Title: Apparitions
Author: opalmatrix
Warnings: brief mention of child abuse
Pairing(s): n/a
Spoilers: through vol. 3 of Saiyuki: Gojyo's history
Notes: saiyuki_time challenge #7: Ghosts. Time given: 25 minutes. Time taken: just about that. Yay!
Summary: He was only trading one sorrow for another ... but somehow it felt a lot better.
It had been the better part of ten years since Sha Jien had abandoned his baby brother. And yet sometimes it seemed that he had been unable to leave Gojyo behind at all.
It started that first night on the road, when he'd limped wearily into the next village. He'd heard someone's harsh voice cursing, the sound of a slap, and a child's whimper, hastily stilled, and found himself turning toward his brother's voice before he realized that it couldn't be the boy he'd left so many footsore miles behind. A few day's later, the basket of food he'd earned with several hours' labor had included candy, and the moment he'd seen it, he'd mentally divided it to share with Gojyo. And when the days had become weeks, and he woke one chilly morning snuggled into a haystack, the light of the wild red dawn on the fine stems heaped around him was just the shade of his brother's hair.
At Houtou Castle, then, it was no surprise that to him that his new lord's deep crimson hair only echoed his brother's brighter mop, or that Yaone's pert smile when she beat him at chess brought Gojyo's urchin grin to mind. And when Lirin flung her arms around him after he covered for her when she'd run off one day, he wasn't shocked to spend the entire evening feeling maudlin and damp around the eyes, because her sturdy embrace only made him think of his brother's awkward hug.
He was fully expecting to spend the rest of his life being ambushed unexpectedly by such reminders - when Yaone brought back the news that one of the members of the Sanzo ikkou was a half-breed youkai with a scarred face, whose companions had addressed him as Gojyo. And then a couple of weeks later, when they chased down Lirin in that town square, there stood the living, breathing reality of all those haunted years. Nearly as tall now as Jien himself, all wiry muscle and cocky, sure-footed grace, his face marked not only with the scars that Mom had given him on that horrible day but also with the clear beginnings of laugh lines, the abused ragamuffin he'd defended and loved so many years ago now stood confidently with his companions and called the Prince's servant an old man.
"I didn't want to believe it 'til I saw you," Jien said to his brother Gojyo, "But there you are ... ."
Dokugakuji could not have explained it, even to Yaone. Surely facing one's beloved younger brother in battle was a terrible thing. But his heart was warmed and filled and healed the minute he'd seen that rakish grin, and he knew that no matter what happened between them on the battlefield, he'd no longer be haunted by the ghost of the boy he'd let behind.