Yay for Tanker-love.
I’m seriously terrified. I REALLY hope I didn’t butcher Tanzie… >__< I’m SO sorry if I did…but it’s really hard with a story like this…I don’t actually know what Tanzie would do…so…read on…
Hope...you don't cry...My Lave...?
She had returned from another of her visits to her parents nearly an hour ago, coming home to the ranch with hopes of seeing Kadei and the twins but finding only the twins being watched by Kadei’s parents. Kadei had left earlier that evening at Jay’s request as the other man was going out of town and wished Kadei to take care of the pets. Kadei’s mother had offered her the spare key to Jay’s, which they had had since the day he’d moved in to his house just as Kadei had his own set. Still wishing to see her love, the woman had gladly accepted, reluctantly saying goodnight to the twins before leaving.
Having been to Jay’s before (thankfully), it was an easy drive and the girl soon found herself unlocking the front door. The problem being, though, that the lights were out and she had no idea where Kadei might be. Frowning, Tanzie shut and locked the door behind her, uneasily moving down the hall despite the multitude of canine eyes that leered at her from the shadows. She could see why Jay did not take the dogs with him; she was rather surprised at their silence despite a stranger wandering into their home in the middle of the night.
Biting her lip, she peeked in to the first room only to find that it was just the bathroom. She continued on, checking two more rooms until she reached a shut door. For a moment, something made her stop outside the door. She was suddenly unsure, for unknown reasons, of whether or not she truly wanted to step past that door. She got the feeling that she would not like what she found on the other side of the door. She already did not like this side, with all of its darkness and the hot breath of one of the dogs on the back of her legs. She glanced back, somewhat unnerved that these dogs bothered her when usually dogs were not an issue.
“Kadie…?” Maybe she had been too quiet when she spoke, but there was no answer from the room on the other side of the wood door. She thought, though, that she could hear something there. A quiet sound, muffled by hands maybe. What kind of…She seemed to start, realizing that she was fairly sure that it was crying that she was hearing from the room. She opened the door then, determined to discover if she was right and, if she was, to do everything she could to make it stop. Her breath hitched painfully in her throat at the sight that she found in the room.
For reasons unknown to her, Kadei lie curled in to a fetal position on the bed, illuminated only by moonlight as he trembled half-covered beneath the thin sheets. For some reason, she found that she could not move, merely staring dazedly at the beauty on the bed. She wanted to go to him. She wanted to go to him more than anything…but something kept her rooted to the spot, staring as if in awe at him as he remained completely oblivious to her.
Finally, as a particularly harsh sob escaped him from beneath the arms shielding his face, Tanzie lurched forward somewhat unsteadily, stumbling to the bed until she could kneel by the edge and gently rest her finger tips on Kadei’s arm. She did not want to startle him but, as he had thought himself the only one there and had not heard her enter, he jerked away with a terrified, chocked gasp. Tanzie was surprised upon seeing his face, despite already knowing he had been crying. It seemed that the fact had not hit her right until she saw the terror in the blue eyes and the tear stained streaks made visible by the moon.
“Kadie…Kadei, why are you crying? What’s wrong?” She murmured, climbing up on the bed where he had previously lie. He was now sitting up on the other side, doubled over with his hands over his face. His sobs returned, accompanied by a steady trembling of his body as he tried to calm himself. He was unsure of whether this was what he wanted or not. He wanted her there, definitely…but this was also exactly the thing that he never, ever wanted to let her see. As if he needed to seem weak on top of everything...
Uneasily, Tanzie reached over, laying a hand comfortingly on top of his head before running her fingers through his partially dampened hair. Words were murmured, though the girl was not really sure what exactly to say to him when she did not know what had him so distraught. When he seemed to relax under her touch, though still crying, she shifted closer to embrace him. The hand in his head moved his head so that it rested on her shoulder before continuing its ministrations. She said nothing for a long time, knowing that nothing she said would gain a response from the man. Kadei was not one to tell others when he was upset or why; he worried too much about other people to let anyone spend time on him. He did not want people to ‘waste’ time worrying about him.
After what seemed like too long, the crying faded entirely to be replaced by the steady breathing of a dreamless sleep. Tanzie sighed, frowning worriedly at the sleeping face pressed against her shoulder. She lifted a hand, lovingly smoothing her fingertips over his wet cheeks as she watched him in silence. She wanted, for just a moment, to wake him up and ask again what had happened, why he had been crying. She had never seen him cry in anything buy joy. He had cried when she had first told him she loved him. He had cried at their wedding. He had cried when the twins were born (she had, too, admittedly). But she had never imagined she would see him in this kind of state.
But she would not do it.
Instead, she adjusted them both so that they lie on the bed, pulling the thin sheets over them as Kadei unconsciously curled against her side in his sleeping state. Sure that the man was comfortably nestled against her, she looked over at the bedside table, eyes searching for the object that could potentially bring her answers to her questions about her husband’s state. His cell, resting just beyond the edge of the table. Good.
Grabbing the phone, Tanzie flipped it open and found the number of the man she knew would still be awake and willing to talk. After only a ring and a half, the call was answered by a rather tired-sounding voice. Maybe he had been asleep? Oh well, too late to worry about it now. “Hey Tal…Sorry to bother you…but I wanted to ask you something about Kadei…”
”Kadei…? Is something wrong?”
“Apparently so…” The situation was described, taken in utter silence by the one on the other end of the line until several minutes after Tanzie had finished explaining the problem. A heavy sigh came from the other end, Tal seeming to struggle with his answer to Tanzikala’s worry.
”Alright…I suppose…Kadei won’t tell you…For starters, Kadei is adopted,” Tal began, resigning to his fate of explaining things to Kadei’s love. ”His mother abandoned him when he was four and he got shuffled around in orphanages and foster homes until he was six or seven, when he was finally adopted by his parents now…He never really had friends as a kid and he was too shy to talk to anyone, so he was alone a lot…He used to have nightmares all the time and would wake up alone every time, either because he had no one to go to or he because he didn’t think his foster parents would care…since his real parents didn’t…He’s been absolutely terrified of being alone ever since…It’s part of the reason why he never moved away from the ranch…I bet you anything his parents and his sisters asked if he was going to be okay being alone before he went to Jay’s…but you know Deisy. He’d tell them everything was fine with that big smile and leave as if it was nothing…”
Tanzie, though she would not admit or submit to it, she almost felt like crying herself. She hated, hated to think that Kadei had been alone in the house with that kind of fear to deal with. She hated the fact that she felt as if she was at fault for not being here with him when he had come to the house. She hated that he had been crying for a reason other than joy or happiness or love or laughter. Sighing heavily, she said goodnight to Tal and set the phone aside, turning a bit to huddle closer to Kadei.
“I wish you would tell me things…” She murmured after a few minutes of lying in silence. She had, of course, no expectations of a reply as the beautiful man appeared to still be sleeping. She was surprised, then, when he shifted his head up a bit in order to look at her when his own blue eyes opened slowly.
“I…I’m sorry…” He whispered, appearing to be close to tears once again. This time, though, because he felt that he had let her down in some way. He felt, to be honest, like he had suddenly become a burden of some sort. He bit his lip, closing his eyes and burying his face in the crook of the girl’s neck as he tried to refrain from crying again. He hated feeling so weak, especially around her.
Tanzie frowned slightly, worriedly, before shaking her head and offering a smile that he could not see with his face buried against her neck. “Don’t be, Kadie,” the words were spoken softly as she stroked her fingers through his long hair. “I understand, it’s alright,” she assured him. He shivered as her fingers brushed the back of his neck, shifting closer as he slipped his arms around her waist as if by instinct. She could hear his breathing falter every once in a while as he struggled to fight back the tears that seemed determined to spill again. She had no doubt that he was remembering how he had felt before she had come…
“If there were no words,
no way to speak,
I would still hear you.
If there were no tears,
no way to feel inside,
I'd still feel for you.
And even if the sun refused to shine,
even if romance ran out of rhyme,
you would still have my heart until the end of time.
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine”
Kadei swallowed, pulling back to give her a look of mixed surprise and adoration. It was one thing for her to speak words of comfort to him. That was always nice, for sure…But it was a whole different thing for her to sing to him in a way meant purely to comfort him. His adopted mother had done so when he was a child, Embry had done so as they grew older. He had never told her either fact, so it was quite possible that this now had a shockingly strong impact on him. He was, unfortunately, unable to put words to what it meant to him.
Instead…
“Tanzie…Tanzie, I love you…” She smiled at this, deciding against voicing her love in return in favor of continuing her former actions that she realized might have a stronger effect on the man for the time being. He in turn seemed to blush in the darkness at her smile, exhaling heavily as he rested his forehead against the girl’s temple.
“All of my life
I have been waiting for
all you give to me.
You've opened my eyes
and shown me how to love unselfishly.
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before,
in my dreams I couldn't love you more.
I will give you my heart
until the end of time.
You're all i need, my love, my Valentine
And even if the sun refused to shine,
even if romance ran out of rhyme,
you would still have my heart until the end of time.
'cause all I need is you, my Valentine,
you're all I need, my love, my Valentine…”
"Love you more."
Hope...you don't cry...My Lave...?
She had returned from another of her visits to her parents nearly an hour ago, coming home to the ranch with hopes of seeing Kadei and the twins but finding only the twins being watched by Kadei’s parents. Kadei had left earlier that evening at Jay’s request as the other man was going out of town and wished Kadei to take care of the pets. Kadei’s mother had offered her the spare key to Jay’s, which they had had since the day he’d moved in to his house just as Kadei had his own set. Still wishing to see her love, the woman had gladly accepted, reluctantly saying goodnight to the twins before leaving.
Having been to Jay’s before (thankfully), it was an easy drive and the girl soon found herself unlocking the front door. The problem being, though, that the lights were out and she had no idea where Kadei might be. Frowning, Tanzie shut and locked the door behind her, uneasily moving down the hall despite the multitude of canine eyes that leered at her from the shadows. She could see why Jay did not take the dogs with him; she was rather surprised at their silence despite a stranger wandering into their home in the middle of the night.
Biting her lip, she peeked in to the first room only to find that it was just the bathroom. She continued on, checking two more rooms until she reached a shut door. For a moment, something made her stop outside the door. She was suddenly unsure, for unknown reasons, of whether or not she truly wanted to step past that door. She got the feeling that she would not like what she found on the other side of the door. She already did not like this side, with all of its darkness and the hot breath of one of the dogs on the back of her legs. She glanced back, somewhat unnerved that these dogs bothered her when usually dogs were not an issue.
“Kadie…?” Maybe she had been too quiet when she spoke, but there was no answer from the room on the other side of the wood door. She thought, though, that she could hear something there. A quiet sound, muffled by hands maybe. What kind of…She seemed to start, realizing that she was fairly sure that it was crying that she was hearing from the room. She opened the door then, determined to discover if she was right and, if she was, to do everything she could to make it stop. Her breath hitched painfully in her throat at the sight that she found in the room.
For reasons unknown to her, Kadei lie curled in to a fetal position on the bed, illuminated only by moonlight as he trembled half-covered beneath the thin sheets. For some reason, she found that she could not move, merely staring dazedly at the beauty on the bed. She wanted to go to him. She wanted to go to him more than anything…but something kept her rooted to the spot, staring as if in awe at him as he remained completely oblivious to her.
Finally, as a particularly harsh sob escaped him from beneath the arms shielding his face, Tanzie lurched forward somewhat unsteadily, stumbling to the bed until she could kneel by the edge and gently rest her finger tips on Kadei’s arm. She did not want to startle him but, as he had thought himself the only one there and had not heard her enter, he jerked away with a terrified, chocked gasp. Tanzie was surprised upon seeing his face, despite already knowing he had been crying. It seemed that the fact had not hit her right until she saw the terror in the blue eyes and the tear stained streaks made visible by the moon.
“Kadie…Kadei, why are you crying? What’s wrong?” She murmured, climbing up on the bed where he had previously lie. He was now sitting up on the other side, doubled over with his hands over his face. His sobs returned, accompanied by a steady trembling of his body as he tried to calm himself. He was unsure of whether this was what he wanted or not. He wanted her there, definitely…but this was also exactly the thing that he never, ever wanted to let her see. As if he needed to seem weak on top of everything...
Uneasily, Tanzie reached over, laying a hand comfortingly on top of his head before running her fingers through his partially dampened hair. Words were murmured, though the girl was not really sure what exactly to say to him when she did not know what had him so distraught. When he seemed to relax under her touch, though still crying, she shifted closer to embrace him. The hand in his head moved his head so that it rested on her shoulder before continuing its ministrations. She said nothing for a long time, knowing that nothing she said would gain a response from the man. Kadei was not one to tell others when he was upset or why; he worried too much about other people to let anyone spend time on him. He did not want people to ‘waste’ time worrying about him.
After what seemed like too long, the crying faded entirely to be replaced by the steady breathing of a dreamless sleep. Tanzie sighed, frowning worriedly at the sleeping face pressed against her shoulder. She lifted a hand, lovingly smoothing her fingertips over his wet cheeks as she watched him in silence. She wanted, for just a moment, to wake him up and ask again what had happened, why he had been crying. She had never seen him cry in anything buy joy. He had cried when she had first told him she loved him. He had cried at their wedding. He had cried when the twins were born (she had, too, admittedly). But she had never imagined she would see him in this kind of state.
But she would not do it.
Instead, she adjusted them both so that they lie on the bed, pulling the thin sheets over them as Kadei unconsciously curled against her side in his sleeping state. Sure that the man was comfortably nestled against her, she looked over at the bedside table, eyes searching for the object that could potentially bring her answers to her questions about her husband’s state. His cell, resting just beyond the edge of the table. Good.
Grabbing the phone, Tanzie flipped it open and found the number of the man she knew would still be awake and willing to talk. After only a ring and a half, the call was answered by a rather tired-sounding voice. Maybe he had been asleep? Oh well, too late to worry about it now. “Hey Tal…Sorry to bother you…but I wanted to ask you something about Kadei…”
”Kadei…? Is something wrong?”
“Apparently so…” The situation was described, taken in utter silence by the one on the other end of the line until several minutes after Tanzie had finished explaining the problem. A heavy sigh came from the other end, Tal seeming to struggle with his answer to Tanzikala’s worry.
”Alright…I suppose…Kadei won’t tell you…For starters, Kadei is adopted,” Tal began, resigning to his fate of explaining things to Kadei’s love. ”His mother abandoned him when he was four and he got shuffled around in orphanages and foster homes until he was six or seven, when he was finally adopted by his parents now…He never really had friends as a kid and he was too shy to talk to anyone, so he was alone a lot…He used to have nightmares all the time and would wake up alone every time, either because he had no one to go to or he because he didn’t think his foster parents would care…since his real parents didn’t…He’s been absolutely terrified of being alone ever since…It’s part of the reason why he never moved away from the ranch…I bet you anything his parents and his sisters asked if he was going to be okay being alone before he went to Jay’s…but you know Deisy. He’d tell them everything was fine with that big smile and leave as if it was nothing…”
Tanzie, though she would not admit or submit to it, she almost felt like crying herself. She hated, hated to think that Kadei had been alone in the house with that kind of fear to deal with. She hated the fact that she felt as if she was at fault for not being here with him when he had come to the house. She hated that he had been crying for a reason other than joy or happiness or love or laughter. Sighing heavily, she said goodnight to Tal and set the phone aside, turning a bit to huddle closer to Kadei.
“I wish you would tell me things…” She murmured after a few minutes of lying in silence. She had, of course, no expectations of a reply as the beautiful man appeared to still be sleeping. She was surprised, then, when he shifted his head up a bit in order to look at her when his own blue eyes opened slowly.
“I…I’m sorry…” He whispered, appearing to be close to tears once again. This time, though, because he felt that he had let her down in some way. He felt, to be honest, like he had suddenly become a burden of some sort. He bit his lip, closing his eyes and burying his face in the crook of the girl’s neck as he tried to refrain from crying again. He hated feeling so weak, especially around her.
Tanzie frowned slightly, worriedly, before shaking her head and offering a smile that he could not see with his face buried against her neck. “Don’t be, Kadie,” the words were spoken softly as she stroked her fingers through his long hair. “I understand, it’s alright,” she assured him. He shivered as her fingers brushed the back of his neck, shifting closer as he slipped his arms around her waist as if by instinct. She could hear his breathing falter every once in a while as he struggled to fight back the tears that seemed determined to spill again. She had no doubt that he was remembering how he had felt before she had come…
“If there were no words,
no way to speak,
I would still hear you.
If there were no tears,
no way to feel inside,
I'd still feel for you.
And even if the sun refused to shine,
even if romance ran out of rhyme,
you would still have my heart until the end of time.
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine”
Kadei swallowed, pulling back to give her a look of mixed surprise and adoration. It was one thing for her to speak words of comfort to him. That was always nice, for sure…But it was a whole different thing for her to sing to him in a way meant purely to comfort him. His adopted mother had done so when he was a child, Embry had done so as they grew older. He had never told her either fact, so it was quite possible that this now had a shockingly strong impact on him. He was, unfortunately, unable to put words to what it meant to him.
Instead…
“Tanzie…Tanzie, I love you…” She smiled at this, deciding against voicing her love in return in favor of continuing her former actions that she realized might have a stronger effect on the man for the time being. He in turn seemed to blush in the darkness at her smile, exhaling heavily as he rested his forehead against the girl’s temple.
“All of my life
I have been waiting for
all you give to me.
You've opened my eyes
and shown me how to love unselfishly.
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before,
in my dreams I couldn't love you more.
I will give you my heart
until the end of time.
You're all i need, my love, my Valentine
And even if the sun refused to shine,
even if romance ran out of rhyme,
you would still have my heart until the end of time.
'cause all I need is you, my Valentine,
you're all I need, my love, my Valentine…”
"Love you more."