what i want, what i can't have
i hate that my life seems to like to fuck me around, as soon as i figure something out i end up getting kicked in the ass by something else.
i have totaly decided to say fuck it to my love life, becasue everytime i seem to find someone that i like just seems to be just out of my reach, like right now i like my friend Steel, he's so, just he's, well he's him, i don't knnow how to say it, he's nice sweet and just well i feel it, but he's leaving at the end of the school year, and i don't want a half ass we're here but were not, kind of thing, you know when you know your going to break up some, but you just don't want to be alone, and thats what I'm scarded of because if i wanted that i would just ask any one out, but he's my friend and i just can't.
and i don't want it to be one of those long distance relationships where something happens and slowly you just drift apart, then when you meet again you sit with eachother and don't know what you are anymore since you never properly broke up but you didn't stay together.
And if that didn't take the cake i know he likes someone but he won't tell me who, Goddess do you hate me or am i just that pathetic, i hate this i'm being torn in different directions at once, my head and my heart are telling me 2 differrent things and all i want is for sommeone to help me figure this out