(no subject)
I almost died today.
here's the story.
i have a new job, as a girlfriday for a Merrill Lynch office in downtown Dallas. Reception, bill paying, organizing, filing, heavy lifting- whatever needs doing. My first day was actually Monday, yesterday. It was nicely boring, everyone was nice and i thought to myself- i could do this for $12 an hour for a couple of weeks. I'm a temp- so i have no contract or expectation to stay long, nor will i have the opportunity should i want to stay. But hey- i'll make $500 or so and get on with my non-corporate life. it's 10-3, so the hours are easy to make. It's just an all-around convenient job.
But last night i dreamt that no matter what happened, i was late to the office in the morning. I woke up on time- at 8 o'clock, perfect time for hair and makeup and a wakeup call from Roblove. Everything went smoothly- i even left the house early. But two minutes after i got on the freeway, the bumping that had subsisted in my car for many weeks finally came to a head. My left rear tire flew off my car, and across the freeway in front of dozens of cars during rush hour. My car started sparking, a cloud of orange fire beginning to ignite. I dragged on with three tires for almost a mile, trying the best i could to steer but i swerved and spun. The brakes were no good- i panicked. I thought- this is how i die. I die in a stupid car wreck on a freeway in Dallas. Just a blurb on the news, one fatality in a freeway accident. And in other news we have now found the fattest cow in the world, and the middle east continues to implode upon itself as it has done for the last thousand years.
But i didn't die. I let go of the brake clutch and prayed, and somehow my car just stopped on the shoulder, perfectly and calmly- as if some divine giant hand took hold of my car which was spinning out of control- and put it where i would be safe. I couldn't open my door to get out- nor did i want to. So i sat in my car on the side of the road and prayed that no one would hit me while i was stopped on the shoulder. I panicked and couldn't find my hazard lights even though i always knew where they were before. When i finally found them, two cars pulled over to see if i was dead or dying. They were sweet to pull over- i always have high regard for people that pull over at the site of a car wreck- even though i'm not always one of them.
My mom came to get me- parking her huge van on the last few feet of shoulder in front of me, helped me out of my car and held my hand so i could get in her car. She called a tow truck and dropped me off at my job- only an hour late and ahead by one life.
i know its stupid and people probably survive these things all the time totally unscathed... i just realized how much i really don't want to die or be hurt to the point where life isn't worth living.
here's the story.
i have a new job, as a girlfriday for a Merrill Lynch office in downtown Dallas. Reception, bill paying, organizing, filing, heavy lifting- whatever needs doing. My first day was actually Monday, yesterday. It was nicely boring, everyone was nice and i thought to myself- i could do this for $12 an hour for a couple of weeks. I'm a temp- so i have no contract or expectation to stay long, nor will i have the opportunity should i want to stay. But hey- i'll make $500 or so and get on with my non-corporate life. it's 10-3, so the hours are easy to make. It's just an all-around convenient job.
But last night i dreamt that no matter what happened, i was late to the office in the morning. I woke up on time- at 8 o'clock, perfect time for hair and makeup and a wakeup call from Roblove. Everything went smoothly- i even left the house early. But two minutes after i got on the freeway, the bumping that had subsisted in my car for many weeks finally came to a head. My left rear tire flew off my car, and across the freeway in front of dozens of cars during rush hour. My car started sparking, a cloud of orange fire beginning to ignite. I dragged on with three tires for almost a mile, trying the best i could to steer but i swerved and spun. The brakes were no good- i panicked. I thought- this is how i die. I die in a stupid car wreck on a freeway in Dallas. Just a blurb on the news, one fatality in a freeway accident. And in other news we have now found the fattest cow in the world, and the middle east continues to implode upon itself as it has done for the last thousand years.
But i didn't die. I let go of the brake clutch and prayed, and somehow my car just stopped on the shoulder, perfectly and calmly- as if some divine giant hand took hold of my car which was spinning out of control- and put it where i would be safe. I couldn't open my door to get out- nor did i want to. So i sat in my car on the side of the road and prayed that no one would hit me while i was stopped on the shoulder. I panicked and couldn't find my hazard lights even though i always knew where they were before. When i finally found them, two cars pulled over to see if i was dead or dying. They were sweet to pull over- i always have high regard for people that pull over at the site of a car wreck- even though i'm not always one of them.
My mom came to get me- parking her huge van on the last few feet of shoulder in front of me, helped me out of my car and held my hand so i could get in her car. She called a tow truck and dropped me off at my job- only an hour late and ahead by one life.
i know its stupid and people probably survive these things all the time totally unscathed... i just realized how much i really don't want to die or be hurt to the point where life isn't worth living.