Ravings of a soul grown weary...
Stuff I don't particularly like about myself:
I'm an attention-whore. Why did I always have to be the best, or the smartest, or constantly seek man's approval? Why do I still...? Perhaps I look for affirmation from others to make up for something I don't have enough of within myself...
I'm needy. I'm insecure. I'm a perfectionist. I always bite off more than I can chew (but really, I could probably handle as much as I think I could - if only I was better at saying no to my flesh, and to that which I know is trivial and temporary). Did I mention that I'm lazy, that I'm a quitter, and that I vacillate between self-hatred, and denial that anything is wrong at all?
Stop grumbling and complaining. Pick your head up. See the blessings and wonder of God, and can the selfish attitude. Your first concern when you are hurting ought not be to grumble, complain, or otherwise wallow inside yourself. Instead, take it to God, and don't beat yourself up for your sins, failures, and shortcomings. We all fall short, and no one is perfect.
Repent, ask forgiveness, and know that you have it and are cleansed by the blood of the Lamb. "It is finished."
"The journey is too hard for you. Eat and be strengthened."
Take time to go to God and make things right. Don't try to pretend like everything is ok.
Confused? So am I. I'm just writing down the stuff I scrawled last night in bed when I couldn't sleep (this is a back-dated entry).