For challenge #57, "dawn" -- Darkest Before The
Title: Darkest Before The
Author: Claire (rasphigi)
Warnings: Speculative, takes place after the current events settle down. Spoilers for (semi)recent Reload. Only a bit of swearing.
Notes: For challenge 57, "dawn". Time allowed: 40 minutes. Taken: about 30 minutes ... underwent some rather extensive subsequent revision though. Experiment in first-person POV ... ehhh. Also I'm not so used to writing in past tense, so apologies if it sounds awkward.
I feel like I kind of took the obvious route with this. Also I feel like it's sort of wish-fulfillment fic :p but, I don't think it's too gacky in that regard. I dunno. Your opinion is very welcome :) All comments and concrit are loved and appreciated.
It’s weird, y’know, but fighting Ukoku wasn’t the worst part. That came after, when it was just us, with nobody but each other to blame it all on.
I remember it was so quiet.
Gojyo, it seemed like he was hardly around. He never once went into Sanzo’s sickroom, after helping carry him in there. I don’t know where he went to, during the days, but even when he was around, it was so bad. He’d either be just looking at nothing, scowling, like this … or he’d be way, way too loud, laughing and teasing. That was the worst. Like he thought it would fool anybody; like I needed to be protected from what he was really thinking. I knew he was trying, but I still half hated him for it. Stupid Gojyo.
Hakkai too - more and more he was forgetting to smile. It would just slide off his face, and he’d look so … empty. Cold. Then someone would say something to him and it would snap back into place. Ahahaha. Horrible.
And Sanzo.
It was so quiet in there. I couldn’t take it. I’d go and sit with them, when Hakkai was healing him or whatever, but as soon as Hakkai would leave the room - it was like this weight, this silence, like … being buried under a mountain. Like part of that shadow we pulled him out of was still there, hidden around him somewhere, like… It felt like if I stayed around too long in that quiet, the shadow would get me too, and I’d never ever be able to talk again. I didn’t know - I don’t know if that made me a coward, that I couldn’t face that silence, but I couldn’t.
And I felt like absolute shit about it too, cause I knew I was acting just as weird as the others and making them worry like they were making me worry, but I couldn’t see what to do. I didn’t have anyplace to stand on. And even when we did talk, no one was listening to each other. We might as well have been alone.
So finally one day, Sanzo was well enough that he could get out of bed and walk. We were playing cards downstairs, and he walked in. Y’know, grunted, like Sanzo does.
Then before we knew what was happening, Gojyo was on his feet, across the room and punching Sanzo in the face.
Total silence. Like it was in slow motion, Sanzo fell like a tree.
Then everyone was yelling all at the same time.
“Gojyo what the hell’re you doing?!”
“-bastard kappa fucking hit-“
“-know you had it coming, you lousy goddam priest, after what you-“
“Ahahaha. I do wish, Gojyo, that sometimes you might think before you act.” (OK, so, Hakkai wasn’t exactly yelling. He was just using that voice that means someone ought to start paying attention quick, before their innards get … out. But we didn’t notice, on account of we were all too busy yelling.)
The actual words ain’t that much - what I remember most is Gojyo, this hard bright fierce joy. He knew exactly what he was doing, he had Sanzo against a wall, and he just wouldn’t let up, til like sparks from a flint Sanzo caught it too. It took a long time, but by damn he did. And then they were yelling and cursing, shoving each other, and I was like, this is familiar.
And I looked closer til I saw what had happened.
And then I just couldn’t quit grinning, cause the sun was back.
Author: Claire (rasphigi)
Warnings: Speculative, takes place after the current events settle down. Spoilers for (semi)recent Reload. Only a bit of swearing.
Notes: For challenge 57, "dawn". Time allowed: 40 minutes. Taken: about 30 minutes ... underwent some rather extensive subsequent revision though. Experiment in first-person POV ... ehhh. Also I'm not so used to writing in past tense, so apologies if it sounds awkward.
I feel like I kind of took the obvious route with this. Also I feel like it's sort of wish-fulfillment fic :p but, I don't think it's too gacky in that regard. I dunno. Your opinion is very welcome :) All comments and concrit are loved and appreciated.
It’s weird, y’know, but fighting Ukoku wasn’t the worst part. That came after, when it was just us, with nobody but each other to blame it all on.
I remember it was so quiet.
Gojyo, it seemed like he was hardly around. He never once went into Sanzo’s sickroom, after helping carry him in there. I don’t know where he went to, during the days, but even when he was around, it was so bad. He’d either be just looking at nothing, scowling, like this … or he’d be way, way too loud, laughing and teasing. That was the worst. Like he thought it would fool anybody; like I needed to be protected from what he was really thinking. I knew he was trying, but I still half hated him for it. Stupid Gojyo.
Hakkai too - more and more he was forgetting to smile. It would just slide off his face, and he’d look so … empty. Cold. Then someone would say something to him and it would snap back into place. Ahahaha. Horrible.
And Sanzo.
It was so quiet in there. I couldn’t take it. I’d go and sit with them, when Hakkai was healing him or whatever, but as soon as Hakkai would leave the room - it was like this weight, this silence, like … being buried under a mountain. Like part of that shadow we pulled him out of was still there, hidden around him somewhere, like… It felt like if I stayed around too long in that quiet, the shadow would get me too, and I’d never ever be able to talk again. I didn’t know - I don’t know if that made me a coward, that I couldn’t face that silence, but I couldn’t.
And I felt like absolute shit about it too, cause I knew I was acting just as weird as the others and making them worry like they were making me worry, but I couldn’t see what to do. I didn’t have anyplace to stand on. And even when we did talk, no one was listening to each other. We might as well have been alone.
So finally one day, Sanzo was well enough that he could get out of bed and walk. We were playing cards downstairs, and he walked in. Y’know, grunted, like Sanzo does.
Then before we knew what was happening, Gojyo was on his feet, across the room and punching Sanzo in the face.
Total silence. Like it was in slow motion, Sanzo fell like a tree.
Then everyone was yelling all at the same time.
“Gojyo what the hell’re you doing?!”
“-bastard kappa fucking hit-“
“-know you had it coming, you lousy goddam priest, after what you-“
“Ahahaha. I do wish, Gojyo, that sometimes you might think before you act.” (OK, so, Hakkai wasn’t exactly yelling. He was just using that voice that means someone ought to start paying attention quick, before their innards get … out. But we didn’t notice, on account of we were all too busy yelling.)
The actual words ain’t that much - what I remember most is Gojyo, this hard bright fierce joy. He knew exactly what he was doing, he had Sanzo against a wall, and he just wouldn’t let up, til like sparks from a flint Sanzo caught it too. It took a long time, but by damn he did. And then they were yelling and cursing, shoving each other, and I was like, this is familiar.
And I looked closer til I saw what had happened.
And then I just couldn’t quit grinning, cause the sun was back.