lost.
I'm lost. I'm in the right place, doing the right things, but I am still lost. Who am I? Why is it i feel numb or sad? I don't know what it is, its like i sit in my dorm room starring into space with no motivation to get up and change that. I want so much yet will not get up and do it, or i won't until the last fucking moment. Where is the zest in my life that makes things worth while? Yeah, goin out is fun, drinking is fun, but where are my friends??????? Where are those moments that define my young adult life?
Nothing truley interesting has happened to me in so long. I feel like I take the fall for things more than reep the benefits.
I feel i've failed at something, I feel like I've missed something. I don't know what. There is just grey bland shit that makes no wave of color in my life right now and i hate it. I've hit rock bottom and stole steadily down its cold hard line.
I'm tired of people, tired of walking away from a fight because "its not worth it", tired of being a punching bag. I want to rip out the heart of the people who have wronged me and burn them before their eyes, just before they fall to hell. I'm so vengfull, angry, and hateful... but right on the flip side I'm low, timid, and lifeless... this is depression. When you have no answers to why you feel so many things that it equates to no feeling at all.
Maybe I need help...
Nothing truley interesting has happened to me in so long. I feel like I take the fall for things more than reep the benefits.
I feel i've failed at something, I feel like I've missed something. I don't know what. There is just grey bland shit that makes no wave of color in my life right now and i hate it. I've hit rock bottom and stole steadily down its cold hard line.
I'm tired of people, tired of walking away from a fight because "its not worth it", tired of being a punching bag. I want to rip out the heart of the people who have wronged me and burn them before their eyes, just before they fall to hell. I'm so vengfull, angry, and hateful... but right on the flip side I'm low, timid, and lifeless... this is depression. When you have no answers to why you feel so many things that it equates to no feeling at all.
Maybe I need help...