[fic] Break the Stallion

[statr]

ENTRY 06
TITLE: Break the Stallion
RATING: PG-13
WORD COUNT: 8,114
NOTES: I don't really do first person POV... but hell, I sure tried :)


Recently, tales of a handsome highwayman, who ambushes unsuspecting travelers along the Mountain Wind trade route, had swept most popularly throughout Jarashi, a town that lay at the end of the perilous, long road that ran between it and the capital city.

It did not matter that the victims were old or young, male or female. He would prey on them all without a second thought. Or so they say.

I was that highwayman.

"Good sire, you want me to court your son?" I asked the elderly gentleman standing before me, sure my eyes must be shockingly wide open.

He sighed, looking noble, as if what he just requested of me was quite a reasonable thing to ask of a stranger who helped him up after a nasty-looking fall from his horse.

It would be even more unbelievable if he knew he was asking such a boon of a criminal who had helped him on a whim.

There I was, on my usual bout, waiting silently as a cat, I must say, for the next victim that would give their money to me, willingly or not, when I spotted this mighty fine carriage rumbling down the road, in the dark cloak of the night, without a guard in sight.

Foolish wealthy folks, as if a driver can stop me, I had thought scornfully. I approached carefully, my horse as trained in stealth as I am, waiting for the perfect chance to jump in on them.

But as the carriage approached, I noticed that something seemed to be off with the horse. The animal seemed to be restless, or perhaps even a little frustrated, as if having pent up anger in it for a long while. It didn't move at a constant speed, either speeding up suddenly, or slowing down just as sudden.

"It's overworked, you fools!" I muttered, not like they could hear me. "Did you even let it rest?"

The city was at least a good day's ride away from Jarashi. They should have let it have a water break at least halfway through. Right now, its tired, and possibly, very angry.

It's about to snap, I realised. And when a horse turns mad on you, it would not be a pleasant sight, and would probably end up in a nasty way, especially since one side of the road has a long drop into the sea.

Pulling my horse backwards, I wondered whether to flee before I get dragged into the situation myself. But I knew I couldn't just let whoever is inside the carriage, and the driver, face the possibly terrible ending to their lives without trying to help.

I may be a highwayman, but I could not condone to murders by either horses or humans alike.

Taking a deep breath, I brought my horse to leap forward onto the road, just at the very moment the other horse reared up, standing on its two hind feet, the driver struggling to keep balance while the carriage was perilously leaning sideways.

"Whoa!" I had exclaimed. The driver had utterly lost hold on its reins, which now flew freely according to whichever way the horse swung its head. It was no good. The carriage was really going to tip over the edge, endangering whatever passenger was inside.

Bracing myself as I stepped onto my horse's saddle(such an obedient boy), I prepared for the right moment to jump onto their horse's back. Almost losing my balance, I found the right timing and leapt, landing on the other horse, quickly grabbing on to its reins.

Using my strength and the experience I had gained with horses, I pulled at its reins, bringing it to rear, before whispering in its ears, soothing it to my best knowledge, and before the carriage really did drop into the sea.

After everything had calmed down, the old man had appeared out of the carriage and introduced himself. And made that preposterous offer.

As I waited for him to actually give me an answer, I took a look at his horse. It was a fine-looking stallion, chestnut brown, with a star on its forehead. Pity about its temper though. I rubbed its cheek. It nuzzled me in return. Horses always loved me; it was a kind of inborn talent. Definitely a useful thing to have when you live off robbing wealthy folks.

"Chestnut is newly purchased, so I understand that he's still not used to me. I've already forgiven him for misbehaving," the cracked old man said.

No, nothing to do with him being new. You just overworked him, I thought.

I stared at my own horse, tied to a tree a little distance away from there. My horse was rather old, but still fine on its legs. It was about the only thing precious left that I hadn't sold off in order to compensate for the high charges of my mother's medical fees. There was no way I could part with the loyal old man there. It used to belong to my old man before he passed away after all.

The gentleman held out a gloved hand to rub Chestnut under his chin. Chestnut let him do it. "But my son... at such a ripe age... and still not broken yet..."

Wait... Is he comparing his son to a horse? He wants me to tame him? I contemplated on whether to laugh or not. Good manners took over and I kept a solemn look on my face.

"Young man..." He continued, this time looking at me. "You seem to have a way with horses, have you not?"

I nodded hesitantly. He smiled at me.

"And are you of a noble house?"

I saw my chance there and shook my head as sadly as I could.

"I'm afraid to disappoint you sire, but I am not." Inside, I was triumphant. Surely, he will now leave me alone, and walk away in disgust, like all nobles do.

Instead, he smiled even more broadly. I felt my heart sinking.

"Very good, lad. Then why don't I offer you a compensation for helping me with this? I assure you, the amount will be fair. You are a kind man, I can see that, and you seem to have a way around wild... animals."

"Good sire, but I'm a man." And a criminal, not that he knows.

The older gentleman's smile wavered a little.

"I'm afraid no woman can break him."

Have you even tried? I wanted to argue. But then I met his eyes and understood. He had tried. And failed.

Oh dear god. How else do I reject him? Get a grip, Sakurai Sho. This is a big matter. It's not the time to be nice. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to reject him, but the old man got to me first.

"Perhaps, you'd like to meet him first?"

- - -

And now here I am, sitting inside a lush room for guests, inside a large, expensively-decorated mansion, for the first time in my life. The room I was in had dark, vivid purple, floral wallpaper covering the walls from ceiling to floor, with wooden panels running through the center. Potted plants sat on the corners and intimidating antique furnitures covered most of the ground here, from the coffee table to the armchairs and the sofa.

He'd invited me to sit on the sofa while I waited, and I did just that, not daring to move to take a look out of the long white windows. He'd gone to get the servants to find his son. I wonder why I was even going through with this.
Oh yes. That's right. At first, I'd only gone along to see whether the man had anything worthy I could 'bring' back with me, while politely refusing his offer after that.

But then he started talking about the reward. And when he told me the amount he intended to give, supposing I succeeded, I just simply couldn't refuse. Not yet. At least let me see the son of this whacked up job first before I decide. The man must be insane, offering so high an amount.

The money would help pay for a lot of things. At the moment, the most important thing would be to pay the hospital for my mother's treatment. For a few months past, she'd been going through a grave illness which the doctors said can be cured, but needed a lot of money.

They said she might not live through it otherwise. I bit my tongue and turned away from those thoughts.

And then, there was my younger brother's education. Normally, we would be able to scrape through to afford such a thing, but now... well, this was no excuse to commit crimes, but still, this was the truth that I must face.

Endless possibilities now ran through my mind as I began to calculate the uses of the money which I had not even attained.

"Your tea, sir." A stiff voice interrupted. I jumped, and then relaxed. It was just a bored-looking maid, laying out a teapot and two china teacups on the table before me. As she proceeded to pour the hot, delicious-smelling tea, I decided to ask her a few questions.

"S-so..."

The maid didn't even look up. I cleared my throat.

"Excuse me..."

The maid finished pouring the tea and now looked back at me, still looking bored.

"Yes?"

"W-what kind of person is your young master like?"

She frowned at me as if I asked a foolish question.

"What kind?"

I gulped.

"You know... character-wise? Behaviour?"

"...Oh. That." She rolled her eyes. Clearly, she did not think much of him. Or maybe me.

"That?"

"Well..." She picked up her tray. "You're what the Master brought in as his plaything right?" She smirked. "Good luck." And she left the room, leaving me still pondering over the mysteries about this man I was supposed to court.

What have I gotten myself into?

Moments later, I heard footsteps approaching the room as I sipped my tea. Quickly I placed my cup down and stood up, my heartbeat suddenly beating faster.

The gentleman I met before, Lord Matsumoto, entered, but he was alone. The old man looked at me and sighed.

"I regret to inform you that my son is out at the moment." He muttered impatiently under his breath, but I caught it, "-bastard's gonna get it from me."

I felt half-relieved, and half-disappointed. Even though I wasn't eager to do this, I was certainly curious how a wild, unbroken stallion would be in the shape of a man. I didn't like men much, but I did like horses.

He explained to me how his son was always skipping formal occasions and social events, shaming his family that way. There had been talk, rumours that his son was, to be blunt, a whore monger. And that was why his son was always missing, was what the rumours said.

He wanted to dispel those rumours, and therefore, something must be done.

Somehow, Lord Matsumoto managed to make me promise to come on another day in which he would make sure his son would be in, and like a fool, I agreed.

After all, there's the money.

- - -

The second time I visited the mansion, which was a week later, the guards stared at me doubtfully as they let me walk pass through the giant gates. For a moment, I hesitated.

I didn't really notice them before, but I noticed them now. I wager their instincts are kicking up at the very moment. Something's not right with this man, that sort of thing. Guards were really not my thing.

But they had their orders, so they had to let me pass. Feeling a little smug, I walked past them, wearing an air that did not match my old clothes.

The Master had had to go out; a friend was sick. But the bored maid had let me in and brought me into the same room as before. I wondered whether I was supposed to wait until the Master came back. How long would it take?

This time, feeling a little braver, I walked to one of the windows. It was open, the cream white curtain dancing gracefully in the breeze. Before I could properly look out however, something large and heavy ran smack in my face.

And down I fell, with something heavy together on top of me.

"Oof!" Well damn, that really hurts. A lot. A freaking lot. I wondered whether something in my back broke. I tried to move and winced. I heard someone else groaning.

"Who the hell are you?" A voice demanded, a little rudely in my opinion, considering he was the one who barged in through the window, and into me. I opened my eyes to see deep, dark ones staring back into mine. Long eyelashes were set around them, as if they came as a set.

I felt my heart skip a beat. What am I thinking? Of course eyes and eyelashes come as a set. How foolish.

"C-can you get off me first?" I struggled to say through the pain and the lack of air in my lungs. I also became painfully aware of the hands pressed against my chest. The other person blinked at me and then rolled off, before standing up, dusting his pants.

I stood up too, and took a good look at him.

Well, this is quite a fine specimen. His face was well-defined, his hair was a mess, but it seemed to suit him well enough, almost as if it had been set on purpose, and his chin was set stubbornly as he glared fiercely at me with those... deep eyes of his. I shook my head. I shouldn't let this courting thing get into my head.

"You must be the young Master?" It was obvious. He was dressed in a simple white blouse and plain brown breeches, but it was clear the material was costly. He didn't answer me, instead he said in a most imperious manner,

"I demand to know who you are." He continued glaring at me.

Hmmm. He seemed to be only a little younger than me, but his manners needed a fine polishing. He should be in his early twenties like me, but of a better family, but I'm certain I am more refined that he is.

I walked around him, ignoring the fact that his face got stormier by the second. Slim body, fair skin, seems to be of a healthy state. I wondered if he'd bite at strangers, or kicked them. He smelled like the trees, the grass, and animals.

I'm guessing he likes to run off on his own a lot. Most probably ignoring whatever social events his grandfather had set up for him, just to be more connected with...nature?

He turned around and grabbed me from the collar as I continued walking around him without answering.

"Answer me!" He shook me, but I stood as firm as I could. His anger seemed to grow, and it felt as if he was this close to really kicking me like a real horse would. A lot of pent-in frustration perhaps, and too much restraints controlling him.

I grinned at him. Wild and untamed indeed. I'm not interested in courting him, but breaking him would be a challenge.

I love challenges. And horses. Definitely a wild stallion, this one.

"Me? I'm your new marriage candidate. Selected first-handedly by Lord Matsumoto."

He turned a little pale, and instantly let go of me. He blinked, took a step back, as he looked at me from top to toe.

"Marriage...? But, you're a... man... Right?"

"Most certainly. Would you like to confirm it?" I couldn't resist saying wickedly, taking a step forward. He took another step back.

"You're lying. My father, no matter how crazy he is, he wouldn't-"

"Would you care to ask him yourself," I gave him a swift bow as I added, "Young Master?"

"That damn bastard! THAT OLD PERVERTED BASTARD!" He ran out of the room, probably to give the old man a piece of his mind. Well, he'll have to wait, considering the old man was out after all.

I didn't give chase. We have plenty of time. Meanwhile, I made a mental note to tell the old man that I will accept his offer. And maybe lay down on the robbing for a while.

- - -

Like the servants said, I found him napping in a clearing in the family's private woods. His black hair was spread around his face, and his eyes were shut. His face was peaceful, quite unlike the wild man who had hit me after dashing through the window that last time.

I didn't disturb him. Instead, I chose to sit beside him, my legs stretched out. I pluck a blade of grass and twirled it between my forefinger and my thumb as I watched him.

Like all wild horses, peaceful only when they're asleep. He isn't even aware of the stranger who is right now sitting beside him.

I pursed my lips. His face was really quite a pleasure to look at. His sharp nose, his long eyelashes, his pale skin, and his startling red lips. Unthinkingly, I reached out and brushed his lips with the grass I held in my hand.

He stirred, and opened his eyes to look at me directly.

I didn't know if it was instinct, or just luck, but I barely managed to dodge as he swung a menacing fist at me.

"Whoa there!" I exclaimed. He swore at me with words I didn't think a person from a well-bred family should know.

"You." He spat. "How did you find this place?"

"Uh..." I didn't want to get his servants in trouble. I shrugged instead. "I sensed your presence." Cheesy, cliche, whatever. He looked as if he'd rather puke. I'd be put out too, but I made sure I didn't show it.

"It was Kazunari, wasn't it?" He accused. I was sure he was referring to the maid who seemed forever bored. He got it right. I shook my head.

"Nope, its fate."

"Stop it, that's disgusting." Such a blunt person. He sat back down on the grass, seemingly to have calmed down. I took a chance and sat opposite him.

"So, you're Sakurai Sho." It wasn't a question.

"You asked your father after all eh?"

"And told him exactly what I thought of him."

I chuckled. Just as I thought he would.

"-The hell are you laughing at?"

"No... nothing."

"So..." He began asking, but stopped. I looked at him. He had turned his face to the side, eyebrows creased to a frown.

"What is it, young Master?" I prompted at him to continue.

"Jun. Just call me Jun. It irks me to be called Master by non-servants."

"Very well," I agreed. "...Jun."

"You are my..." I noticed his ears turned a little red. "Fiancé?"

Interesting. Is he really a whore monger as they say? Feels more like a queer. I don't really have anything against queers, after all, at least one of my acquaintances is a queer. Maybe that's why women don't work against him. And maybe that's why his old man chose me.

"Possibly yes." His father didn't really say anything about getting us engaged, he only told me to court his son(or rather, tame him). Still, it'll be an advantage if young Master Jun believes this is the case. I think his father is going along with the flow too.

"Don't you find it odd?" He asked me, eyes inquisitively searching my face, as if waiting to detect a lie.

I shrugged. I certainly wasn't about to give away my thoughts. And the reward money.

"I've seen odder things. It's a wide world out there after all."

"The world out there?" The young lord frowned at me. "You mean there are things weirder than... Well, you know."

Alright, maybe he's not a queer after all. That, or he doesn't realise it.

"And here I thought you're supposed to be..." I searched for a term carefully,"adventurous. Surely you must have seen many things during your little trips outside."

"Oh, that? You've listened to Father too much." He turned his eyes away from me. "Well...I've told Father before, but even he didn't believe me." He scowled. "Just because I like to disappear does not mean I went whoring... Looking at greenery and dumb beasts is better. I'd be foolish going around places where anyone can spot me."

"Why?" I admit, he's a curious person. Surely he had many chances to do so? It's not as if he was under lock and key, was he?

His frown grew even deeper.

"It's dangerous, isn't it? There's people out there who'd kill or kidnap me for money. And I have money."

I took a deep breath to stop myself from laughing, but I couldn't quite stop myself from shaking.

When I finally had my shakes under control, and as his eyebrows almost connected while glaring at me disapprovingly, his cheeks tinted slightly red, I managed to say,

"S-Sounds like something your mother told you, say maybe ten years ago?"

There was an awkward silence.

"She died ten years ago. Father hasn't been quite the same ever since," he said briefly.

"...Oh, okay. Sorry." That certainly explains the old man's eccentric ideas. I couldn't help but to think that.

"You do not look apologetic." He told me. He didn't seem to mind though, instead seemingly to be distracted looking up at the clouds in the sky.

"Well..." I coughed. "Well, anyway. Outside isn't so bad as it seems, you know? Just don't wear flashy stuff and you'll be fine. It's truly interesting."

He turned to look at me with a disbelieving expression on his face.

"Hmm," I shrugged, "If you don't believe it, I suppose there's nothing I can do about it." I stood up to walk away. "Pity. I bet you've never even seen a fair before."

Something tugged me hard on the back of my shirt before I could fully walk away. I didn't turn around.

"What?"

"A fair-" He caught himself and stopped. I turned around. For a split second, I saw a look of inquisitive longing on his face. And then he pulled his face into a long sullen look.

Quick transformation. How impressive.

"I mean..." He didn't meet my eyes. "I've been to one or two."

I shifted and positioned myself directly in front of his face. He looked unnerved by it.

"Uh huh...?"

"B-but," he stammered, "But, pray tell me, what was yours like? I-I haven't had time to go to one recently."

I grinned at him.

- - -

He actually came to meet me in the room for guests. That maid, Kazunari, had told me in her usual, emotionless voice, to wait quietly there, so wait I did.

After what seemed to be around a quarter of an hour, the young Master appeared, this time walking through a door with a quick, confident stride. He beamed at me, Dear God, I felt shivers down my spine for some reason, and automatically sat across me. He held out a hand with that superior air of his.

"What is it?" I asked him as I kept my face straight. His smile lessened a little.

"That, you promised last time."

"Promised what?"

"That peasant trinket you bought. From the last fair you attended."

"Oh... that. My apologies, I didn't-" His face fell before I finished the sentence. I felt a twinge of guilt pulling at my heartstrings.

Too easy.

The young man stood up abruptly, appearing to have lost interest in me.

"Well, that's all then. If you have nothing..." He turned towards the open door.

Oh damn it.

"Oh fine." I said, stopping him in his tracks. My hand entered my well-worn coat's pocket and pulled out a small item from inside it.

The young Master Jun turned around and spotted it. He grinned as if he hadn't just been upset a little moment ago.

Or perhaps he really hadn't been upset.

Damned rascal.

He strode quickly towards me to take a closer look. I placed it on the table. It wasn't much of an item really. A small wooden horse; aspen carved roughly by some unknown carver. It was one of the few things I ever bought with honest money, some time ago. It didn't really matter to me now.

I wondered if he'd be disappointed with it, but the beam on his face seemed to be genuine as he held it and looked it over.

"Indeed. This seems to be the real thing."

"The real thing?" I inquired.

"A poorly-made, cheap, hideous peasant item."

I had half a mind to stick my tongue out at him, but decided it would be foolish and immature, so I did the more mature thing to do. I huffed.

"Well, if you think that way..." I snatched the horse away from his hands.

"No!" He attempted to grab it off my hand, but I stretched my arm out as far back as I could. "I didn't say I didn't want it."

"But you called it ugly."

"But I like it." He replied quickly. What a shameless lad. Saying whatever just to get what he wants.

I only hesitated a little, and he pounced on the chance to snatch it back as I held onto it, causing me to hit my head on the wooden frame of the sofa as I reeled backwards at the impact, and knocking the air out of me at the same time as he landed on my stomach.

"Ouch! Damn it, Jun." I choked out.

"Sorry." He didn't look sorry as he triumphantly held the horse high up with his left hand.

"Are you seriously the heir?" I asked him, rubbing the back of my head, trying to sit up and failing. He was still sitting on me. "And can you get off me? Do you enjoy sitting on people that much?"

He looked down at me from above, his black locks hanging down, framing his face, which turned a little red as I stared back at him. I became suddenly aware of the warmth of the body that was pressed on top of me.

For a moment, neither of us moved.

For a moment, I thought he seemed a little bit attractive. And then I shook myself to senses. I cleared my throat and watched the other man shake himself back to his senses too. He almost jumped off me as if I was made of hot, boiling coals.

Well, ouch.

There was really no need for him to over-react. But I wondered why my heart had begun beating faster?

- - -

We'd met each other for a few more talks. I would not admit it to him, but I look forward to seeing him each time.

He still wouldn't attend his father's social events, and his father was getting even more impatient with him. They yell at each other pretty often, as I've discovered involuntarily.

"Nasty bastard!" and "Dumb fool!" were somewhere at the top of the list of their vocabulary with each other. Pity to hear such words from people of old noble blood. Then again, it was pretty interesting.

Unfortunately though, my pocket was getting thinner too. If he didn't buck up soon, I'm going to have to find my next prey. So, after a few months had passed of us knowing each other, I decided that it was time to go on  to the next step and bring him out to the outside world.

No, I wanted to bring him out, even if there was no money involved.

The town was holding a festival for the whole week. There would be competitions and and a huge fair, most certainly. I thought to bring the young Master Jun out for a day to visit it. His father didn't mind when I told him of my intention. He had only nodded his head as if he expected it.

"I did tell you to court him," was all he said. He did offer a buggy though, but I refused.

"No thank you, Sir. We will walk. The place is not that far, and it is held throughout Jarashi after all."

"Really now? Is it not dangerous?" Sounds like something a mother might say. For all their yelling, and for all his eccentricity, I was certain the old man really cared about his only son. His daughter had been married off a while back, leaving only Jun to, I guess, liven up their huge home.

"No sir. Do not worry. Everyone is out there to enjoy the fair, not to find victims to kill. You can't experience a fair properly and fully if you are always on a buggy." I explained to him.

"I see... Very well, lad. Do as what you see must be done."

"Thank you."

- - -

He didn't really like the walking much. I could tell he's been spoiled a lot by his father. However, once we reached the fair, he seemed to have forgotten the tired feel in his legs that he had been complaining so much a lot.

Instead, he dashed about like a child, looking through the booths, admiring the 'crude peasant' paintings and craftworks, trying the peasant food(which he actually seemed to like despite calling it 'cheap'), laughing at the clowns by the street side who were continuously bashing at each other comically, and exclaiming at the other entertainers.

He watched the lively sword-fights, and almost took part in it himself. I had to drag him back. I certainly did not want to answer to Lord Matsumoto if his son got injured.

And then there was the music and the dancing. He had run into the crowd of people dancing and almost as if he had done it all his life, danced together with them, naturally blending it.

He was extraordinary.

And then he appeared again in front me, his face glistening with sweat that glimmered in the light of the setting sun. He grabbed at my hand, but I pulled back. Frowning at me, he pulled again, even more insistently.

I gave in and let him pull me into the euphoria of beautiful rhythm, sound and movements. The band were playing a fast number at the moment, a number in which anybody and everybody can dance together. There were no fixed dance steps for this song, so even the children could dance as they pleased.

I matched my steps with everyone around me, having done this a few times a long time ago, and he did the same beside me, frequently exchanging wide smiles with anyone who happened to look at him.

The way his body moves and flexes, it was beautiful.

Perhaps the adrenaline rush was affecting him, causing him to be friendlier to strangers. After all, when he first met me, he wasn't like this. I tried to ignore the bothered feeling that was tugging at me as I continued dancing alongside him.

The rhythm hummed through my body, leaving an imprint of the wild movements and music even after the song ended.

We talked and laugh as we breezed past more booths, filled our bellies with some food and a fair amount of ale.

And then-

- - -

Oh shit.

I didn't just do it, did I?

He was staring back at me with a blank look on his face.

I didn't really know what was going through my head when I did what I did. I knew we had some ale, walked some more and somehow, we ended up in a thicket at the edge of town, both still feeling a little high.

I'd tripped and fell down, and he had come crashing down behind me.

"You really like crushing people with your weight don't you?" I had remarked. He'd laughed.

And perhaps it was the alcohol working, but I'd found his eyes were unusually attractive and found it hard to pull myself away from as I sank deeper into them. And when I did tear my eyes away from them, instead my sight landed on his lips. Tempting curves and lines...

Of course I kissed him.

What a bloody fool I am.

Now he brought his fingers up to his lips, as if unsure of what had occurred. I shrank back a little as he removed his fingers away from them and stared at them.

"I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- It's just the alcohol-" I stammered lamely. He looked back at me. Damn, I still want to kiss him more. Taste a bit more-

He pressed his lips against mine. His lips were soft and warm, and a little dry; I didn't really notice that the first time. He began to pull away, but I caught him and pulled him into a deeper kiss. I could feel the heat from his body wrapping around me as I wrapped my arms around him.

I couldn't resist tracing my hands down his slender body, down his hips. And he, in return, grabbed me by the back, his arm curled around my body, kissing back with hot, untamed passion.

And then we made love.

- - -

He agreed to attend his father's friend's party if I went with him. Lord Ohno's son had just gotten engaged recently and he was throwing a celebration for it. Lord Matsumoto was ecstatic about his son's acceptance to the invitation and didn't really give me a chance to reject.

"It's fine right? We are engaged after all." He told me as we prepared to go. He'd had a suit tailor-made for me since I didn't have a suitable one of my own.

"But..." But its not real. Didn't his father ever tell him that? I realised his father didn't really care about such details.

But I was afraid. I wondered how long this charade would last. I watched the heir of the Matsumoto family track back and forth, putting on a tie, pulling on socks, setting his hair, almost as if it was natural. As I looked at him, and everything around him; expensive bed, the mirror imported from God-knows-where, everything, I was reminded of how I'm just a petty, miserable robber.

I was doing this for money, I reminded myself. And since when did he look like... like such a noble?

He did look almost as if he was a well-bred horse all his life.

I slept with him... with this person. It was kind of hard to believe.

"-which reminds me." He was saying.

"Huh?"

"Our own engagement party. Shouldn't we have one?"

Oh. He wants to make it official.

I couldn't take the guilty feelings that was beginning to mess up my inner thoughts.

"Well-!" I stood up. "We... we can think about that later, right?" It's absurd, I know. Jun isn't even thinking properly. What would society think if the son of the noble Matsumoto household got engaged to another man?

They'll be ruined for sure. Despised by other nobles. It was an utterly ridiculous idea.

But what he said made me slightly happy. That he thought that much of me that he was willing to have us officially bonded. Still, I couldn't accept it.

What should I do?

- - -

The Ohnos' mansion was grand. Not as grand as the Matsumotos' but their interior was incredibly influenced by the riches of India, or so they say. It was a unique difference. It was my first time being in such an event. At one glance, I could tell that it was an expensive project, from the food to the decorations.

It made me feel small. Why was I even here?

I stayed back at the edge of the ballroom as I watched the Master introduce his son proudly to the other nobles. To my slight amusement, they seemed awed at this rare presence. Jun was brilliant out there. I watched as people went over to flock around him, as if attracted without reason. Young men stammered and chuckled together with him. Young ladies blushed under his intense gaze. People naturally rolled on the palm of his hand.

This is where he belongs. With the wealthy. With the pretty young women who'd want him. With the older folks who are wary about him, yet respected his status.

Not with me.

They announced the arrival of the groom-to-be and his bride-to-be. A waiter passed by with glasses of strong wine on a silver tray. I took one and finished it all in one gulp as I watched the new arrivals. The young lord Ohno seemed like a gentle, kind man of few words, while his partner was tall, possibly taller than him and elegant in most ways. They were too different from each other, yet people accepted them as a couple.

Because they are both rich, a pesky voice inside me whispered harshly. They are both nobles...How about you?

Shut up. The waiter with the tray passed by again. I took two glasses and finished them off all too soon.

"Did you hear that thing about the robber a few months back?" I heard a female voice nearby say.

"Oh, the one down at the Mountain Wind route?" Another lady asked in return. "Yes, the robber seems to have vanished, right?"

"Yes, yes, that handsome highwayman, so they say. Did you know that he robbed the carriage belonging to young Lord Masaki?"

"Oh my. Our Satoshi's friend?" Ohno Satoshi, the groom-to-be. This voice appeared to belong to his mother. "But they've never caught him right?"

I nearly dropped the glasses in my hands. There are people who knows about me here. My vision blurred slightly. I have to get out from this place. Why did I even come?

"Sho?" Jun's familiar voice whispered near my ear. "Are you alright?" His face came into vision.

And away from him. Definitely away from him.

"It's... fine. Jun. I think I have to go."

"Are you feeling unwell? I'll tell Father and then we-''

"No!"

Jun's blurred face seemed to be taken aback, maybe even a little hurt. It doesn't matter, I told myself. It doesn't matter if I hurt him now.

"I'll... go home by myself."

"Sho, please... tell me where you live... I'll send you home."

I've never told him about my family, about my home, or much about myself. Yet he trusted me so much.

He must never know. He should never know who I really am. Just a poor, down-on-luck man who steals from other people to live. I couldn't ever change the fact that I'd commit crimes. It's not only that I am a man. Just by being an acquaintance to me is already bad enough.

What am I doing? Why am I here? I asked myself again and again. Fool. I considered breaking all ties with him then and there, but I couldn't. Especially not when his father also depended so much on him being at this social event.

So I forced a smile at him and said,

"Jun, you can't leave. Think for your father's sake. You'd let him down, and you'd offend the Ohnos if you left like this. I'll be fine alone, alright?"

His face darkened, as if he didn't like what I said. But then he seemed to calm himself down.

"Very well. Go then."

He'd changed a little. I'm sure there was a time before where he would not give a damn to whether he offended people or not.

It's a good change. I hope he can keep it up.

I made my excuses to the hosts before leaving, not giving Jun a second glance. And then I left to return home, my mind made up on one thing.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will tell Lord Matsumoto that I'm quitting. That I'll no longer appear in front of his son.

- - -

"Truly, Sakurai Sho? Is that what you really want?"

"Yes." I said firmly. I will not waver; this is for the best. For everyone's sake.

The old man was looking at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

"I didn't expect this..." he said.

"Sire, my apologies, but I think this is for the best, do you not think so? Would you really want your heir to the family get involved with a man? A poor, non-noble."

The old man didn't say anything as I stood nervously before him. His eyes held mine in a strong hold, so I couldn't really look away.

Eyes like his son's.

"Then...," he began, "Are you going to continue being a criminal?"

I think my heart stopped beating for a moment. Was that a cheap guess? Or did he...?

His face was stern, a look that said he wasn't fooling around or joking. A face that was certain of what he was saying.

"I... How...?"

His face cracked into a wary smile.

"It's not hard to guess, young lad. A stranger jumping in to help your horse troubles in the darkest hour of the night? Not a likely coincidence. I'd heard the rumors of a highwayman along that route too, but I'd decided to forego my guards."

"...Why?"

"Because I can take care of myself of course." His face was smiling. "You can't be a head of the family and not know a thing or two about self-defence."

My knees felt weak.

"Besides the rumors stated only one man, so I figured it wouldn't be too hard to handle."

"You... you let a criminal... be around with your son?"

He shrugged.

"You felt right. And my son did need some taming."

He's crazier than he makes out to be, I thought, awed. But... what needs to be done, must be done.

"I'm sorry, I really do not intend to go any further than this, Sir. I... cannot."

He sagged a little in his seat, and then sighed.

"You've made up your mind then?"

"Yes sir."

"Well... what about the reward money? It's important isn't it?" He asked.

I hesitated.

"The money I promised in return for helping tame my son." He prompted.

I gulped and shook my head. How could I...? I don't deserve such a thing. I don't want money for getting to know his son. I can't take that money.

"Don't you nee-"

Thud!

I swerved around as the old man looked behind me at the same time. Jun stood there at the doorway, his face pale and shaken. The wooden figure I had given him before lay at his feet.

And when his eyes met mine, I felt my heart twist. The pain, the anger, the betrayed feelings in them...

"For... money...? You... did all this for money?" His voice barely came out in a whisper.

He turned and disappeared before either of us could say anything at all.

I felt the urge to chase after him, to deny everything. But my common sense stopped me.

It's better this way. It's better to stop it now than later on.

"You aren't going to chase after him?"

"...No."

- - -

It's been months since I last saw him. I heard that he still attended certain occasions once in a while. Good for him. He should move ahead in life, meet some nice young lady, settle down...

"Sho! What are you dreaming about? Honestly! Go bring back some firewood. It's going to be cold soon." I couldn't help but smile at my mother, before letting her chase me out of the house.

She was back home again, fully recovered, all vibrant and filled with energy after being stuck so long in the hospital. Almost as if she was never in danger of dying. An anonymous had paid for the expenses needed in full amount. The doctor refused to tell me who it was, but I was sure I knew.

I'd gone to work a honest living at the stables now. It doesn't pay a lot, but its enough for the moment. I'd put a full stop to my other life as a highwayman, although I'd never surrender myself to the authorities. It'd be too foolish to do such a thing, really. I did not regret ever stealing from them, and will never ever.

The only thing I regretted was... well, never mind. In the end, it came out good didn't it? My mother is back, my brother is happy, and I'm happy too.  I could never thank Lord Matsumoto enough, but I didn't dare to meet him in case that person happened to be there... No.. everything is fine the way it is now.

I guess.

But sometimes, flashes of his face, his smiles, his warmth, came to me without warning. And I'd most certainly never forget him, all our times together, or that one particular moment we had together. The touch of his body under my skin, and the touch of mine under his skin....

Everything about him.

I sighed as I trudged down the path towards the woods nearby, an axe in my hand.

"You idiot." A familiar voice called out from behind. I froze. It couldn't be...

Footsteps walked lightly towards me from behind. I found myself rooted to the spot, not daring to turn.

"Cat got your tongue?" The voice said, rather tauntingly. Instinctively, I shut my eyes as I felt the owner of the voice walk around to face me in front.

Lips pressed lightly against mine.

Oh God. I know this feeling. I stopped myself from responding, as the lips drew away. Slowly, I opened my eyes, unsure if I was just hallucinating.

But he was there, standing in front of me, grinning broadly, still looking as untamed as he had been since I first met him.

Jun.

"Idiot. My father told me. What foolish filial piety you have."

"I'm..." I began, "I'm sorry-"

"Forgiven," he cut me off abruptly. "Since months ago."

Eh?

"...Then, why do you come now?"

"Clearly, because my father refused to spill where I may find you. We had a few nice 'pleasant' rounds there," he told me. "So I did my own researching."

People with money.

"Then... but... did your father not tell you about me being a.. a.." It was hard to say the words out.

"Robber? Criminal?" I winced at his words. "Yes, yes he did."

"Then-?"

"My father never cared, what makes you think I do? I don't give a damn that you robbed the shit out of my father's friend's son's friend, or whoever else. I don't give a damn that you're a man either."

"I see..."

Was this relief flooding back into my heart? As if a dam that was once there blocking the path had been destroyed, and all the possibly wrong emotions came gushing back into me at one go.

Is it alright to accept what I was feeling at the moment?

"I just...," he began, now murmuring in a quiet voice. His ears had turned red, and his eyelids lowered down. How rare.

"Yes?" I couldn't help it, my heart had begun to beat faster. Why? Why must he come to me, even after all this time? Even after knowing that I did it for money?

"I just wanted to know whether- well, what you feel for me... if any. In all honesty." He mumbled very quickly, biting his lower lip, as if awaiting a form of rejection.

Ah yes. I see. This man before me, he accepts me unconditionally, doesn't he? For some reason, it doesn't matter to him who I was or what I did. Who's the idiot here?

I smiled at him. He looked back up slowly.

It's alright to feel like this though, isn't it?

"What about you?"

His expression quickly changed into a scowl.

"Damn you, I asked you first!" He growled. I laughed at him. Still that same wild stallion I met.

"Ah... Fine, fine. The firewood can wait."

"What?"

Chuckling, with my free hand, I grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him towards my house.

"Wait, where are we going?" He protested, but not really fighting it.

"Don't you want to find out how I feel? Well, you'll see soon enough." I told him, grinning.

My mother and brother might be shocked, or they might be surprised when I introduced Jun to them... as the person that I love. They might accept the idea, or they might reject it...

But it doesn't matter. I will accept him as he accepts me. We will live our lives facing things as they are. No longer shall I run away.

I stopped for a while, a thought having struck me.

"But... no engagement party, alright?"

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