i don't understand you. you always somehow seem to make me feel like less of a person, even when you're not trying. complaining that i mention coldplay, complaining that i pose for my pictures. hell, if i had a scanner, a million polaroids of me in my natural state would be here instead then would you be so worried? i doubt it. who cares what i do in my photographs that i post? 90% of the people on my friends list know me in "real life" and know what i look and act like. who cares if i pose, honestly? i want to lose weight to feel better about myself, to fit into jeans everywhere i go rather than having only one place that they fit me. it's quite liberating to run into a high school friend and hear them say "you look really great". perhaps i care too much about the way that people see me but i'm okay with that. i've got my close friends that i would do anything for. others, like yourself, are mere acquaintances that indulge me wtih conversation and laughter a few times a month. i'm not trying to impress anyone, megan. sometimes i wonder why you're even acquainted with me seeing as how everything i do seems to bother you. (or at least that's the way it feels...) i'm sorry if i spark something in your head that screams "fake!" or something similar but i happen to like the person i've become. i don't mean the physical me either. maybe alot has changed since we were friends, maybe i'm a completely different person, maybe you're a completely different person. either way, i think that you pick apart people too much. i think you let your open mind speak a little too freely sometimes. there are things you've said to me that just aren't necessary at all. maybe you strongly dislike me, i don't really know but that is the impression that i get. still after we said our apologies and moved on, i don't feel that you even care to get to know me again. perhaps i could say the same for you, i'm not sure. what i guess i am leading up to is that you really hurt my feelings alot, purposefully or not.
and i am very sorry that i hurt your feelings. my intent isn't to hurt someone's feelings, it's to hopefully make them think about things, but i'm not exactly tactful. and we all know this.
so i apologize. this has made me so late for work.
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so i apologize. this has made me so late for work.
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