Very late Transformers review
Because neither Jasmine nor I is rolling in the money right now, we just got around to seeing Transformers tonight; and that was only because she won free passes to the movie at her job (for being awesome and selling tons of stuff to geeks (including a PS3, which means she can sell anything).
As we were walking out of the theater, I summed up my feelings towards the movie thus: It was everything I hate about movies, and I still found it incredibly entertaining. Jasmine has complained before about Oscar Formula movies, but there's also a Blockbuster Formula. Said formula includes lots of pop culture references that are meant to entertain the lowest common denominator, pandering to current social trends, lots of explosions, "heartwarming" or "heartrending" moments set to saccharine music, and an obligatory romantic subplot. Transformers had all of these, and in the case of this film they were often contradictory. For example, much of the movie plays like an army recruitment film, but when Optimus Prime starts talking about the destruction of the All Spark (the robots' main energy source) being the only way to end the war with the Decepticons and bring peace to the world, it's hard not to read just a bit of anti-oil sentiment into it. However, some of the pop culture jokes actually work before being driven mercilessly into the ground. The Decepticons identifying the main human character by his eBay user name is funny the first time a giant scary Decepticon yells it in his face, but of course since it's funny once, there have to be a million other unfunny eBay jokes throughout the movie. Of course given the fact that the movie probably sets a new record for most product placements in a single film, they were likely selling endorsements by the joke.
Where Transformers really succeeds, and this should come as no surprise, is in the area of giant robots destroying cities and each other. I have absolutely no qualms about saying that these are the greatest giant robot battles ever animated. Take your pick of giant robot anime, and this trounces it. While it references everything from King Kong to The Matrix, the battles are unique and exceedingly well done, from conception to realization. The issue of beauty in violence is deeper than I really want to get into at the moment, but I will say that the scene of Starscream switching back and forth from robot to jet mode while swatting Air Force jets out of the sky is something I'm inclined to call pretty in the same way the fight scenes in a great kung fu movie are pretty. And that's just one example of many. My only real qualm wit the robot fighting is that the battle between Optimus and Megatron is a letdown. They set everything up perfectly, showing Optimus fucking decapitate the big, scary Bonecrusher and Megatron easily rip Jazz in two; but then the actual battle rolls around, and Optimus barely puts up a fight before the puny human has to save the day. I won't complain too much because the ending seems to set up Starscream, who I've liked better than Megatron ever since the old cartoons, returning as the Decepticon leader in the inevitable sequel. But next time around, I hope the climactic robot battle lives up to its potential.
Ending the review with a recommendation seems pointless because this isn't the kind of movie people are really on the fence about. So really all I can do by way of a conclusion is just reiterate that Transformers contains every single thing I hate about blockbuster movies, and I still liked it quite a bit. If a fraction of the care that went into the battles would have gone into the writing, this could have been a seriously great movie.
As we were walking out of the theater, I summed up my feelings towards the movie thus: It was everything I hate about movies, and I still found it incredibly entertaining. Jasmine has complained before about Oscar Formula movies, but there's also a Blockbuster Formula. Said formula includes lots of pop culture references that are meant to entertain the lowest common denominator, pandering to current social trends, lots of explosions, "heartwarming" or "heartrending" moments set to saccharine music, and an obligatory romantic subplot. Transformers had all of these, and in the case of this film they were often contradictory. For example, much of the movie plays like an army recruitment film, but when Optimus Prime starts talking about the destruction of the All Spark (the robots' main energy source) being the only way to end the war with the Decepticons and bring peace to the world, it's hard not to read just a bit of anti-oil sentiment into it. However, some of the pop culture jokes actually work before being driven mercilessly into the ground. The Decepticons identifying the main human character by his eBay user name is funny the first time a giant scary Decepticon yells it in his face, but of course since it's funny once, there have to be a million other unfunny eBay jokes throughout the movie. Of course given the fact that the movie probably sets a new record for most product placements in a single film, they were likely selling endorsements by the joke.
Where Transformers really succeeds, and this should come as no surprise, is in the area of giant robots destroying cities and each other. I have absolutely no qualms about saying that these are the greatest giant robot battles ever animated. Take your pick of giant robot anime, and this trounces it. While it references everything from King Kong to The Matrix, the battles are unique and exceedingly well done, from conception to realization. The issue of beauty in violence is deeper than I really want to get into at the moment, but I will say that the scene of Starscream switching back and forth from robot to jet mode while swatting Air Force jets out of the sky is something I'm inclined to call pretty in the same way the fight scenes in a great kung fu movie are pretty. And that's just one example of many. My only real qualm wit the robot fighting is that the battle between Optimus and Megatron is a letdown. They set everything up perfectly, showing Optimus fucking decapitate the big, scary Bonecrusher and Megatron easily rip Jazz in two; but then the actual battle rolls around, and Optimus barely puts up a fight before the puny human has to save the day. I won't complain too much because the ending seems to set up Starscream, who I've liked better than Megatron ever since the old cartoons, returning as the Decepticon leader in the inevitable sequel. But next time around, I hope the climactic robot battle lives up to its potential.
Ending the review with a recommendation seems pointless because this isn't the kind of movie people are really on the fence about. So really all I can do by way of a conclusion is just reiterate that Transformers contains every single thing I hate about blockbuster movies, and I still liked it quite a bit. If a fraction of the care that went into the battles would have gone into the writing, this could have been a seriously great movie.