ch 7
life stories, well im afraid i have too many. too many to tell, too many for people to understand. you may read them on these pages and say to yourselves, "These things could never happen to one person." And at that point, i half-heartedly ask you to believe. you will never know if i have really felt and seen these events, but you will read them for yourselves and absorb them into every pore of your body, untill they become parts of your being that you carry with yourself to work, the grocery store, and the sidewalk in-between. That is how far my stories will travel, eventhough i stay in the same places i have always been.
some stories haunt me, some grace my prescence, but on paper they are revealed for the world to see and eventually to walk the earth in each and every one of you. how does it feel? how does it feel to be one of the many? i have talked, taught and bumped into many people in my short lifetime, and everytime they think ive told them my life story, ive only told them a facet of my past. i find that scary, that all these people out there think im just one of the many that live in this or that situation, when i really live in a this, that and everything else kind of situation. i never know whether to brag or hide, to show people that the person who sits behind them in environmental science has a horrid past or make it seem that they are really just fine, just like you.
im sad to say the other day i revealed one of my many life stories to girls ive known less than a week. my stratgey was to wait a little bit longer than that. they laughed when they heard it. id like to think they laughed rather than absorb how horrible it was, and i pretended to laugh with them. i had no real reaction inside, i didnt know what to think,and now the girls are saying i feel like she should get the queen seat for all shes been through. but just because all this crap has happened to me, what do i really deserve? do i deserve to get a good job because my dad died or because i have a gung-ho attitude?
some stories haunt me, some grace my prescence, but on paper they are revealed for the world to see and eventually to walk the earth in each and every one of you. how does it feel? how does it feel to be one of the many? i have talked, taught and bumped into many people in my short lifetime, and everytime they think ive told them my life story, ive only told them a facet of my past. i find that scary, that all these people out there think im just one of the many that live in this or that situation, when i really live in a this, that and everything else kind of situation. i never know whether to brag or hide, to show people that the person who sits behind them in environmental science has a horrid past or make it seem that they are really just fine, just like you.
im sad to say the other day i revealed one of my many life stories to girls ive known less than a week. my stratgey was to wait a little bit longer than that. they laughed when they heard it. id like to think they laughed rather than absorb how horrible it was, and i pretended to laugh with them. i had no real reaction inside, i didnt know what to think,and now the girls are saying i feel like she should get the queen seat for all shes been through. but just because all this crap has happened to me, what do i really deserve? do i deserve to get a good job because my dad died or because i have a gung-ho attitude?