[30 Saint Seiya Themes] Fanfic - Say a Prayer
Hi. I’m one of those LJ-illiterate people who can’t figure out how to put superscript in the subject line.
I’m sorry this took so long. I was thisclose to being finished, but one of my friends lent me Tales of Symphonia, and I got a little sidetracked (read: completely obsessed). Not a good excuse, I know. Hehe. :) I should be posting much more often now.
So you know before you read, it has a severe tendency to randomly jump around, as I have a severe tendency to do when writing these kinds of fics. Also, I don’t know the epilogue to the Hades arc (ie. who gets brought back to life, who doesn’t, if anyone does, etc.). Just to let you know.
Title: Say a Prayer
Author: personsama
Character: Pisces Aphrodite
List: A
Theme: #1 - Deity
Warnings: …possible mutilation of storyline…
Disclaimer: I don’t own. This is for my own amusement.
Words: 1418
Athena. As a Gold Saint, she’s my goddess. Her word is law. At least, that’s what they say. Whether it’s true or not, that’s another story.
I’ve seen the Underworld, died and have been brought back to life, and seen the deities Athena and Hades, and I can’t bring myself to accept it. As a Gold Saint, it’s my obligation to serve Athena. In order to serve her, one would at least have to believe in her existence. I believe, obviously, but I can’t honestly say I serve. It has nothing to do with the concept of living my life in the service of another. I can’t say I really mind that, due to…past experiences, but every time I try to embrace Athena as my goddess, I get the feeling something’s just not right.
I suppose it makes me different from all the other Gold Saints. Their devotion to Athena is blind. Ignorant, almost. They would follow her to the ends of the earth without a second thought. The idea of accepting Athena and her family as the supreme gods seems…appalling, for lack of a better word. I suppose there’s no harm in doing so, but every time I try to truly live up to my oath as a Gold Saint, the notion seems revolting. It’s almost as if there’s a little voice in the back of my head, you know the kind, that says, “No, don’t do this. It’s wrong, and you know it.”
But how could I know otherwise? I’ve never been taught that way. My family, well, to say they didn’t believe in a deity of any sort would be a massive understatement. I had no idea of the concept of a deity until the man who took me to Greenland said, “Hey, kid, guess what? You’re a servant of Athena now, so you’d best abandon any god you’ve been serving.” Or something to that extent. The impression I got, from that man and others, was that she was a cruel, sadistic bitch. Needless to say, my opinion of her hasn’t changed much since then, minus the “cruel” and “sadistic,” of course.
Something strikes me as truly odd, especially now that I’ve been brought back to life for a second time. I had heard that when Deathmask fought the Dragon Saint Shiryu, the Cancer Cloth abandoned him. Like me, he knew the Kyoukou had usurped the throne of Sanctuary. Deathmask and myself both blatantly defied Athena, but unlike him, my Cloth stayed with me. I went against her and knew I was going against her twice now. Isn’t that reason enough for the Pisces Cloth to leave me? For defying my goddess, one would think it’s warranted. Either that, or, like a certain Cancer Saint I could name, to stay in hell. Is she giving me a second chance? For a so-called “goddess of wisdom,” that’s incredibly naïve. Besides, if she is giving me another chance, what makes her think that I actually wanted one? Death would have been much better than yet another chance at life… But that’s for another time.
The other Saints, especially her brothel of five, would be repulsed by the mere notion of harming their goddess in any way. They would never consider serving any other god. I’m their polar opposite, which makes me wonder why I’m currently not in hell. Most people would jump at the chance to worship a deity that you could freely speak with, earning it, of course. I don’t know what to believe. Athena and her family are real, but what makes worshiping them better than worshiping any other gods? I should get kicked out of Sanctuary for even thinking such a thing. Funny, I’ve been thinking that since before I fought Shun, and I’m still here.
That’s partially why I sided against her when she returned. Being one of her Saints was never my choice, and even after all this time spent as one, it still isn’t the life I’d choose. Granted, I do live better here than in Sweden, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my (at this rate, endless) life in the service of a goddess I don’t worship. Everyone else in Sanctuary would never dream of worshiping another deity, because they don’t know differently, Athena is here, or maybe because worshiping her gives them a life better than the one they had.
As I said, my life here is far better than Sweden, but do you remember that little voice? This is when it normally kicks in, saying, “Hey, I hope you’re not seriously considering worshiping her. It’s still wrong, and her giving you an easier life is no excuse. Slacker.” It’s like getting smashed to forget about life, I suppose. That’s what my mother always did, and how she explained it. It’s not as if Athena would let me get smashed in order to ascertain if her claims true. Besides it would tarnish the damn reputation of the Gold Saints especially (as if it hasn’t been tarnished enough) if one of us were to get smashed, and whatever gods there are forbid us getting addicted.
With thinking these things, I suppose it’s good that I’m not in Sanctuary. Besides my temple, the only place where I’m almost completely at peace is here, ironically enough, in the Roman cathedral here in Athens. Anyone else in Sanctuary would consider it sacrilegious to set foot in this place. Of course, the voice doesn’t shut up here either, but oddly enough, it’s much less harsh here, as opposed to when I’m near Athena’s shrine.
Choosing a god or pantheon and believing so strongly, to the point of knowing there aren’t any others but yours - that’s faith. The difference between myself and all the other Saints is this: They all place their faith in Athena, and I don’t know who to place mine in. I know there’s only one correct option, and for reasons I can’t explain, I’m just as sure that that choice isn’t Athena and her family. I would have placed my faith in a certain deity, and have no questions about whether or not mine is the true one. I do have faith, but as I said, my issue is who to place it in. I don’t really believe in anything. I suppose that could be interpreted as a lack of faith, but I think not. The value of faith is that, in choosing a god to worship, you have something to live your life for. You’re never without a purpose, and you always mean something.
Hm? Ah, they’re ready for me now. They decided to give me an execution, and my “escort” is here now. This is just a waste of time. Why didn’t they just leave me in hell? Why bring me back to life, only to die again in less than three days? She doesn’t want to do this, I can tell, but how will she get me out of it? Lie? That’s not very godly of her. Why would she want to? I tried to kill her. She gave Saga another chance, but unlike him, I’m not sorry for anything I did. It’s what my crimes deserve, after all. Faith. It hasn’t done me very much good…
Please, whatever gods there are, the only place I can find true peace is in death’s cold embrace. To cease to exist, to feel nothing, to just sleep, to let go of everything - that’s been my wish for so long. It’s so simple, and a fate that most would consider to be true hell. I would welcome it. I beg of you, give it to me. Surely you have the honor to fulfill a dying man’s last prayer? Give me peace - please… It can’t be too hard a request to concede, even though I know I’m undeserving. To be trapped, forever trapped in the heart’s silent silken beat… Angel of Death, take my life, however you see fit, and bestow upon me eternal rest. Solitude. Peace. This is all I ask of you. Please, heed my request, and give me the one thing I’ve wanted for I can’t remember how long. Grant me this mere petition, and I will finally have the one thing I’ve truly sought. I have no time left on the mortal plane, make your decision, the time is drawing near. If you give me hell, I can break free and rise once more, only die again in a neverending cycle…so choose wisely. Amen.
I’m sorry this took so long. I was thisclose to being finished, but one of my friends lent me Tales of Symphonia, and I got a little sidetracked (read: completely obsessed). Not a good excuse, I know. Hehe. :) I should be posting much more often now.
So you know before you read, it has a severe tendency to randomly jump around, as I have a severe tendency to do when writing these kinds of fics. Also, I don’t know the epilogue to the Hades arc (ie. who gets brought back to life, who doesn’t, if anyone does, etc.). Just to let you know.
Title: Say a Prayer
Author: personsama
Character: Pisces Aphrodite
List: A
Theme: #1 - Deity
Warnings: …possible mutilation of storyline…
Disclaimer: I don’t own. This is for my own amusement.
Words: 1418
Athena. As a Gold Saint, she’s my goddess. Her word is law. At least, that’s what they say. Whether it’s true or not, that’s another story.
I’ve seen the Underworld, died and have been brought back to life, and seen the deities Athena and Hades, and I can’t bring myself to accept it. As a Gold Saint, it’s my obligation to serve Athena. In order to serve her, one would at least have to believe in her existence. I believe, obviously, but I can’t honestly say I serve. It has nothing to do with the concept of living my life in the service of another. I can’t say I really mind that, due to…past experiences, but every time I try to embrace Athena as my goddess, I get the feeling something’s just not right.
I suppose it makes me different from all the other Gold Saints. Their devotion to Athena is blind. Ignorant, almost. They would follow her to the ends of the earth without a second thought. The idea of accepting Athena and her family as the supreme gods seems…appalling, for lack of a better word. I suppose there’s no harm in doing so, but every time I try to truly live up to my oath as a Gold Saint, the notion seems revolting. It’s almost as if there’s a little voice in the back of my head, you know the kind, that says, “No, don’t do this. It’s wrong, and you know it.”
But how could I know otherwise? I’ve never been taught that way. My family, well, to say they didn’t believe in a deity of any sort would be a massive understatement. I had no idea of the concept of a deity until the man who took me to Greenland said, “Hey, kid, guess what? You’re a servant of Athena now, so you’d best abandon any god you’ve been serving.” Or something to that extent. The impression I got, from that man and others, was that she was a cruel, sadistic bitch. Needless to say, my opinion of her hasn’t changed much since then, minus the “cruel” and “sadistic,” of course.
Something strikes me as truly odd, especially now that I’ve been brought back to life for a second time. I had heard that when Deathmask fought the Dragon Saint Shiryu, the Cancer Cloth abandoned him. Like me, he knew the Kyoukou had usurped the throne of Sanctuary. Deathmask and myself both blatantly defied Athena, but unlike him, my Cloth stayed with me. I went against her and knew I was going against her twice now. Isn’t that reason enough for the Pisces Cloth to leave me? For defying my goddess, one would think it’s warranted. Either that, or, like a certain Cancer Saint I could name, to stay in hell. Is she giving me a second chance? For a so-called “goddess of wisdom,” that’s incredibly naïve. Besides, if she is giving me another chance, what makes her think that I actually wanted one? Death would have been much better than yet another chance at life… But that’s for another time.
The other Saints, especially her brothel of five, would be repulsed by the mere notion of harming their goddess in any way. They would never consider serving any other god. I’m their polar opposite, which makes me wonder why I’m currently not in hell. Most people would jump at the chance to worship a deity that you could freely speak with, earning it, of course. I don’t know what to believe. Athena and her family are real, but what makes worshiping them better than worshiping any other gods? I should get kicked out of Sanctuary for even thinking such a thing. Funny, I’ve been thinking that since before I fought Shun, and I’m still here.
That’s partially why I sided against her when she returned. Being one of her Saints was never my choice, and even after all this time spent as one, it still isn’t the life I’d choose. Granted, I do live better here than in Sweden, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my (at this rate, endless) life in the service of a goddess I don’t worship. Everyone else in Sanctuary would never dream of worshiping another deity, because they don’t know differently, Athena is here, or maybe because worshiping her gives them a life better than the one they had.
As I said, my life here is far better than Sweden, but do you remember that little voice? This is when it normally kicks in, saying, “Hey, I hope you’re not seriously considering worshiping her. It’s still wrong, and her giving you an easier life is no excuse. Slacker.” It’s like getting smashed to forget about life, I suppose. That’s what my mother always did, and how she explained it. It’s not as if Athena would let me get smashed in order to ascertain if her claims true. Besides it would tarnish the damn reputation of the Gold Saints especially (as if it hasn’t been tarnished enough) if one of us were to get smashed, and whatever gods there are forbid us getting addicted.
With thinking these things, I suppose it’s good that I’m not in Sanctuary. Besides my temple, the only place where I’m almost completely at peace is here, ironically enough, in the Roman cathedral here in Athens. Anyone else in Sanctuary would consider it sacrilegious to set foot in this place. Of course, the voice doesn’t shut up here either, but oddly enough, it’s much less harsh here, as opposed to when I’m near Athena’s shrine.
Choosing a god or pantheon and believing so strongly, to the point of knowing there aren’t any others but yours - that’s faith. The difference between myself and all the other Saints is this: They all place their faith in Athena, and I don’t know who to place mine in. I know there’s only one correct option, and for reasons I can’t explain, I’m just as sure that that choice isn’t Athena and her family. I would have placed my faith in a certain deity, and have no questions about whether or not mine is the true one. I do have faith, but as I said, my issue is who to place it in. I don’t really believe in anything. I suppose that could be interpreted as a lack of faith, but I think not. The value of faith is that, in choosing a god to worship, you have something to live your life for. You’re never without a purpose, and you always mean something.
Hm? Ah, they’re ready for me now. They decided to give me an execution, and my “escort” is here now. This is just a waste of time. Why didn’t they just leave me in hell? Why bring me back to life, only to die again in less than three days? She doesn’t want to do this, I can tell, but how will she get me out of it? Lie? That’s not very godly of her. Why would she want to? I tried to kill her. She gave Saga another chance, but unlike him, I’m not sorry for anything I did. It’s what my crimes deserve, after all. Faith. It hasn’t done me very much good…
Please, whatever gods there are, the only place I can find true peace is in death’s cold embrace. To cease to exist, to feel nothing, to just sleep, to let go of everything - that’s been my wish for so long. It’s so simple, and a fate that most would consider to be true hell. I would welcome it. I beg of you, give it to me. Surely you have the honor to fulfill a dying man’s last prayer? Give me peace - please… It can’t be too hard a request to concede, even though I know I’m undeserving. To be trapped, forever trapped in the heart’s silent silken beat… Angel of Death, take my life, however you see fit, and bestow upon me eternal rest. Solitude. Peace. This is all I ask of you. Please, heed my request, and give me the one thing I’ve wanted for I can’t remember how long. Grant me this mere petition, and I will finally have the one thing I’ve truly sought. I have no time left on the mortal plane, make your decision, the time is drawing near. If you give me hell, I can break free and rise once more, only die again in a neverending cycle…so choose wisely. Amen.