And then the rabbi said... [insert sexual punchline here]
I wrote this about a week ago... but didn't post it because it would completely make everything I'd just typed invalid. Whatev. I'm posting anyway.
EAT THAT.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Again with the "not too much has happened, really" post. It almost makes writing in this journal seem... silly?
Wait. It doesn't need that excuse to seem silly. These things are silly on their own. There is no reason for these things. Hooray for all of us, using these silly little journals to type things to people we know are reading... Things we pretend are deep and pretend we don't want anyone to know... but they're all things we desperately want people to know but feel too self conscious to really say anything because we don't want to sound silly.
So, instead of actually saying things to people, we just put "I'm so in love with _____" and "____ must hate me" in our livejournals, hoping to get a response from that person...
I am saying WE, by the way. Everyone who is obsessed with their online journals does it... People who update almost every day... Our friends read our journals. We do entire entries about these friends... because...? It's not like they weren't there to experience what we're talking about. Why do we feel the need to retell the experience to the people who were there?
It's all just silly to me, I guess.
What I think is sillier is when people try to get deep and whatnot in their posts (I guess kinda like this one? Ha). I used to try to do it all the time at Diaryland (ah, the good ol' online diary... the original), but then I realized I'm not really that deep and I don't particularly have any reason to pretend. The only people who read that diary at the end were Michelle... and... Michelle. I had no one to impress.
Cryptic journal entries are the best.
"Someone did something to me and it made me feel some way, but I can't tell you."
Come on. You just know when you see that, the person who wrote it desperately wants people to comment, "But whyyyy?! What happened?! I love you! I'm there for you!"
Attention, damnit. Attention.
Maybe I'm just jealous because I don't update anymore.
I don't have anyone to talk about.
I can't say, "I'm so in live with _____," and I don't think anybody hates me at the moment... That I know of or care about anyway.
I guess that's the downfall to not having any friends. You don't have anybody to write to in your journal. You don't have them to write about.
I remember when I had like 40 people on my friends list... and I used to honest to God read their journal entries.
I think I have like 10 friends now on my list (if even that many)... I used to keep everyone on there because I was scared of hurting someone's feelings... A couple months ago, I took someone off my friends list because this person's entries just irked the hell out of me. The person got upset and took me of their friends list... Like it was some form of payback... Because it's such a privelege to be listed on that particular friends list... Because I cared so much. There's only like one person who reads my journal anyway.
Who am I to think just because I'm on your friends list you actually read my journal? Rather presumptuous of me, I guess. Good thing I don't really care.
I honestly don't care if you take me off your list if you're not reading my journal. That's really honestly fine with me. Besides, makes more sense for you.
I read... two journals?
Jonathyn's because he's my roommate, I love him, and he always has something fun to say about what he's been doing or the sad state of the world in his journal, though he hardly updates.
Al's because... I miss her.
And that's it.
I would read April's and Josh's... but they never put entries up. They don't breathe this thing. Good for them.
Know how when you're on the phone with your mom... at the end of the conversation, you exchange the ILOVEYOUs? It normally goes something like:
You: Okay, Mom, I love you, I'll talk to you later.
Your Mom: Okay, honey. Love you too. Bye bye.
It's really sad when my conversation is ended with my mom, it kinda goes like this:
Me: Okay, Mom, I love you, I'll talk to you later.
My Mom: Okay, honey. Love you too. Make friends.
So maybe I only hate this journal now because I don't have any friends I want to write to or about.
And it just hit me.
The comments.
"But Maggie, I love you!"
Of course.
I'm just a lonely miserable person. That's all. Continue with your happy live journal posts.
EAT THAT.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Again with the "not too much has happened, really" post. It almost makes writing in this journal seem... silly?
Wait. It doesn't need that excuse to seem silly. These things are silly on their own. There is no reason for these things. Hooray for all of us, using these silly little journals to type things to people we know are reading... Things we pretend are deep and pretend we don't want anyone to know... but they're all things we desperately want people to know but feel too self conscious to really say anything because we don't want to sound silly.
So, instead of actually saying things to people, we just put "I'm so in love with _____" and "____ must hate me" in our livejournals, hoping to get a response from that person...
I am saying WE, by the way. Everyone who is obsessed with their online journals does it... People who update almost every day... Our friends read our journals. We do entire entries about these friends... because...? It's not like they weren't there to experience what we're talking about. Why do we feel the need to retell the experience to the people who were there?
It's all just silly to me, I guess.
What I think is sillier is when people try to get deep and whatnot in their posts (I guess kinda like this one? Ha). I used to try to do it all the time at Diaryland (ah, the good ol' online diary... the original), but then I realized I'm not really that deep and I don't particularly have any reason to pretend. The only people who read that diary at the end were Michelle... and... Michelle. I had no one to impress.
Cryptic journal entries are the best.
"Someone did something to me and it made me feel some way, but I can't tell you."
Come on. You just know when you see that, the person who wrote it desperately wants people to comment, "But whyyyy?! What happened?! I love you! I'm there for you!"
Attention, damnit. Attention.
Maybe I'm just jealous because I don't update anymore.
I don't have anyone to talk about.
I can't say, "I'm so in live with _____," and I don't think anybody hates me at the moment... That I know of or care about anyway.
I guess that's the downfall to not having any friends. You don't have anybody to write to in your journal. You don't have them to write about.
I remember when I had like 40 people on my friends list... and I used to honest to God read their journal entries.
I think I have like 10 friends now on my list (if even that many)... I used to keep everyone on there because I was scared of hurting someone's feelings... A couple months ago, I took someone off my friends list because this person's entries just irked the hell out of me. The person got upset and took me of their friends list... Like it was some form of payback... Because it's such a privelege to be listed on that particular friends list... Because I cared so much. There's only like one person who reads my journal anyway.
Who am I to think just because I'm on your friends list you actually read my journal? Rather presumptuous of me, I guess. Good thing I don't really care.
I honestly don't care if you take me off your list if you're not reading my journal. That's really honestly fine with me. Besides, makes more sense for you.
I read... two journals?
Jonathyn's because he's my roommate, I love him, and he always has something fun to say about what he's been doing or the sad state of the world in his journal, though he hardly updates.
Al's because... I miss her.
And that's it.
I would read April's and Josh's... but they never put entries up. They don't breathe this thing. Good for them.
Know how when you're on the phone with your mom... at the end of the conversation, you exchange the ILOVEYOUs? It normally goes something like:
You: Okay, Mom, I love you, I'll talk to you later.
Your Mom: Okay, honey. Love you too. Bye bye.
It's really sad when my conversation is ended with my mom, it kinda goes like this:
Me: Okay, Mom, I love you, I'll talk to you later.
My Mom: Okay, honey. Love you too. Make friends.
So maybe I only hate this journal now because I don't have any friends I want to write to or about.
And it just hit me.
The comments.
"But Maggie, I love you!"
Of course.
I'm just a lonely miserable person. That's all. Continue with your happy live journal posts.