Liek, religion and stuff
I am a Roman Catholic, born, Baptized, raised, and Confirmed. I still consider myself Catholic. But only in a sort of vague, "ethnic-group" sort of way. Truly though? I don't subscribe to that system of beliefs anymore. Hell, not to ruffle any feathers or anything, but I don't subscribe to Christianity in general anymore.
Can't say I've ever been able to justify the whole thing logically, and even though I'm not a particularly logical person, that fact? It just bothered me.
So. What do I believe in now?
Can't really say. If I must believe in a God, then I think that that God would be an impersonal one. One whose concerns do not include whether or not you've gone to confession this month. Or at all. He/She/It would be too busy being omnipotent. Therefore, this entity would not have the same emotional reactions or connections that we humans create, and would not subscribe to the rules that we humans follow. Hell, He/She/It may not even have emotions at all. At least, not in the way we understand them.
Necessarily, this God would leave us to our own devices, and I think that is awesome. We don't need some Big Beardy White Guy hovering over us, waiting with a hug and a book of rules. We need to discover ourselves. Explore the world. Enjoy it. We need to take responsibility for our own actions and acknowledge our own limitations. We need to be, and we need the space to be. And I think the hypothetical God I've described in the last paragraph would leave us alone so that we could do precisely that.
Alternatively, what we understand as God can simply be a personification of -to steal a term from Levinas- the Other (Yak, Levinas! Ano yan, Philo103?!?). But not the Other that would burden us with the responsibility for the endless horror of our irretrievable past, and the unmitigated despair of our unattainable future. Rather, I think this Other is more akin to Derrida's linguistic/semiotic Abyss. That which is unknown and beyond, but also within us. It is what drives us, because we are not yet (Ayun, isa pa yan, Heidegger! Ano ka, Christina, Philo Mode? Mag-aral ka na kaya ng Civil Law mo?!), and have never been. God is the unknown, and we stand between It, and what we know (which itself is also infinitely full of the unknown). In our struggle to live and understand, we move through It, within It, constantly slipping between meanings and re-imaginings and the physical world. And in this way, we take part in jeu: we play.
I believe that life is play. It is a game we create with ourselves, with others, and the Other, primarily so that we can have as much fun as possible. And God is the Game, the Playground, our Playmates, and Ourselves.
So... OK. Nevermind. I'm only partially-conscious, to be perfectly honest. I'm not entirely sure if I'm making sense. So to make it simple, here is what I believe:
I believe in goodness. I believe in the world. I believe in energy and dynamic tension and the music of the spheres. And I believe that eating a half-ripe Indian mango with some salt and soy sauce? Is totally awesome.
It's not Summer for me yet, but the mangoes are in season. So enjoy.
note! All those Dead White Guys I've been (mis)quoting? Haven't studied them in years. Literally. And I doubt I even studied them particularly well. So, if the more academic-minded of my (probably) nonexistent readership should find offense at my utter lack of knowledge/understanding/logic, I would like to apologize, and would gladly welcome criticism and correction.
Can't say I've ever been able to justify the whole thing logically, and even though I'm not a particularly logical person, that fact? It just bothered me.
So. What do I believe in now?
Can't really say. If I must believe in a God, then I think that that God would be an impersonal one. One whose concerns do not include whether or not you've gone to confession this month. Or at all. He/She/It would be too busy being omnipotent. Therefore, this entity would not have the same emotional reactions or connections that we humans create, and would not subscribe to the rules that we humans follow. Hell, He/She/It may not even have emotions at all. At least, not in the way we understand them.
Necessarily, this God would leave us to our own devices, and I think that is awesome. We don't need some Big Beardy White Guy hovering over us, waiting with a hug and a book of rules. We need to discover ourselves. Explore the world. Enjoy it. We need to take responsibility for our own actions and acknowledge our own limitations. We need to be, and we need the space to be. And I think the hypothetical God I've described in the last paragraph would leave us alone so that we could do precisely that.
Alternatively, what we understand as God can simply be a personification of -to steal a term from Levinas- the Other (Yak, Levinas! Ano yan, Philo103?!?). But not the Other that would burden us with the responsibility for the endless horror of our irretrievable past, and the unmitigated despair of our unattainable future. Rather, I think this Other is more akin to Derrida's linguistic/semiotic Abyss. That which is unknown and beyond, but also within us. It is what drives us, because we are not yet (Ayun, isa pa yan, Heidegger! Ano ka, Christina, Philo Mode? Mag-aral ka na kaya ng Civil Law mo?!), and have never been. God is the unknown, and we stand between It, and what we know (which itself is also infinitely full of the unknown). In our struggle to live and understand, we move through It, within It, constantly slipping between meanings and re-imaginings and the physical world. And in this way, we take part in jeu: we play.
I believe that life is play. It is a game we create with ourselves, with others, and the Other, primarily so that we can have as much fun as possible. And God is the Game, the Playground, our Playmates, and Ourselves.
So... OK. Nevermind. I'm only partially-conscious, to be perfectly honest. I'm not entirely sure if I'm making sense. So to make it simple, here is what I believe:
I believe in goodness. I believe in the world. I believe in energy and dynamic tension and the music of the spheres. And I believe that eating a half-ripe Indian mango with some salt and soy sauce? Is totally awesome.
It's not Summer for me yet, but the mangoes are in season. So enjoy.
note! All those Dead White Guys I've been (mis)quoting? Haven't studied them in years. Literally. And I doubt I even studied them particularly well. So, if the more academic-minded of my (probably) nonexistent readership should find offense at my utter lack of knowledge/understanding/logic, I would like to apologize, and would gladly welcome criticism and correction.