Oct 13, 2009 11:58
...that it was possible to be both so content and so utterly miserable at the same time... after 7 of the most fulfilling days of my life, I feel like I've been emptied out all over again... I'm empty and depressed and angry and yearning... All I want is to go back. Now, now, now.
If home is where your heart is, my home is now in Boston, because my heart sure as hell didn't come back with me, and what I do have is absolutely ruined from the separation. I can't stand it. I am an absolute train wreck right now, I really am. I want to just take every piece of my life that I can fit in my car and LEAVE. Run away to Boston to be with the ones I love. I feel like there is so little for me here, even when I know that isn't true.
This is far more than puppy love. Being away from them is nothing short of torture. I don't know how I'm going to make it through till my next visit, I really don't.
Come March, I am filling out the paperwork and transferring to Boston, it's as simple as that. I can't keep doing this to myself or to them.