[Fanfic] Oshiete, Jun-kun - Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
He wasn’t sure if he was dreaming but a faint, delicious smell wafted to his nose. I can never remember dreams, so this must be real...I think. He tried to open his eyes, but they seemed unwilling to respond. Breathing in the smell again, his stomach grumbled. Finally, he managed to get his eyelids open to see a blurry cream-coloured ceiling. “Ugh...this feels worse than a hangover,” grumbled Sho, pressing a hand to his forehead. Everything seemed hazy yet strangely sharp at the same time. Allowing his vision to focus, he heard Jun’s voice from faraway, “I’m sorry if I woke you.” Sho waved a hand, squeezing his eyes shut but couldn’t find words to say as dizziness took over.
“Are you okay?” Jun’s voice sounded nearer now and when he opened his eyes almost painfully, he saw dark features creased into a concerned frown. “I’m fine. Just not used to waking up at odd times of the day like this, that’s all,” Sho tried to smile to convince Jun that he was fine, but it didn’t seem like it worked. “Here, drink this. It’ll get some of that tiredness out of you,” Jun handed him a glass of something, helping him to sit up. Sho took a sip and pulled away again almost immediately, “Ugh, bitter!” His face scrunched up in response to the drink attacking his tongue and nose. “It’s herbal tea. Just drink it,” Jun pushed. Defeated, he gulped down two mouthfuls and handed the glass back. He managed something incoherent while Jun headed back to the kitchen with a satisfied smile.
He wasn’t sure if it was the tea or waking up to see Jun’s face looking at him with such concern, but he felt a strange force of energy now. Pushing to get himself up, he managed to wander over to the kitchen where Jun was busy cooking something. Glancing at his watch, it took everything in him not to yell out the time. I’ve been sleeping for almost seven hours straight! It was almost 8 in the evening and he wondered what Jun had been doing during the time he slept. “I’m sorry,” Sho felt he had to apologize. After all, this wasn’t his house and he felt rude for sleeping so long. He had intended to take just a short nap...
Jun laughed now, pointing to a bottle of oyster sauce with his elbow. “Pass me that, would you?” he said. Still feeling guilty, he handed the sauce to Jun without a word. “Its fine, Sho-san. You’ve been up for almost 48 hours, so it’s understandable that you’ll sleep like that. It’s nothing to feel apologetic or guilty for,” Jun glanced over his shoulder with a smile before returning to his cooking, “I know you said we’ll decide if we want to eat in or head out for dinner, but I figured we might as well eat here. After all, it’s not every day that I get to cook for you.” Sho could feel his ears burning in embarrassment: it sounded almost like something a wife would say.
“Y-Yeah, it smells great. I woke up because my stomach was grumbling...” he admitted, which made Jun laugh again. “I’ve drawn a bath so you can take one first, while I finish cooking and then we can eat. Would you like to watch TV or something while we have dinner?” asked Jun now. Sho shook his head, “Well, I don’t normally watch TV while eating, but if you want to catch up on a show or something, I have no problems with it.” Jun nodded with a short ‘mm’ before directing him to the bathroom. He felt strangely surreal now as he stripped out of his clothes and into a bathrobe in Jun’s immaculately clean bathroom decorated with white, black and gold, moving slowly almost as if he was still dreaming.
Realization was slow to hit him: this was his first time being with Jun together in his apartment, alone. Normally, there would be Aiba and Nino and Captain, but this time...it was just him and Jun. His heart was pounding hard against his chest as his imagination ran wild with what might happen if they get too drunk or he loses control or... The hot water against his skin reminded him that no matter what happens, Jun was still his group member. No matter what, he can’t afford to have awkwardness grow between them. And he will not be responsible for ruining Jun’s career. He just wouldn’t be able to face himself if anything like that happens.
Dunking his face into the water, he scrubbed his cheeks with the palms of his hands, as if he was trying to get that reminder to stick in his head. Pulling his face out of the water again, he breathed a deep sigh. Things couldn’t be more complicated. I thought things like this only happen in manga or movies... But at the very least, he was happy. All the girls who rejected him before he became famous, all the girls that wanted him after he became famous...none of that even mattered when Jun loves him. Jun loves me... the thought made him grin like an idiot again. Despite not being able to say it upfront, just the thought made him feel like he could face anything.
Pulling himself out of the tub, he felt rejuvenated with that reminder solidifying itself in his head. No matter what happens, I’m staying by his side.
----
Dressed and refreshed, he headed out into the living area to see Jun pouring two glasses of red wine. Offering one to him with a silent smile, Sho could only accept the beverage with a meek nod of the head. He felt strangely spoilt by the younger man, though he won’t say it. Helping with the dishes, they settled to having their meal in front of the TV where Jun said he wanted to catch up on a drama that he had been watching. “A drama? Do you normally watch dramas at home?” asked Sho, more curious than anything else, receiving a short chuckle as a response. “Yes, is it that strange? I’ve been keeping up with various dramas. Call it ‘studying’,” grinned Jun, taking a seat beside him and turning the TV on.
Sho looked down at the plates of freshly-cooked food: salad with a light dressing, warm slices of bread smothered with garlic butter and the main dish, Fettuccini Romano ala Fratelli. As he placed some pasta onto a plate for Jun, he heard a familiar line, “Taiyo-sensei!” Shocked, he looked up to see none other than himself on screen. “W-What…?” he started but Jun was fixated on the story, movingly only slightly to sip his wine. He could feel his cheeks burn: Jun was watching his old drama, Yoiko no Mikata which was shot a few years ago, back in 2003. Handing a plate over, Jun finally turned and smiled, dark eyes glittering. Sho could only smile back, but it still felt unnerving to hear himself on TV.
Focusing on the food in front of him instead, he kept his head down as he stared at the pasta swirling amidst sauce. It was undeniably delicious the moment it touched his tongue, but knowing that Jun was so focused on watching the drama, he didn’t exclaim, “Umai!” like he usually would to avoid startling his group member. However, each bite he took was tender and full of flavour. “You’ve been quiet, something wrong with the food?” a voice startled him, making him look up with his mouth half-full. Shaking his head quickly, he chewed and swallowed before answering, “No, there’s nothing wrong with the food! It’s delicious! Maximum!” Jun’s laugh told him he was overreacting again, “Just asking, you looked like you were really concentrating on your plate.”
“Ah…well…” was all Sho could manage but Jun turned his attention back to the screen. They finished off their meal just as the episode reached its climax now, the screen showing a little boy with tears in his eyes. Sho slowly swirled and sipped his wine, feeling slightly more comfortable watching himself act, though he could be partially lulled by his full stomach and the drink. Normally, he doesn’t watch his own dramas because he feels his acting skills are mediocre and awkward, so this is a new experience for him. Movement at the corner of his eye caught his attention and turning, he saw Jun wiping his face. Setting his glass down quickly, he grabbed Jun’s shoulder to see the younger man crying.
“W-What’s…?” Sho started but realized that he was so moved by the drama’s story that he cried. He wiped his tears quickly and almost embarrassedly as the credits started to roll and their song ‘Tomadoinagara’ echoed through the living room. “I-I’m sorry…” Jun apologized as he quickly got to his feet to switch the TV off and started clearing dishes. Before Sho could react, Jun sped off toward the kitchen with the stacked plates and glasses. Despite his heart beating rapidly in his chest, Sho actually felt calm as he counted to ten. Then slowly, he got up from the couch and almost sauntering, he approached Jun who was standing in front of the sink with the water going at full blast.
Without a word, Sho gently wrapped his arms around Jun’s waist, pressing his hands flat against the front of Jun’s sweater and leaned his cheek against Jun’s warm shoulder. He could feel the other man’s body trembling slightly but still he didn’t say anything. “S-Sho…” whispered Jun, as the room finally grew silent after he turned the tap off. “Yes, Jun?” he replied, still holding onto him. “I-I didn’t mean to…” Jun started but trailed off. Releasing Jun long enough to turn him around, Sho smiled as he saw Jun’s face wet with his tears. “Didn’t mean to what? We all know you cry easily anyway…how long have we known each other?” asked Sho, pulling a thumb gently across Jun’s cheek.
“I-I know but…” Jun started, but again, he ended up trailing off as his eyes strayed to the floor. “Hey, it’s not like we’ve just met or anything, right? There’s really no reason for me to think any less of you,” said Sho, tilting Jun’s face to make their eyes meet. Finally, Jun smiled as he pressed his forehead to Sho’s almost gratefully. “Thank God it’s you,” he said with a hint of relief. “That’s my line,” Sho replied as he brushed his lips against Jun’s. The familiar thrill ran up his spine, while Jun’s hand ran through the back of his hair. He could feel his skin prickle with goosebumps as Jun’s mouth travelled down his chin and leave a hot trail down his neck.
“J-Jun…” he managed to gasp, tilting his head to the side to give him easier access. When he stopped, Sho saw Jun’s eyes were full of curiosity mixed with seduction. Without another word, Jun grabbed his wrist and led him through the house and into his bedroom. Before Sho barely had time to admire the décor, Jun turned and kissed him again, this time hard as he pressed Sho against the back of the closed door. His hands roamed all over Jun’s warm skin underneath that sweater, while Jun’s was busy unbuttoning his shirt. “Wait, wait…” Sho interrupted making them stop. “Something wrong?” asked Jun, looking slightly hurt.
“I don’t really know how to ask this without sounding weird but…have you…ever done…?” Sho gestured to the two of them. Slowly, Jun shook his head, the fear that he had been keeping silent finally surfacing. He released his hold on Sho and wandered over to a chair, where he buried his face in his hands. “No…I mean…I have but…not with…” his sentences came out broken as he tried to scrabble for words. Sho sighed, though there was a hint of a smile, “Me neither. So I’d like to make a suggestion if that’s okay?” The other man merely waited for him to continue on. Sho smiled just a little wider as he slowly walked over to Jun. “Let’s take this slow, okay?”
Jun’s worried face turned into a smile as he nodded, hands returning to unbuttoning the rest of Sho’s shirt. “You still have this on? I thought you’ve removed it already?” asked Jun, fingers caressing Sho’s belly button stud. “Only for our photo sessions with magazines. I still wear it underneath my clothes,” he replied, feeling a sudden shiver brush up his spine as Jun’s tongue flicked the stud. “I’ve always thought it was sexy,” said Jun, looking up with a grin. Despite feeling unnerved at this new experience, Sho felt strangely calm…almost intoxicated by the situation. At this moment, his mind is only processing what his eyes are seeing: his body the one that’s doing all the moving.
He went on his knees in front of the still-sitting Jun and kissed him again, hands slowly travelling up into his sweater to caress his curved hips, moving up his waist, around his back before reaching his nipples. “Cold?” Sho teased as he swiped a thumb across one. “Mean,” retorted Jun though smiling as he nuzzled Sho’s neck. Before long, they moved over to Jun’s double bed with its black (I think it was black) silk covering. They took their sweet time, uncaring about whether it was the ‘right technique’ or not as they explored each other’s bodies. “Do you always sleep in pyjamas when you’re at home?” Sho asked, running his hand across the sheets.
Jun, who was wearing only his boxers and dimming down the lights, turned with a grin, “No…I usually don’t wear anything.” Sho had to bite his lip as he muffled a groan: the image of Jun lying here naked every night was so vivid in his head that it was almost painful. He was only in his boxers too, partially covered by a thin layer of silk, though it really wasn’t hiding anything…not to Jun at least. Getting fully under the covers, Jun smiled, “Let me do it first, okay?” Sho really couldn’t argue; after all, he wasn’t really sure what he was doing anyway. Leaning his head back against the pillows, he laid still and let Jun’s hands explore, feeling his spine shiver as the warmth travelled toward the area covered by his boxers.
He could feel the silk caress him as Jun removed the only article of clothing he had left before a firm grip took hold of him. “C-Careful…” he stuttered, worried that this sensation might make him lose control. “Don’t worry,” Jun’s voice reassured him. It was dark enough for him to barely make out Jun’s outline, huddled underneath the silk but because the sheets were covering his lower half, he couldn’t see what Jun was doing. Merely feel. A soft groan escaped his lips now as he could feel Jun’s fingers stroking him gently. “Jun…” he whispered, his fingers scrunching the sheets under him as he tried to maintain control.
There was no stopping it though as he felt a sudden warm and moist sensation underneath those sheets. His breath was coming out in short gasps in amidst moans now as he found that he couldn’t take it any longer. “J-Jun!” his voice echoed through the room as his back arched and his eyes squeezed shut. When the pressure had lessened, he lay flat on his back, out of breath and sweating. He didn’t know when Jun emerged from under the sheets but his hardly-comprehending mind saw the outline of a grin on his face. “That was good?” he asked. Sho wanted to answer, but found that he couldn’t form words. Good is the last word I’d use. But Jun didn’t take any offense in Sho’s silence at all; rather, it seemed he was satisfied with it.
The night wore on as they took turns, feeling a sense of wonder and not to mention closeness they would’ve never had if they were just friends. They caressed and explored, teasing and kissing every inch of each other, making the other writhe and cry out in ecstasy. They lost all knowledge of time being in the darkness. Despite him being non-poetic in any sense, if he was to describe this moment, the term ‘celebration of the senses’ comes to mind. There was no pretence, no expectations…just simply being. They were lying in each other’s arms now, breathless. Jun was on his chest while he draped one arm around the younger man’s shoulder.
“Are you okay?” Sho had to ask, finally able to form something coherent. “More than okay, obviously,” came Jun’s cheeky response. A short silence ensued before Jun spoke again, “Can I ask you something?” Sho frowned in the dark, his fingers tracing little circles on Jun’s arm, “Of course. You can ask me anything.” Again, a short moment of silence. It was almost as if Jun was trying to find the right words to ask. “D-Do you…feel weirded out by this?” the question finally came. Even though Jun sounded unsure, Sho didn’t feel surprised by the question. “What do you mean by ‘weirded out’?” he responded with his own question.
“Well…you know…not being with a woman,” Jun’s voice sounded vulnerable, almost afraid. Sho hugged him closer, trying to reassure him, “Of course not. I was the one who told you I liked you, remember? If you ask me, that’s weird in society’s eyes already.” Jun wrapped his arm around Sho’s waist, nuzzling his nose against Sho’s chest. “I know…but…what if - what if they find out about…us?” It was then that Sho realized: Jun was trying really hard to voice out his fears. He had assumed all this time that Jun was okay with this, with their relationship, but he never thought that his lover would have it much harder than himself.
“Jun…look at me,” he said now, making Jun look up at him. Despite it being dark, Sho could still see him and caressed the side of Jun’s face gently. “I’m not leaving. This isn’t a one-time thing. I’m serious about how I feel about you and we’ll decide what happens in its own time, okay? I fear just as much as you but there’s no need for you to hide it. If you feel that something’s not okay, just tell me. That’s what I’m here for,” Sho had to reassure him. After all, they were doing something that might jeopardize the both of them, not to mention their group and their families.
“Okay…” Jun said, pressing his cheek to Sho’s hand, “I’ll try to be more open with how I feel about this.” Sho smiled as Jun went back to lying on his chest, “Good.” While they were entertaining their own thoughts, Jun spoke again, “Can I ask another question?” Sho, who was about to drift off to sleep, managed a response, “Hm?” Jun looked up at him, one hand on his stomach, “Who’s the girl in this relationship then?” That made Sho laugh as he launched a tickling attack on Jun. “W-What are you doing - stop! No, don’t --!” Jun protested in amidst laughter. When Sho finally ceased, he was hovering on top of Jun with a smile on his face. “We’ll take turns, deal?” he replied, making Jun laugh. “Fine…I still think you’d be the better girl though,” replied Jun. Sho retorted by attacking him with kisses now, while Jun could only helplessly laugh.
When they were out of breath again, Sho pressed his forehead to Jun’s. “Jun…” he started, feeling a lump form in his throat. “Yes?” Jun replied. “I…I love you.” There, I’ve finally said it. The one word I thought I’d never say. There was a moment of silence and Sho thought Jun fell asleep or something but when he pulled away slightly, he saw the tears glittering in Jun’s dark eyes. “I love you too, Sho,” he replied, his voice soft. His heart swelled as he kissed Jun; a long, deep kiss that solidified everything he felt for the other man.
I love you, Jun...so very much.
He wasn’t sure if he was dreaming but a faint, delicious smell wafted to his nose. I can never remember dreams, so this must be real...I think. He tried to open his eyes, but they seemed unwilling to respond. Breathing in the smell again, his stomach grumbled. Finally, he managed to get his eyelids open to see a blurry cream-coloured ceiling. “Ugh...this feels worse than a hangover,” grumbled Sho, pressing a hand to his forehead. Everything seemed hazy yet strangely sharp at the same time. Allowing his vision to focus, he heard Jun’s voice from faraway, “I’m sorry if I woke you.” Sho waved a hand, squeezing his eyes shut but couldn’t find words to say as dizziness took over.
“Are you okay?” Jun’s voice sounded nearer now and when he opened his eyes almost painfully, he saw dark features creased into a concerned frown. “I’m fine. Just not used to waking up at odd times of the day like this, that’s all,” Sho tried to smile to convince Jun that he was fine, but it didn’t seem like it worked. “Here, drink this. It’ll get some of that tiredness out of you,” Jun handed him a glass of something, helping him to sit up. Sho took a sip and pulled away again almost immediately, “Ugh, bitter!” His face scrunched up in response to the drink attacking his tongue and nose. “It’s herbal tea. Just drink it,” Jun pushed. Defeated, he gulped down two mouthfuls and handed the glass back. He managed something incoherent while Jun headed back to the kitchen with a satisfied smile.
He wasn’t sure if it was the tea or waking up to see Jun’s face looking at him with such concern, but he felt a strange force of energy now. Pushing to get himself up, he managed to wander over to the kitchen where Jun was busy cooking something. Glancing at his watch, it took everything in him not to yell out the time. I’ve been sleeping for almost seven hours straight! It was almost 8 in the evening and he wondered what Jun had been doing during the time he slept. “I’m sorry,” Sho felt he had to apologize. After all, this wasn’t his house and he felt rude for sleeping so long. He had intended to take just a short nap...
Jun laughed now, pointing to a bottle of oyster sauce with his elbow. “Pass me that, would you?” he said. Still feeling guilty, he handed the sauce to Jun without a word. “Its fine, Sho-san. You’ve been up for almost 48 hours, so it’s understandable that you’ll sleep like that. It’s nothing to feel apologetic or guilty for,” Jun glanced over his shoulder with a smile before returning to his cooking, “I know you said we’ll decide if we want to eat in or head out for dinner, but I figured we might as well eat here. After all, it’s not every day that I get to cook for you.” Sho could feel his ears burning in embarrassment: it sounded almost like something a wife would say.
“Y-Yeah, it smells great. I woke up because my stomach was grumbling...” he admitted, which made Jun laugh again. “I’ve drawn a bath so you can take one first, while I finish cooking and then we can eat. Would you like to watch TV or something while we have dinner?” asked Jun now. Sho shook his head, “Well, I don’t normally watch TV while eating, but if you want to catch up on a show or something, I have no problems with it.” Jun nodded with a short ‘mm’ before directing him to the bathroom. He felt strangely surreal now as he stripped out of his clothes and into a bathrobe in Jun’s immaculately clean bathroom decorated with white, black and gold, moving slowly almost as if he was still dreaming.
Realization was slow to hit him: this was his first time being with Jun together in his apartment, alone. Normally, there would be Aiba and Nino and Captain, but this time...it was just him and Jun. His heart was pounding hard against his chest as his imagination ran wild with what might happen if they get too drunk or he loses control or... The hot water against his skin reminded him that no matter what happens, Jun was still his group member. No matter what, he can’t afford to have awkwardness grow between them. And he will not be responsible for ruining Jun’s career. He just wouldn’t be able to face himself if anything like that happens.
Dunking his face into the water, he scrubbed his cheeks with the palms of his hands, as if he was trying to get that reminder to stick in his head. Pulling his face out of the water again, he breathed a deep sigh. Things couldn’t be more complicated. I thought things like this only happen in manga or movies... But at the very least, he was happy. All the girls who rejected him before he became famous, all the girls that wanted him after he became famous...none of that even mattered when Jun loves him. Jun loves me... the thought made him grin like an idiot again. Despite not being able to say it upfront, just the thought made him feel like he could face anything.
Pulling himself out of the tub, he felt rejuvenated with that reminder solidifying itself in his head. No matter what happens, I’m staying by his side.
----
Dressed and refreshed, he headed out into the living area to see Jun pouring two glasses of red wine. Offering one to him with a silent smile, Sho could only accept the beverage with a meek nod of the head. He felt strangely spoilt by the younger man, though he won’t say it. Helping with the dishes, they settled to having their meal in front of the TV where Jun said he wanted to catch up on a drama that he had been watching. “A drama? Do you normally watch dramas at home?” asked Sho, more curious than anything else, receiving a short chuckle as a response. “Yes, is it that strange? I’ve been keeping up with various dramas. Call it ‘studying’,” grinned Jun, taking a seat beside him and turning the TV on.
Sho looked down at the plates of freshly-cooked food: salad with a light dressing, warm slices of bread smothered with garlic butter and the main dish, Fettuccini Romano ala Fratelli. As he placed some pasta onto a plate for Jun, he heard a familiar line, “Taiyo-sensei!” Shocked, he looked up to see none other than himself on screen. “W-What…?” he started but Jun was fixated on the story, movingly only slightly to sip his wine. He could feel his cheeks burn: Jun was watching his old drama, Yoiko no Mikata which was shot a few years ago, back in 2003. Handing a plate over, Jun finally turned and smiled, dark eyes glittering. Sho could only smile back, but it still felt unnerving to hear himself on TV.
Focusing on the food in front of him instead, he kept his head down as he stared at the pasta swirling amidst sauce. It was undeniably delicious the moment it touched his tongue, but knowing that Jun was so focused on watching the drama, he didn’t exclaim, “Umai!” like he usually would to avoid startling his group member. However, each bite he took was tender and full of flavour. “You’ve been quiet, something wrong with the food?” a voice startled him, making him look up with his mouth half-full. Shaking his head quickly, he chewed and swallowed before answering, “No, there’s nothing wrong with the food! It’s delicious! Maximum!” Jun’s laugh told him he was overreacting again, “Just asking, you looked like you were really concentrating on your plate.”
“Ah…well…” was all Sho could manage but Jun turned his attention back to the screen. They finished off their meal just as the episode reached its climax now, the screen showing a little boy with tears in his eyes. Sho slowly swirled and sipped his wine, feeling slightly more comfortable watching himself act, though he could be partially lulled by his full stomach and the drink. Normally, he doesn’t watch his own dramas because he feels his acting skills are mediocre and awkward, so this is a new experience for him. Movement at the corner of his eye caught his attention and turning, he saw Jun wiping his face. Setting his glass down quickly, he grabbed Jun’s shoulder to see the younger man crying.
“W-What’s…?” Sho started but realized that he was so moved by the drama’s story that he cried. He wiped his tears quickly and almost embarrassedly as the credits started to roll and their song ‘Tomadoinagara’ echoed through the living room. “I-I’m sorry…” Jun apologized as he quickly got to his feet to switch the TV off and started clearing dishes. Before Sho could react, Jun sped off toward the kitchen with the stacked plates and glasses. Despite his heart beating rapidly in his chest, Sho actually felt calm as he counted to ten. Then slowly, he got up from the couch and almost sauntering, he approached Jun who was standing in front of the sink with the water going at full blast.
Without a word, Sho gently wrapped his arms around Jun’s waist, pressing his hands flat against the front of Jun’s sweater and leaned his cheek against Jun’s warm shoulder. He could feel the other man’s body trembling slightly but still he didn’t say anything. “S-Sho…” whispered Jun, as the room finally grew silent after he turned the tap off. “Yes, Jun?” he replied, still holding onto him. “I-I didn’t mean to…” Jun started but trailed off. Releasing Jun long enough to turn him around, Sho smiled as he saw Jun’s face wet with his tears. “Didn’t mean to what? We all know you cry easily anyway…how long have we known each other?” asked Sho, pulling a thumb gently across Jun’s cheek.
“I-I know but…” Jun started, but again, he ended up trailing off as his eyes strayed to the floor. “Hey, it’s not like we’ve just met or anything, right? There’s really no reason for me to think any less of you,” said Sho, tilting Jun’s face to make their eyes meet. Finally, Jun smiled as he pressed his forehead to Sho’s almost gratefully. “Thank God it’s you,” he said with a hint of relief. “That’s my line,” Sho replied as he brushed his lips against Jun’s. The familiar thrill ran up his spine, while Jun’s hand ran through the back of his hair. He could feel his skin prickle with goosebumps as Jun’s mouth travelled down his chin and leave a hot trail down his neck.
“J-Jun…” he managed to gasp, tilting his head to the side to give him easier access. When he stopped, Sho saw Jun’s eyes were full of curiosity mixed with seduction. Without another word, Jun grabbed his wrist and led him through the house and into his bedroom. Before Sho barely had time to admire the décor, Jun turned and kissed him again, this time hard as he pressed Sho against the back of the closed door. His hands roamed all over Jun’s warm skin underneath that sweater, while Jun’s was busy unbuttoning his shirt. “Wait, wait…” Sho interrupted making them stop. “Something wrong?” asked Jun, looking slightly hurt.
“I don’t really know how to ask this without sounding weird but…have you…ever done…?” Sho gestured to the two of them. Slowly, Jun shook his head, the fear that he had been keeping silent finally surfacing. He released his hold on Sho and wandered over to a chair, where he buried his face in his hands. “No…I mean…I have but…not with…” his sentences came out broken as he tried to scrabble for words. Sho sighed, though there was a hint of a smile, “Me neither. So I’d like to make a suggestion if that’s okay?” The other man merely waited for him to continue on. Sho smiled just a little wider as he slowly walked over to Jun. “Let’s take this slow, okay?”
Jun’s worried face turned into a smile as he nodded, hands returning to unbuttoning the rest of Sho’s shirt. “You still have this on? I thought you’ve removed it already?” asked Jun, fingers caressing Sho’s belly button stud. “Only for our photo sessions with magazines. I still wear it underneath my clothes,” he replied, feeling a sudden shiver brush up his spine as Jun’s tongue flicked the stud. “I’ve always thought it was sexy,” said Jun, looking up with a grin. Despite feeling unnerved at this new experience, Sho felt strangely calm…almost intoxicated by the situation. At this moment, his mind is only processing what his eyes are seeing: his body the one that’s doing all the moving.
He went on his knees in front of the still-sitting Jun and kissed him again, hands slowly travelling up into his sweater to caress his curved hips, moving up his waist, around his back before reaching his nipples. “Cold?” Sho teased as he swiped a thumb across one. “Mean,” retorted Jun though smiling as he nuzzled Sho’s neck. Before long, they moved over to Jun’s double bed with its black (I think it was black) silk covering. They took their sweet time, uncaring about whether it was the ‘right technique’ or not as they explored each other’s bodies. “Do you always sleep in pyjamas when you’re at home?” Sho asked, running his hand across the sheets.
Jun, who was wearing only his boxers and dimming down the lights, turned with a grin, “No…I usually don’t wear anything.” Sho had to bite his lip as he muffled a groan: the image of Jun lying here naked every night was so vivid in his head that it was almost painful. He was only in his boxers too, partially covered by a thin layer of silk, though it really wasn’t hiding anything…not to Jun at least. Getting fully under the covers, Jun smiled, “Let me do it first, okay?” Sho really couldn’t argue; after all, he wasn’t really sure what he was doing anyway. Leaning his head back against the pillows, he laid still and let Jun’s hands explore, feeling his spine shiver as the warmth travelled toward the area covered by his boxers.
He could feel the silk caress him as Jun removed the only article of clothing he had left before a firm grip took hold of him. “C-Careful…” he stuttered, worried that this sensation might make him lose control. “Don’t worry,” Jun’s voice reassured him. It was dark enough for him to barely make out Jun’s outline, huddled underneath the silk but because the sheets were covering his lower half, he couldn’t see what Jun was doing. Merely feel. A soft groan escaped his lips now as he could feel Jun’s fingers stroking him gently. “Jun…” he whispered, his fingers scrunching the sheets under him as he tried to maintain control.
There was no stopping it though as he felt a sudden warm and moist sensation underneath those sheets. His breath was coming out in short gasps in amidst moans now as he found that he couldn’t take it any longer. “J-Jun!” his voice echoed through the room as his back arched and his eyes squeezed shut. When the pressure had lessened, he lay flat on his back, out of breath and sweating. He didn’t know when Jun emerged from under the sheets but his hardly-comprehending mind saw the outline of a grin on his face. “That was good?” he asked. Sho wanted to answer, but found that he couldn’t form words. Good is the last word I’d use. But Jun didn’t take any offense in Sho’s silence at all; rather, it seemed he was satisfied with it.
The night wore on as they took turns, feeling a sense of wonder and not to mention closeness they would’ve never had if they were just friends. They caressed and explored, teasing and kissing every inch of each other, making the other writhe and cry out in ecstasy. They lost all knowledge of time being in the darkness. Despite him being non-poetic in any sense, if he was to describe this moment, the term ‘celebration of the senses’ comes to mind. There was no pretence, no expectations…just simply being. They were lying in each other’s arms now, breathless. Jun was on his chest while he draped one arm around the younger man’s shoulder.
“Are you okay?” Sho had to ask, finally able to form something coherent. “More than okay, obviously,” came Jun’s cheeky response. A short silence ensued before Jun spoke again, “Can I ask you something?” Sho frowned in the dark, his fingers tracing little circles on Jun’s arm, “Of course. You can ask me anything.” Again, a short moment of silence. It was almost as if Jun was trying to find the right words to ask. “D-Do you…feel weirded out by this?” the question finally came. Even though Jun sounded unsure, Sho didn’t feel surprised by the question. “What do you mean by ‘weirded out’?” he responded with his own question.
“Well…you know…not being with a woman,” Jun’s voice sounded vulnerable, almost afraid. Sho hugged him closer, trying to reassure him, “Of course not. I was the one who told you I liked you, remember? If you ask me, that’s weird in society’s eyes already.” Jun wrapped his arm around Sho’s waist, nuzzling his nose against Sho’s chest. “I know…but…what if - what if they find out about…us?” It was then that Sho realized: Jun was trying really hard to voice out his fears. He had assumed all this time that Jun was okay with this, with their relationship, but he never thought that his lover would have it much harder than himself.
“Jun…look at me,” he said now, making Jun look up at him. Despite it being dark, Sho could still see him and caressed the side of Jun’s face gently. “I’m not leaving. This isn’t a one-time thing. I’m serious about how I feel about you and we’ll decide what happens in its own time, okay? I fear just as much as you but there’s no need for you to hide it. If you feel that something’s not okay, just tell me. That’s what I’m here for,” Sho had to reassure him. After all, they were doing something that might jeopardize the both of them, not to mention their group and their families.
“Okay…” Jun said, pressing his cheek to Sho’s hand, “I’ll try to be more open with how I feel about this.” Sho smiled as Jun went back to lying on his chest, “Good.” While they were entertaining their own thoughts, Jun spoke again, “Can I ask another question?” Sho, who was about to drift off to sleep, managed a response, “Hm?” Jun looked up at him, one hand on his stomach, “Who’s the girl in this relationship then?” That made Sho laugh as he launched a tickling attack on Jun. “W-What are you doing - stop! No, don’t --!” Jun protested in amidst laughter. When Sho finally ceased, he was hovering on top of Jun with a smile on his face. “We’ll take turns, deal?” he replied, making Jun laugh. “Fine…I still think you’d be the better girl though,” replied Jun. Sho retorted by attacking him with kisses now, while Jun could only helplessly laugh.
When they were out of breath again, Sho pressed his forehead to Jun’s. “Jun…” he started, feeling a lump form in his throat. “Yes?” Jun replied. “I…I love you.” There, I’ve finally said it. The one word I thought I’d never say. There was a moment of silence and Sho thought Jun fell asleep or something but when he pulled away slightly, he saw the tears glittering in Jun’s dark eyes. “I love you too, Sho,” he replied, his voice soft. His heart swelled as he kissed Jun; a long, deep kiss that solidified everything he felt for the other man.
I love you, Jun...so very much.