All that for a nudie toothbrush
Urban Outfitters finally arrived in Saint Louis last month and I've been dying to visit there until last night. I was on a mission for the Nudie Toothbrush. The nudie toothbrush has been the only thing on my mind until my visit there this past week. I'm a pervo. I'm owning it.
When I visited Urban Outfitters earlier this week, it was just as I hoped it would be. It's a 2.5 level store full of items that cater to me all over. Finding the Nudie toothbrush was very much like finding the irreverent needle in the haystack. I looked all over each level eventually making to the clearance section. Oh yes! The clearance section.
Surprisingly, not all of it was a big pile of crap like other stores' "areas of items' last chance."
I found (and purchased) a neo-modern ice blue (but available in other colours) clock for $1.99. Oh what a bargain for me. I also found a game I had as a child and suddenly I was swept back in time 25 years to first grade when I would open up the folding bowling lane, flick the switch elevating all 10 thin plastic bowling pins, wind up the happy clockwork bowling ball with shoes as it would ecstatically hop down the mini lane in hopes of strike leading to breaking 100. It was made by Tomy (of Japan) and that's real good. I'm very happy that they still make the classics.
Still browsing, I picked up a set of highball glasses with cute "Laugh-In" style flowers on them. The price was not on the front of the box, nor the sides. As I tilted the box forward to see if there was a price tag on the underside of the box, I took it for granted that each glass was in the box securely. I was wrong. The glass with the blue Laugh-In flowers fell in slow motion and busted all over the concrete floor. Every head on that level turned up to look at me feeling like the same 7-year old playing with his Tomy clockwork bowling game.
The first sales associate to approached me wasn't the nicest. It was some bleached-blond girl who I'm sure is in some sort of band that tries to sound like Liz Phair or some shit like that. Her only response to my apology was "ugh." Yeah, I felt warmed. The next associate to assist was a guy and he was nice and as I apologized to him (because it didn't seem to work on that bleachy-haired dead common slag) he immediately told me that it wasn't a problem and they'll take care of it right away. He also asked me if I was okay. I hope for the store's sake that he was part of the management team.
I still felt like a complete oaf after all that was over and Susan Powter was sweeping up my mess (because her skills have only reached to that maximum). Suitably, I made my way over to the shiny aluminum cups (4 for $15, I think) which seemed more appropriate to drift to. After all that chaos, it was only 3 minutes later and I still haven't found the nudie toothbrush. Many would have just paid for the claimed items and left but it was my mission that day (the next day's mission was a rice cooker but it didn't have the same noteworthiness as this mission).
I asked the girl in the Little House on the Prairie skirt (who also had witnessed where I shattered glass with [a heart of stone, Laura Branigan] my expertise of doing so) where the nudie toothbrushes were located. I often find myself in situations where I wish I could turn back the clock 3 minutes so I can rethink my actions and statements. This was one of them. My mind recreated the thoughts of the Urban Outfitters Laura-Ingalls-Half-Pint fashion doll. Oh great, he just created a mess of broken glass suitable for Loni Anderson to walk on for Circus of the Stars and and now he wants a nudie toothbrush. All this and I'm out of clove cigarettes. Fucking Pervert!
Actually, she was nicer than I anticipated. She knew I was embarrassed enough from the previous affair that occurred minutes before. She brought me to the bathroom section and found a girl nudie toothbrush for me. I was so flattered. I was still flattered when I put the girl nudie toothbrush back and found the boy (if I were the ad exec: it would be guy, man or frat boy) toothbrush found the check out counter.
Despite all that, I'd like to go back this weekend. On the website, they have some cute underwear, it's a shame I didn't see it in the store the first time.
When I visited Urban Outfitters earlier this week, it was just as I hoped it would be. It's a 2.5 level store full of items that cater to me all over. Finding the Nudie toothbrush was very much like finding the irreverent needle in the haystack. I looked all over each level eventually making to the clearance section. Oh yes! The clearance section.
Surprisingly, not all of it was a big pile of crap like other stores' "areas of items' last chance."
I found (and purchased) a neo-modern ice blue (but available in other colours) clock for $1.99. Oh what a bargain for me. I also found a game I had as a child and suddenly I was swept back in time 25 years to first grade when I would open up the folding bowling lane, flick the switch elevating all 10 thin plastic bowling pins, wind up the happy clockwork bowling ball with shoes as it would ecstatically hop down the mini lane in hopes of strike leading to breaking 100. It was made by Tomy (of Japan) and that's real good. I'm very happy that they still make the classics.
Still browsing, I picked up a set of highball glasses with cute "Laugh-In" style flowers on them. The price was not on the front of the box, nor the sides. As I tilted the box forward to see if there was a price tag on the underside of the box, I took it for granted that each glass was in the box securely. I was wrong. The glass with the blue Laugh-In flowers fell in slow motion and busted all over the concrete floor. Every head on that level turned up to look at me feeling like the same 7-year old playing with his Tomy clockwork bowling game.
The first sales associate to approached me wasn't the nicest. It was some bleached-blond girl who I'm sure is in some sort of band that tries to sound like Liz Phair or some shit like that. Her only response to my apology was "ugh." Yeah, I felt warmed. The next associate to assist was a guy and he was nice and as I apologized to him (because it didn't seem to work on that bleachy-haired dead common slag) he immediately told me that it wasn't a problem and they'll take care of it right away. He also asked me if I was okay. I hope for the store's sake that he was part of the management team.
I still felt like a complete oaf after all that was over and Susan Powter was sweeping up my mess (because her skills have only reached to that maximum). Suitably, I made my way over to the shiny aluminum cups (4 for $15, I think) which seemed more appropriate to drift to. After all that chaos, it was only 3 minutes later and I still haven't found the nudie toothbrush. Many would have just paid for the claimed items and left but it was my mission that day (the next day's mission was a rice cooker but it didn't have the same noteworthiness as this mission).
I asked the girl in the Little House on the Prairie skirt (who also had witnessed where I shattered glass with [a heart of stone, Laura Branigan] my expertise of doing so) where the nudie toothbrushes were located. I often find myself in situations where I wish I could turn back the clock 3 minutes so I can rethink my actions and statements. This was one of them. My mind recreated the thoughts of the Urban Outfitters Laura-Ingalls-Half-Pint fashion doll. Oh great, he just created a mess of broken glass suitable for Loni Anderson to walk on for Circus of the Stars and and now he wants a nudie toothbrush. All this and I'm out of clove cigarettes. Fucking Pervert!
Actually, she was nicer than I anticipated. She knew I was embarrassed enough from the previous affair that occurred minutes before. She brought me to the bathroom section and found a girl nudie toothbrush for me. I was so flattered. I was still flattered when I put the girl nudie toothbrush back and found the boy (if I were the ad exec: it would be guy, man or frat boy) toothbrush found the check out counter.
Despite all that, I'd like to go back this weekend. On the website, they have some cute underwear, it's a shame I didn't see it in the store the first time.