Have you ever had anxiety so bad...
you feel like you're on the verge of throwing up constantly? That's me. I've felt like that it seems like forever. Definitely since my current shrink took me off the Clonazepam--that was last year April--I feel like it's been a downward spiral. That shit worked wonders for my anxiety, but the doc said it causes dementia in older adults, so while I understand the why of it, I really fucking hate the results. So I finally said something about that and the fact I've suffered from anxiety all my life at my last appointment with her. She's set me up with an appointment with the anxiety specialist at the clinic and recommended an 8-week session of group therapy. We'll see how that works.
School is going quite well, even if I'm still not keeping up with the reading. The group project I've been working on with two others has been quite successful; we received a 92 on the first part and a 98 on the second so we're all quite pleased. Also very happy with my individual project, but I won't get that back until next week most likely. Still, school is adding to the above mentioned anxiety as I'm constantly struggling with anxiety induced procrastination. The shrink recommended CBT as part of my therapy, but seriously, all I want are the good drugs. I don't care how "self aware" I am, this is an ingrained thought pattern, at 57 I don't hold out much hope of being able to talk myself out of it. But I'm willing to give it the old college try. Ahahaha. Puns, gotta love 'em.
And maybe I should give up on the tea. Or just switch complete to green tea. But I love the black teas I get from this online company (Adagio Teas), I don't want to give them up! But any caffeine just exacerbates the anxiety; it's why I switched to decaf coffee over 10 years ago. I suppose I could try some of their decafs and herbals, but you can't find as many of the lovely custom blends as decaf. Sigh.
Anyway, at least Thanksgiving was relatively stress free! My daughter did most of the cooking (I just brought dessert; well, two desserts.) We watched Maleficient before dinner and then we played a rousing game of Cards Against Humanity afterwards. Just a nice day with good food and no drama.
School is going quite well, even if I'm still not keeping up with the reading. The group project I've been working on with two others has been quite successful; we received a 92 on the first part and a 98 on the second so we're all quite pleased. Also very happy with my individual project, but I won't get that back until next week most likely. Still, school is adding to the above mentioned anxiety as I'm constantly struggling with anxiety induced procrastination. The shrink recommended CBT as part of my therapy, but seriously, all I want are the good drugs. I don't care how "self aware" I am, this is an ingrained thought pattern, at 57 I don't hold out much hope of being able to talk myself out of it. But I'm willing to give it the old college try. Ahahaha. Puns, gotta love 'em.
And maybe I should give up on the tea. Or just switch complete to green tea. But I love the black teas I get from this online company (Adagio Teas), I don't want to give them up! But any caffeine just exacerbates the anxiety; it's why I switched to decaf coffee over 10 years ago. I suppose I could try some of their decafs and herbals, but you can't find as many of the lovely custom blends as decaf. Sigh.
Anyway, at least Thanksgiving was relatively stress free! My daughter did most of the cooking (I just brought dessert; well, two desserts.) We watched Maleficient before dinner and then we played a rousing game of Cards Against Humanity afterwards. Just a nice day with good food and no drama.