A Strange Attraction (Part II)

Aug 29, 2010 21:30

Title: A Strange Attraction (Part II)
Verse: Bayverse, Pre-War
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Skywarp, Wheeljack, Optimus; SkywarpxOptimus
Word Count: 2,801
Warnings: Mech cursing, Mech slash
Summary: One of Skywarp's pranks lands him in a bad position. Now he's got an unhealthy crush of the leader of the Science Division.
Notes: For pellimusprime. This is ( Read more... )

fanfiction, meme

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Comments 7

pellimusprime August 30 2010, 02:07:55 UTC
........ lol heeeeeeeeeee

Okay first of all him ending up there because of Failjack almost killing him was great. xD I lol'd.

>W> AND THEN. that was hot. >w> oh warpy you stalker you.

“What is it about you…?!”

legs.

ewe GNEEEEEEEEE *flaps arms* heeeeeeeeeee

>:C I wanna say more but jay is impatient so I will maul you with love tomorrow HEEEEEE

ewe i lahv it.

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sakimus_prime August 30 2010, 02:11:11 UTC
Wheeljack is useful for commencing sexytimes. Bv

IT'S ALWAYS THE LEGS.

*KICKS JAY*
HEEEE.
Glad ya liked eet~

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tsarist_secret August 30 2010, 02:17:39 UTC
Overall I quite like this, it's well put together, the characterization is nice and tidy, and the grammar/spelling and word usage is very good. There's only one tiny thing that I found, and it would be in here --

Then, much to the other’s displeasure, the finger slid out, scratching along the inner walls as it did.

It's very solid, but I would rephrase the word "scratch" to something else, unless you're going for a super bdsm/masochism type fic because that's quite painful!

But in any case, I really like it and hope to see another update. I love Wheeljack's attitude as well. XD

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sakimus_prime August 30 2010, 02:23:12 UTC
Nah, I was going more for a light scratch, like how you would scratch a mild itch or something. XD

Didn't mean it to come off as horrible. D:

I'm toying with trying another piece of this, but it may be a while in the making... ^^

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tsarist_secret August 30 2010, 02:31:57 UTC
Yes I understand that's what you were trying to come off as, but we silly readers don't have that intuitive knowledge. XD

Hopefully you'll manage to get the next piece out then. :)

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runyasan08 August 30 2010, 03:15:11 UTC
WOW. thanks for REMEMBERING, Skywarp! XD primus, he's so one-track.

even if that was hot. seeeeeriously hot. <3

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sakimus_prime August 30 2010, 10:46:21 UTC
HEY.
Even I forgot about Wheeljack during that little business... 8D

Heeee~ Thank you~

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