Random musings
I wish i could still live in the 90s. I remember when i was little people used to throw parties and the whole neighborhood was invited. We would hang out with people we didn't even know but they would treat us as friends. Everybody would just have fun and dance and hang out. A lot of the time it would be a puerto rican person who threw the party and people would tell us that puerto rican people didn't like white people and there used to be a lot of taboos against them but they were actually WAY more friendly that the white people in the neighboorhood. I don't know if that was because i was a kid or whatever but i never had any problems. I actually feel really blessed to have been exposed to some of the things i was exposed to when i was young. I remember when i was young a friend of my family who i knew my whole life turned out to be a lesbien. Her name was Shannon and she was the daughter of my moms friend who i adored. When i was around idk 7 or 8 Shannon was in her early 20s and i remember going to sleep over on my birthday weekend and Shannon had her "friend" over that night. As little kids tend to do i woke up way earlier and wandered around. I saw Shannon and her friend sleeping in the same bed and I remember thinking it was odd but didn't really mind. I also remember thinking "What if they are dating?" that was the first time I had ever thought about that option because I had never heard of that lifestyle. My little 7 year old brain contemplated the idea and found nothing wrong with it. I just thought if they loved each other it was fine. I knew what sex was at that age but not the mechanics or whatever. I didn't really ponder how things would work but still came up with it's cool for people to date whomever they wanted. I also had a neighbor named Edgar who was transgender back before that was a hot issue in the news. I was around 13. He would dress like a girl and have a wig and be called Jasmine. I remember thinking it was interesting but not weird or sinful. I thought if he wanted to be a girl we should let him it didn't really matter it wasn't my choice to make. He was my friend just a little older maybe 16 or 17 and we would sit on the stairs or go get Lembas not sure if that is spelled right basically it is flavored ice in a cup. Like italian ice but you don't eat it with a spoon. They were like 50 cents. Now you would probably pay like 2 dollars or something. I'm not sure why I was so opened minded at such a young age but I think it has a lot to do with my brother being mentally handicapped. I had always had to deal with him being different and people treating him different and sticking up for him so maybe it helped me have the ability to look at people a little deeper than the outside and know the people within. It also taught me patience and understanding and to love no matter what. My brother liked everybody and people really liked him once they got to know him. He was always the life of the party. I always look back at when we were little and how i used to treat him. I would just brush him of and leave him to his own devices when we were home and when we didn't have a lot of food or something he would always get the scraps my other brother and i left behind such as beds. My brother slept on a boxspring because there wern't enough mattresses. Things like that make me feel so guilty, granted my parents should have been taking care of all of us but they were selfish selfcentered people who didn't have the time. This is probably why I was watching The Rocky Horror picture show when i was like 5.No Parental guidance. When my mother actually caught me she was like Thats not for kids and i was like " Why? I like all the dancing and singing?" She asked me some questions about the adult themes and I gave totally naive innocent responses so she let me watch it. Probably another reason I was so opened minded. The 90s were just cooler. I remember getting a walkman from my Aunt and Uncle and they gave me a mixed tape to go with it. I would listen to it for hours sometimes I would pull the hems of my pants over the bottom of my feet and pretend i was a figure skater performing to those songs just sliding on my kitchen floor. My brother and i also used to make our own slip and slide in the upstairs hallway. We rubbed ivory soap all over the floor then throw water over it and slide across naked. Until my parents saw the floor start to rot then they took issue. Oops. Again no parental supervision. Too busy sleeping all day and working all night and vice versa. Oh well it was probably better that i had less time to learn bad habits and ways of thinking from them.