Induced by random fits of crying
Still in town....I was in bed with someone and we were just about asleep.....but well that is between us....and no, I'm not mad at him. Even though he thinks I am, I'm really not. Slightly irritated that he choose her over me....but it's ok, I probably would have done the same thing.......idk......
I'm really in a bad mood for some reason. I don't know what has gotten into me. Maybe my mind told my body that I was going home. Because I actually started driving home and she started fucking yelling at me so I turned around and came back. But maybe my brain had set in the "you are going back to conservative republican hell" mode. Because I have gotten really bitchy and defensive and I just don't want to deal with anything right now.
I'm also pretty sure that I made a D in hebrew bible. I'm really not happy. Dr. Strong knows that I am trying my fucking hardest. Maybe there is something not added in.....because he didn't have our paper grades or attendance up. I'm better with the grade after I hand wrote in my paper. It's still a D. And no where near a C, so he can't like help me out and fudge a few points to bump me up either. Maybe attendance will be enough, because I showed up every single class period, minus the day before thanksgiving when he told us no attendance was taken, it was just Jared the Grad Student doing paper help. But I completely bombed the final. I made a 48%. I don't feel as bad knowing that the average grade was like a 57%. So the average grade was a failing grade as well. Because a failing grade is a failing grade. Which means maybe he might curve it up a bit to help us out.......maybe, doubt it, but maybe....
Now I'm rambling....and I think I am going to go lay in bed and read for a bit and hope to fall without crying again. Because in addition to me being angry at the world, I am also randomly bursting out into tears, for no reason that I can put a name on. I'm really not sure what the fuck is going on.