Deliberation
So.. I've been thinking about taking my piercings out. Not all of them mind you - namely my labrets and possibly my septum. With my septum I can put something I can flip up in it and forget about it but its kinda hard with labrets. Clear plastic retainers are still visible.. I'm getting kinda over having stuff in my lip - I love how they look, and if I take them out there'll be times (like sometimes when I go out or whatnot) that I'll wish I still had them (like with my mohawk now and then) but.. I dunno.. I'm getting a little over them.
I still want to stretch my earlobes - but I'm only going to about a 0g and thats large enough to put some gorgeous plugs in, but small enough to not hinder me in the workforce or be a bit OTT for me.
I dunno... it'd be so easy to just unscrew these labrets and take them out.. but its a hard decision for me.
I think it has come at the same time as my latent femininity - which I'm sort of discovering.
I've never been very feminine and I've always scoffed at those that are, but I'm starting to dress more feminine, my hair is growing and looking kinda cute, and I'm making a bit more of an effort with my appearance in general - and I dunno, the piercings are just sort of.. there.
I don't know what to do..
Identity crisis much?
Plus.. I have to go out in the workforce soon and I don't know what to do. The thought of going back to corporate work upsets me, but I'll earn more and be able to save up for my visit to Australia (to see if I want to move there) faster - and I'm seriously considering looking for makeup work, even though I want to ultimately do sfx - just to use my qualification - and not to blow my own horn but I'm pretty good - and I'm the fastest in my class, which is pretty necessary for makeup work.
I'm basically just shitting myself.. going through a lot of forced mental, emtotional and physical changes - I hope for the better and I'm just all.. all over the place right now.
My self esteem and confidence has been taking a bit of a hit lately - and my uncle isn't helping, what with always being on me about my weight or my food preferences or how I look or what I know or don't know.. I kinda feel like I'm being slowly worn down to a shell of my former self - it's happened to me before and I'm starting to recognise it again.
Blergh.. verbal diorreha for the win.
I still want to stretch my earlobes - but I'm only going to about a 0g and thats large enough to put some gorgeous plugs in, but small enough to not hinder me in the workforce or be a bit OTT for me.
I dunno... it'd be so easy to just unscrew these labrets and take them out.. but its a hard decision for me.
I think it has come at the same time as my latent femininity - which I'm sort of discovering.
I've never been very feminine and I've always scoffed at those that are, but I'm starting to dress more feminine, my hair is growing and looking kinda cute, and I'm making a bit more of an effort with my appearance in general - and I dunno, the piercings are just sort of.. there.
I don't know what to do..
Identity crisis much?
Plus.. I have to go out in the workforce soon and I don't know what to do. The thought of going back to corporate work upsets me, but I'll earn more and be able to save up for my visit to Australia (to see if I want to move there) faster - and I'm seriously considering looking for makeup work, even though I want to ultimately do sfx - just to use my qualification - and not to blow my own horn but I'm pretty good - and I'm the fastest in my class, which is pretty necessary for makeup work.
I'm basically just shitting myself.. going through a lot of forced mental, emtotional and physical changes - I hope for the better and I'm just all.. all over the place right now.
My self esteem and confidence has been taking a bit of a hit lately - and my uncle isn't helping, what with always being on me about my weight or my food preferences or how I look or what I know or don't know.. I kinda feel like I'm being slowly worn down to a shell of my former self - it's happened to me before and I'm starting to recognise it again.
Blergh.. verbal diorreha for the win.