I figure I hav'nt posted anything real for a while. Forgive how emo the following sounds.
Dear God,
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. I have given over the last four years of my life to you, and openly became willing to do whatever it is you would have me do to become right with the world. I have found friends, and done what you asked of me, and I have asked for so little in return. Anything I wanted I never asked you for, I only sought it on my own. And yet, I have not been removed of the worst inner demons that I have. They still torture me. I still fear the things I never wanted to fear again. Trust, abandonment, speculation, jealousy. These still twist me and change me and all I want is to be myself, all I want is to be normal. The one thing I asked of you, And you haven't done shit. Do you not remember? "Admitted to god, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.", "We are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." and, "Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings."
DO YOU NOT REMEMBER?! HAVE I NOT DONE WHAT YOU ASKED OF ME IN RETURN FOR MY SERENITY?! FUCK YOU!
Where is the happiness I was promised, and that I smiled at when I was a kid? What God lets someone with so much faith down like this?
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. I have given over the last four years of my life to you, and openly became willing to do whatever it is you would have me do to become right with the world. I have found friends, and done what you asked of me, and I have asked for so little in return. Anything I wanted I never asked you for, I only sought it on my own. And yet, I have not been removed of the worst inner demons that I have. They still torture me. I still fear the things I never wanted to fear again. Trust, abandonment, speculation, jealousy. These still twist me and change me and all I want is to be myself, all I want is to be normal. The one thing I asked of you, And you haven't done shit. Do you not remember? "Admitted to god, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.", "We are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." and, "Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings."
DO YOU NOT REMEMBER?! HAVE I NOT DONE WHAT YOU ASKED OF ME IN RETURN FOR MY SERENITY?! FUCK YOU!
Where is the happiness I was promised, and that I smiled at when I was a kid? What God lets someone with so much faith down like this?