(no subject)
My Bio-Dad has cancer.
So weird to see this typed out, after knowing it for so long.
So yeah, back in February when I called to wish him a Happy Birthday, he told me the story of how back in DECEMBER he had something go wrong in his annual checkup and that he was being treated for lung cancer.
"Dude, when exactly were you going to tell me this, at the funeral?"
So over the last few months, he's gone through chemo, radiation treatments, you name it. Whatever was left after all of that, they took it out in surgery. It was the spot about the size of a quarter, and it was fortunate that they caught it early. But still, after all the chemo and whatnot, and the surgery, it was weird when I talked to him a coupla weeks ago and he sounded very down. He wasn't very energetic, he didn't want to eat, he just wanted to lay in bed. Which really isn't healthy, but as I say to my FIL about a lot of situations in my life - you can't tell grown folks anything.
BioDad having cancer has hit me a little harder than I would expect. Between him and BioMom, they're the last parents I have left. And they've been good parents to grown up me. I honestly believe that as long as you have parents, you're always going to need them. Not so much to bail you out of shit, but to listen and offer advice when asked. Madison and I had a very entertaining convo about that. She asked me if I was going to be around her when I died. I told her trust me, you can't get rid of me. When you have kids and you tell them not to do stupid stuff, that'll be me telling you exactly what to say. She laughed it off, but don't think I don't hear Ma in my head every time I have to tell my kids quit being stupid or impart some kind of wisdom into their lives. It's something I never wanted to happen, but I really am turning into my mother. Hopefully only the good qualities, and not the bad ones.
So yes. This entry is about me and my BioDad having cancer and how weird it is and how I'm dealing with it. And really I'm dealing with it okay, but...I worry about him like I worry about my own kids but I try not to overdo it. I call twice a week [as opposed to about once a month before all this happened]. Some weeks he sounds good, and other weeks, not so much. The other week he didn't sound too good and it sounded like he wasn't really trying. I worried all week but figured that he just needed to rest and get his focus back and when I called yesterday he sounded a ton better. He said that the pics I posted on FB with the kids and the dogs and my tomato plants [yeah, I've been growing tomato plants] made him feel really good. So I'll keep posting pics of that.
Foot's supposed to be home on the 21st or 22nd. As I've said before, mixed feelings about this. The whole dynamic has changed, but I don't think he's gotten it through his head that it has just yet.
In the meantime, still muddling through. I'm hanging in there as best I can. :)
So weird to see this typed out, after knowing it for so long.
So yeah, back in February when I called to wish him a Happy Birthday, he told me the story of how back in DECEMBER he had something go wrong in his annual checkup and that he was being treated for lung cancer.
"Dude, when exactly were you going to tell me this, at the funeral?"
So over the last few months, he's gone through chemo, radiation treatments, you name it. Whatever was left after all of that, they took it out in surgery. It was the spot about the size of a quarter, and it was fortunate that they caught it early. But still, after all the chemo and whatnot, and the surgery, it was weird when I talked to him a coupla weeks ago and he sounded very down. He wasn't very energetic, he didn't want to eat, he just wanted to lay in bed. Which really isn't healthy, but as I say to my FIL about a lot of situations in my life - you can't tell grown folks anything.
BioDad having cancer has hit me a little harder than I would expect. Between him and BioMom, they're the last parents I have left. And they've been good parents to grown up me. I honestly believe that as long as you have parents, you're always going to need them. Not so much to bail you out of shit, but to listen and offer advice when asked. Madison and I had a very entertaining convo about that. She asked me if I was going to be around her when I died. I told her trust me, you can't get rid of me. When you have kids and you tell them not to do stupid stuff, that'll be me telling you exactly what to say. She laughed it off, but don't think I don't hear Ma in my head every time I have to tell my kids quit being stupid or impart some kind of wisdom into their lives. It's something I never wanted to happen, but I really am turning into my mother. Hopefully only the good qualities, and not the bad ones.
So yes. This entry is about me and my BioDad having cancer and how weird it is and how I'm dealing with it. And really I'm dealing with it okay, but...I worry about him like I worry about my own kids but I try not to overdo it. I call twice a week [as opposed to about once a month before all this happened]. Some weeks he sounds good, and other weeks, not so much. The other week he didn't sound too good and it sounded like he wasn't really trying. I worried all week but figured that he just needed to rest and get his focus back and when I called yesterday he sounded a ton better. He said that the pics I posted on FB with the kids and the dogs and my tomato plants [yeah, I've been growing tomato plants] made him feel really good. So I'll keep posting pics of that.
Foot's supposed to be home on the 21st or 22nd. As I've said before, mixed feelings about this. The whole dynamic has changed, but I don't think he's gotten it through his head that it has just yet.
In the meantime, still muddling through. I'm hanging in there as best I can. :)