay stiff and unmoving, waiting for Duo to fall back to sleep and stillness to reclaim the room.
But Duo tossed and turned. He kept his mouth shut, but he couldn’t will himself into a restful state. He turned on his side away from Heero and stared wide-eyed at the wall, wondering why Heero was so easy to offend. He seemed so socio-pathically unemotional and then you said one wrong thing, that you could never guess would be wrong, and Heero closed off. He sighed a little above a whisper and let his finger trace the patterns of the spidery plaster cracks in the wall.
“Duo?” Heero’s voice crept across the room.
“Don’t tell me to be quiet,” Duo warned. “I barely made a noise.”
“Why did you liberate me from the Alliance Hospital?” Heero asked bluntly.
Duo let himself smirk mirthlessly in the dark. “Why not?”
“I’m asking a serious question and I expect a serious answer.”
“I don’t know why,” Duo replied honestly and a little heatedly. “I just wanted to.”
“If I were captured tomorrow, would you try to rescue me again?” Heero asked.
“I don’t know,” Duo said again. There was a long pause. “Most likely.”
“That probably wouldn’t be wise,” Heero admonished levelly.
Duo chuckled. “Don’t talk your saviors out of saving you,” he cautioned. “Someday you may need me.”
“Why would you do it?” Heero insisted.
“Anyone with eyes can see that you’re important. The colonies need you and if I can help you to succeed, then we both win.”
“Would you expect me to rescue you?”
“Nah,” Duo said softly.
In the dark, Heero frowned. “Why not?”
Duo couldn’t bring himself to explain that he didn’t need rescuing from some OZ ship or some Leo battle; Heero would barely sit with him in a dorm room when he wanted him to.
“Why not?” Heero asked again.
“It wouldn’t be wise.” Duo snapped, feeding Heero his own reasoning.
“True,” Heero agreed, looking over at Duo. “Don’t wait for me, in that case.”
Duo laughed.
+++
Duo touched the raw, exposed, wet scab on his lip. It hurt to touch it but he couldn’t stop feeling it. It was puffy and made his face feel uneven. He’d stopped running his finger down his broken nose bone hours ago, the pain real enough to dissuade him, but he needed something to distract himself from the overall ache and heaviness of his body. The cell was dark, damp and smelled very much like his childhood, which made it unbearable. He was hungry and cold and most of all, he was very lonely.
A scuffle in the hallway told him he’d better sit up straight before the boots walked in and found him looking like a broken doll.
The door slid back and Duo blinked in the bright light. There was only one this time and Duo considered overpowering him and making a run for it, wondering how far he could get.
Instead, Heero’s gun between his eyes was a welcome sight after so many days in the tragically static cell.
But Heero’s hand under his elbow was more welcome still.
In the small room Heero had secured for Duo, they watched each other. Heero sat in the one chair and Duo lay on the bed. All his muscles ached, but he felt good watching Heero.
“You were wrong,” Heero’s voice said quietly into the little room.
Duo closed his eyes and let go a small smile. “I said I wouldn’t expect you. Not that you wouldn’t come.”
“I came,” Heero confirmed.
“Yeah,” Duo agreed. “I wasn’t waiting though. Just so we’re clear.”
Duo was gratified to hear a small chuckle escape Heero’s throat. “I know.”
“Yeah,” Duo said again. The easy silence stretched on and Duo’s eyes slid and stayed closed as Heero watched him.
“Thanks, Heero,” Duo said quietly, sparking a memory in Heero’s mind of warm hands and cool sheets and the scent of the ocean close by, months and months ago, before all of this got so deep.
“Duo?” Heero wondered, but only got an indistinct hum from the boy on the bed. He got up quietly from the chair and removed his jeans and jacket, placing them nearby. He crept to the bedside and looked at Duo’s face, marred by cuts and bandages, but relaxed in sleep.
“Fields and fields of yellow flowers,” Heero whispered into Duo’s ear, letting his mouth momentarily graze the translucent skin. “That’s what I dream.”
Duo woke alone, but the foam mattress was warm and indented next to him. His lips lifted in the slightest delineation of hopefulness. He sat on the bed, dozing on and off until late afternoon, when the door to the little room opened and Heero walked through, full of admonishments and advice on recuperating here away from the fighting. Duo let Heero believe he was listening to him and taking him seriously, but he was doing no such thing.
+++
Duo found Heero sitting in the large observation bay of Peacemillion.
He approached Heero casually, as the other boy watched him. “I lost count,” he admitted. “Are we even?”
Heero regarded him calmly. “I lost count too.”
Duo grinned. “You’re a bad liar, hey.”
“I’m an expert liar,” Heero disagreed mildly. “But I don’t think it matters now what the count is.”
Duo nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets, still grinning. “Okay, let’s call it even,” he offered. “You saved me, I saved you, times twelve or so, and we’ll just stop counting there.”
“Okay,” Heero agreed, returning the smile in a smaller way.
“But don’t stop saving me if I need it,” Duo ordered. “We’ve gotten far and I want to play ‘til the end.”
Heero smirked. “Understood.”
Duo’s face grew serious for a moment. “And the end is coming, isn’t it? All this, it led to here. I know it.”
Heero regarded Duo with an immovable expression and finally nodded once. “It’s almost over.”
Duo looked penetratingly at Heero. “But listen,” he began, his voice uncharacteristically earnest and stern. “Not everything ends, you got it?” He looked significantly into Heero’s eyes.
Heero stared back wordlessly until the silence was filled with his gaze.
“Anyway,” Duo said, stretching his arms above his head. “I was gonna catch some shut eye.”
“Okay.”
“Are you going to sleep soon?”
“Probably.”
“’Kay,” Duo answered. “See you in there.” He turned on his heel with a parting smile and walked down the hall to the bunks. He walked slowly, undressed slowly, lingered over brushing his teeth and finally climbed into the narrow bunk nailed to the floor in the small cabin. But Heero never came to the bunk opposite his own and Duo felt paralyzed in the silence.
+++
Duo watched Heero as he slept lightly in the pilot’s chair next to him. In a few hours they’d rendezvous with the others and try to somehow topple Dekim Barton’s little-girl-dictator and get the Peacecraft girl back alive. But for now, he could let his eyes trace the curve of Heero’s cheek and the straight line of his nose.
“What?” came Heero’s voice, though his eyes were closed.
Duo realized he’d been caught watching. “Nothing,” he said lightly. “Just admiring your nose bone.”
Heero’s eyes opened then and an eyebrow lifted, asking the question by itself.
“Mine is all crooked now,” Duo sighed, rubbing his finger over his own, once-broken nose.
“Barely,” Heero disagreed. “There’s only a slight bump.”
Duo smiled. “Yours is straight.”
“It hardly matters,” Heero shrugged.
“I like straight nose bones,” Duo announced simply. “Mine’s not as fun to trace now.”
Heero looked at him and quirked another inquisitive eyebrow.
“Try it,” Duo commanded, pointing to his nose.
Heero hesitated a little longer than polite and then, when Duo didn’t retract the order, tentatively ran his forefinger down the line of Duo’s nose.
“Very unpleasant,” Heero assessed and let Duo push him lightly on the side of the head.
He was unprepared for Duo’s forefinger to invade his personal space and plant itself firmly on the bridge of his nose and slide down to the tip, hopping off at the end in a little upward curve. Duo smiled, then looked away.
“I missed you,” Duo said, gazing through the windshield of the ship.
Heero looked over at Duo, and when he didn’t look back, allowed himself a small, touched smile.
+++
“-ero?”
Heero heard voices echoing faintly, as if they were in a tunnel, far away. He looked around, but there was only darkness. The voices-no there was only one, it was just bouncing off the walls-still called and he felt he ought to move towards it.
“Heero? Hey, Yuy!”
Heero’s eyes blinked open. The room was dark, but a good amount of light was streaming in from a harsh florescent panel in the hallway.
“Hospital,” a voice explained. “Don’t worry,” it went on and proved to have Duo’s accent. “It’s safe. The blonde woman’s taking care of you. You collapsed, you know.”
Heero took a deep breath and pushed himself into a sitting position. Duo pressed a glass of water with a pink straw into his hand.
“Here. You’ve been out for about a day, I guess. Your scans all look normal, I hear.”
Heero nodded. He remembered pointing the gun and the little girl running in front of the bullet. It was true, after all, he remembered thinking. She was just a little girl.
“The general belief on the floor is that you were suffering from exhaustion,” Duo explained, the look on his face saying how unimpressive he thought the doctors were, to have figured out what was so obvious.
“I haven’t been sleeping well,” Heero admitted.
Duo studied Heero thoughtfully. “Sorry I woke you,” he apologized. “I just wanted to see for myself that you were okay before I take off.”
“Where are you going?”
Duo crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “Hilde asked me to work in her scrap yard again.”
“You’re going to?” Heero questioned. He didn’t feel fully conscious but his eyes had brought everything into focus finally.
Duo shrugged and smiled a familiar smile. “Yeah. At least for a bit. What else am I gonna do? It’s all over.” He looked at Heero very searchingly.
“We thought it was over last time,” Heero ventured.
Duo shook his head. “This time it’s really over. We’re gonna…we’re sending the Gundams back to chaos. Our part is done.”
“Our part?” Heero wondered with peculiar emphasis.
Duo looked confused for a moment and then shrugged. “Yeah. I don’t want to fight anymore. I did it because I had to at the time and because I had a purpose to fulfill. It’s fulfilled. I’m not a career soldier.”
Heero nodded, understanding. “When are you leaving?”
“In a few days,” Duo replied. “But I’m going with Trowa and Quatre to rechristen my buddy as an innocent nothing.”
“I won’t destroy Wing,” Heero replied fervently.
Duo smiled and shrugged. “That’s your call, Heero.”
“Do you think I should?”
Duo nodded. “Yes. I know you like to be prepared, but this battle is political now and that’s how it’s got to stay.”
Heero closed his eyes and smiled.
+++
Heero listened to the frogs chirruping in the dewy grass outside as he lay in bed. The clock recorded the breathless hour of 3:34 am. He inhaled deeply and was surprised when a sigh escaped his lips. The kingdom of Sanq was silent around him, as usual. The mattress was soft, maybe too soft, but the sheets were cool and light and smelled fresh. The ceiling above him was the backdrop for memories that surfaced and flickered, some lingering, some just flashes of a moment, pieces of larger scenes, that wouldn’t let him sleep. He sighed again.
“Oh good, you’re awake.”
Heero sat up abruptly, but his mind already recognized the voice attached to the shadow that crept through the doorway and he relaxed his murderous instincts.
“Don’t appear out of nowhere like that,” Heero scolded.
“That’s the opposite of what I wanted all this time,” Duo said simply. “But you never showed up. So I thought I had better come to you.”
Heero remained silent and Duo motioned to his bed tucked into the corner so snugly. “Can I sit down?”
“There are chairs,” Heero replied.
Duo smiled and sat down on the bed. “I can’t sleep either,” he confessed. “I have nightmares.”
Heero looked steadily at Duo, so suddenly real in his room.
“How’d you get past all the security?”
“That’s a trade secret,” Duo said, a soft, teasing smile on his lips. “But I’ll admit it wasn’t easy.”
“You should tell me so I can correct any flaws.”
“Heero,” Duo said, his voice suddenly heavy in the quiet. “I’m tired.”
Heero regarded Duo for a brief moment and then shifted his body to the far side of the mattress.
Duo let one corner of his mouth lift. He kicked off his shoes and was out of his jacket and pants quickly and easily. He laid back, his head on Heero’s pillow and Heero looking down at him.
“Thanks, Heero.”
“Duo.”
“Hm?”
“Your nose is just fine.”
Duo laughed. “Thanks.”
Heero was quiet for a moment and then he eased himself back under the sheet and rested his head on the mattress, since Duo had the pillow.
“Why’d you come here so late?”
“This flight was the cheapest,” Duo explained simply around a yawn. In the silence following his answer Duo smiled. “And the soonest.”
“Oh,” Heero said.
Duo opened his eyes and found Heero staring at him. His eyes looked even more intense in the dark; an unquiet stare.
“Heero,” Duo breathed openly, something unspoken attached.
Heero didn’t respond but he continued to look at Duo, slowly moving his face closer to where the pillow and the tip of Duo’s nose began.
Duo watched him.
In the dark, of their own volition, Heero’s hesitant fingertips found Duo’s shoulder. He let them wisp over the familiar curve for a moment before sliding carefully down to Duo’s neck, and tentatively touching the smooth, soft skin there.
“Duo,” Heero said, the slightest hint of a question in the name.
Duo pressed their mouths together. Heero let him.
A quiet, still moment passed and a slight breeze blew in from the window.
Pulling away softly, Heero looked into Duo’s face. “Why’d you come here so late?” he repeated gently.
Duo smiled, a slow wave of warmth spreading over his face. “I didn’t know I was supposed to come sooner.”
Heero blinked soberly. “You said someday I might need you. I thought you would know when.”
Duo was bold enough to carefully run his fingers through Heero’s bangs.
“I know now,” he said happily.
“Good,” Heero said. “Stay?”
Duo agreed with a nod. “OK.”
The corners of Heero’s mouth lifted slightly higher than they normally would have. Duo was happy to watch the shadows dip into the curves that smile produced.
With his normal efficiency Heero tugged the pillow just enough from under Duo’s head that they could share. He found Duo’s hand without fanfare and laced their fingers together.
“Goodnight Duo,” he said breathily.
“’Night, ‘Ro,” Duo replied.
“Don’t call me that,” Heero said softly, without any conviction.
~end~