(no subject)
Letely I have been having the most vivid dreams, and visions. Not exactly sure what to make of them, but they have freaked me out a bit. About my dad, and about 311 and family and all kinds of different stuff. Going overseas...
The other night I was in the complete darkness in my new house, and I didn't knwo where I was, lost all sense of direction... quite strange.
Nothing really new, just these visions. Not exactly sure what they mean.I have decided to go overseas next year to the US abd UK. Trying like crazy to save as much as possible in 14 months. Don't like chances of reaching the goals I have set, but I will be right. I will have fun no matter what.
I have to change the half arsed attitude I seem to have grown accustomed to. Doing things half arsed and making twice the work form me. Stresses me out just thinking about it. Just ahve to take thigns slow, make sure I am doing everything right and for the right reasons.
it is time to grow up. no more of this keeping people around me just in case I need something. Can't do that. inly room for people I want to be there because they should be. because after the dust settles they will be the nes I can rely on in a pinch. The ones that are going to be there for me regardless of anything I might say or do. The real honest types. There isn't much of that happening in the world, so you have to look after the ones that treat you that way, and make sure you treat them the way they deserve in return.
Too many people are fake and full of shit. Myself included. i have been known to tell people what they want to hear to get what I want. Like all of you. At least I have the guts to admit it to myself and all of you as well. The world is selfish and it can't be escaped. Just have to do the best with the tools you have, and be as happy as you can be.
Sometimes to me it seems like the more mistakes and wrong decisions that we make the harder it gets to become happy at the end of the race. Honestly do you know many people at age 40, even 50 that are exctatically happy at how life has turned out for them? I don't really think I do know many. You get what your given and if that is not good enough you start your spiral. You can never attain that happiness you have dreamt about because your actions won't allow it. I know what I mean.
M@
The other night I was in the complete darkness in my new house, and I didn't knwo where I was, lost all sense of direction... quite strange.
Nothing really new, just these visions. Not exactly sure what they mean.I have decided to go overseas next year to the US abd UK. Trying like crazy to save as much as possible in 14 months. Don't like chances of reaching the goals I have set, but I will be right. I will have fun no matter what.
I have to change the half arsed attitude I seem to have grown accustomed to. Doing things half arsed and making twice the work form me. Stresses me out just thinking about it. Just ahve to take thigns slow, make sure I am doing everything right and for the right reasons.
it is time to grow up. no more of this keeping people around me just in case I need something. Can't do that. inly room for people I want to be there because they should be. because after the dust settles they will be the nes I can rely on in a pinch. The ones that are going to be there for me regardless of anything I might say or do. The real honest types. There isn't much of that happening in the world, so you have to look after the ones that treat you that way, and make sure you treat them the way they deserve in return.
Too many people are fake and full of shit. Myself included. i have been known to tell people what they want to hear to get what I want. Like all of you. At least I have the guts to admit it to myself and all of you as well. The world is selfish and it can't be escaped. Just have to do the best with the tools you have, and be as happy as you can be.
Sometimes to me it seems like the more mistakes and wrong decisions that we make the harder it gets to become happy at the end of the race. Honestly do you know many people at age 40, even 50 that are exctatically happy at how life has turned out for them? I don't really think I do know many. You get what your given and if that is not good enough you start your spiral. You can never attain that happiness you have dreamt about because your actions won't allow it. I know what I mean.
M@