The Real Infinite Crisis
I once again allowed myself to believe yet another lie that everything was okay. In the midst of things, my little niece has been sick with lukemia. She died today at age two, my sister is beside herself in grief and I don't know what to say to her or do. I feel lost, I was sitting here on my computer bitching about how bored I was and then my mom comes in and says to me to call my sister because she needed me.
I am tired of losing, I have lost in the past few months, a grandfather, a brother, a friend and now, a niece. Three dead and one who walks away. I use to believe that things would be okay, I now know that things don't get better really...life truly is an infinite crisis with moments of contenment in between. I am completly tired, I shouldn't have to always be crying, fighting to be loved, excepted, not fighting to keep people in my life and not walk away. I am just really over it. May be I should be selfish and just say and do comepletly what I want, seems everyone else is....I wish I could make this post make sense to you...but unless you have been on a surreal emotional rollercoaster as I have over the past sevral months, there are no words to real describe it.
I am tired of losing, I have lost in the past few months, a grandfather, a brother, a friend and now, a niece. Three dead and one who walks away. I use to believe that things would be okay, I now know that things don't get better really...life truly is an infinite crisis with moments of contenment in between. I am completly tired, I shouldn't have to always be crying, fighting to be loved, excepted, not fighting to keep people in my life and not walk away. I am just really over it. May be I should be selfish and just say and do comepletly what I want, seems everyone else is....I wish I could make this post make sense to you...but unless you have been on a surreal emotional rollercoaster as I have over the past sevral months, there are no words to real describe it.