All is Love
It is the season for snow heaped over the dirt on the streets. Purifying by obscuring. Flaws are hidden until you walk in the snow or roll a snowman or gather snowfluffballs between gloved hands to throw at your friends. Then the world out of sight and out of mind is uncovered again and the contrast between what could be and what is shows in high definition. The trees are outlined with icing of snow. They stand out more. With the stencil effect of a snow tracing, reality becomes startling and sharper. We're brought into focus, when it isn't snowing. And when it is, the falling snow muffles sound and blurs vision. In Hull at the moment we have indecisive snowfall. It falls, half melts, freezes, then falls, then half melts, then freezes. Watching one's step is essential.
This is what I did to welcome the new year in:
A few days before this year's eve I had travelled to Birmingham to see some old friends. On the day of the eve I walked over to McD's recently moved-into flat. It's close to where I used to live the last time that I lived in Birmingham. I talked to McD about the unreality of being back somewhere you used to live, but only for a short visit. McD wondered whether it was right for life to continue on in places that one had left; I told her I saw memories like transparent overlays along the streets and in the shops. We, neither of us, used those exact words.
McD, Field Day and I bought champagne, other alcohol and ingredients from Lidl and Sainsburys before most of the other Team Awesomers, plus occasional but amazing Team Awesomer Caitie, arrived. Pomegranate gin shots (er a bit bigger than your average shot) and brandy champagne cocktails were drunk. McD and Field Day had made a four hour long spotify playlist for the party, which was only marred by the spotify advertisments, causing whoever was dancing at any one time to yell, "Shut up Spotify!" or maybe just I did that. A coat stand filled with fake furs brought the team physical warmth on the way to the pub about a half hour before the new year chimed in. We took party poppers in the pockets of our furs and coats. I found mine, unpopped, in my coat pocket the other day. Despite that little personal fail, I do keep finding party popper streamers stuck to my clothes.
A few of us slept on the floor of the front room. I told a couple of garbled, mostly mis-remembered, ghost stories. I slept in my clothes, a happy bundle of party frock and champagne giggles. Leaving before most of the team woke up, I zombie'd back to London, picking party detritus from my arms and legs, to get some more time with my nephews before coming back to Hull.
Now:
I'm back in Hull, back at work, back having intense emotional and physical reactions to work problems. It's the beginning of the new year, the new decade. New start new start.
I feel as though I'm getting some perspective. The decade review's helped. Reading other people's blogs, talking to my friends (at work and non-work) and family have helped. So this year is for me to figure out what to do next. Not just in my career. Maybe it's taken a shocking work situation (which I intend to come to terms with and make better) to help me actually face my work/life balance properly. This year is a year for Life knocking that balance all off-kilter.
I've made an aspiration, not a resolution, list for the year and it's pretty much all roller derby, creativity and getting the heck OUT and ABOUT. There are some professional bits on there, but everything is positive and potential-tastic.
Hope I don't have an Acme anvil land on my head right after posting this. The Universe is a fan of irony I believe.
This is what I did to welcome the new year in:
A few days before this year's eve I had travelled to Birmingham to see some old friends. On the day of the eve I walked over to McD's recently moved-into flat. It's close to where I used to live the last time that I lived in Birmingham. I talked to McD about the unreality of being back somewhere you used to live, but only for a short visit. McD wondered whether it was right for life to continue on in places that one had left; I told her I saw memories like transparent overlays along the streets and in the shops. We, neither of us, used those exact words.
McD, Field Day and I bought champagne, other alcohol and ingredients from Lidl and Sainsburys before most of the other Team Awesomers, plus occasional but amazing Team Awesomer Caitie, arrived. Pomegranate gin shots (er a bit bigger than your average shot) and brandy champagne cocktails were drunk. McD and Field Day had made a four hour long spotify playlist for the party, which was only marred by the spotify advertisments, causing whoever was dancing at any one time to yell, "Shut up Spotify!" or maybe just I did that. A coat stand filled with fake furs brought the team physical warmth on the way to the pub about a half hour before the new year chimed in. We took party poppers in the pockets of our furs and coats. I found mine, unpopped, in my coat pocket the other day. Despite that little personal fail, I do keep finding party popper streamers stuck to my clothes.
A few of us slept on the floor of the front room. I told a couple of garbled, mostly mis-remembered, ghost stories. I slept in my clothes, a happy bundle of party frock and champagne giggles. Leaving before most of the team woke up, I zombie'd back to London, picking party detritus from my arms and legs, to get some more time with my nephews before coming back to Hull.
Now:
I'm back in Hull, back at work, back having intense emotional and physical reactions to work problems. It's the beginning of the new year, the new decade. New start new start.
I feel as though I'm getting some perspective. The decade review's helped. Reading other people's blogs, talking to my friends (at work and non-work) and family have helped. So this year is for me to figure out what to do next. Not just in my career. Maybe it's taken a shocking work situation (which I intend to come to terms with and make better) to help me actually face my work/life balance properly. This year is a year for Life knocking that balance all off-kilter.
I've made an aspiration, not a resolution, list for the year and it's pretty much all roller derby, creativity and getting the heck OUT and ABOUT. There are some professional bits on there, but everything is positive and potential-tastic.
Hope I don't have an Acme anvil land on my head right after posting this. The Universe is a fan of irony I believe.