Life update!
Well first off, obviously I'm alive lol! Although I'd understand if peeps thought I was dead, though its not unusual for me to drop off of the planet, like all the time! Blame work, manga, good t.v and google +. Life has been pretty eventful as usual and as usual not in good ways, but you soldier on as always.
Work as usual has been horribly busy. Seriously I get my surgery board clear and it fills up again, at times I think its getting to the point of ridiculous. Been at the U 7 years, once I hit 8 I'll start earning 2 days off a month. Hoping that will mean I can rack up more vacation time.
OMG it'll be nice to just take say 2 weeks off of work! And I mean take it off. Hubby took us on a trip to Traverse city and I didn't check mail nor phone messages from work and it was heaven!!!!!
I really needed it after this last loss. I had the MVA the day I started bleeding, gave myself one day to recover and headed back into work and in hindsight it was stupid and I should have given myself more time to grieve. Of course its hard to do that when work is calling you wanting you to fix something for them, half an hour before you're supposed to be hooked up to your i.v line.
Everyone at work was sympathetic, to the point they were sorry, but not sorry enough to bury me under work as soon as I returned. My boss was MIA and left me to deal with things and I was doing between 8-10 surgeries a day, trying to do post-op health checks and reports for all my surgeries. My body was out of whack, my hormones were out of whack and it just all came crashing down on top of me.
I don't think I realized just how much I was bottling and stressing until we got to that hotel room and I didn't have to do anything at all, except be excited about exploring a new place and enjoy the sun setting over the water.
Miscarriage #3 caused no scarring (YAY), but looks like I know may be suffering from adenomyosis, probably thanks to the MVA they had to perform. Le sigh.
I have an u/s on sunday so they can confirm its adenomyosis and not a fibroid. If its a fibroid the doctor is making sounds like he wants to do surgery. Which he'll get told he can stuff. That can wait until we're finished trying to have a baby.
If its confirmed as adenomyosis he says its only a small patch and shouldn't hurt anything... But I'm already starting to notice a horrible pattern of spotting in between periods. Which I've NEVER done before. Of course I've only had regular periods for the last two years, so who knows.
So far its not so bad, seems to only pick up around ovulation, seems worse this month since I started working out again. HAH! maybe I'm allergic to exercise now.
Ah well, that's one allergy I can live with since I sure as hell am not giving up working out. Exercise makes me feel too good.
Still have to keep an eye on it. Apparently if adenomyosis gets bad enough you can lose enough blood through constant spotting as well as periods to develop chronic anemia. Good thing I take that prenatal vitamin then!
Of course there is no cure for it, basically they fix it by taking your uterus out! On the plus side, the doctor says if a baby wants to settle there, thanks to the good blood flow it will stick nice and good!
Either way, starting to get hubby talking more on the idea of adoption so whatever happens we have a plan moving forward :)
We'll get this MRI done, I want to see if I can get the doctor to remove the rest of my endometriosis and then we have one more try with the drugs protocol he has me on, before we run out of options insurance wise.
Well not really, I could sign up with HAP and jump through their hoops. But after changing my diet and lifestyle to the point my doctor says I'm disgustingly healthy. Having endured surgeries, invasive tests, endless pokes for blood, repeated phlebitis thanks to all the pokes, horrible mood swings thanks to drugs and three heartbreaking losses.
I vote to not bother with different insurance and just start the adoption process. Nothing says we can't continue to try on our own and if it happens, then YAY we get one we managed to pop out ourselves in the midst of adoption, and YAY we got the two we wanted :) I mean if I did get a miracle and get pregnant, its not like I would stop the adoption process if we were blessed with a kid that way too.
If everyone else in my family can lead the most unhealthy lifestyles imaginable and breed like rabbits, and I can put in all this effort for 5+ years and still not be a mother, then I guess naturally just wasn't the way I was supposed to become a parent.
Like I said, I'll take this last stab at it and if its a bust, then we'll move on.
So yeah, fighting on RAWR! XD