(no subject)
my mother found a book on my uncle's shelf entitled
the college man's roadtrip guide to all women's colleges : WHERE THE GIRLS ARE TODAY
it was published in 1984 and is the most ridiculous shit i've ever read.
re mills it says: "the san francisco area has plenty in the way of culture, and surrounding campuses, especially UC Berkeley, offer a good party scene. if you're not from the area, fear not. the girls need a change of pace. how many bleeding heart liberals and communists can a bunch of fun-loving girls put up with?" this is in nineteen fucking eighty four.
i would quote more, but quotes are boring and the title really pretty much sums it up. inside there are pictures of girls with blonde hair and polo shirts holding beer cans. i would be supremely depressed (and surprised) if anyone ever got any pussy out of this book.
*sigh*...humans are such fucking douchebags.
ok, i lied about quoting. i was about to close the book until i found this informative box titled sixteen will get you twenty.
"what's a poor college guy to do? he eyes a pretty girl standing alone by the bar. he makes his approach, tells a few jokes, draws warm, appreciative laughter. they start a conversation. she tells him she is from so-and-so college, and the dialogue progresses. but soon the truth comes out. she's a junior in high school, just seventeen and you know what we mean.
now what's he supposed to do? some folks would say he should be cruel and break the young girl's heart, but we disagree. she might never recover, and what's more, the guy would have wasted a great deal of time. other would encourage him to be an American and treat all people equally regardless of age, sex, race, or national origin. after all, it's only constitutional.
faced with this situation, you may at first be inclined to flagrantly violate the constitution. but be forewarned; as an old cigar commercial once promised, sooner or later, they're gonna get ya. from the models on the cover of seventeen magazine to the friends your no-longer-little sister brings home, they will attack, weakening you with every blow, until in the end you are heard mumbling, "well, mom is ten years younger than dad."
no, you say. not me. i had enough of high school girls in high school. i went to college to meet real women. well, you won't if our friends the jailbait have their day in court.
so admit it now. you might as well give in. you're licked. just stay out of trouble and keep far away from elementary schools."
i'm not even going to say anything about all of the things that are completely and utterly wrong with that. you already know without me telling you.
sometimes i try really hard to be an equal opportunity misanthrope, but then something like this comes along and i end up hating men just a little bit more.