Spring Break is Almost Over!
I can't believe that spring break is almost over. I know some of my friends are excited to get back. but I think break has gone by tooo fucking fast. A part of me is excited to get back. there's load of cool things going on. like wednesday, i'm seeing the editors at the 930 club and saturday, i'm going to see she wants revenge (hopefully) but that'll be weird without my sister being there.
So here's the twist of things...while I love being at UMD and I love my new friends and all that is happening, a huge part of me just wants to stay in Frostburg. I forgot how amazing my parents and sister are. Growing up, I never thought how much they meant to me and well, here I am almost 21 and I am now realizing how they are everything. Family is so important to me. I also realized how much I miss the architecture of Cumberland and Frostburg. I also miss how bizarre I am here. I still am an outcast, but it feels familiar and normal. I don't have to compete with anyone here. I know it's weird to have the feeling that i'm competing to be myself at school.
In a way, it's like I live two lives and that's hard. I mean both have common grounds, but I have two homes, and things are sooo much different here than at umd. I miss the small things I used to do when I lived and went to school at home. I wish I could just have both, but that's not possible really. I know for one thing, I am seriously looking forward to coming home for holy week and easter. Holy Week (which is what leads up to Easter) is one of my favorite times of the year. In Allegany County, the weather is usually warm, the flowers are out and it makes me feel alive. Also, some of you know while others don't, it's my favorite time in the church. The rituals and services done in the Lutheran church are amazing. (yes i'm rather religious but I don't wear it on my sleeves and I'm very open minded.)
I am also looking forward to summer break, because I will be here for a long time and not have to worry about if i get to see all of my friends and go to the places i love. I am hoping to get a good job for the summer. Right now, it looks like i'm going to try for a few different things. Here's a small list in mind... 1. writing or something at the Cumberland Times Newspaper 2.Camp councelor 3.working at the book store. I am sure I can find something that's flexable and gives me atleast 20 hours a week. I'd like to work about 40 hours a week!
So, I guess I should tell you all what i've done recently... Today, I've been listening to the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album and trying to write a review. I had a good review started but the computer froozed on me and I'm back at square one. Hopefully before I go to bed tonight, I'll have something completed. I still have my she wants revenge article to write. I have good ideas started for that one. Also, I went to the grocery store with my mom and that was nice. It's sad when you get excited over going to the store with your mom haha.
Last night, I talked to my older sister Chrissa. Her birthday was last week. She turned 30, which is sureal to realize that 10 years ago, she was my age. We talked like nothing has ever changed. except maybe i'm getting more experiences and i'm growing up. She still gives me advice too. sooo, we talked about what she did for St. Pat's day and I told her about my roomates and what I did at the black cat last weekend. She always has the best stories. I remember being in middle school and hearing her stories of going out with friends and raising hell. I'm thankful she's my older sister, well she's technically my half sister, but honestly, she's my sister.
It's funny last night we talked about what we should do for my 21st birthday. She got the idea of taking me and sarah (youngest sister of all of us lahman girls...she'll be 18 in june) out for kareoke and getting me cosmolitas. i think i spelled that drink right. I don't drink at all, but I think I should atleast have one girl drink on my birthday. I live by a strict set of morals, but I do realize I should try something for once as well. I told her she's not getting me drunk. no fucking way! she laughed at me. We also talked about my situation with guys. Her conclusions are pretty great. she said that chris and nick are both assholes and it's good i'm moving on. (I only talk about them because i like hearing people's opinions on it.) I think for now, i'm giving up on guys and just looking for people to hang out with me. anyways, her other conclusion is that I should have a one night stand with a male friend of mine to get rid of my stress, which is really funny to me, because that ain't gonna happen. I don't have the guts to ask, and who the hell would be that crazy to do such things. The last thing we talked about was when i'm coming back home, which is holy week. She said that she could take time off and visit me! so hopefully, next month, I'll be hanging out with her and enjoying time away from school even though it's not an offical break. the university has to excuse me because it's religious holiday!
I think I am done writing now. I write until I feel like i've run out of things to say or that my craving to write has been satisfied. I am a writer and journalist, so my long entries shouldn't surprise anyone really!
Take care and be good to yourselves.
ps- It looks like I'm seeing the editors for free on Wednesday night at the 930 club. anyone going to that show???
So here's the twist of things...while I love being at UMD and I love my new friends and all that is happening, a huge part of me just wants to stay in Frostburg. I forgot how amazing my parents and sister are. Growing up, I never thought how much they meant to me and well, here I am almost 21 and I am now realizing how they are everything. Family is so important to me. I also realized how much I miss the architecture of Cumberland and Frostburg. I also miss how bizarre I am here. I still am an outcast, but it feels familiar and normal. I don't have to compete with anyone here. I know it's weird to have the feeling that i'm competing to be myself at school.
In a way, it's like I live two lives and that's hard. I mean both have common grounds, but I have two homes, and things are sooo much different here than at umd. I miss the small things I used to do when I lived and went to school at home. I wish I could just have both, but that's not possible really. I know for one thing, I am seriously looking forward to coming home for holy week and easter. Holy Week (which is what leads up to Easter) is one of my favorite times of the year. In Allegany County, the weather is usually warm, the flowers are out and it makes me feel alive. Also, some of you know while others don't, it's my favorite time in the church. The rituals and services done in the Lutheran church are amazing. (yes i'm rather religious but I don't wear it on my sleeves and I'm very open minded.)
I am also looking forward to summer break, because I will be here for a long time and not have to worry about if i get to see all of my friends and go to the places i love. I am hoping to get a good job for the summer. Right now, it looks like i'm going to try for a few different things. Here's a small list in mind... 1. writing or something at the Cumberland Times Newspaper 2.Camp councelor 3.working at the book store. I am sure I can find something that's flexable and gives me atleast 20 hours a week. I'd like to work about 40 hours a week!
So, I guess I should tell you all what i've done recently... Today, I've been listening to the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album and trying to write a review. I had a good review started but the computer froozed on me and I'm back at square one. Hopefully before I go to bed tonight, I'll have something completed. I still have my she wants revenge article to write. I have good ideas started for that one. Also, I went to the grocery store with my mom and that was nice. It's sad when you get excited over going to the store with your mom haha.
Last night, I talked to my older sister Chrissa. Her birthday was last week. She turned 30, which is sureal to realize that 10 years ago, she was my age. We talked like nothing has ever changed. except maybe i'm getting more experiences and i'm growing up. She still gives me advice too. sooo, we talked about what she did for St. Pat's day and I told her about my roomates and what I did at the black cat last weekend. She always has the best stories. I remember being in middle school and hearing her stories of going out with friends and raising hell. I'm thankful she's my older sister, well she's technically my half sister, but honestly, she's my sister.
It's funny last night we talked about what we should do for my 21st birthday. She got the idea of taking me and sarah (youngest sister of all of us lahman girls...she'll be 18 in june) out for kareoke and getting me cosmolitas. i think i spelled that drink right. I don't drink at all, but I think I should atleast have one girl drink on my birthday. I live by a strict set of morals, but I do realize I should try something for once as well. I told her she's not getting me drunk. no fucking way! she laughed at me. We also talked about my situation with guys. Her conclusions are pretty great. she said that chris and nick are both assholes and it's good i'm moving on. (I only talk about them because i like hearing people's opinions on it.) I think for now, i'm giving up on guys and just looking for people to hang out with me. anyways, her other conclusion is that I should have a one night stand with a male friend of mine to get rid of my stress, which is really funny to me, because that ain't gonna happen. I don't have the guts to ask, and who the hell would be that crazy to do such things. The last thing we talked about was when i'm coming back home, which is holy week. She said that she could take time off and visit me! so hopefully, next month, I'll be hanging out with her and enjoying time away from school even though it's not an offical break. the university has to excuse me because it's religious holiday!
I think I am done writing now. I write until I feel like i've run out of things to say or that my craving to write has been satisfied. I am a writer and journalist, so my long entries shouldn't surprise anyone really!
Take care and be good to yourselves.
ps- It looks like I'm seeing the editors for free on Wednesday night at the 930 club. anyone going to that show???