Update
Well I figured out how to pay my rent, I got food on my table, and I am borrowing Saiyuki from someone. So... its alright I suppose. Finally got stuff on track for once and am not being crushed under a nervous wreckage I live with on a constant basis, but never reveal. Anyhoo, not trying to be mean, its just normally I always make myself miserable when I am finally feeling good for others misery and this time I am going to enjoy it instead of... well lets not go into that.