Prince of Tennis ficcage
What, I actually finished something off my WIP list? Wonders never cease!
Title: Freaky Fuji
Rating: G, Humour
Pairings/Warnings: None
Word count: 6,381
Spoilers: Up to about volume 19. Since we're past that in the Viz translations, I don't think it really counts as a spoiler anymore.
Setting: In a totally made up series of games just before Tezuka's return
Disclaimer: Not mine. Prince of Tennis created by Konomi Takeshi.
Summary: Inui's Juice once again leaves disaster and havoc in its wake.
Title: Freaky Fuji
Rating: G, Humour
Pairings/Warnings: None
Set: Just before Tezuka's return
Disclaimer: Not mine. Prince of Tennis created by Konomi Takeshi.
**
The first sign that something was about to go horribly wrong that Friday was when Echizen collapsed after drinking Inui's newest juice creation. This was not entirely unprecedented however, so although the others regarded it warily, they saw no need to panic.
The second sign that something was about to go horribly wrong was when Fuji collapsed after drinking it.
The rest of the Regulars instantly fled the tennis courts, some of them screaming in horror. Finally Oishi returned, with a cowering Momoshirou and Kikumaru urging him on, and insisted that Inui dump this particular batch of juice. (While a good idea in principle, this would later come back to haunt them.) Practice then resumed for another hour, before the team broke up early for the day, in order to deliver their still-unconcious friends to their respective homes.
The third sign arrived the next day, in the form of a now-recovered, gently-smiling Echizen, who sailed into practice on time and proceeded to toy with Momo on Court B, hitting easily but missing any returns that went high. In-between shots, he peppered Momo with questions that had the older boy blushing furiously through the whole match.
"But Momo-chan, you MUST have kissed a girl by now."
"Shut up Echizen! Mind your own business!"
The shoe finally dropped when Fuji, eyes fully open, stomped into practice half an hour late, approached Inui and said flatly, "Inui-sempai, would you please undo this and put me back in my proper body."
In the long silence that followed, everyone turned to view their Ochibi, who sighed and pouted.
"Oh Echizen, you spoiled my fun."
At this point, chaos erupted.
**
"You've SWAPPED BODIES?" Momo repeated for the third time.
"Yes," Echizen-in-Fuji's body replied. "I keep telling you that, Momo-sempai."
"It's true," Fuji-in-Echizen's body backed him up. "I woke up this morning in a room not my own and I was like this." He turned to face his own body, holding up a bandaged finger. "By the way, I don't think your cat likes me."
"This is too weird," Eiji said, alternating between staring at both boys. "Ochibi is Fuji and Fuji is Ochibi!"
Now that the secret was out, it was plain to see that the minds (or souls or WHATEVER) of the two boys had been switched, as they continued to act normally (for themselves). Neither of them seemed too bothered by the whole incident so far, but both of them gave the impression of people whose patience had a distinct limit.
No one really wanted to know when they'd hit that limit.
"Interesting," Inui made a note. "I wonder how being in a different body will affect their tennis skills. This is all good data."
"DON'T GO CALLING IT GOOD DATA LIKE IT'S AN ACCIDENT!" Momo yelled in exasperation. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
"Now, now, there's no point in panicking," Fuji said placatingly. "I'm sure Inui didn't mean this to happen." He opened his eyes and regarded the taller man with a golden stare. "DID you, Inui?"
Inui swallowed slightly nervously, "Ah, no."
Fuji shut his eyes again and gave him a serene smile. "Then all is well."
"Whatever," Echizen put in. "Can you reverse it now please? We have to get to class soon."
"Now, now, there's no need to hurry," Fuji said cheerfully. "It's rather interesting, being you. Perhaps we could wait until after school? It is only a half-day, after all."
Echizen glared at his impudently smiling body. "No way."
"Well," Inui began, making frantic notes. "Logically, if the juice swapped you both the first time after you became unconcious, if you both drank it again it SHOULD switch you back."
Both Fuji and Echizen shuddered at the memory of their last session with the drink.
Echizen swallowed nervously. "Fine, whatever. I don't care. Someone's going to have to tell the teacher I'm too sick for class though."
"Ah, actually," Inui coughed. "I regret that, after your bad reactions last night, I was prevailed upon to expunge that particular experiment."
"... what?"
Oishi, Momo and Eiji looked nervous. "We made him throw it all away..." Eiji mumbled.
Fuji and Echizen blinked and exchanged vaguely concerned looks.
"How long will it take to make a new batch?" Echizen asked finally.
Inui hid his answer in a cough.
"Was that, 'I don't know', Inui?" Fuji asked dangerously.
Inui coughed again.
Echizen looked sick. "You mean... we're stuck like this? But... we have a match tomorrow!"
Momo blanched. "The match! I nearly forgot about it!"
Behind him, the other Regulars were exchanging panicked looks.
"It's bad enough with Tezuka being gone," Kawamura said out loud. "What are we going to do if neither Echizen or Fujiko-chan can play?"
Oishi had gone white. "Tezuka..."
"Don't worry Oishi," Eiji hastened to reassure him. "I told you we'll help you keep your promise to Buchou! We won't lose!"
"No, it's that..." Oishi looked as though he were about to pass out. "I received an e-mail from him yesterday. He's... he's coming back!"
"WHAT?"
"When?" Fuji demanded.
"M-Monday," Oishi stuttered. "I was planning to tell you before the match, to bolster your spirits and give you a greater desire to win. But if Tezuka comes back and finds out about this..."
Stunned silence prevailed.
"This is not good," Momo murmured. "Not good at all."
Even Kaidou looked panicked.
"We'll be running laps for EVER!" Eiji wailed. "I-NU-IIII!!! You have to DO something!"
Inui looked at the rest of the Regulars, who were all staring at him with a mix of desperation and annoyance. "I... that is... uh..."
"Laps," Oishi warned sternly.
"Wasabi sushi," Momo threatened.
"Aozu!" Eiji shouted menacingly.
Fuji just smiled at him.
"I'll get right on it," Inui said weakly. "Please rely on me."
The group muttered and then jumped when the first bell warning for classes started.
"Damn it!" They all rushed to get changed in time for class.
"Meeting immediately after school!" Oishi shouted as he yanked at his shirt.
By the lockers, there was a brief, painful collision between Fuji and Ryoma, who were both trying to open the same one. Fuji bumped Ryoma gently with his hip. "I'm you for now, Echizen. My... your locker is over there."
"But... what about classes?" Ryoma looked dubious. "Won't our teachers notice? And I haven't done my homework."
"Eiji can take you to my... your... our class," Fuji assured him. "Right, Eiji?"
"Count on me!" Eiji carolled. "Hurry and get changed, Ochibi!"
"But..."
"Echizen, do you really think the teachers would believe us?"
Ryoma had never realised his face could look that earnest.
"Until Inui comes up with an antidote or repeat of the formula, we shall simply have to make the best of it," Fuji continued. "Don't worry, I'm sure I can handle first year classes again, and as for my homework, well, I don't think that will be much of a problem."
Ryoma stared at him in confusion.
**
"Oh... you... you haven't done the homework, Fuji-kun?" Akira Nakamori was beginning to wish he hadn't come in to work that morning.
"That's right," Ryoma replied stonily, eyes fixed on his teacher's face. Nakamori edged back a little.
"D-d-do you h-have an excuse?"
"No."
Ryoma wondered why the teacher looked like he was about to panic and then shrugged internally. Whatever.
Nakamori mopped at the sweat pouring down his brown. "V-very well," his eyes shifted away. "Don't let it happen again. Go take your seat."
Ryoma had no idea why the teacher was letting him off without a punishment, but he didn't question his good fortune. Instead he decided to pay close attention to the material in class in case he was called on, frowning intently at the teacher in concentration.
Nakamori felt he'd aged a thousand years in the hour-long lesson, as Fuji's eyes burned holes in his back.
**
Seigo Moriyama was having an almost equally bad day.
Fuji stepped away from the blackboard and smiled at him. "How was that, sensei?"
"V-very good Echizen, you may return to your seat."
It was bad enough that Echizen had always been better at English, Moriyama thought, staring sickly at the perfect equations that covered the blackboard while the class muttered in awe. But did he have to now demonstrate a greater talent in his other classes as well?
"Does anyone want to attempt the next problem?"
Echizen's hand flew into the air, and Moriyama found himself wishing that the boy would hurry up and go to sleep as he usually did.
He stayed awake all lesson.
**
If it had been anyone other than Ryoma involved, Ryuzaki would have suspected a prank, especially since Fuji and Inui featured prominently in the telling of the story. But Ryoma just didn't DO that sort of thing. And she was one of the few who understood the true horror of Inui Juice...
She looked between the two boys, and then behind them at Oishi for confirmation.
"It's true Ryuzaki-sensei," he sighed. "Every word of it. Unfortunately."
Classes had ended for the day, and the Regulars were holding a rare meeting in Ryuzaki-sensei's office, while the rest of the team practiced on the courts. After classes had ended, Inui had sent his regrets via a note delivered by Kaidou that he had so far been unable to reproduce the juice, and that he would be in the chem labs until further notice and was not to be disturbed. After reading this not-particularly-encouraging message, Oishi had decided that, at the very least, their coach must be informed of the situation.
Ryuzaki looked at the two boys again. "Ryoma? Fuji?"
"Yes?" They both replied.
Ryuzaki put her head in her hands. "Kaidou, go to the chemistry labs and guard the door. Nobody is allowed to bother Inui, and HE is not allowed to leave until this is fixed. The rest of you get to the courts and practice. We'll meet back here after practice."
The team got up to leave.
"NOT YOU TWO! Fuji and Ryoma, you stay here and..." Ryuzaki slumped back in her chair. "Make me a cup of tea. With aspirin in it."
"One capsule or two?"
**
After the rest of the club had been dismissed, and the freshmen trio and associated hangers-on gently but firmly ushered off school grounds, the Regulars (including Inui) reconvened in the clubroom.
The news was not good. Although Inui had managed to mostly duplicate the mixture which had caused the bodyswap, he was completely out of one of the key ingredients, and it would take at least twenty-four hours to recreate it.
"That's it then!" Momo threw up his hands. "We're finished!"
"Not yet we're not," Ryuzaki took charge. "First of all, let's see how bad this really is. Ryoma, Fuji, go warm up. You're going to play a match against each other."
Oishi blinked in surprise. "Do you think that will work?"
"I have no idea, but it's worth a shot. They're both very talented, maybe they can adjust to the sudden change."
Ryuzaki's voice was not particularly hopeful, but the two boys dutifully assembled to play.
By the end of the match the Regulars could no longer meet each others eyes. It wasn't that the two prodigies were BAD. It was just that they were clumsy. Fuji consistently missed high shots and smashes because he couldn't judge the distance well enough. He'd pulled off a decent split step, but the twist serve seemed to be beyond him. Echizen on the other hand was both surprised and pleased at the extra strength, speed and stamina (as well as height) he now had at his disposal, but kept misjudging how much he should apply. For the first two games he'd hit every single ball out of bounds because he'd applied too much swing to the shot. They had no idea how to pace themselves in their new bodies, and were growing increasingly frustrated by the situation.
Halfway through the game they gave up attempting to emulate each others moves' and tried to use their own. This tactic worked much better, even though they had each specifically developed themselves for their own methods of play.
After Ryoma and Fuji had finished their match (6-3 win to Fuji) Ryuzaki and Oishi went off to discuss the upcoming match with identical expressions of despair on their faces. Fuji's smile was wavering and Ryoma refused all efforts at starting a conversation and glared menacingly at anyone who approached. Finally the captain and coach returned.
"Okay," Ryuzaki took a deep breath. "Here is what we are going to do for the next match. Doubles 2, Kawamura and Fuji."
Fuji and Ryoma blinked. "Which one?"
Oishi pointed at Ryoma's body. "That one. The real Fuji."
There was a mini-outcry.
"Shut up!" Ryuzaki yelled. "There's a reason."
The team quietened.
"Taka-san and Fuji have played doubles before," Oishi explained, "and have a good rhythm together. Taka-san can cover the high shots and anything too strong for Ryoma's body to handle. Fuji will have the speed to cover the front and roam in general. It's a good combination of strength and speed."
"You can count on me to protect you, Fujiko!" Kawamura roared.
Momoshirou quietly relieved him of his racket.
"There's an additional bonus," Ryuzaki continued. "The entire junior high tennis world knows Ryoma is terrible at doubles, and they'll be counting on that to break your combination. They'll have no way of knowing they're really playing Fuji. That will work to your advantage. Moving on. Doubles 1, Oishi and Kikumaru."
Everyone nodded. The Golden Pair were the obvious choice. But in that case, what about...?
"Singles 3, Momoshirou. Singles 2, Kaidou. We're relying on you two to secure the wins we need. Don't screw up."
Momo and Kaidou looked at each other and nodded grudgingly in agreement.
Ryuzaki sighed. "And finally, Singles 1, Ryoma." She looked at Fuji's body. Ryoma stared back at her steadily.
"If it comes to that just... try not to lose," she said at last.
He twitched.
Inui put up his hand. "What is my role?"
He shrunk back, sweatdropping as Ryuzaki and Oishi loomed over him.
"YOU will be spending every waking moment working on that accursed mixture until you get it RIGHT," Ryuzaki thundered.
"And if you HAVEN'T fixed this by the time Tezuka gets back," Oishi snarled, "I will make SURE that you run laps for the rest of your LIFE! That's if he DOESN'T!"
"Scaarrryyy..." Eiji whispered, hugging himself.
Oishi cleared his throat and looked a little embarrassed. "That's all for today. We'll meet tomorrow at the courts. Uh..." He looked at Ryoma and Fuji. "Will you two be okay?"
Ryoma blinked. "I think I can remember how to get back to Fuji-sempai's. Probably."
The sense of doom in the room grew bigger.
Fuji laughed, an oddly mature sound coming from Ryoma's throat. "Well that's no good. We can't have my poor, innocent kouhai wandering the streets of Tokyo in my poor, innocent body all night. Who knows what could happen to us? How's this for a plan instead? We'll go to your house first Echizen, and tell your parents you're staying over at my house for the night. That will be much easier for both of us, as we can get our homework done without any trouble, and I can check on my cacti."
Ryoma weighed up the advantages and disadvantages in his mind. On the one hand, Fuji's weird family, whom he'd only briefly glimpsed that morning on the way out. On the other hand, HIS weird family. Including his weird father. Who would probably challenge him, or rather Fuji, to a game of tennis as soon as he got home.
Fuji's family won, game, set, match.
**
"I'm home!" Fuji sang out merrily as the door to the Fuji residence swung open.
"Welcome home!" Yumiko Fuji came running out to meet them and gave him a smile. "And welcome back again, mada-mada-kun," she turned to Ryoma and pulled him into a hug. "You ran out of here so fast this morning... did you make it to school on time? I would have given you a lift if you'd slowed down."
Ryoma shot his sempai an accusing look. Fuji ignored it in favour of pouting instead. "I don't get a hug?"
Yumiko released Ryoma and mock-glared at him. "That would be rude without permission, don't you think?"
Fuji gave Ryoma a beaming, hopeful look. Ryoma winced. "Please don't look like that with my face, Fuji-sempai."
Yumiko turned the same look on him.
"Fine, hug my body then," Ryoma looked away as the siblings embraced, so he missed the evil look they shot each other afterwards.
"Group hug!" They chorused, glomping on to him.
"Ack!"
"Ah, remember when we used to do this to Yuuta?" Fuji asked happily.
"He always got so cutely ruffled," Yumiko giggled.
"I can't breathe," Ryoma choked out.
"Oops."
Reluctantly, they disengaged. "That was fun!" Fuji enthused. "Echizen, how would you like to be adopted into the Fuji family?"
"Absolutely NO WAY!" Ryoma kicked off his shoes and angrily stormed into the house. Yumiko watched him go, her eyebrows raised. She turned an inquiring look on her brother.
"Things didn't go well at his house," Fuji admitted.
"They didn't take the swap well?"
"Ah..." Fuji's smile slipped. "They didn't notice."
"You're staying at a sempai's tonight? What's the matter kiddo, not feeling up to a match?"
"Sorry, not right now."
"You'll never catch up to me with that attitude!"
"Oh, is that so? Well, we'll see."
"Hmph."
"Oh." Yumiko frowned, and looked after Ryoma thoughtfully. "That's not very nice. Are you sure we can't keep him?"
"I think his cat would object."
"Oh, well there's no arguing with cats," Yumiko sighed despairingly. "Perhaps we could work out some sort of time-share deal instead. I'll think about it some more."
"I'll leave it in your capable hands," Fuji said with a gentle smile. "In the meantime, I'd better go after him before he breaks something."
He quickly zoomed after his body, directing Ryoma into the appropriate bedroom and fussing around making sure everything was in place and giving the younger boy a minute or two to settle. Yumiko reappeared briefly with tea and snacks and then the two boys were left alone again.
Fuji swapped their schoolbags expertly and settled cross-legged on the floor to look at his homework assignments.
"Fuji-sempai," Ryoma was staring out the window quite determinedly, apparently trying to pretend that this conversation wasn't taking place. "How come your sister knew?"
"So you're one of Ryoma's sempai? It's nice to meet you! Are you in the same class as Momoshirou-kun?"
"Uh... no."
"Auntie! I'm going out for a while now. Oh hello, who is this?"
"This is one of Ryoma's sempai, Nanako. I'm afraid I didn't catch your name..."
"... Fuji Syuusuke."
"It's nice to meet you! Goodness, Karupin certainly seems to have taken a shine to you. He's usually only ever that friendly with Ryoma-san!"
"..."
"Well, it was nice meeting you! Bye Auntie, Uncle!"
"Oho, a visitor! So, I hear you're one of my brats team members... has he beaten you yet?"
"... Not yet."
"Really? How about a game then?"
"... Pass."
"Che, you're no fun. Come on, just a quick one. I'll take it easy on you."
"No."
Fuji considered for a moment before replying. "Well, Yumiko's always been very perceptive," he finally responded, somewhat vaguely.
"But I didn't even TALK to her this morning," Ryoma was looking suspicious now. "Did you call her from school? I thought this was supposed to be a secret."
"We're Fujis. We don't keep secrets from each other."
Ryoma gave him an incredulous look and Fuji's fingers twitched for his camera. He'd never expected to see an expression like that on his face before. He settled for giving Ryoma a sweet smile instead, which made the other boy shudder.
"Whatever, I don't think I want to know," Ryoma said, turning decisively to his homework and resolutely mentally filing the whole issue under the catch-all heading of 'Fuji weirdness'.
The two boys worked in silence for a while, until Fuji paused suddenly and looked over at Ryoma.
"He would have known, if you'd played."
"Huh?" Ryoma stared at him in confusion.
"Your father," Fuji elaborated. "He would have recognised you if you'd played him."
"Oh." Ryoma thought about it for a second. "Mmm."
Fuji smiled and turned back to his schoolwork.
"Oh, what's this? No history homework today? Goodness, Nakamori-sensei must have been in a very good mood!"
**
The next day the rest of the Regulars all stared hopefully at Fuji and Ryoma when they arrived together for the match.
"Good morning, everyone," Ryoma's body exclaimed cheerfully.
"What?" Fuji's body demanded in annoyance.
There was a mass sigh.
"I suppose it was too much to hope for that it would have worn off by now," Eiji said glumly.
"Well, let's just hope that no one we know will see the matches. Or tape them. Or photograph them." Oishi said, without much hope.
They all gazed around at the nearly-full stands and sighed.
"I'm going to get some Ponta," Fuji's body grumbled and wandered off.
Ryoma's trailed after him, smiling cheerfully.
The team watched them go.
"Does anybody else feel like they're in a horror movie?"
**
"Aniki. Aniki! Hey, ANIKI!"
Ryoma ignored the yelling occuring behind him and continued on towards the vending machines, only stopping when an iron grip seized the back of his shirt and yanked him around. He glared reproachfully down (down! Ha! Not the shortest anymore!) at his temporarily-Fuji-occupied body. Said body merely gave him an angelic smile and tilted his head to indicate the two boys approaching them. One of them, Ryoma suddenly realised, was Fuji's younger brother. Oh, aniki. Right. Damn.
Ryoma blinked at the younger Fuji sibling and tried to remember his name as the other boy stormed into his personal space. "Fuji-sempai's little brother" was the only thing that came to mind however, and he shot a brief, panicked look at his comrade-in-trouble.
"Hello Yuuta," Fuji piped up helpfully. "This is a surprise."
Yuuta shot the smaller boy an odd look. "That's Fuji-san to you, Echizen-kun," he corrected. "Anyway, I need a minute with my brother, so if you wouldn't mind..."
It was fairly obvious from the tightening of his mouth that Fuji DID mind, but there wasn't much he could do about it under the circumstances. Shrugging, he shot Ryoma a gentle smile that fooled no one, and walked a short distance away.
"Geez, what's with him today?" Yuuta wondered out loud, staring after Ryoma's body.
"He's not himself at the moment," Ryoma said blandly. Then he winced. Damn it, this Fuji-thing was CATCHING. Horrified at his unintentional display, he completely missed the next few comments from Yuuta and the other guy.
"What? Did you want something?" He finally asked when he became aware of their presence again.
"Tch, such inattendance. I find it oddly typical of you, Fuji Syuusuke. Still, despite our rivalry, I hope your focus will be on the game ahead of you. I would be disappointed if you were to fall to such an opponent as this." The other boy made a moue of distaste at Seigaku's opponents.
Ryoma blinked at him. "Rivalry? With you? I don't remember anything like that." He shot a look over at Fuji, who was too far away to give him any hints. "Um... who are you again?"
"Aniki, you know PERFECTLY WELL that this is Mizuki-san. MIZUKI-SAN!!!" Yuuta growled. Honestly, this joke of his brother's about forgetting Mizuki-san's name was getting old.
"Oh, yeah. The guy with all the purple shirts," Ryoma said vaguely. "I remember. Didn't you lose against Fu... um... us?"
Mizuki twitched. "How calm you are to pretend not to remember me, your ultimate rival! Fuji Syuusuke, be assured that I haven't forgotten my humiliation at your hands. I have been practicing..."
Ryoma rapidly lost interest in the other boy and tuned him out with the long-practiced ease of someone who spent a great deal of their time around Horio. Instead he turned his attention to Yuuta and examined the other boy critically from head to toe. Hmmm... looked like somebody had been doing some serious muscle-training. That could be interesting.
He looked speculatively at Yuuta's well-developed biceps.
"ANIKI!" Ryoma vaguely remembered that that was supposed to be him and transferred his gaze to Yuuta's face, which was now beet-red. "Are you paying attention to anything we're saying?!"
"No," Ryoma replied bluntly and without shame. "Hey, why don't we play another game? You look like you've gotten stronger."
Yuuta stared at him speechlessly, his face growing even redder. Ryoma wondered what was up with that.
"Oh, not today though," he added hastily, suddenly remembering in whose body he was. "Today's no good. Some other time."
"Ochi... ahaha... Fujiiiii..." Eiji suddenly materialised beside him as if summoned by magic (or by someone who had seen a potential disaster looming which was neither particularly amusing nor aimed at someone they disliked). "Come on, it's almost time for the game to start."
"But I haven't gotten my drink yet," Ryoma focused on the important item.
"Fu... nyaa! I mean, Echizen got you one," Eiji was sweating a bit nervously, his eyes darting backwards and forwards between Mizuki and Yuuta. "So you have to come back right now! Oishi's orders!"
Ryoma grumped, but obediently cooperated as Eiji dragged him away. Turning his head he called over his shoulder, "Catch you later, Fu... er... my own little brother. And... um, whatever your name was!"
There was an explosion of shouting from the two outraged boys, but fortunately Momo arrived at that point and between himself and Eiji managed to haul Ryoma back to the dubious safety of the team. Ryoma promptly forgot the entire encounter in favour of his goal - the can of ponta that Fuji was holding out to him, a broad and somewhat spooky grin on his face. Snatching it up, he opened it and took a deep gulp. Then frowned, and took a deeper one.
"What on earth did you say to that Mizuki guy?" Momo demanded. "He was practically frothing at the mouth!"
Ryoma gave him a look that clearly said he had no idea what Momo was talking about.
Fuji just smiled and glomped on to Ryoma. "You're such a good little kouhai," he murmured.
Ryoma growled and ruffled Fuji's hair.
"Hey!" Fuji put his hands up to protect himself. "That hurts!"
"See how you like it," Ryoma said grouchily. He took another sip and glared at the can. "Fuji-sempai, what have you been EATING all your life? I can't TASTE anything!"
"I knew it," Momo grumbled. "No wonder he has no problems with Inui Juice. All his tastebuds are dead."
Fuji laughed merrily and plotted revenge. Then he winced and massaged the muscles of his borrowed face.
"Is something wrong?" Oishi asked him anxiously, "Are you in pain?"
"Mmm... something like that. Echizen doesn't smile very much," Fuji mused, rubbing his jaw. "His muscles aren't used to it. Ouch."
"This sucks," Ryoma grumbled, putting down his drink. "And if you guys all win, I won't even get to play today!"
Momo cuffed him upside the head. "Hey, don't wish misfortune on your team-mates!"
"Momoshirou! How dare you treat a sempai so disrespectfully!" Kaidou roared. Then he paused and blinked in confusion.
The rest of the team exchanged glances.
"Um, but does it count if it's Echizen in a sempai's body?" Momo asked, nervously switching his gaze between Ryoma and Fuji.
"Yes," said Ryoma.
"I don't think so," said Fuji at the same time.
The resulting debate succeeded only in confusing everyone further. In the end, it was something of a relief when they were called to order for the game.
**
When the Seigaku Doubles Two pair strode on to the courts, there was an outbreak of surprised whispers and murmurs from all watchers.
"What the hell is Echizen doing in doubles?! Are they completely INSANE?!! He's AWFUL!!"
And one or two shrieks of disbelief.
"Don't do it, Seigaku! There are easier ways to commit suicide!"
"Yeah, you can always just default!"
And horror, there was definitely some horror in there too.
"HORAAAA!~"
But, as usual, once there was a racquet in his hand there was no dampening Kawamura's burning spirit!
"BE QUIET ALL OF YOU!!! WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF THE TRUE SPIRIT WITHIN THIS SMALL BODY?! FEAR NOT, FUJI! WE SHALL SHOW THEM OUR STRENGTH!! BURNING!!!"
There was a brief silence.
"Well, so much for keeping it a secret," Momo sighed.
Fuji coughed and gave Kawamura a meaningful look. The taller boy blinked and then realised what he'd said.
"UH, I MEANT, 'FEAR NOT, ECHIZEN'! BECAUSE THAT IS WHO YOU ARE! ECHIZEN! NOT FUJI IN ECHIZEN'S BODY, NO, THAT WOULD BE SILLY!! YOU ARE MOST DEFINITELY ECHIZEN, YES!"
Oishi buried his face in his hands.
"Oh my god, they really ARE crazy!"
**
Four games in the tone of the murmurs had evolved into amazement and wonder at the unusually smooth doubles play of Kawamura and "Echizen". As Ryuzaki had predicted, their long familiarity at playing together, natural strengths and skills, and Fuji's ability to adapt, soon had their opponents on the run. All of the usual tricks which opened division between doubles pairs had been tried, and had all failed miserably. There had been a brief spike of tension early in the second game when "Echizen" seemed to become angry at his doubles partner, but it had soon proved to be a ploy to lure their opponents into overconfidence and disaster. Oishi had twitched rather a lot when that little trick was revealed, but it wasn't totally out of character for Echizen, so he had chosen to let it go.
In fact, the only real problem that could be said to exist was that the pair seemed to be, well, TOO good together. They were friendly. Obviously in tune with each other. Actually, the duo were pretty amiable and harmonious in general, which was beginning to raise some eyebrows.
"Fuji," Eiji hissed during the end-change after the fifth game. "You need to say THAT!"
"What?" Fuji looked confused.
"THAT!"
Fuji paused in confusion as his teammates made various meaningful gestures while the umpire wasn't looking and then nodded. "Oh yes. Ahem." He cleared his throat and pointed his racquet at their opponents.
"Mada mada da ne."
Momo shook his head. "Needs to be more bratty," he muttered through the fence.
"But cute," Eiji added in a stage-whisper. "With, um, more arrogance in it."
"Mada MADA da ne."
"Better. Try to be more irritating about it, next time."
Nearby, Ryoma glared furiously and plotted revenge.
**
Finally the doubles match came to an end with victory for Seigaku. The Regulars all cheered loudly (more with relief than anything else), and then settled down to focus on the rest of the matches, disaster apparently averted. The Golden Pair swept their matches without faltering, nervous energy boosting Kikumaru's acrobatics to new heights. Momoshirou battled a strong opponent in Singles 3 with furious tenacity, but was finally defeated in a very narrow 7-6 loss. Kaidou then threw everything he had and more at his own opponent and managed to secure the crucial win that would ensure that Seigaku would continue to advance through the competition. And that, as the saying goes, was that.
Or not.
"It turns out," Oishi said hollowly. "That the tournament officials have decided that all games should be played, in order to give all players the opportunity to hone their skills."
"And display them to all the recruiters and sponsors who have been invited," Ryuzaki added sourly. "I thought there were too many people in the audience."
The Regulars stared at her helplessly.
"Can't we sub Inui-sempai in?" Momo asked hopefully.
Oishi shook his head. "We didn't list him in our line-up, and anyway he's still in the labs at school trying to fix this mess. We'd never get him here in time."
"But, but..." Eiji said. "That means... Echizen has to play!"
All eyes turned to their youngest teammate, who had remained seated on the bench during this revelation, his eyes fixed firmly on the ground.
Slowly, Echizen stood up and stretched to Fuji's full height. Grabbing his racquet he slung it onto one shoulder and began to head for the warm-up court. As he passed his teammates, he paused before Fuji and snapped his gaze up to meet his sempai's. Burning blue eyes gazed into calm, golden ones. Then Echizen shut his eyes firmly and smiled.
"Don't worry, Fuji-sempai," he said, reaching out and reclaiming his cap. "I won't make you look bad."
Grinning viciously, he put his cap on and tugged it down firmly, before striding onto the courts.
Eiji clutched Oishi tightly, "Scary!"
"Ah, it would seem we've created a monster," Fuji said mildly.
"Don't be so calm about this! And what do you mean 'WE'?!!"
**
After Echizen had finished crushing his opponent and had gone off to find a vending machine that sold something stronger and more flavoursome than grape ponta (although what that could be no one could imagine), Fuji wandered off to find out what people were saying about 'his' performance. Technically he should be helping pack up like all the other first-years, but Kaidou had developed a nasty tick whenever the issue of sempai-kouhai duties and who was due what under the current circumstances was brought up and rather than watch him burst a blood vessel Ryuzaki had excused 'Echizen' from his duties. Personally, Fuji found it rather endearing.
Still, it was just as much fun to listen to people discuss him when they didn't know he was listening, so...
"Aniki."
Fuji turned, and then hesitated. "Yes, Yuuta?"
Yuuta frowned at him. "I thought something was up. That really is you, isn't it?"
Fuji gave him a limpid smile. "I can explain."
Yuuta covered his eyes. "Please don't. I don't really want to know. Just tell me that whatever it is will be finished by next weekend."
Fuji's face lit up. "You're coming home next weekend?"
Yuuta nodded jerkily.
Fuji gave a real smile and moved closer. "I promise, everything will be back to normal by then."
Yuuta let out a sigh of relief. "Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and convince myself that this is all a dream."
"Sweet dreams~."
"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"
**
On their return to school for the usual post-match discussion and celebration the team was met by Inui, who was waving two noxiously smoking beakers triumphantly. For the first time in history this sight was greeted with cheers and an abrupt rush TOWARDS the drinks, instead of in the opposite direction.
"Safe at last," Momoshirou sighed as Echizen and Fuji clinked the beakers together ceremoniously, gulped the contents, and promptly passed out.
"We'll celebrate properly when Tezuka gets back," Oishi promised the team as the release of stress from the previous couple of days made the post-match exhaustion kick in extra hard. "We could go out on Monday night, perhaps."
"Great idea," Kawamura yawned. "Momo, do you need some help getting Echizen home?"
With yawns and waves, the team broke up to deliver their soon-to-be-restored friends and go home to sleep the sleep of the just and victorious.
**
The next day dawned bright and early. So did most of the Regulars, who found themselves converging for practice well ahead of the normal time, and nervously waiting for their missing comrades.
"But you're absolutely sure it was the right formula, aren't you?" Oishi was asking Inui for the eighteenth time, when he was interupted by the arrival of Fuji.
"Fuji!" Eiji glomped his friend cheerfully. "Uh, it IS you, isn't it?"
"In the flesh," Fuji replied with a smile.
Everyone sighed in relief.
"And just before Buchou gets back, we're saved!" Momoshirou threw up his hands in triumph.
"Excellent, then the experiment was a success," Inui nodded in satisfaction.
"Ah..."
Everyone looked at Fuji, who seemed to be... sweatdropping?
"Well, there was ONE minor problem," Fuji said carefully, his mouth twitching in amusement. "An unintentional mistake I'm sure. You really should be more careful about these things, Inui."
The clubroom door opened again and Echizen walked in, face expressionless.
"So, what was the problem?" Oishi asked, looking from one boy to the other. "You're both back, right?"
Fuji coughed, "Not... exactly."
Echizen's gaze was frosty as he stared at his teammates.
"Ochibi-chan?" Eiji asked, nervously. "What's the matter?"
Echizen's eyes narrowed.
"I'm disappointed. You were supposed to play WITHOUT carelessness," he said coldly. "All of you, one hundred laps around the courts."
They gaped at him.
"It seems Tezuka got back a day early," Fuji said delicately. "And came in to check on things. And got thirsty while he was doing so. Inui, you REALLY shouldn't leave your drinks lying around like that. Echizen is very upset."
'Echizen' glanced over at Fuji. "Have you found him yet?"
"He's about an hour away," Fuji reassured him. "He wasn't sure how to get here from your house and took the wrong bus, but we know where he is and my sister's gone to pick him up."
Tezuka nodded and turned his gaze back to the rest of the Regulars, who were staring at him in horror and fear, and noticeably NOT running.
"One hundred and ten laps!" He snarled.
Everyone dashed out the door as quickly as possible, pausing only to catch his final shout.
"Inui! You do TWO hundred."
"When will this end?" Eiji wailed despairingly as they began to run. "We're doomed!"
"Hmm," Fuji said thoughtfully.
"Hmm? Is that all you can say?"
"Mmm," As they passed the clubroom Fuji held up a hand and the others all halted, jogging in place as he addressed Echizen's body, which was watching them sternly.
"Tezuka," Fuji said innocently. "I was just wondering: if all of the Regulars have to run laps for carelessness, does that include Echizen? And, if so, which body is going to run?"
They all got forty extra laps for collapsing in hysterical laughter, but it was generally agreed to have been worth it.
The End
Title: Freaky Fuji
Rating: G, Humour
Pairings/Warnings: None
Word count: 6,381
Spoilers: Up to about volume 19. Since we're past that in the Viz translations, I don't think it really counts as a spoiler anymore.
Setting: In a totally made up series of games just before Tezuka's return
Disclaimer: Not mine. Prince of Tennis created by Konomi Takeshi.
Summary: Inui's Juice once again leaves disaster and havoc in its wake.
Title: Freaky Fuji
Rating: G, Humour
Pairings/Warnings: None
Set: Just before Tezuka's return
Disclaimer: Not mine. Prince of Tennis created by Konomi Takeshi.
**
The first sign that something was about to go horribly wrong that Friday was when Echizen collapsed after drinking Inui's newest juice creation. This was not entirely unprecedented however, so although the others regarded it warily, they saw no need to panic.
The second sign that something was about to go horribly wrong was when Fuji collapsed after drinking it.
The rest of the Regulars instantly fled the tennis courts, some of them screaming in horror. Finally Oishi returned, with a cowering Momoshirou and Kikumaru urging him on, and insisted that Inui dump this particular batch of juice. (While a good idea in principle, this would later come back to haunt them.) Practice then resumed for another hour, before the team broke up early for the day, in order to deliver their still-unconcious friends to their respective homes.
The third sign arrived the next day, in the form of a now-recovered, gently-smiling Echizen, who sailed into practice on time and proceeded to toy with Momo on Court B, hitting easily but missing any returns that went high. In-between shots, he peppered Momo with questions that had the older boy blushing furiously through the whole match.
"But Momo-chan, you MUST have kissed a girl by now."
"Shut up Echizen! Mind your own business!"
The shoe finally dropped when Fuji, eyes fully open, stomped into practice half an hour late, approached Inui and said flatly, "Inui-sempai, would you please undo this and put me back in my proper body."
In the long silence that followed, everyone turned to view their Ochibi, who sighed and pouted.
"Oh Echizen, you spoiled my fun."
At this point, chaos erupted.
**
"You've SWAPPED BODIES?" Momo repeated for the third time.
"Yes," Echizen-in-Fuji's body replied. "I keep telling you that, Momo-sempai."
"It's true," Fuji-in-Echizen's body backed him up. "I woke up this morning in a room not my own and I was like this." He turned to face his own body, holding up a bandaged finger. "By the way, I don't think your cat likes me."
"This is too weird," Eiji said, alternating between staring at both boys. "Ochibi is Fuji and Fuji is Ochibi!"
Now that the secret was out, it was plain to see that the minds (or souls or WHATEVER) of the two boys had been switched, as they continued to act normally (for themselves). Neither of them seemed too bothered by the whole incident so far, but both of them gave the impression of people whose patience had a distinct limit.
No one really wanted to know when they'd hit that limit.
"Interesting," Inui made a note. "I wonder how being in a different body will affect their tennis skills. This is all good data."
"DON'T GO CALLING IT GOOD DATA LIKE IT'S AN ACCIDENT!" Momo yelled in exasperation. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
"Now, now, there's no point in panicking," Fuji said placatingly. "I'm sure Inui didn't mean this to happen." He opened his eyes and regarded the taller man with a golden stare. "DID you, Inui?"
Inui swallowed slightly nervously, "Ah, no."
Fuji shut his eyes again and gave him a serene smile. "Then all is well."
"Whatever," Echizen put in. "Can you reverse it now please? We have to get to class soon."
"Now, now, there's no need to hurry," Fuji said cheerfully. "It's rather interesting, being you. Perhaps we could wait until after school? It is only a half-day, after all."
Echizen glared at his impudently smiling body. "No way."
"Well," Inui began, making frantic notes. "Logically, if the juice swapped you both the first time after you became unconcious, if you both drank it again it SHOULD switch you back."
Both Fuji and Echizen shuddered at the memory of their last session with the drink.
Echizen swallowed nervously. "Fine, whatever. I don't care. Someone's going to have to tell the teacher I'm too sick for class though."
"Ah, actually," Inui coughed. "I regret that, after your bad reactions last night, I was prevailed upon to expunge that particular experiment."
"... what?"
Oishi, Momo and Eiji looked nervous. "We made him throw it all away..." Eiji mumbled.
Fuji and Echizen blinked and exchanged vaguely concerned looks.
"How long will it take to make a new batch?" Echizen asked finally.
Inui hid his answer in a cough.
"Was that, 'I don't know', Inui?" Fuji asked dangerously.
Inui coughed again.
Echizen looked sick. "You mean... we're stuck like this? But... we have a match tomorrow!"
Momo blanched. "The match! I nearly forgot about it!"
Behind him, the other Regulars were exchanging panicked looks.
"It's bad enough with Tezuka being gone," Kawamura said out loud. "What are we going to do if neither Echizen or Fujiko-chan can play?"
Oishi had gone white. "Tezuka..."
"Don't worry Oishi," Eiji hastened to reassure him. "I told you we'll help you keep your promise to Buchou! We won't lose!"
"No, it's that..." Oishi looked as though he were about to pass out. "I received an e-mail from him yesterday. He's... he's coming back!"
"WHAT?"
"When?" Fuji demanded.
"M-Monday," Oishi stuttered. "I was planning to tell you before the match, to bolster your spirits and give you a greater desire to win. But if Tezuka comes back and finds out about this..."
Stunned silence prevailed.
"This is not good," Momo murmured. "Not good at all."
Even Kaidou looked panicked.
"We'll be running laps for EVER!" Eiji wailed. "I-NU-IIII!!! You have to DO something!"
Inui looked at the rest of the Regulars, who were all staring at him with a mix of desperation and annoyance. "I... that is... uh..."
"Laps," Oishi warned sternly.
"Wasabi sushi," Momo threatened.
"Aozu!" Eiji shouted menacingly.
Fuji just smiled at him.
"I'll get right on it," Inui said weakly. "Please rely on me."
The group muttered and then jumped when the first bell warning for classes started.
"Damn it!" They all rushed to get changed in time for class.
"Meeting immediately after school!" Oishi shouted as he yanked at his shirt.
By the lockers, there was a brief, painful collision between Fuji and Ryoma, who were both trying to open the same one. Fuji bumped Ryoma gently with his hip. "I'm you for now, Echizen. My... your locker is over there."
"But... what about classes?" Ryoma looked dubious. "Won't our teachers notice? And I haven't done my homework."
"Eiji can take you to my... your... our class," Fuji assured him. "Right, Eiji?"
"Count on me!" Eiji carolled. "Hurry and get changed, Ochibi!"
"But..."
"Echizen, do you really think the teachers would believe us?"
Ryoma had never realised his face could look that earnest.
"Until Inui comes up with an antidote or repeat of the formula, we shall simply have to make the best of it," Fuji continued. "Don't worry, I'm sure I can handle first year classes again, and as for my homework, well, I don't think that will be much of a problem."
Ryoma stared at him in confusion.
**
"Oh... you... you haven't done the homework, Fuji-kun?" Akira Nakamori was beginning to wish he hadn't come in to work that morning.
"That's right," Ryoma replied stonily, eyes fixed on his teacher's face. Nakamori edged back a little.
"D-d-do you h-have an excuse?"
"No."
Ryoma wondered why the teacher looked like he was about to panic and then shrugged internally. Whatever.
Nakamori mopped at the sweat pouring down his brown. "V-very well," his eyes shifted away. "Don't let it happen again. Go take your seat."
Ryoma had no idea why the teacher was letting him off without a punishment, but he didn't question his good fortune. Instead he decided to pay close attention to the material in class in case he was called on, frowning intently at the teacher in concentration.
Nakamori felt he'd aged a thousand years in the hour-long lesson, as Fuji's eyes burned holes in his back.
**
Seigo Moriyama was having an almost equally bad day.
Fuji stepped away from the blackboard and smiled at him. "How was that, sensei?"
"V-very good Echizen, you may return to your seat."
It was bad enough that Echizen had always been better at English, Moriyama thought, staring sickly at the perfect equations that covered the blackboard while the class muttered in awe. But did he have to now demonstrate a greater talent in his other classes as well?
"Does anyone want to attempt the next problem?"
Echizen's hand flew into the air, and Moriyama found himself wishing that the boy would hurry up and go to sleep as he usually did.
He stayed awake all lesson.
**
If it had been anyone other than Ryoma involved, Ryuzaki would have suspected a prank, especially since Fuji and Inui featured prominently in the telling of the story. But Ryoma just didn't DO that sort of thing. And she was one of the few who understood the true horror of Inui Juice...
She looked between the two boys, and then behind them at Oishi for confirmation.
"It's true Ryuzaki-sensei," he sighed. "Every word of it. Unfortunately."
Classes had ended for the day, and the Regulars were holding a rare meeting in Ryuzaki-sensei's office, while the rest of the team practiced on the courts. After classes had ended, Inui had sent his regrets via a note delivered by Kaidou that he had so far been unable to reproduce the juice, and that he would be in the chem labs until further notice and was not to be disturbed. After reading this not-particularly-encouraging message, Oishi had decided that, at the very least, their coach must be informed of the situation.
Ryuzaki looked at the two boys again. "Ryoma? Fuji?"
"Yes?" They both replied.
Ryuzaki put her head in her hands. "Kaidou, go to the chemistry labs and guard the door. Nobody is allowed to bother Inui, and HE is not allowed to leave until this is fixed. The rest of you get to the courts and practice. We'll meet back here after practice."
The team got up to leave.
"NOT YOU TWO! Fuji and Ryoma, you stay here and..." Ryuzaki slumped back in her chair. "Make me a cup of tea. With aspirin in it."
"One capsule or two?"
**
After the rest of the club had been dismissed, and the freshmen trio and associated hangers-on gently but firmly ushered off school grounds, the Regulars (including Inui) reconvened in the clubroom.
The news was not good. Although Inui had managed to mostly duplicate the mixture which had caused the bodyswap, he was completely out of one of the key ingredients, and it would take at least twenty-four hours to recreate it.
"That's it then!" Momo threw up his hands. "We're finished!"
"Not yet we're not," Ryuzaki took charge. "First of all, let's see how bad this really is. Ryoma, Fuji, go warm up. You're going to play a match against each other."
Oishi blinked in surprise. "Do you think that will work?"
"I have no idea, but it's worth a shot. They're both very talented, maybe they can adjust to the sudden change."
Ryuzaki's voice was not particularly hopeful, but the two boys dutifully assembled to play.
By the end of the match the Regulars could no longer meet each others eyes. It wasn't that the two prodigies were BAD. It was just that they were clumsy. Fuji consistently missed high shots and smashes because he couldn't judge the distance well enough. He'd pulled off a decent split step, but the twist serve seemed to be beyond him. Echizen on the other hand was both surprised and pleased at the extra strength, speed and stamina (as well as height) he now had at his disposal, but kept misjudging how much he should apply. For the first two games he'd hit every single ball out of bounds because he'd applied too much swing to the shot. They had no idea how to pace themselves in their new bodies, and were growing increasingly frustrated by the situation.
Halfway through the game they gave up attempting to emulate each others moves' and tried to use their own. This tactic worked much better, even though they had each specifically developed themselves for their own methods of play.
After Ryoma and Fuji had finished their match (6-3 win to Fuji) Ryuzaki and Oishi went off to discuss the upcoming match with identical expressions of despair on their faces. Fuji's smile was wavering and Ryoma refused all efforts at starting a conversation and glared menacingly at anyone who approached. Finally the captain and coach returned.
"Okay," Ryuzaki took a deep breath. "Here is what we are going to do for the next match. Doubles 2, Kawamura and Fuji."
Fuji and Ryoma blinked. "Which one?"
Oishi pointed at Ryoma's body. "That one. The real Fuji."
There was a mini-outcry.
"Shut up!" Ryuzaki yelled. "There's a reason."
The team quietened.
"Taka-san and Fuji have played doubles before," Oishi explained, "and have a good rhythm together. Taka-san can cover the high shots and anything too strong for Ryoma's body to handle. Fuji will have the speed to cover the front and roam in general. It's a good combination of strength and speed."
"You can count on me to protect you, Fujiko!" Kawamura roared.
Momoshirou quietly relieved him of his racket.
"There's an additional bonus," Ryuzaki continued. "The entire junior high tennis world knows Ryoma is terrible at doubles, and they'll be counting on that to break your combination. They'll have no way of knowing they're really playing Fuji. That will work to your advantage. Moving on. Doubles 1, Oishi and Kikumaru."
Everyone nodded. The Golden Pair were the obvious choice. But in that case, what about...?
"Singles 3, Momoshirou. Singles 2, Kaidou. We're relying on you two to secure the wins we need. Don't screw up."
Momo and Kaidou looked at each other and nodded grudgingly in agreement.
Ryuzaki sighed. "And finally, Singles 1, Ryoma." She looked at Fuji's body. Ryoma stared back at her steadily.
"If it comes to that just... try not to lose," she said at last.
He twitched.
Inui put up his hand. "What is my role?"
He shrunk back, sweatdropping as Ryuzaki and Oishi loomed over him.
"YOU will be spending every waking moment working on that accursed mixture until you get it RIGHT," Ryuzaki thundered.
"And if you HAVEN'T fixed this by the time Tezuka gets back," Oishi snarled, "I will make SURE that you run laps for the rest of your LIFE! That's if he DOESN'T!"
"Scaarrryyy..." Eiji whispered, hugging himself.
Oishi cleared his throat and looked a little embarrassed. "That's all for today. We'll meet tomorrow at the courts. Uh..." He looked at Ryoma and Fuji. "Will you two be okay?"
Ryoma blinked. "I think I can remember how to get back to Fuji-sempai's. Probably."
The sense of doom in the room grew bigger.
Fuji laughed, an oddly mature sound coming from Ryoma's throat. "Well that's no good. We can't have my poor, innocent kouhai wandering the streets of Tokyo in my poor, innocent body all night. Who knows what could happen to us? How's this for a plan instead? We'll go to your house first Echizen, and tell your parents you're staying over at my house for the night. That will be much easier for both of us, as we can get our homework done without any trouble, and I can check on my cacti."
Ryoma weighed up the advantages and disadvantages in his mind. On the one hand, Fuji's weird family, whom he'd only briefly glimpsed that morning on the way out. On the other hand, HIS weird family. Including his weird father. Who would probably challenge him, or rather Fuji, to a game of tennis as soon as he got home.
Fuji's family won, game, set, match.
**
"I'm home!" Fuji sang out merrily as the door to the Fuji residence swung open.
"Welcome home!" Yumiko Fuji came running out to meet them and gave him a smile. "And welcome back again, mada-mada-kun," she turned to Ryoma and pulled him into a hug. "You ran out of here so fast this morning... did you make it to school on time? I would have given you a lift if you'd slowed down."
Ryoma shot his sempai an accusing look. Fuji ignored it in favour of pouting instead. "I don't get a hug?"
Yumiko released Ryoma and mock-glared at him. "That would be rude without permission, don't you think?"
Fuji gave Ryoma a beaming, hopeful look. Ryoma winced. "Please don't look like that with my face, Fuji-sempai."
Yumiko turned the same look on him.
"Fine, hug my body then," Ryoma looked away as the siblings embraced, so he missed the evil look they shot each other afterwards.
"Group hug!" They chorused, glomping on to him.
"Ack!"
"Ah, remember when we used to do this to Yuuta?" Fuji asked happily.
"He always got so cutely ruffled," Yumiko giggled.
"I can't breathe," Ryoma choked out.
"Oops."
Reluctantly, they disengaged. "That was fun!" Fuji enthused. "Echizen, how would you like to be adopted into the Fuji family?"
"Absolutely NO WAY!" Ryoma kicked off his shoes and angrily stormed into the house. Yumiko watched him go, her eyebrows raised. She turned an inquiring look on her brother.
"Things didn't go well at his house," Fuji admitted.
"They didn't take the swap well?"
"Ah..." Fuji's smile slipped. "They didn't notice."
"You're staying at a sempai's tonight? What's the matter kiddo, not feeling up to a match?"
"Sorry, not right now."
"You'll never catch up to me with that attitude!"
"Oh, is that so? Well, we'll see."
"Hmph."
"Oh." Yumiko frowned, and looked after Ryoma thoughtfully. "That's not very nice. Are you sure we can't keep him?"
"I think his cat would object."
"Oh, well there's no arguing with cats," Yumiko sighed despairingly. "Perhaps we could work out some sort of time-share deal instead. I'll think about it some more."
"I'll leave it in your capable hands," Fuji said with a gentle smile. "In the meantime, I'd better go after him before he breaks something."
He quickly zoomed after his body, directing Ryoma into the appropriate bedroom and fussing around making sure everything was in place and giving the younger boy a minute or two to settle. Yumiko reappeared briefly with tea and snacks and then the two boys were left alone again.
Fuji swapped their schoolbags expertly and settled cross-legged on the floor to look at his homework assignments.
"Fuji-sempai," Ryoma was staring out the window quite determinedly, apparently trying to pretend that this conversation wasn't taking place. "How come your sister knew?"
"So you're one of Ryoma's sempai? It's nice to meet you! Are you in the same class as Momoshirou-kun?"
"Uh... no."
"Auntie! I'm going out for a while now. Oh hello, who is this?"
"This is one of Ryoma's sempai, Nanako. I'm afraid I didn't catch your name..."
"... Fuji Syuusuke."
"It's nice to meet you! Goodness, Karupin certainly seems to have taken a shine to you. He's usually only ever that friendly with Ryoma-san!"
"..."
"Well, it was nice meeting you! Bye Auntie, Uncle!"
"Oho, a visitor! So, I hear you're one of my brats team members... has he beaten you yet?"
"... Not yet."
"Really? How about a game then?"
"... Pass."
"Che, you're no fun. Come on, just a quick one. I'll take it easy on you."
"No."
Fuji considered for a moment before replying. "Well, Yumiko's always been very perceptive," he finally responded, somewhat vaguely.
"But I didn't even TALK to her this morning," Ryoma was looking suspicious now. "Did you call her from school? I thought this was supposed to be a secret."
"We're Fujis. We don't keep secrets from each other."
Ryoma gave him an incredulous look and Fuji's fingers twitched for his camera. He'd never expected to see an expression like that on his face before. He settled for giving Ryoma a sweet smile instead, which made the other boy shudder.
"Whatever, I don't think I want to know," Ryoma said, turning decisively to his homework and resolutely mentally filing the whole issue under the catch-all heading of 'Fuji weirdness'.
The two boys worked in silence for a while, until Fuji paused suddenly and looked over at Ryoma.
"He would have known, if you'd played."
"Huh?" Ryoma stared at him in confusion.
"Your father," Fuji elaborated. "He would have recognised you if you'd played him."
"Oh." Ryoma thought about it for a second. "Mmm."
Fuji smiled and turned back to his schoolwork.
"Oh, what's this? No history homework today? Goodness, Nakamori-sensei must have been in a very good mood!"
**
The next day the rest of the Regulars all stared hopefully at Fuji and Ryoma when they arrived together for the match.
"Good morning, everyone," Ryoma's body exclaimed cheerfully.
"What?" Fuji's body demanded in annoyance.
There was a mass sigh.
"I suppose it was too much to hope for that it would have worn off by now," Eiji said glumly.
"Well, let's just hope that no one we know will see the matches. Or tape them. Or photograph them." Oishi said, without much hope.
They all gazed around at the nearly-full stands and sighed.
"I'm going to get some Ponta," Fuji's body grumbled and wandered off.
Ryoma's trailed after him, smiling cheerfully.
The team watched them go.
"Does anybody else feel like they're in a horror movie?"
**
"Aniki. Aniki! Hey, ANIKI!"
Ryoma ignored the yelling occuring behind him and continued on towards the vending machines, only stopping when an iron grip seized the back of his shirt and yanked him around. He glared reproachfully down (down! Ha! Not the shortest anymore!) at his temporarily-Fuji-occupied body. Said body merely gave him an angelic smile and tilted his head to indicate the two boys approaching them. One of them, Ryoma suddenly realised, was Fuji's younger brother. Oh, aniki. Right. Damn.
Ryoma blinked at the younger Fuji sibling and tried to remember his name as the other boy stormed into his personal space. "Fuji-sempai's little brother" was the only thing that came to mind however, and he shot a brief, panicked look at his comrade-in-trouble.
"Hello Yuuta," Fuji piped up helpfully. "This is a surprise."
Yuuta shot the smaller boy an odd look. "That's Fuji-san to you, Echizen-kun," he corrected. "Anyway, I need a minute with my brother, so if you wouldn't mind..."
It was fairly obvious from the tightening of his mouth that Fuji DID mind, but there wasn't much he could do about it under the circumstances. Shrugging, he shot Ryoma a gentle smile that fooled no one, and walked a short distance away.
"Geez, what's with him today?" Yuuta wondered out loud, staring after Ryoma's body.
"He's not himself at the moment," Ryoma said blandly. Then he winced. Damn it, this Fuji-thing was CATCHING. Horrified at his unintentional display, he completely missed the next few comments from Yuuta and the other guy.
"What? Did you want something?" He finally asked when he became aware of their presence again.
"Tch, such inattendance. I find it oddly typical of you, Fuji Syuusuke. Still, despite our rivalry, I hope your focus will be on the game ahead of you. I would be disappointed if you were to fall to such an opponent as this." The other boy made a moue of distaste at Seigaku's opponents.
Ryoma blinked at him. "Rivalry? With you? I don't remember anything like that." He shot a look over at Fuji, who was too far away to give him any hints. "Um... who are you again?"
"Aniki, you know PERFECTLY WELL that this is Mizuki-san. MIZUKI-SAN!!!" Yuuta growled. Honestly, this joke of his brother's about forgetting Mizuki-san's name was getting old.
"Oh, yeah. The guy with all the purple shirts," Ryoma said vaguely. "I remember. Didn't you lose against Fu... um... us?"
Mizuki twitched. "How calm you are to pretend not to remember me, your ultimate rival! Fuji Syuusuke, be assured that I haven't forgotten my humiliation at your hands. I have been practicing..."
Ryoma rapidly lost interest in the other boy and tuned him out with the long-practiced ease of someone who spent a great deal of their time around Horio. Instead he turned his attention to Yuuta and examined the other boy critically from head to toe. Hmmm... looked like somebody had been doing some serious muscle-training. That could be interesting.
He looked speculatively at Yuuta's well-developed biceps.
"ANIKI!" Ryoma vaguely remembered that that was supposed to be him and transferred his gaze to Yuuta's face, which was now beet-red. "Are you paying attention to anything we're saying?!"
"No," Ryoma replied bluntly and without shame. "Hey, why don't we play another game? You look like you've gotten stronger."
Yuuta stared at him speechlessly, his face growing even redder. Ryoma wondered what was up with that.
"Oh, not today though," he added hastily, suddenly remembering in whose body he was. "Today's no good. Some other time."
"Ochi... ahaha... Fujiiiii..." Eiji suddenly materialised beside him as if summoned by magic (or by someone who had seen a potential disaster looming which was neither particularly amusing nor aimed at someone they disliked). "Come on, it's almost time for the game to start."
"But I haven't gotten my drink yet," Ryoma focused on the important item.
"Fu... nyaa! I mean, Echizen got you one," Eiji was sweating a bit nervously, his eyes darting backwards and forwards between Mizuki and Yuuta. "So you have to come back right now! Oishi's orders!"
Ryoma grumped, but obediently cooperated as Eiji dragged him away. Turning his head he called over his shoulder, "Catch you later, Fu... er... my own little brother. And... um, whatever your name was!"
There was an explosion of shouting from the two outraged boys, but fortunately Momo arrived at that point and between himself and Eiji managed to haul Ryoma back to the dubious safety of the team. Ryoma promptly forgot the entire encounter in favour of his goal - the can of ponta that Fuji was holding out to him, a broad and somewhat spooky grin on his face. Snatching it up, he opened it and took a deep gulp. Then frowned, and took a deeper one.
"What on earth did you say to that Mizuki guy?" Momo demanded. "He was practically frothing at the mouth!"
Ryoma gave him a look that clearly said he had no idea what Momo was talking about.
Fuji just smiled and glomped on to Ryoma. "You're such a good little kouhai," he murmured.
Ryoma growled and ruffled Fuji's hair.
"Hey!" Fuji put his hands up to protect himself. "That hurts!"
"See how you like it," Ryoma said grouchily. He took another sip and glared at the can. "Fuji-sempai, what have you been EATING all your life? I can't TASTE anything!"
"I knew it," Momo grumbled. "No wonder he has no problems with Inui Juice. All his tastebuds are dead."
Fuji laughed merrily and plotted revenge. Then he winced and massaged the muscles of his borrowed face.
"Is something wrong?" Oishi asked him anxiously, "Are you in pain?"
"Mmm... something like that. Echizen doesn't smile very much," Fuji mused, rubbing his jaw. "His muscles aren't used to it. Ouch."
"This sucks," Ryoma grumbled, putting down his drink. "And if you guys all win, I won't even get to play today!"
Momo cuffed him upside the head. "Hey, don't wish misfortune on your team-mates!"
"Momoshirou! How dare you treat a sempai so disrespectfully!" Kaidou roared. Then he paused and blinked in confusion.
The rest of the team exchanged glances.
"Um, but does it count if it's Echizen in a sempai's body?" Momo asked, nervously switching his gaze between Ryoma and Fuji.
"Yes," said Ryoma.
"I don't think so," said Fuji at the same time.
The resulting debate succeeded only in confusing everyone further. In the end, it was something of a relief when they were called to order for the game.
**
When the Seigaku Doubles Two pair strode on to the courts, there was an outbreak of surprised whispers and murmurs from all watchers.
"What the hell is Echizen doing in doubles?! Are they completely INSANE?!! He's AWFUL!!"
And one or two shrieks of disbelief.
"Don't do it, Seigaku! There are easier ways to commit suicide!"
"Yeah, you can always just default!"
And horror, there was definitely some horror in there too.
"HORAAAA!~"
But, as usual, once there was a racquet in his hand there was no dampening Kawamura's burning spirit!
"BE QUIET ALL OF YOU!!! WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF THE TRUE SPIRIT WITHIN THIS SMALL BODY?! FEAR NOT, FUJI! WE SHALL SHOW THEM OUR STRENGTH!! BURNING!!!"
There was a brief silence.
"Well, so much for keeping it a secret," Momo sighed.
Fuji coughed and gave Kawamura a meaningful look. The taller boy blinked and then realised what he'd said.
"UH, I MEANT, 'FEAR NOT, ECHIZEN'! BECAUSE THAT IS WHO YOU ARE! ECHIZEN! NOT FUJI IN ECHIZEN'S BODY, NO, THAT WOULD BE SILLY!! YOU ARE MOST DEFINITELY ECHIZEN, YES!"
Oishi buried his face in his hands.
"Oh my god, they really ARE crazy!"
**
Four games in the tone of the murmurs had evolved into amazement and wonder at the unusually smooth doubles play of Kawamura and "Echizen". As Ryuzaki had predicted, their long familiarity at playing together, natural strengths and skills, and Fuji's ability to adapt, soon had their opponents on the run. All of the usual tricks which opened division between doubles pairs had been tried, and had all failed miserably. There had been a brief spike of tension early in the second game when "Echizen" seemed to become angry at his doubles partner, but it had soon proved to be a ploy to lure their opponents into overconfidence and disaster. Oishi had twitched rather a lot when that little trick was revealed, but it wasn't totally out of character for Echizen, so he had chosen to let it go.
In fact, the only real problem that could be said to exist was that the pair seemed to be, well, TOO good together. They were friendly. Obviously in tune with each other. Actually, the duo were pretty amiable and harmonious in general, which was beginning to raise some eyebrows.
"Fuji," Eiji hissed during the end-change after the fifth game. "You need to say THAT!"
"What?" Fuji looked confused.
"THAT!"
Fuji paused in confusion as his teammates made various meaningful gestures while the umpire wasn't looking and then nodded. "Oh yes. Ahem." He cleared his throat and pointed his racquet at their opponents.
"Mada mada da ne."
Momo shook his head. "Needs to be more bratty," he muttered through the fence.
"But cute," Eiji added in a stage-whisper. "With, um, more arrogance in it."
"Mada MADA da ne."
"Better. Try to be more irritating about it, next time."
Nearby, Ryoma glared furiously and plotted revenge.
**
Finally the doubles match came to an end with victory for Seigaku. The Regulars all cheered loudly (more with relief than anything else), and then settled down to focus on the rest of the matches, disaster apparently averted. The Golden Pair swept their matches without faltering, nervous energy boosting Kikumaru's acrobatics to new heights. Momoshirou battled a strong opponent in Singles 3 with furious tenacity, but was finally defeated in a very narrow 7-6 loss. Kaidou then threw everything he had and more at his own opponent and managed to secure the crucial win that would ensure that Seigaku would continue to advance through the competition. And that, as the saying goes, was that.
Or not.
"It turns out," Oishi said hollowly. "That the tournament officials have decided that all games should be played, in order to give all players the opportunity to hone their skills."
"And display them to all the recruiters and sponsors who have been invited," Ryuzaki added sourly. "I thought there were too many people in the audience."
The Regulars stared at her helplessly.
"Can't we sub Inui-sempai in?" Momo asked hopefully.
Oishi shook his head. "We didn't list him in our line-up, and anyway he's still in the labs at school trying to fix this mess. We'd never get him here in time."
"But, but..." Eiji said. "That means... Echizen has to play!"
All eyes turned to their youngest teammate, who had remained seated on the bench during this revelation, his eyes fixed firmly on the ground.
Slowly, Echizen stood up and stretched to Fuji's full height. Grabbing his racquet he slung it onto one shoulder and began to head for the warm-up court. As he passed his teammates, he paused before Fuji and snapped his gaze up to meet his sempai's. Burning blue eyes gazed into calm, golden ones. Then Echizen shut his eyes firmly and smiled.
"Don't worry, Fuji-sempai," he said, reaching out and reclaiming his cap. "I won't make you look bad."
Grinning viciously, he put his cap on and tugged it down firmly, before striding onto the courts.
Eiji clutched Oishi tightly, "Scary!"
"Ah, it would seem we've created a monster," Fuji said mildly.
"Don't be so calm about this! And what do you mean 'WE'?!!"
**
After Echizen had finished crushing his opponent and had gone off to find a vending machine that sold something stronger and more flavoursome than grape ponta (although what that could be no one could imagine), Fuji wandered off to find out what people were saying about 'his' performance. Technically he should be helping pack up like all the other first-years, but Kaidou had developed a nasty tick whenever the issue of sempai-kouhai duties and who was due what under the current circumstances was brought up and rather than watch him burst a blood vessel Ryuzaki had excused 'Echizen' from his duties. Personally, Fuji found it rather endearing.
Still, it was just as much fun to listen to people discuss him when they didn't know he was listening, so...
"Aniki."
Fuji turned, and then hesitated. "Yes, Yuuta?"
Yuuta frowned at him. "I thought something was up. That really is you, isn't it?"
Fuji gave him a limpid smile. "I can explain."
Yuuta covered his eyes. "Please don't. I don't really want to know. Just tell me that whatever it is will be finished by next weekend."
Fuji's face lit up. "You're coming home next weekend?"
Yuuta nodded jerkily.
Fuji gave a real smile and moved closer. "I promise, everything will be back to normal by then."
Yuuta let out a sigh of relief. "Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and convince myself that this is all a dream."
"Sweet dreams~."
"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"
**
On their return to school for the usual post-match discussion and celebration the team was met by Inui, who was waving two noxiously smoking beakers triumphantly. For the first time in history this sight was greeted with cheers and an abrupt rush TOWARDS the drinks, instead of in the opposite direction.
"Safe at last," Momoshirou sighed as Echizen and Fuji clinked the beakers together ceremoniously, gulped the contents, and promptly passed out.
"We'll celebrate properly when Tezuka gets back," Oishi promised the team as the release of stress from the previous couple of days made the post-match exhaustion kick in extra hard. "We could go out on Monday night, perhaps."
"Great idea," Kawamura yawned. "Momo, do you need some help getting Echizen home?"
With yawns and waves, the team broke up to deliver their soon-to-be-restored friends and go home to sleep the sleep of the just and victorious.
**
The next day dawned bright and early. So did most of the Regulars, who found themselves converging for practice well ahead of the normal time, and nervously waiting for their missing comrades.
"But you're absolutely sure it was the right formula, aren't you?" Oishi was asking Inui for the eighteenth time, when he was interupted by the arrival of Fuji.
"Fuji!" Eiji glomped his friend cheerfully. "Uh, it IS you, isn't it?"
"In the flesh," Fuji replied with a smile.
Everyone sighed in relief.
"And just before Buchou gets back, we're saved!" Momoshirou threw up his hands in triumph.
"Excellent, then the experiment was a success," Inui nodded in satisfaction.
"Ah..."
Everyone looked at Fuji, who seemed to be... sweatdropping?
"Well, there was ONE minor problem," Fuji said carefully, his mouth twitching in amusement. "An unintentional mistake I'm sure. You really should be more careful about these things, Inui."
The clubroom door opened again and Echizen walked in, face expressionless.
"So, what was the problem?" Oishi asked, looking from one boy to the other. "You're both back, right?"
Fuji coughed, "Not... exactly."
Echizen's gaze was frosty as he stared at his teammates.
"Ochibi-chan?" Eiji asked, nervously. "What's the matter?"
Echizen's eyes narrowed.
"I'm disappointed. You were supposed to play WITHOUT carelessness," he said coldly. "All of you, one hundred laps around the courts."
They gaped at him.
"It seems Tezuka got back a day early," Fuji said delicately. "And came in to check on things. And got thirsty while he was doing so. Inui, you REALLY shouldn't leave your drinks lying around like that. Echizen is very upset."
'Echizen' glanced over at Fuji. "Have you found him yet?"
"He's about an hour away," Fuji reassured him. "He wasn't sure how to get here from your house and took the wrong bus, but we know where he is and my sister's gone to pick him up."
Tezuka nodded and turned his gaze back to the rest of the Regulars, who were staring at him in horror and fear, and noticeably NOT running.
"One hundred and ten laps!" He snarled.
Everyone dashed out the door as quickly as possible, pausing only to catch his final shout.
"Inui! You do TWO hundred."
"When will this end?" Eiji wailed despairingly as they began to run. "We're doomed!"
"Hmm," Fuji said thoughtfully.
"Hmm? Is that all you can say?"
"Mmm," As they passed the clubroom Fuji held up a hand and the others all halted, jogging in place as he addressed Echizen's body, which was watching them sternly.
"Tezuka," Fuji said innocently. "I was just wondering: if all of the Regulars have to run laps for carelessness, does that include Echizen? And, if so, which body is going to run?"
They all got forty extra laps for collapsing in hysterical laughter, but it was generally agreed to have been worth it.
The End