Anchor (Challenge #45, Faith; Sanzo; G)
Title: Anchor
Author: opalmatrix
Warnings: None
Pairing(s): n/a, really
Spoilers: fragments of various character stories
Notes: written for saiyuki_time, Challenge #45, Faith; time allowed: 20 minutes; time taken: 25 minutes. Not real fond of this one - I don't know that I expressed what I meant to express. And then there's the fact that the anchor is traditionally the symbol of hope, not faith. Oh well.
Summary: When Ukoku tries the wipe out Sanzo's selfhood, there's something that won't let go.
He was frozen in place, and could not remember why. The images whirled past him like ink spilled into a stream, pulling apart even as they flowed past, meaningless. The silver-haired foreign priest, and his gigantic companion - had he seen them in Chang'an?
The current was stronger now. He began to wonder why he was resisting: it seemed impossible, and it took so much effort. Wasn't it easier to let go, let himself wash away?
No.
And why not? What did this all matter?
Why was the young man holding the gun, desperation and determination in his face and every line of his body? How did the shouting man have such impossibly red hair, and why was he angry?
He could feel the edges of himself fraying. Who am I? Who are they? Why do I care?
Now the image was of a young boy, with long brown hair. Wait. I know this.
The memory wavered, but he knew that small figure, the turn of the child's head, and when he looked up, those golden eyes.
Golden eyes.
Gold.
This is "fear."
Suddenly he had form, and limit. "No," he whispered, and the image came to him clearly, a small hand, reaching for his, every finger tipped with a slim claw.
"Noooo ... !"
Strong, callused fingers closed on his. Pain shrieked through his body, his limbs, and he was flying, tumbling, trees and dead leaves and sky whirling, Gojyo's red hair, Hakkai's startled face, Goku's golden eyes. The ground rushed up to meet him in a blow that nearly knocked him senseless, and he lay there: Genjyo Sanzo, the Thirty-First of China.
I knew.
I knew you'd never let me go without you.