Different
Title: Different
Author: sakulette
Pairing: JunSeung
Rating: NC-17
Summary: And maybe it truly was his fault that things had ended up this way..
Author's Note ~ I think I'm just distracting myself with writing oneshots so I don't have to work on my chaptered fic.. Sorry guys. D: I'm working on it now, I promise!
~
Their relationship had not been what he had been expecting at all. Sure, he knew things would never be grand - their relationship would never be accepted by society, and their close friends were against it too. But when he thought of what exactly their relationship would become, he had always pictured it… differently.
“Junnie ~ ~ Are you home?”
Junhyung hated how sweet the voice that had captured his heart was.
“I was thinking about those plans you made for tonight - the ones with Kiki and everyone else.” There was a bitter taste to the sweet melodic voice. Junhyung cringed from his spot, but neither moved nor responded.
“Well I think we should just not go see them tonight.” The shuffling of footsteps could be heard from outside the door to the room Junhyung was in. They stopped. “We can have our own fun tonight ~”
And Junhyung closed his eyes.
How had his sweet songbird become this way? He never would have dreamed that things would be like how they were now. Their lives had been normal - they had just been two people in love. But his other half… changed. And he didn’t know why. The change had been like a sudden blow to the head - it hit him so hard he didn’t know what to do.
“Jun.. You know I HATE when you don’t reply to me..”
But now that Junhyung looked back at it, maybe the change had been a gradual thing. Maybe he should have noticed the other changing early on - did he just not pay attention to the scratches and bruises? Or had he just pushed the thoughts out of his mind?
Maybe Junhyung knew the entire time that something had become broken inside the other. Maybe he had noticed, but hadn’t done anything to stop it. Maybe, just maybe, he was afraid - afraid that he’d destroy the one thing that mattered in his life. Junhyung would give anything to make sure what they had was never destroyed. He was giving all that he had now; he was paying with blood, sweat, tears, broken cries - everything he had. And it was all so that he wouldn’t be alone.
“Junhyung.”
He slowly opened his eyes. The tone in the other’s voice was ugly enough - he didn’t want it to be any more tainted than it already was. So he gave in.
“I’m here..”
His voice came out dry, raspy.
The shuffling of footsteps began once again and also approached the door again. Junhyung took one last inhale of breath as the door slammed open. The boy practically threw himself past the threshold and in Junhyung’s direction, his arms outstretched, a big smile on his beautiful face. But Junhyung knew better. He knew that by looking into the other’s eyes, you could see how dead he was inside.
“Hehe, you’re exactly how I left you.” The playful tone in his voice was oh so very misleading. Junhyung knew better than to trust the other based on attitude alone. It was all just a mask, a way he would act around others so they’d never assume something was truly off about him.
Junhyung just grunted as a reply. He tugged slightly at his bindings as the boy came closer to him, but he quickly halted as a hand swatted at his own.
“No no no Junnie ~ This is for the fun we shall have tonight.” He slid a hand through Junhyung’s hair, then down his left cheek, to his neck, down his bare chest, and further. Junhyung closed his eyes and mentally cursed himself over and over, trying not to give in, but the small, delicate hand sliding over his bare skin was so damn irresistible.
“Come on Junnie.. It’s ok to let loose every now and then.”
It wasn’t every now and then though. It was every damn day, every damn hour, practically every damn minute of his life that he had to fight this urge to just give in. And most of the time he was able to stay strong, most of the time. Those times that he let loose, those were the only times where he would have control over everything. Those were the only times when Junhyung ever felt that their relationship was right. But he knew it was wrong to let that happen. There couldn’t be any times that were right. Because what they had was not right, it was broken. They both knew so, and they both refused to do anything to change this fact.
Junhyung shuddered as the other’s hand traveled to areas that had been abused over and over so many times. This wasn’t what he wanted, it really wasn’t… But nevertheless, a gruff moan escaped his lips as the other’s hand stroked him harshly.
He wanted nothing more than to rip away from these restraints and ravish his lover’s body completely, but that just wasn’t what would, or even could, happen. Clothes were slipped off the body looming over him in a rush, and he soon felt cold skin against his own. Another shudder. This is where everything ended.
A choked cry escaped his lips as the binding around his neck was tugged at bitterly. A small giggle passed through his ears, and a frown grew on his face. The other’s giggles were not meant to come out at times like these. They were meant for happy things, cute things, silly things… Not, this.
It happened quicker than it usually did this time. His cock was suddenly pushed into the other’s tight hole. No preparation, no teasing, Junhyung couldn’t help but wonder why the other was so off from his normal routine this time. He cringed when a dry scream filled the room as the body on top of his began to slowly lift itself up and almost completely off his cock, before dropping itself down; earning another scream accompanied by breathy moans.
Their breaths mingled together as the other leaned over, their faces just centimeters away. But there lips didn’t touch. Their lips never touched, not once. Not since everything became wrong. In the beginning Junhyung had tried to get their lips to meet, but the other had avoided it completely. At the time though, he hadn’t thought anything of it.
The movements began to slow as the hole his cock was emerged in clenched - and god he wanted so badly to rip away from the restraints, hold down the other’s hips, and pound up into him as hard as he could. But he couldn’t. Even if each of his limbs weren’t tied down to the four corners of the bed, he still wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t break what was left of what they used to have.
And maybe it was truly Junhyung’s fault that Hyunseung had become this way. Maybe Junhyung had done something wrong. Maybe Hyunseung had begun doing these things in order to get something out of Junhyung - something that never came. Junhyung couldn’t help but believe that truly the fault was entirely his.
A long, drawn-out moan escaped Hyunseung’s lips as he released himself onto Junhyung’s chest, slowly bringing his movements to a halt. Junhyung’s eyes closed, and he let out one last moan before also releasing himself, but into the other. The heat of the room and the other on top of him made his mind feel fuzzy, so he let sleep take him. At least when he was asleep, he could dream on the times when everything between them was perfect - when making love was something sacred and beautiful. His head fell to the side, his body slumped, his mind drifted off as sleep overtook him.
And maybe if he had bothered to try and stay awake after what had just happened, he would have seen the pain and sorrow that filled Hyunseung’s eyes. He wasn’t dead anymore. His masked had crumbled, looking over the aftermath of what he had done. Taking one slow, shaky breath, he untied all of the bindings that were holding Junhyung to the bed and lifted himself to the door. As his hand met with the doorknob, he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t find the strength to really go on anymore. Everything he loved had come crashing down before his eyes, and had been entirely his fault.
Warm tears formed at the edges of his eyes as Hyunseung’s legs gave out from under him and he slumped down to the floor, forehead resting on the door. All he could do was sob to himself silently. No words could ever fix what they had, and that destroyed him.
All Hyunseung really wanted was to fix things. But it just wasn’t that simple. Every time he would catch himself trying to find the right words to patch things up, he couldn’t help but hate himself anymore. He was the one that had destroyed everything in the first place. What right did he have to go and try and fix things?
Hyunseung continued to cry silently, even as two now strong arms wrapped themselves around his small frame. He could only lean into them and let Junhyung turn his body around, so that his face was resting on his lover’s chest. A hand stroked through his hair, the other stroked over his back, and all he could hear was sweet words being cooed into his ear.
This wasn’t how things should be between them.
He shouldn’t let Junhyung continue to stay by him after what he had done.
But Junhyung just wanted to be with Hyunseung, no matter what the consequences.
All they could do was hold each other and live in this moment. Both the stunning days and the painful days of the past were just memories. They could never go back to the way they were, but they could surely try to mend everything, right?
Hyunseung fell asleep in Junhyung’s arms. Tears stained his cheeks, and Junhyung just smiled.
[A/N2] I mainly wrote this because I've always seen it with the abuser and abusee roles the other way around.. I just wondered what this would be like..
Author: sakulette
Pairing: JunSeung
Rating: NC-17
Summary: And maybe it truly was his fault that things had ended up this way..
Author's Note ~ I think I'm just distracting myself with writing oneshots so I don't have to work on my chaptered fic.. Sorry guys. D: I'm working on it now, I promise!
~
Their relationship had not been what he had been expecting at all. Sure, he knew things would never be grand - their relationship would never be accepted by society, and their close friends were against it too. But when he thought of what exactly their relationship would become, he had always pictured it… differently.
“Junnie ~ ~ Are you home?”
Junhyung hated how sweet the voice that had captured his heart was.
“I was thinking about those plans you made for tonight - the ones with Kiki and everyone else.” There was a bitter taste to the sweet melodic voice. Junhyung cringed from his spot, but neither moved nor responded.
“Well I think we should just not go see them tonight.” The shuffling of footsteps could be heard from outside the door to the room Junhyung was in. They stopped. “We can have our own fun tonight ~”
And Junhyung closed his eyes.
How had his sweet songbird become this way? He never would have dreamed that things would be like how they were now. Their lives had been normal - they had just been two people in love. But his other half… changed. And he didn’t know why. The change had been like a sudden blow to the head - it hit him so hard he didn’t know what to do.
“Jun.. You know I HATE when you don’t reply to me..”
But now that Junhyung looked back at it, maybe the change had been a gradual thing. Maybe he should have noticed the other changing early on - did he just not pay attention to the scratches and bruises? Or had he just pushed the thoughts out of his mind?
Maybe Junhyung knew the entire time that something had become broken inside the other. Maybe he had noticed, but hadn’t done anything to stop it. Maybe, just maybe, he was afraid - afraid that he’d destroy the one thing that mattered in his life. Junhyung would give anything to make sure what they had was never destroyed. He was giving all that he had now; he was paying with blood, sweat, tears, broken cries - everything he had. And it was all so that he wouldn’t be alone.
“Junhyung.”
He slowly opened his eyes. The tone in the other’s voice was ugly enough - he didn’t want it to be any more tainted than it already was. So he gave in.
“I’m here..”
His voice came out dry, raspy.
The shuffling of footsteps began once again and also approached the door again. Junhyung took one last inhale of breath as the door slammed open. The boy practically threw himself past the threshold and in Junhyung’s direction, his arms outstretched, a big smile on his beautiful face. But Junhyung knew better. He knew that by looking into the other’s eyes, you could see how dead he was inside.
“Hehe, you’re exactly how I left you.” The playful tone in his voice was oh so very misleading. Junhyung knew better than to trust the other based on attitude alone. It was all just a mask, a way he would act around others so they’d never assume something was truly off about him.
Junhyung just grunted as a reply. He tugged slightly at his bindings as the boy came closer to him, but he quickly halted as a hand swatted at his own.
“No no no Junnie ~ This is for the fun we shall have tonight.” He slid a hand through Junhyung’s hair, then down his left cheek, to his neck, down his bare chest, and further. Junhyung closed his eyes and mentally cursed himself over and over, trying not to give in, but the small, delicate hand sliding over his bare skin was so damn irresistible.
“Come on Junnie.. It’s ok to let loose every now and then.”
It wasn’t every now and then though. It was every damn day, every damn hour, practically every damn minute of his life that he had to fight this urge to just give in. And most of the time he was able to stay strong, most of the time. Those times that he let loose, those were the only times where he would have control over everything. Those were the only times when Junhyung ever felt that their relationship was right. But he knew it was wrong to let that happen. There couldn’t be any times that were right. Because what they had was not right, it was broken. They both knew so, and they both refused to do anything to change this fact.
Junhyung shuddered as the other’s hand traveled to areas that had been abused over and over so many times. This wasn’t what he wanted, it really wasn’t… But nevertheless, a gruff moan escaped his lips as the other’s hand stroked him harshly.
He wanted nothing more than to rip away from these restraints and ravish his lover’s body completely, but that just wasn’t what would, or even could, happen. Clothes were slipped off the body looming over him in a rush, and he soon felt cold skin against his own. Another shudder. This is where everything ended.
A choked cry escaped his lips as the binding around his neck was tugged at bitterly. A small giggle passed through his ears, and a frown grew on his face. The other’s giggles were not meant to come out at times like these. They were meant for happy things, cute things, silly things… Not, this.
It happened quicker than it usually did this time. His cock was suddenly pushed into the other’s tight hole. No preparation, no teasing, Junhyung couldn’t help but wonder why the other was so off from his normal routine this time. He cringed when a dry scream filled the room as the body on top of his began to slowly lift itself up and almost completely off his cock, before dropping itself down; earning another scream accompanied by breathy moans.
Their breaths mingled together as the other leaned over, their faces just centimeters away. But there lips didn’t touch. Their lips never touched, not once. Not since everything became wrong. In the beginning Junhyung had tried to get their lips to meet, but the other had avoided it completely. At the time though, he hadn’t thought anything of it.
The movements began to slow as the hole his cock was emerged in clenched - and god he wanted so badly to rip away from the restraints, hold down the other’s hips, and pound up into him as hard as he could. But he couldn’t. Even if each of his limbs weren’t tied down to the four corners of the bed, he still wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t break what was left of what they used to have.
And maybe it was truly Junhyung’s fault that Hyunseung had become this way. Maybe Junhyung had done something wrong. Maybe Hyunseung had begun doing these things in order to get something out of Junhyung - something that never came. Junhyung couldn’t help but believe that truly the fault was entirely his.
A long, drawn-out moan escaped Hyunseung’s lips as he released himself onto Junhyung’s chest, slowly bringing his movements to a halt. Junhyung’s eyes closed, and he let out one last moan before also releasing himself, but into the other. The heat of the room and the other on top of him made his mind feel fuzzy, so he let sleep take him. At least when he was asleep, he could dream on the times when everything between them was perfect - when making love was something sacred and beautiful. His head fell to the side, his body slumped, his mind drifted off as sleep overtook him.
And maybe if he had bothered to try and stay awake after what had just happened, he would have seen the pain and sorrow that filled Hyunseung’s eyes. He wasn’t dead anymore. His masked had crumbled, looking over the aftermath of what he had done. Taking one slow, shaky breath, he untied all of the bindings that were holding Junhyung to the bed and lifted himself to the door. As his hand met with the doorknob, he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t find the strength to really go on anymore. Everything he loved had come crashing down before his eyes, and had been entirely his fault.
Warm tears formed at the edges of his eyes as Hyunseung’s legs gave out from under him and he slumped down to the floor, forehead resting on the door. All he could do was sob to himself silently. No words could ever fix what they had, and that destroyed him.
All Hyunseung really wanted was to fix things. But it just wasn’t that simple. Every time he would catch himself trying to find the right words to patch things up, he couldn’t help but hate himself anymore. He was the one that had destroyed everything in the first place. What right did he have to go and try and fix things?
Hyunseung continued to cry silently, even as two now strong arms wrapped themselves around his small frame. He could only lean into them and let Junhyung turn his body around, so that his face was resting on his lover’s chest. A hand stroked through his hair, the other stroked over his back, and all he could hear was sweet words being cooed into his ear.
This wasn’t how things should be between them.
He shouldn’t let Junhyung continue to stay by him after what he had done.
But Junhyung just wanted to be with Hyunseung, no matter what the consequences.
All they could do was hold each other and live in this moment. Both the stunning days and the painful days of the past were just memories. They could never go back to the way they were, but they could surely try to mend everything, right?
Hyunseung fell asleep in Junhyung’s arms. Tears stained his cheeks, and Junhyung just smiled.
[A/N2] I mainly wrote this because I've always seen it with the abuser and abusee roles the other way around.. I just wondered what this would be like..