[Fanfic] You [Ohno x Aki]
Title: You [Ohno side]
Profanity: We’re all adults…does it matter?
Rating: Three stars - Still at a sane level (?)
Pairing: Ohno x Aki [by request]
Status: One-shot/Drabbles…for now?
Author’s warning: Completely fiction, but I could’ve been born a psychic, so I can never tell if it’ll stay fiction…but for now, definitely fiction.
Breathe, just breathe… Taking a long, deep breath, he held it before exhaling.
He was tired. Even though he didn’t want to admit it to anyone, but he’s just plain tired. Concerts, acting, his Freestyle exhibition that’s still going, promotions, performances, TV shows, radio… Looking at his own reflection in the dressing room now, he could see the visible signs.
Trying to pull the corners of his mouth into a smile, it just fell miserably again.
Slumping forward, he leaned his head against his arms, feeling his back muscles becoming just a little taut. Still, he’s never been the type to complain. Even when the other members asked, he just replied that he’s fine. I don’t want them to worry about me.
He misses fishing right now: the open sea, the summer sun. People made fun of him fishing but to him, it was his escape.
He’s the type of man who requires a quiet place when he’s stressed so he would often take a train ride out of the hustle and bustle of the busy city toward the sea. Near Tokyo Bay, he would walk and sit and think without a care in the world, releasing every worry and fear to the open sea.
Near Tokyo Bay was a particular park he would often go to that carried the smell of the sea on the wind: his favourite place. It was there that he first met -
“Ohno-san? It’s time for your scene,” called out one of the filming crew. “Alright.” He could only dutifully answer.
I wonder what she’s doing now…
---
A day off…finally. He had been avoiding everyone’s questions of where he wanted to go or what he wanted to do on his day off, even Ninomiya who had asked. “I’m off, okaa-chan,” he called from the front entrance after having laced up his shoes.
“Alright, just be careful,” she called back. Smiling, he left the house, feeling lighter than he has been the past week. Drama shoots were getting much more taxing and public appearances too, which is why he wanted to go at all costs today.
Casting a wary glance upwards, he felt a twinge of worry that it might rain.
Still, it was nothing to dampen his spirits. Heading into the station, he hopped onto a train bound for TokyoBay as usual. Everyone paid him no mind: an elderly couple, a few young boys arguing about who gets to play the PSP next and a young couple out on a date. Perfect.
It was all he could do to just wait patiently for the train to arrive at its destination.
After 20 minutes, he finally got there, greeted by the strong sweep of salty wind. The sky wasn’t all too pleasant today, but summer was just as unpredictable of a season as any of the others, so it might not rain after all.
Heading down a grassy slope, he cast his gaze around, hoping to find…there! His steps were lighter now as he made his way past a few people walking around. “Aki-chan!” he called out, finally feeling relief to be able to say her name. She turned right then, her face with a big smile as usual as she received him in a hug.
“Satoshi…I’ve missed you.”
Her voice, even though muffled because she had buried her face into his jacket, was a delight to his ears. “I’m sorry, work’s been crazy,” he had to apologize. She was still clinging on to him as if afraid that he would disappear if she lets go.
So cute.
“I know, I’ve been watching. You’re so thin now…” she pulled back a little, her eyes filled with worry now as they looked up at him.
“Hey, I’m fine. So you have the entire day with me, what do you want to do?” he grinned, trying to change the subject. He felt a little guilty for making her look so concerned, but it wasn’t as if he was starving himself on purpose.
“No matter what, I’ll have to feed you first. Come on,” she pulled at him suddenly, heading down the path. It was all he could do to keep up with her, amidst protests. “W-Wait, where…” was about all he could get out though.
Not that it really matters one way or the other. He knew her well enough to understand that once she’s set her mind on something, there really is no stopping her. So he let her drag him, putting up no resistance whatsoever as she continued down the path.
Aki-chan…a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
---
He hasn’t had food this good in a long time. Well, that’s probably an exaggeration though since he ate the same thing last week. Still, it felt good going down his throat as if he was eating it for the first time…or as if he has never tasted food before.
“Slow down, Satoshi, or you’ll choke,” Aki laughed, across from him, eyes happy now that he was eating. It wasn’t like he’ll start to gain weight again because of one bowl of ramen but he was glad she looked happier, just watching him eat.
“You -” a small dribble of soup spilled from the corner of his mouth, making her burst out laughing. Wiping with the back of his hand, he tried again after making sure he swallowed, “You’re not going to eat?”
She shook her head, passing him a napkin. He would’ve insisted that she ate something but she just seemed content sitting there watching. He finished off his ramen with sated relish. “Thank you for the meal,” he set his chopsticks down with a click. “How do you feel?” she asked.
“Mm, I feel…like I want to go fishing!” he announced, making her laugh again.
They left the ramen shop after paying and slowly walked hand in hand down the street. “Is it really okay?” she asked, her voice a little quiet as she was pretending to be interested in a shop’s window display. “No matter what, I won’t let it break us, okay?” he squeezed her hand a little to reassure her.
He supposed he was the selfish one, getting her involved in his hectic life. It’s understandable that he’s an idol and there are probably paparazzi around just to make this into a big deal but they shouldn’t blame him. He’s only human after all, not a robot.
They made their way back to the park as the wind picked up. “Are you sure about fishing? It looks like…” she looked up at the sky that had turned a leaden grey, threatening to rain. He didn’t even notice. He was paying more attention to how their steps were matching instead of what the weather was like.
Now that she’s mentioned it, he looked up only to find that she was right. “Let’s go home then,” he smiled. Aki, understanding that he meant his home, merely happily followed along. Halfway to the station, rain poured in large drops, drenching them as they got onto the train.
He slipped off his jacket and gave it to her, making sure to wrap her shoulders and hold her close. He didn’t care if anyone saw; he wasn’t the type to hide his relationships since it’s always too troublesome.
But he was still wary because he didn’t want her being involved in it. The things they’d say to break her…and them apart. He shivered just thinking about it. She mistakenly thought he was cold and started to rub his arms to give him warmth.
He held her closer, one hand on the back of her head as she leaned against him.
I can’t lose her.
Just thinking that way made him feel fear. I…I just can’t lose her.
---
“Where did you hear that?” He slipped out of the living room, phone pressed to his ear. “It’s hard to say, Riida…but it’s creating a big mess right now. Where are you?” The background was noisy, like people arguing or something.
“I’m at home. Are they telling me to come to the office?” he felt cold worry in his chest but he did promise that he’ll fight for this, at whatever cost.
He still couldn’t help feeling worried for his future though.
“Better to stay there for now, Riida. You might get caught by fans or something if you try to head down here. We’ll try to handle it for now, but I’ll call you if something comes up. Sho-chan said he’ll try to talk to Shachou.”
“Thanks, Aiba-chan. Call me if you know anything.” Setting down the phone, he breathed a sigh. A rumour already…that was fast. A part of him was already expecting it after all.
Still…not this fast…
He couldn’t let her know. It’ll just make her worry. And he doesn’t want to do anything to make that smile disappear.
Kaa-chan would know though…a voice in his head just had to remind him. It’s true, nothing escapes his mother. She’ll know immediately that something’s wrong.
I won’t say anything unless she asks.
His phone vibrated against his palm now. “Hello?” he could feel that same drained, stressed feeling he had settle again on his shoulders.
“Satoshi-kun, are you alright?” The voice on the other end sounded so concerned he had to smile. “I’m fine…I think. Just tired, that’s all. How are things over there?” He’s always honest with his members. After all, they know him the best after his family.
“A bit chaotic but we’re still sticking by you. I’ve spoken with Shachou and he told me he already knew about you and…her. He wants to know what you want to do next.” That last line caught him a bit by surprise.
It was undoubted that unlike his public image, Johnny really does care for his boys. Only those in the Jimusho truly know that, and he will take no action without consent of the person in question, even if it makes him look bad.
On the other hand, to show order, he will not hesitate to take any amount of action, even if it makes him look bad. Which was why he was seriously worrying right at that moment.
“Going public with this will probably be bad right? But I don’t want to cover this up either,” he spoke honestly like he always does. Sho on the other end didn’t say a word to interrupt. “Honestly speaking, I don’t know what to do right now.”
Finally, Sho spoke up. “Satoshi-kun, if I can suggest, it’s better to take the cover up. I’m sorry it has to be like this when I know how happy you are with her, but it’s necessary. We can’t have people abandoning us while we have everything going for us.”
He hated to admit it to himself but Sho was right. After all, their fans and all that they’ve worked for up to this point has to come first. He said as much, and he could hear the smile in Sho’s voice.
“Shachou already knew you’d say that. He’s making the necessary preparations now. Ohno-kun…stay there for now and stay with her. We don’t know what the press or the fans will do if…” Sho trailed off, unwilling to finish the sentence.
It was more than clear enough to him. “Thanks, Sho-kun. Call me again if you need anything.” Finally he set the phone down.
After a few minutes sitting in silence to gather his thoughts, he returned to the living room. “Sorry, it was just work,” he told the two most important women in his life, who were looking at him quizzically.
They didn’t question him when he said ‘work’ and went back to watching his drama that was on TV. It felt surreal to watch himself act, since he normally tries to avoid it. He felt somehow embarrassed of himself at the same time…but his worries still swirled in his mind.
Aki was happily chatting with his mother as they watched, pointing out various parts of the episode as they discussed. Her laugh pierced right through his clouded mind and he felt just a little relief that she was here with him.
His phone again: a mail this time. “Captain, they’re trying to make the publishers retract the pictures before they print it for public consumption or they’ll sue for defamation to your integrity. But I’ll be honest: those pictures really can ruin you. I saw them myself. Be careful.” It was from Nino.
His heart sank downwards, leaving a cold trail that made him shiver. He knows the penalty of being with someone in the Jimusho…no that’s not right, Johnny never actually specified that they can never have girlfriends or lovers. But if we’re caught…
Another mail: “Riida…Shachou just said that he won’t suspend you. After all, if he does, then it proves the rumours to be true and it’ll jeopardize both you and her. So he’ll deny all claims if this gets out of hand and all of us here will protect you and act as normal. President’s orders.”
That made him feel a little relief. It was MatsuJun and judging from the way he wrote it, all the members were pleading with the Shachou about his case.
“Arigatou,” he wrote back and sent to all four members.
---
His mother made him talk as soon as she got him into the kitchen. “Alright, what happened, Satoshi?” she asked. He nearly laughed: he already had a feeling she’d know. He’s just lucky she’s that understanding though.
“They caught me on a date with Aki-chan on film,” he said plainly. He wasn’t sure how other parents would act but his will never overreact under any circumstance.
A part of him was convinced that if he says something as ridiculous as ‘I want a sex change’ they’ll just smile and help him through the process.
“Does Aki know?” she asked, pouring some hot water into the teapot. “No…and I don’t want to tell her. She doesn’t need to worry about this.” She smiled as she stirred the tea.
“You’re wrong, Satoshi. Because you are who you are, you have more of a reason to tell her. She’s stronger than you think, that girl…and she won’t leave you just because you’re involved in some tabloid rumour,” she finally turned to him, reassuring him of her words.
“But I’m trying to protect her,” he had to say it. “And then what? If you’re serious about this girl, there’s no harm in protecting her…but don’t keep her in the dark is all I’m saying. These are the things that you’ll have to go through together if you want to stay together.”
Lifting the teapot onto a tray, she headed out the kitchen, indicating the end of the conversation.
He was left standing there with his thoughts and her words ringing through his head. It wasn’t as if he didn’t want to just tell her everything. But he was afraid that this won’t be the last time. How long will she last before she decides enough is enough?
That was something he didn’t want to know.
Not everyone’s made to endure this kind of stress and torment. That’s why when one chooses to be an idol, you give up a part of your freedom at the same time. Not everyone can handle that kind of pressure when dealing with idols…
He wanted to believe Aki’s different than that. But at the same time, he knew his mother was right.
After all, a woman who cannot handle that kind of pressure will have no strength to stay in his life.
And he’d rather find out about it sooner than later.
---
What was the reason why I didn’t want to tell her again?
She was smiling at him now, one hand caressing the side of his face. “I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t want to make you tell me what it was since you said it was ‘work’,” she said, her voice gentle.
She was accepting it gracefully, seemingly unfazed by what he had just told her. He had expected she would be shocked and worried and possibly ask a million questions but here she was: calm and staring at him directly in the eyes.
He felt as if he overreacted.
“Y-You’re not worried about this or something? I mean we’re talking about your safety. They might come after you if they find out about this,” he stated his worry. He had to. After all, he should worry for the both of them.
“Satoshi…I knew that something like this would come someday. After all, I know who you are and what you do. Things like this are unavoidable. I mean…how long can we stay ‘hidden’ anyways? But I have no intention of leaving you because of this.”
He saw that familiar determination in her eyes. It finally made him smile, realizing that she’s not going anywhere.
Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead against hers, feeling the relief coursing through his veins.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For not leaving me…”
“Silly…of course I won’t.”
“Why not..?”
“Do I need a reason?”
“Not really…but do you have one?”
She laughed. “You don’t want me to stay?”
“Of course I do. That’s not even a legitimate question.”
“Then why did you ask?”
He scrunched up his nose. “It was on impulse.”
“I know.”
“Aki..?”
“Hm?”
“I love you.”
Silence. The clock nearby ticked so loud he could hear it echo in his ears.
“I love you too, Satoshi.”
A soft brush of his lips against hers told him she meant every word.
Author's notes: This was done by request of Aki-chan, so if it's not in character or whatever, then I do apologize. I'm bad at staying in character so I suppose that's my downfall as a writer. Still, for those who read it, thanks. This is what I get for writing while I'm sick lol...I wonder if people really read my fics... *expects a very long 'kyaaaa~' from Aki when she reads this tomorrow...*