The Weekly Ginta-Corner ! #3
Previously in Issue: #1 , #2
Shinpachi:"So...hi there! How've you been this week ? It's about time again, for the~ Weekly Ginta-Corner! And look, this is already the third time we're doing this !"
Gin-san:"The third time...? I think I'm going to collapse."
Kagura:"Do you still don't want to do this, Gin-chan? Get used to it already, we have to do it anyway."
Gin-san:"No, right now that's not the problem. It's just that..."
Shinpachi:"Woah, Gin-san. You really don't look good today. Are you alright ?"
Gin-san:"Actually...if you ask me like that..NO, I'm NOT alright...Not in the slightest, tiniest bit!"
Kagura:"What is it, Gin-chan? Do you have to go to the toilet?"
Shinpachi:"You're a girl,Kagura-chan, don't say- "
Gin-san:"Listen up you bastards! You may have forgotten it already, but my delicate heart was hurt last week !"
Kagura:"Shinpachi, what is he talking about?"
Shinpachi:"Aah~ , I understand, Gin-san. He probably means THAT."
Kagura:"What's THAT?"
Shinpachi:"Can't you remember? It's the ki-"
Gin-san:"OH MY GOD, DON'T SAY IT !!!!" -having a breakdown-
Kagura:"Ah! You mean THAT thing!"
-Gin-san is lying on the floor and mumbling to the TV in front of him-
Gin-san:*mumbles*"Ketsuno Ana is nice, isn't she?"
Kagura:"Look, Shinpachi! He's talking of assholes!" *ketsu no ana means asshole XD it's a pun on the common name ketsuno and "ana" standing for "announcer".*
Kagura:"I think he's already infected."
Shinpachi:"With THAT?"
-Gin-san overhears the conversation-
Gin-san:"What's THAT again? What infection?"
Takasugi:"I think she means THE virus...the Yaoi virus. In common term it means, they think you got ga-"
Gin-san:"AAAAAAAH! THERE IS HE , THE FIRST KISS RAPIST!!!"
-......-
Gin-san:"Oi! WHO ARE YOU CALLING G...G-G-GAY?!! YOOOUU....!!! And where the hell did you come from ?!!!"
Takasugi:"Not really...."
Gin-san:"Not really WHAT ?!?!"
Takasugi:"Well, first of all, I'm not some kiss rapist....second, I didn't CALL you gay and then, I came by again, because ..."
Gin-san:*rolls his eyes* "Lemme guess, it stood in your script ?"
Takasugi:"No, because I wanted to make fun of you."
Gin-san:"I don't know...should I cry or bash his head in?...wait, that's not it! Do you know how traumatized I am to have been k...k...k-k-k-ki...ah, I can't say it, you know what I mean, by y-y-you?!!!"
Takasugi:"I didn't kiss you! Why wouldn you think that?"
Gin-san:"You don't call THAT a kiss ?!!! Where are we ?! At take-my-brains-out-and-forget-what-I-did-one-week-ago?!?!!"
Takasugi:"No, what you misunderstood as a kiss was the FANSERVICE."
Gin-san:"What the hell??! What's the difference?!"
Takasugi:"A kiss is a kiss and fanservice is fanservice."
Gin-san:"That's THE SAME!"
-Takasugi draws nearer-
Takasugi:"No! Fanservice is the thing from last time and it doesn't hold any personal meaning, and an actual KISS is ...-"
-One hand resting at Gin-sans cheeck, he pulls him to his face, trying to kiss...-
*DONK*
-Badump- *Sound of a body falling on the floor*
Shinpachi & Kagura:"WE'RE STILL HERE YOU TWO!"
Gin-san:"....."
-Gin-san pulling himself together from the shock-
Gin-san:"Woah...th-th-th-thank y-y-y-ou....K-K-Kagura and Shinp-p-pachi.."
Shinpachi:"No problem, Gin-san. From that conversation, we finally realized that it wasn't your fault...That Takasugi-san...to think that he was THAT much of a pervert."
Takasugi:--------- *blood flowing out of his body*
Gin-san:"Sh-sh-sh-sh-shock!"
Kagura:"Well, but Gin-chan. Now your first kiss is already gone."
Shinpachi:"Nonono! If you think about it, it's not, because Takasugi-san already said it, right ? It didn't count because it was fanservice!"
Kagura:"Ah! I see! Then we still have a chance!"
Gin-san:"What are we going to do with THIS ? *points at random blood on floor, unable to look at the object of anemia*
Kagura:"My mum said, if you want to get rid of something in secret, you gotta sell it in the black market!"
Gin-san:"What is with this mother?! What is she teaching her own daughter?!! And through what hell did she go up until now?!"
Kagura:"We could sell his liver-"
Shinpachi:"No! No Kagura-chan! How much he may be a pervert, we'll be criminals if we do that!"
Takasugi:"*sobb* "is that the only..problem..?" *goes out cold again*
Gin-san:"hm...I have an idea! Let's just forget about him and start this episode new !"
Kagura & Shinpachi:"Okay..."
-....-
-everyone looking here-
-H-h-hey! What are you looking at me like that?-
Gin-san, Shinpachi & Kagura:"Do it already!"
-I know , I know ....*mumble* since when am I their bitch ?...D I N G - D O N G -
Gin-san:"Huh? Did someone ring the bell?"
-No...that were the transformation sounds....aaand RESET!"
....
-After last weeks occurence, Gintoki's first kiss was stolen. But since it was fanservice there was still a chance. So the Yorozuya sets out on a mission for Gintoki to steal a maiden's kiss. -
Kagura:"By the way, Gin-chan. Aren't you too old to not have kissed before?"
Gin-san:"Huaghpft..gh"
Shinpachi:"Ouch, that surely hurt."
-The 3 of them stepping out on the street -
Gin-san:"Soo...I just have to get a girl to kiss me, hm? A girl, girl girl...."
-*looking around*-
Shinpachi:"Hmm...I don't really know how we should do that...and since our expert here doesn't know anything either, why don't we ask some popular guys ?"
Gin-san & Kagura:"Popular guys?!"
- some time later -
Shinpachi:"And here we are, at the Shinsengumi Headquarters!"
Gin-san:"The Shinsengumi??!! No way! They're just a bunch of inexperienced taxrobbers! And I don't want them to know...."
Kagura:"Know that you are something like an iron maiden?"
Gin-san:"Who told you that? I just never kissed before..."
Shinpachi:"Kagura-chan...don't ask further....he'll just lie himself out of his embarrassment."
Gin-san:"Ehhh..eh..EH?! Did you just say something, glasses ?!"
- Some time later, inside of the Shinsengumi -
Hijikata:"So what do you want? We're busy here, you know."
Okita:"You're busy with what, Hijikata-san? Even though you always slack off and sleep on duty..."
Hijikata:"Oooi!! That's YOU, you ass! YOU are always taking your job lighly!"
Okita:"I'm not taking my job lightly. The only thing I'm taking lightly is YOU, Hijikata-san!"
Hijikata:"ALRIGHT, LET'S TAKE IT OUTSIDE, BITCH!"
*BONG*
Gin-san:"WOULD YOU LISTEN ALREADY, YOU TAXROBBERS!"
Hijikata & Okita: *hurt* "What?!"
Shinpachi:"Uhm, the truth is...we have to find a girl for Gin-san...because...-"
- while they were talking, Yamazaki was playing badminton nearby...."
Yamazaki:"Hehe, just look at this! Drive B!" *Drive B is an attack of Echizen Ryouma from "The Prince of Tennis", Yamazaki always imitates with badminton*
- wheeaaa~ *ball flying past opponent* -
Yamazaki:"Huh? Maybe that was too strong...Mada mada dane!" *catchphrase from Echizen, meaning "Still have lots more to work on"*
-whee~ ball flying -
Hijikata:"Ah, I see! Hehe, So you were REALLY that unpopular!"
-whee~ ball still fyling -
Okita:"What are you saying Hijikata-san....You are also unpopular...always creeping the girls out with your mayo." -truth-
-whee~ ball fyling towards Hijikata's head-
Hijikata:"Ooi! You...-"
*DANG* - Gooaaal!!!!-
-Hijikata falls forward-
Gin-san:"Wh-what!!"
*RUMBLE*
-.......-
*SMOOOOCH*
-Hijikata had fallen on top of Gintoki...and they were coincidentally....-
Shinpachi & Kagura & Okita:" K-K-KISSING?!!!!"
- silent moment of shock and surreality -
-3....2....1....-
"GYAAAAAAHHH!!!!"
Hijikata:"MY FIRST KISS!!! WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!!"
Gin-san:"GYAAH! MY T.R.U.E. FIRST KISS! AND THIS WAS YOUR FAULT!"
-Gin-san runns away crying -
Shinpachi:".....Oh no...something terrible is happening..."
Kagura:"You mean, that the whole world is against Gin-chan kissing a girl?"
Shinpachi:"Worse...I'm kinda getting used to this..-"
- somewhere in the distance in a café -
Gin-san:"Damn.....I'll just drown my sorrows in strawberry milk!!!"
Gin-san *thinks* If I just had had enough calcium that time !! .....Listen up kids! Trouble with tests? Fights with parents? No problem! If you have enough calcium, all of these will be solved!
- Suddenly, Gin-san feels someone's presence ....or the sound of slimy natto being stirred..-
Gin-san:"No, what are YOU doing here, Perverted-SM Ninja-Girl 13 ?!! That's the last thing I needed." *pun on Golgo 13*
Sa-chan:"Yes, Gin-san! Please humiliate me more with that merciless sword of your words !"
Gin-san:"No, you can't call that even human anymore....I'm outta here...The bill to her here!!"
Sa-chan:"Gin-samaaa~!"
- Gin-san walking on the street -
Gin-san:"I guess should give it up...my first kiss got already stolen by a man...2 TIMES....and a third already attempted..."
Otae-san:"Araa~, Gin-san what are you doing here ?"
- In this moment, Gintoki was seeing a light glimmer of hope in this endless nightmare. -
Gin-san:"Ah! The truth is..*explains everything to her*"
Otae-san:"I see...so you want me to..."
Gin-san:"Please, you're my last hope to restore a part of my honour!!"
Otae-san:"...Well then it can't be helped....close your eyes..."
-close-
-....-
~*BAMMM!!!*~
-Gin-san lying on the floor, nosebleeding-
Gin-san:"Wh-What...?"
Otae-san:"What? I properly kissed Gin-san...with my fist in the face!"
Gin-san goes unconcious~
H.O.P.E.L.E.S.S.
- some hours later back at the Yorozuya -
Shinpachi:"I can't believe you asked my sister! You must've been really desperate!
Kagura:"But he's still living...must be a wonder."
Gin-san:"That's the only wonder that was granted to me....the wonder of calcium! I knew it!"
-And with that this weeks Gintama ends already..-
Shinpachi:"Ahh....the author wanted me to tell you something..! She was already dead-tired when she started to write this, and since she didn't have any school this week, there shouldn't even have been a Ginta-Corner, but she did it for the fans..."
Kagura:"Didn't she do it because this series is weekly and she didn't want to miss a week right in the beginning?"
Gin-san:"Shut up and let her rest already! ..."
Gin-san, Kagura & Shinpachi:" So...see you next week!"
- END -
btw...I'm really half dead right now, so good night~
Shinpachi:"So...hi there! How've you been this week ? It's about time again, for the~ Weekly Ginta-Corner! And look, this is already the third time we're doing this !"
Gin-san:"The third time...? I think I'm going to collapse."
Kagura:"Do you still don't want to do this, Gin-chan? Get used to it already, we have to do it anyway."
Gin-san:"No, right now that's not the problem. It's just that..."
Shinpachi:"Woah, Gin-san. You really don't look good today. Are you alright ?"
Gin-san:"Actually...if you ask me like that..NO, I'm NOT alright...Not in the slightest, tiniest bit!"
Kagura:"What is it, Gin-chan? Do you have to go to the toilet?"
Shinpachi:"You're a girl,Kagura-chan, don't say- "
Gin-san:"Listen up you bastards! You may have forgotten it already, but my delicate heart was hurt last week !"
Kagura:"Shinpachi, what is he talking about?"
Shinpachi:"Aah~ , I understand, Gin-san. He probably means THAT."
Kagura:"What's THAT?"
Shinpachi:"Can't you remember? It's the ki-"
Gin-san:"OH MY GOD, DON'T SAY IT !!!!" -having a breakdown-
Kagura:"Ah! You mean THAT thing!"
-Gin-san is lying on the floor and mumbling to the TV in front of him-
Gin-san:*mumbles*"Ketsuno Ana is nice, isn't she?"
Kagura:"Look, Shinpachi! He's talking of assholes!" *ketsu no ana means asshole XD it's a pun on the common name ketsuno and "ana" standing for "announcer".*
Kagura:"I think he's already infected."
Shinpachi:"With THAT?"
-Gin-san overhears the conversation-
Gin-san:"What's THAT again? What infection?"
Takasugi:"I think she means THE virus...the Yaoi virus. In common term it means, they think you got ga-"
Gin-san:"AAAAAAAH! THERE IS HE , THE FIRST KISS RAPIST!!!"
-......-
Gin-san:"Oi! WHO ARE YOU CALLING G...G-G-GAY?!! YOOOUU....!!! And where the hell did you come from ?!!!"
Takasugi:"Not really...."
Gin-san:"Not really WHAT ?!?!"
Takasugi:"Well, first of all, I'm not some kiss rapist....second, I didn't CALL you gay and then, I came by again, because ..."
Gin-san:*rolls his eyes* "Lemme guess, it stood in your script ?"
Takasugi:"No, because I wanted to make fun of you."
Gin-san:"I don't know...should I cry or bash his head in?...wait, that's not it! Do you know how traumatized I am to have been k...k...k-k-k-ki...ah, I can't say it, you know what I mean, by y-y-you?!!!"
Takasugi:"I didn't kiss you! Why wouldn you think that?"
Gin-san:"You don't call THAT a kiss ?!!! Where are we ?! At take-my-brains-out-and-forget-what-I-did-one-week-ago?!?!!"
Takasugi:"No, what you misunderstood as a kiss was the FANSERVICE."
Gin-san:"What the hell??! What's the difference?!"
Takasugi:"A kiss is a kiss and fanservice is fanservice."
Gin-san:"That's THE SAME!"
-Takasugi draws nearer-
Takasugi:"No! Fanservice is the thing from last time and it doesn't hold any personal meaning, and an actual KISS is ...-"
-One hand resting at Gin-sans cheeck, he pulls him to his face, trying to kiss...-
*DONK*
-Badump- *Sound of a body falling on the floor*
Shinpachi & Kagura:"WE'RE STILL HERE YOU TWO!"
Gin-san:"....."
-Gin-san pulling himself together from the shock-
Gin-san:"Woah...th-th-th-thank y-y-y-ou....K-K-Kagura and Shinp-p-pachi.."
Shinpachi:"No problem, Gin-san. From that conversation, we finally realized that it wasn't your fault...That Takasugi-san...to think that he was THAT much of a pervert."
Takasugi:--------- *blood flowing out of his body*
Gin-san:"Sh-sh-sh-sh-shock!"
Kagura:"Well, but Gin-chan. Now your first kiss is already gone."
Shinpachi:"Nonono! If you think about it, it's not, because Takasugi-san already said it, right ? It didn't count because it was fanservice!"
Kagura:"Ah! I see! Then we still have a chance!"
Gin-san:"What are we going to do with THIS ? *points at random blood on floor, unable to look at the object of anemia*
Kagura:"My mum said, if you want to get rid of something in secret, you gotta sell it in the black market!"
Gin-san:"What is with this mother?! What is she teaching her own daughter?!! And through what hell did she go up until now?!"
Kagura:"We could sell his liver-"
Shinpachi:"No! No Kagura-chan! How much he may be a pervert, we'll be criminals if we do that!"
Takasugi:"*sobb* "is that the only..problem..?" *goes out cold again*
Gin-san:"hm...I have an idea! Let's just forget about him and start this episode new !"
Kagura & Shinpachi:"Okay..."
-....-
-everyone looking here-
-H-h-hey! What are you looking at me like that?-
Gin-san, Shinpachi & Kagura:"Do it already!"
-I know , I know ....*mumble* since when am I their bitch ?...D I N G - D O N G -
Gin-san:"Huh? Did someone ring the bell?"
-No...that were the transformation sounds....aaand RESET!"
....
-After last weeks occurence, Gintoki's first kiss was stolen. But since it was fanservice there was still a chance. So the Yorozuya sets out on a mission for Gintoki to steal a maiden's kiss. -
Kagura:"By the way, Gin-chan. Aren't you too old to not have kissed before?"
Gin-san:"Huaghpft..gh"
Shinpachi:"Ouch, that surely hurt."
-The 3 of them stepping out on the street -
Gin-san:"Soo...I just have to get a girl to kiss me, hm? A girl, girl girl...."
-*looking around*-
Shinpachi:"Hmm...I don't really know how we should do that...and since our expert here doesn't know anything either, why don't we ask some popular guys ?"
Gin-san & Kagura:"Popular guys?!"
- some time later -
Shinpachi:"And here we are, at the Shinsengumi Headquarters!"
Gin-san:"The Shinsengumi??!! No way! They're just a bunch of inexperienced taxrobbers! And I don't want them to know...."
Kagura:"Know that you are something like an iron maiden?"
Gin-san:"Who told you that? I just never kissed before..."
Shinpachi:"Kagura-chan...don't ask further....he'll just lie himself out of his embarrassment."
Gin-san:"Ehhh..eh..EH?! Did you just say something, glasses ?!"
- Some time later, inside of the Shinsengumi -
Hijikata:"So what do you want? We're busy here, you know."
Okita:"You're busy with what, Hijikata-san? Even though you always slack off and sleep on duty..."
Hijikata:"Oooi!! That's YOU, you ass! YOU are always taking your job lighly!"
Okita:"I'm not taking my job lightly. The only thing I'm taking lightly is YOU, Hijikata-san!"
Hijikata:"ALRIGHT, LET'S TAKE IT OUTSIDE, BITCH!"
*BONG*
Gin-san:"WOULD YOU LISTEN ALREADY, YOU TAXROBBERS!"
Hijikata & Okita: *hurt* "What?!"
Shinpachi:"Uhm, the truth is...we have to find a girl for Gin-san...because...-"
- while they were talking, Yamazaki was playing badminton nearby...."
Yamazaki:"Hehe, just look at this! Drive B!" *Drive B is an attack of Echizen Ryouma from "The Prince of Tennis", Yamazaki always imitates with badminton*
- wheeaaa~ *ball flying past opponent* -
Yamazaki:"Huh? Maybe that was too strong...Mada mada dane!" *catchphrase from Echizen, meaning "Still have lots more to work on"*
-whee~ ball flying -
Hijikata:"Ah, I see! Hehe, So you were REALLY that unpopular!"
-whee~ ball still fyling -
Okita:"What are you saying Hijikata-san....You are also unpopular...always creeping the girls out with your mayo." -truth-
-whee~ ball fyling towards Hijikata's head-
Hijikata:"Ooi! You...-"
*DANG* - Gooaaal!!!!-
-Hijikata falls forward-
Gin-san:"Wh-what!!"
*RUMBLE*
-.......-
*SMOOOOCH*
-Hijikata had fallen on top of Gintoki...and they were coincidentally....-
Shinpachi & Kagura & Okita:" K-K-KISSING?!!!!"
- silent moment of shock and surreality -
-3....2....1....-
"GYAAAAAAHHH!!!!"
Hijikata:"MY FIRST KISS!!! WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!!"
Gin-san:"GYAAH! MY T.R.U.E. FIRST KISS! AND THIS WAS YOUR FAULT!"
-Gin-san runns away crying -
Shinpachi:".....Oh no...something terrible is happening..."
Kagura:"You mean, that the whole world is against Gin-chan kissing a girl?"
Shinpachi:"Worse...I'm kinda getting used to this..-"
- somewhere in the distance in a café -
Gin-san:"Damn.....I'll just drown my sorrows in strawberry milk!!!"
Gin-san *thinks* If I just had had enough calcium that time !! .....Listen up kids! Trouble with tests? Fights with parents? No problem! If you have enough calcium, all of these will be solved!
- Suddenly, Gin-san feels someone's presence ....or the sound of slimy natto being stirred..-
Gin-san:"No, what are YOU doing here, Perverted-SM Ninja-Girl 13 ?!! That's the last thing I needed." *pun on Golgo 13*
Sa-chan:"Yes, Gin-san! Please humiliate me more with that merciless sword of your words !"
Gin-san:"No, you can't call that even human anymore....I'm outta here...The bill to her here!!"
Sa-chan:"Gin-samaaa~!"
- Gin-san walking on the street -
Gin-san:"I guess should give it up...my first kiss got already stolen by a man...2 TIMES....and a third already attempted..."
Otae-san:"Araa~, Gin-san what are you doing here ?"
- In this moment, Gintoki was seeing a light glimmer of hope in this endless nightmare. -
Gin-san:"Ah! The truth is..*explains everything to her*"
Otae-san:"I see...so you want me to..."
Gin-san:"Please, you're my last hope to restore a part of my honour!!"
Otae-san:"...Well then it can't be helped....close your eyes..."
-close-
-....-
~*BAMMM!!!*~
-Gin-san lying on the floor, nosebleeding-
Gin-san:"Wh-What...?"
Otae-san:"What? I properly kissed Gin-san...with my fist in the face!"
Gin-san goes unconcious~
H.O.P.E.L.E.S.S.
- some hours later back at the Yorozuya -
Shinpachi:"I can't believe you asked my sister! You must've been really desperate!
Kagura:"But he's still living...must be a wonder."
Gin-san:"That's the only wonder that was granted to me....the wonder of calcium! I knew it!"
-And with that this weeks Gintama ends already..-
Shinpachi:"Ahh....the author wanted me to tell you something..! She was already dead-tired when she started to write this, and since she didn't have any school this week, there shouldn't even have been a Ginta-Corner, but she did it for the fans..."
Kagura:"Didn't she do it because this series is weekly and she didn't want to miss a week right in the beginning?"
Gin-san:"Shut up and let her rest already! ..."
Gin-san, Kagura & Shinpachi:" So...see you next week!"
- END -
btw...I'm really half dead right now, so good night~