Today!
Hey you guys, guess what! I moved and now I'm officially living in New York Fucking City!
Of course, even though I am here in the greatest city in the world, where all of my fabulously exciting and beautiful friends live, where everything is always happening, I have still spent the majority of my time fucking about on the internet and eating grilled cheese while sitting on my bed watching Intervention in my underwear. New city, new apartment, same saintsalvage .
The only rough patch is that I am going to have to learn what I must re-learn every time I go through a Major Life Change. I always think that THIS is what is going to finally end all of this lingering depression nonsense, THIS is what is finally going to be the last step and is going to make it go away once and for all and forever. Of course, that's absurd. I have gone through having an eating disorder, being a cutter, feeling suicidal, attempting suicide, etc., and I have come out the other side of all of this with extraordinary confidence and assuredness and contentment. But I need to get used to the fact that there will always be a little underlying twinge of sadness, that even though it's gone from a bottomless pit to a little hole in the ground I still sometimes slip in for a moment and need to haul myself out.
But. I will learn that. I am learning it. And it's manageable now, for the first time ever. 2010 was the worst year and the best year for me.
In some attempt at making this a post that includes something of substance besides a picture of the brick wall about which I am SO EXCITED YOU GUYS, LOOK HOW PRETTY IT IS, here is something I have been doing lately: coming to terms with the fact that I am painfully hipster sometimes. I play the ukulele on the YouTubes! I covered 99 Problems, perhaps you will like that?
xo
Of course, even though I am here in the greatest city in the world, where all of my fabulously exciting and beautiful friends live, where everything is always happening, I have still spent the majority of my time fucking about on the internet and eating grilled cheese while sitting on my bed watching Intervention in my underwear. New city, new apartment, same saintsalvage .
The only rough patch is that I am going to have to learn what I must re-learn every time I go through a Major Life Change. I always think that THIS is what is going to finally end all of this lingering depression nonsense, THIS is what is finally going to be the last step and is going to make it go away once and for all and forever. Of course, that's absurd. I have gone through having an eating disorder, being a cutter, feeling suicidal, attempting suicide, etc., and I have come out the other side of all of this with extraordinary confidence and assuredness and contentment. But I need to get used to the fact that there will always be a little underlying twinge of sadness, that even though it's gone from a bottomless pit to a little hole in the ground I still sometimes slip in for a moment and need to haul myself out.
But. I will learn that. I am learning it. And it's manageable now, for the first time ever. 2010 was the worst year and the best year for me.
In some attempt at making this a post that includes something of substance besides a picture of the brick wall about which I am SO EXCITED YOU GUYS, LOOK HOW PRETTY IT IS, here is something I have been doing lately: coming to terms with the fact that I am painfully hipster sometimes. I play the ukulele on the YouTubes! I covered 99 Problems, perhaps you will like that?
xo