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[sainttrix96]

I don't think I've ever felt this down about my life. Like I've hit lows before but really I'm at like a low that i've never felt before. There is so many things that drive me crazy right now. I'm so alone. So many of my problems are not anything to talk about, like money and that sort of stuff. how exactly do you talk about that sort of stuff? it's just how it is, for a lot of people too, there's nothing to say all you can do is wait it out. As far as my personal life goes, I can't even talk to the people I need to talk with about it. It's like I'm trapped in a room and with myself and there is no one else to help me through these hard metal walls that jail me. And I am the last person I seem to need right now.

A friend once told me that you have to be able to conquer everything you want and many times if not most times it must be done by yourself. You can't rely on anyone for anything, because it just sets up problems. This is very true, and I lean on others more then I want to... way too much. But once again I sit here trying to conquer this on my own and it is just overwhelming. I know I need to find my own way, I guess I just wish a certain someone would pull me out of this ocean of acid I'm burning in. The problem is if this person does, then that person will get burned too, and I just don't want to make anyone do that. Maybe I'm hoping they will do it on there own, and be willing to get burned to save me...

I know, I'm fucked in the head, but I'm not getting specific on an online journal. No one reads this anyway.