(no subject)
I want to write towards the people in my life for awhile:
Rachael, I admire your personal drive so much. If you're weren't so much like me I would never worry, but our shared predisposition to immolation and gravity terrifies me because I love you, but we are fundamentally disparate in our strength. Be yourself; if you try to be like me any more than you already have, you will self-destruct. You will do beautiful and wise things with your life granted you find the inherent wisdom and autonomy you are afraid of.
Betsy. I never wane in my perpetual newfound appreciation of you on almost a daily scale. It would be enough if you were kind or intelligent or witty or spiritually aware or refreshingly unmasochistic or wildly creative or determinedly beautiful...but somehow, you are all of these things. I want to create with you, ponder and marinate in sunshine under sprightly palms. You make me want to be a rock star and a mathmetician and a black-and-white photographer. I guess you make me want more, overall, and that may be the best gift ever.
Morgan. I watch you all the time, you know. I've known you now for several years; first, I had an illogical dislike for you, followed almost immediately by a grudging respect and a cautious friendship, and now I'm completely lost without your energy in my life. I occaisonally worry that you will never escape the lull of The Apartment, but I know better. Just from the mirrored light in your eyes I know you'll make it through intact. The expansive intelligence and life you are literally inundated in astound me, challenege me, make me ecstatic and joyful that we are finally the friends we should have been a long time ago.
Kate. I love you, although sometimes I question if I should. I do not miss you for the way you were; I will not mourn you while you still draw breath. You boldly lie, you collect hearts on your sleeve, and you make everyone around you dance to fulfill your ennui. Regardless of this, I love you as much as I've ever loved anyone. Please, please, let it all go. Stop baring your teeth at the world.
Anthony. You mistake fear for progress.
Mikey. You are fighting for a corpse. Your redemption can only be found in adaptation and acceptance. I sincerely feel that once you regain wakefulness, you could be more than you ever imagined. Don't let me down.
Mandy. There have been too many times I have seen you in the heated throes of happiness, only to pivot and find yourself collapsed. Be careful with Ed; just, be careful in general. You deserve the inherent joy you are now discovering was embedded within yourself all along. Frankly, you rock.
Erica. Sometimes I think you are the most beautiful person I have ever met.
Catherine. You are wise. You have a good mind. You, of all people, are possible of creation. You do not need to borrow words or feelings or ideas; you are those things. I know you are capable of brilliant flares of faith. I know you will grow into your own life soon enough.
Crystal. You give off the impression of incadescent glass. You are beautiful and clever but, inevitably, made of glass. You are an incredible person, why would you want to hide behind your facets? Take yourself and run with it.
Morgan Hayes. You're cool.
...
This is my last journal entry. Goodnight, and thanks for listening.
Rachael, I admire your personal drive so much. If you're weren't so much like me I would never worry, but our shared predisposition to immolation and gravity terrifies me because I love you, but we are fundamentally disparate in our strength. Be yourself; if you try to be like me any more than you already have, you will self-destruct. You will do beautiful and wise things with your life granted you find the inherent wisdom and autonomy you are afraid of.
Betsy. I never wane in my perpetual newfound appreciation of you on almost a daily scale. It would be enough if you were kind or intelligent or witty or spiritually aware or refreshingly unmasochistic or wildly creative or determinedly beautiful...but somehow, you are all of these things. I want to create with you, ponder and marinate in sunshine under sprightly palms. You make me want to be a rock star and a mathmetician and a black-and-white photographer. I guess you make me want more, overall, and that may be the best gift ever.
Morgan. I watch you all the time, you know. I've known you now for several years; first, I had an illogical dislike for you, followed almost immediately by a grudging respect and a cautious friendship, and now I'm completely lost without your energy in my life. I occaisonally worry that you will never escape the lull of The Apartment, but I know better. Just from the mirrored light in your eyes I know you'll make it through intact. The expansive intelligence and life you are literally inundated in astound me, challenege me, make me ecstatic and joyful that we are finally the friends we should have been a long time ago.
Kate. I love you, although sometimes I question if I should. I do not miss you for the way you were; I will not mourn you while you still draw breath. You boldly lie, you collect hearts on your sleeve, and you make everyone around you dance to fulfill your ennui. Regardless of this, I love you as much as I've ever loved anyone. Please, please, let it all go. Stop baring your teeth at the world.
Anthony. You mistake fear for progress.
Mikey. You are fighting for a corpse. Your redemption can only be found in adaptation and acceptance. I sincerely feel that once you regain wakefulness, you could be more than you ever imagined. Don't let me down.
Mandy. There have been too many times I have seen you in the heated throes of happiness, only to pivot and find yourself collapsed. Be careful with Ed; just, be careful in general. You deserve the inherent joy you are now discovering was embedded within yourself all along. Frankly, you rock.
Erica. Sometimes I think you are the most beautiful person I have ever met.
Catherine. You are wise. You have a good mind. You, of all people, are possible of creation. You do not need to borrow words or feelings or ideas; you are those things. I know you are capable of brilliant flares of faith. I know you will grow into your own life soon enough.
Crystal. You give off the impression of incadescent glass. You are beautiful and clever but, inevitably, made of glass. You are an incredible person, why would you want to hide behind your facets? Take yourself and run with it.
Morgan Hayes. You're cool.
...
This is my last journal entry. Goodnight, and thanks for listening.