Magic is better than resolutions...
Making lists calms me down. I'm not an anal retentive person, nor do I need organization as a way to escape from a life of chaos. I am normally in love with chaos, always needing it to thrive. Making a list is just a kind of prayer, a spell, a command to the universe. Something magickal happens when I do make a list, and it reminds me of the main tenet of spellcraft which is I Think I Speak I Am. What you can think, you can become. What can show up in a list, might really happen. So I want to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and to give myself a time frame I will use this year, 2008, as a deadline for my wishes.
A year is an arbitrary time, and over-used. But oh well.
Wishes for 2008:
* Get together a savings plan.
This will not be a long-term savings plan, just a plan to make a down-payment on a car or make a tuition payment on school.
* Go back to school by Fall 2008.
I will apply to any of the public schools in my area but really don't want to go to a community college where I feel all my past efforts in a private school will be wasted. I need challenge.
* Gain back control of my eating habits.
For a long time now I have been either very poor or most of my money has gone towards an immense stack of bills. The interesting thing is that when I got broke, I got fat. Dollar menus and fast food restaurants have been my only option other than eating cardboard. I am a horrific cook but must overcome that. I can't worry about losing weight but I can try to at least get control of how much pure junk I put in my mouth.
* Demand what I need.
I have slipped in the cracks of the world's sidewalk. I have become a hustler, a two bit whore. Mediocrity has encapsulated me, and the bell jar grows stronger only due to my helplessness. No one is going to help me, you can never rely on promises. I have to learn to be stronger in my demands of other people, otherwise I will remain in the cracks. Even if that means demanding things of people I love, so be it. I am not a malicious person and I've never known how to be a brat, but there's nothing wrong with claiming your rights.
* Remember what it feels like to be pretty.
Yes, I am fat. No, I can't change that right now no matter how many commercials tell me I can. I might weigh 190 pounds but other than that, I am beautiful. I just need to take care of what I can. I can put my hair in rollers a little more often, put on lipstick every day, wear perfume even if I am not going anywhere special. Sit up straight, get a massage, smile more and mean it. Tell others they are beautiful.
* Take more pictures.
I need to remember this time, even if it seems like the most boring time of my life. I have lost sight of one of my top priorities in life, which is to remember everything.
* Get a better job.
This will be by far the hardest, since my resume is laughable and my education is lacking. I am a great interview and am an insanely fast learner. I have been trying to get another job for over two years now. I just don't want to be in sales anymore. I'd probably feel like less of a hustler and a two bit whore if I didn't have to be in retail anymore.
There. Now I hope that works.
A year is an arbitrary time, and over-used. But oh well.
Wishes for 2008:
* Get together a savings plan.
This will not be a long-term savings plan, just a plan to make a down-payment on a car or make a tuition payment on school.
* Go back to school by Fall 2008.
I will apply to any of the public schools in my area but really don't want to go to a community college where I feel all my past efforts in a private school will be wasted. I need challenge.
* Gain back control of my eating habits.
For a long time now I have been either very poor or most of my money has gone towards an immense stack of bills. The interesting thing is that when I got broke, I got fat. Dollar menus and fast food restaurants have been my only option other than eating cardboard. I am a horrific cook but must overcome that. I can't worry about losing weight but I can try to at least get control of how much pure junk I put in my mouth.
* Demand what I need.
I have slipped in the cracks of the world's sidewalk. I have become a hustler, a two bit whore. Mediocrity has encapsulated me, and the bell jar grows stronger only due to my helplessness. No one is going to help me, you can never rely on promises. I have to learn to be stronger in my demands of other people, otherwise I will remain in the cracks. Even if that means demanding things of people I love, so be it. I am not a malicious person and I've never known how to be a brat, but there's nothing wrong with claiming your rights.
* Remember what it feels like to be pretty.
Yes, I am fat. No, I can't change that right now no matter how many commercials tell me I can. I might weigh 190 pounds but other than that, I am beautiful. I just need to take care of what I can. I can put my hair in rollers a little more often, put on lipstick every day, wear perfume even if I am not going anywhere special. Sit up straight, get a massage, smile more and mean it. Tell others they are beautiful.
* Take more pictures.
I need to remember this time, even if it seems like the most boring time of my life. I have lost sight of one of my top priorities in life, which is to remember everything.
* Get a better job.
This will be by far the hardest, since my resume is laughable and my education is lacking. I am a great interview and am an insanely fast learner. I have been trying to get another job for over two years now. I just don't want to be in sales anymore. I'd probably feel like less of a hustler and a two bit whore if I didn't have to be in retail anymore.
There. Now I hope that works.