Shake it up.
I find it hilarious that at my lowest weight I still have the words 'gross and disgusting' lodged in my head.
I'm not doing this to look good, I don't know why I do it anymore. It's all I have left that's mine, nobody really truly knows about it, it's my secret, it's my comfort blanket, it's always always fucking there, and the loss of control is quite wonderful, bollocks to these things being about control. People who say that clearly have no idea how fucking hard it can be to put milk a cup of coffee, how easy it is to just skip the milk and sugar and sip the coffee with no worries of extra calories or whatever bullshit that stresses me out in the day to day life.
It's so much easier to take a backseat and just let this part of my mind drive.
I'm not doing this to look good, I don't know why I do it anymore. It's all I have left that's mine, nobody really truly knows about it, it's my secret, it's my comfort blanket, it's always always fucking there, and the loss of control is quite wonderful, bollocks to these things being about control. People who say that clearly have no idea how fucking hard it can be to put milk a cup of coffee, how easy it is to just skip the milk and sugar and sip the coffee with no worries of extra calories or whatever bullshit that stresses me out in the day to day life.
It's so much easier to take a backseat and just let this part of my mind drive.